TTC after Miscarriage Thread 8

[mummyofrb]

Just starting this as last thread nearly full💕🌈

@MrsGrealish sorry there taking so long to go down it sis so so cruel when your just in that waiting game.

@pangolin84 I would maybe check with a frer in a day or so. Avoids confusion then doing tests if your gonna ttc straight away if you ovulate.

i had a big old cry last night in bed. I seem to be okay for a few weeks and then it’s like all the emotions builds and comes out at once. Just fed up of this journey. Couldn’t stop thinking I should have a 20 week bump and I don’t and be half way through.

13 months on this journey and feel like I won’t ever get to give my 4 year old a sibling and is it getting too late 😞

also I’m freaking out about having been pregnant 4 times in my life and only one successful baby. Don’t know how ppl fall pregnant like poof and get the baby each time. It baffles me. I just can’t seem to do it 😫😫 do I matbe have dodgy eggs. Just worries me having to do any of this again and again.

sorry for moan ladies. Think AF arriving has only just hit me. CD5 today though and AF nearly over. So onwards and upwards. But 😩😩

@Indianna2006 that last miscarriage traumatised me. I can't even imagine getting pregnant and not expecting this again. I'm just at the what's the point now🤷‍♀️🥲 but onwards we have to go

@calimc83 I'm 7dpo today. I had a horrible night last night. I managed to knock a glass of water over in my sleep so had to get up to clean that up and then my son was crying, first as he wanted water and second as he was too hot in his sleeping bag x__x

I'll be testing on Tuesday (12dpo) I think unless spotting happens first. How many dpo are you?

@Indianna2006 hope you are feeling better this morning 🌺 I’ve been feeling really tearful the last few days as well, I hasn’t cried about Jesse for ages and suddenly the last few nights I’ve been going to bed and thinking about nothing but him, and having a little cry.
I’ve found that it just comes out at random times, it’s 6 months down the line for me and I’ll just be having a totally normal day/week/month and suddenly it’ll just be like bam grief. But it’s less all-encompassing each time it happens, I’m not floored by it anymore, I can shake it off and carry on. It will get better for you too ❤️
Its hard not to compare yourself to everyone else and I get what you mean, people don’t realise how lucky they are just getting pregnant and having nice easy pregnancies. I know every pregnancy comes with its own challenges but I could only wish to be able to just quickly get and stay pregnant every time. I’ve been pregnant 3 times with only one child :(

@LuckyMoonstone it’s so hard isn’t it. Some Journeys are so easy and others so hard. Have to try keep the faith.

I think that’s it. I feel like I’m doing well and getting on with things. And then bam. Like you said comes out of nowhere. But I guess that’s normal.

i think just breathe. Another chance. We go again. It’s just riddled with anxiety isn’t it and worry. Etc etc.

and mum guilt is the worst. Guilty I haven’t given her a sibling and they won’t be close in age. I had lots of issues so couldn’t ttc any earlier and now I’m 13 months in and 2 losses. Just feels really unfair. But ultimately I want another child so any sibling I’m sure she will love. Just hope it isn’t long 🤞🏼

@Indianna2006 moan all you like lovely that's what everyone's here for ❤️ it totally totally sucks but having a cry does help

Your not the only one that wonders all these things. I put on a smile everyday but I sit at work and wonder what my bump would have been like and I just sit here and wish I was pregnant again and how it's just so so unfair 😩

@MrsGrealish sending love ❤️

@Indianna2006 oh god Ive been starting to feel that guilt now, I’m glad it’s normal and not just me! Been thinking about it recently and feeling sad that DS only has me and his dad at home with him, I worried he’s bored or only! But he’s only 18 months, he doesn’t understand the concept of brothers & sisters. I’ve got a 7 and 9 year gap between me and my two younger brothers and we are still close, I still loved playing with them when they were kids and I was a teenager. I’m sure everything will work out for you in the end x

Hope u are all ok ladies. TTC after loss really is a roller coaster 🎢 😫..@TheBirdintheCave I think I'm also around 7DPO. I didn't use OPK's this cycle but apparently your fit bit can tell you when you have ovulated 😬..so currently trying not to obsess over that...easier said than done! I'm gonna try my hardest not to test early....famous last words! X

Anyone know if you can book a private blood test to see what your hcg level is?

Sorry for my many questions 🙈 I have been doing strip opks because I can't help it 🤷🏼‍♀️ they haven't been peak but have been high. I saw somewhere that hcg can make them higher which I didn't know and I'm obviously still positive on a pregnancy test after MC. Do you think I should stop doing them until after my negative test or just carry on I'm not overly bothered about the ones I've done because they are only cheap strip ones but I did get some CB ones which I don't want to waste

@mummatara I think medichecks might do them? X

@mummatara so on Monday my FRER was positive but cheap OPK strip only had a 0.24 reading but I know they do pick up hcg so confusing 😕

@calimc83 thanks just had a look £50 I'll go and order one

@MrsGrealish it really is so confusing I use Femometer which gives you a % for opk tests. I take it 0.24 is a low reading?

Not sure I can trust them to be right but probably still going to use them I might just save the CB ones for after AF arrives.

@mummatara yea it's low..Tuesday was 0.34 also low. Then I gave up. My high is 0.9 ish

Ok I’ve ordered a FRER to make sure my negative pregnancy test really truly is negative (feels like I’m doing more pregnancy tests now that I’m not pregnant than I did when I was pregnant 😂😭).

@mummatara I’ve also started doing some cheapy OPKs since I’ve had so much CM without ovulating. Assuming it wasn’t just residual HCG I think I caught the end of an attempt at an LH surge as it was 0.74 a couple of days ago but now gone down to 0.38. CD22 now and CM is also drying up. Preparing for a long wait for AF…

Also had my first day back at work since the MC today. Had a few wobbly moments, which crept up on me by surprise. It all feels so hard!

@MrsGrealish do you think you'll carry on with opks or just see what happens?

@pangolin84 I feel that I've gone through so many 🤞🏼 for your negative frer. Did you take your CD1 as the day you had procedure? My opk this afternoon registered as low which is the first low one I've had. I had no cm at beg of week then had a couple of days of good looking cm and back to none today 🙄

Oh big hugs back to work is hard there are crazy moments which you don't think will affect you that do. I stupidly went back the Monday after and burst into tears every 5 mins before I took myself back home. One point one of the ladies asked me if I wanted tea and I just cried because I couldn't drink tea when pregnant it made me feel sick 🤦🏼‍♀️ I gave myself a few more days off and went back last week. I would have given myself longer but they are only sympathetic to a point 🙄

@mummatara I think I'll leave it. Not sure how reliable they are with the positive FRER. CM has increased today but it's kinda got a brown tinge. Charming 🤢 and oh so sexy.

Back to work is hard but one of my colleagues had a miscarriage not that long ago so we are kinda helping each other through.

@mummatara @pangolin84 @MrsGrealish Sorry you're going through this, I thought I'd share my experience incase it gives you a bit of peace of mind. I had and D&C at 11 weeks. I bled for just under 3 weeks after, as soon as I stopped I was frantically testing for a negative PT. Kept being positive until about 5 weeks after, just before my first AF. I was told anything upto 6 weeks was normal. I was also told it was still possible to ovulate with the residual hcg. My second cycle was a little longer than normal and now on the 3rd which is back to where I was before. It seems to take forever, but it will get easier (also did the same and went back to work too soon and cried instantly!!) now after 3 months I am able to talk about it without crying everytime so you will get there 😘😘😘

Just did a cheap test at 7dpo with very diluted evening wee, obviously it was negative 😂 just couldn’t resist!

@LuckyMoonstone 😫 I'm trying to resist till at least AF is due..will u test again today?! X

@calimc83 maybe tomorrow, I only have one clear blue early test so I don’t want to waste it. And an internet cheapy will definitely still be negative! Especially as I’ve just missed my FMU haha

Hi guys, coming with more ovulation test confusion…I got the dodgy positive on the clear blue digital test. Test flooded and no test or control line visible on the stick. Mixed messages on whether to believe it or not so I bought a new pack of the CB digitals and have now had 3 days of flashing smileys. Been reading on forums however that the tests tracks a baseline reading from the start of the cycle and measures future readings against this so concerned I’ve confused the test and my flashing smileys might be inaccurate. My cheapy ovulation test kit lines are still really faint. Now on day 20 of this cycle. Been measuring temperature and it’s been generally low with a slight raise in temp today. This is such a minefield!!!! Thanks all for any advice!

@LuckyMoonstone @calimc83 Oh cool all three of us are in the same place :D I only have one CB early result as I ran out of the cheapies and deliberately didn't order more 😂I've told myself I can use it on Tuesday if I get that far. Not too long to go :D

@Totoro1234 you have a 2nd estrogen surge in the 2nd part of your luteal phase around CD21 which sometimes changes CM to become a bit stretchy. That is possibly what the detector is picking up, but you won't get a solid smiley as you won't have a LH surge. I hope that helps!

@LuckyMoonstone 7dpo is super early 😂 keep us updated though!

@MrsGrealish my CM post miscarriages was always a bit weird. I started my periods on time but I seemed to spot streaky brown stuff for quite a while, sometimes into my fertile period. It's been a while since my miscarriage now and it's stopped so it must have been hormonal! Was really weird though!

@FfayeN thank you for sharing your experience it's nice to know how things have been for others.

My blood test is being delivered today and results come back within two days. I think I will wait until Monday to do it though I don't want to risk posting tomorrow and by the time they get it it's useless 🙄 think I'll be too late to post by the time I get home tonight.