TTC over 40 - anyone want to join the club?

[MoreCreamDear]

Hello lovely Mumsnetters,

Mum to one toddler. Aged 42 and just got AF in first cycle TTC. Just read some of the (depressing) statistics on my age and fertility and feeling a bit glum. Thought maybe having a lovely bunch of online buddies in a similar position would be just the tonic for me and hopefully others too. Does anyone fancy joining the club?

Hello, I'd love to join!

I just turned 40 and have a 3 year old. The statistics have been driving me crazy too. 5% chance of conception in each cycle from age 40-44. I keep telling myself that these are outdated stats, that they include all women, also those who do have proven fertility issues. So maybe 7-10% could me more realistic for most women. (i'm not a medical professional tho)

I'm currently in my 3rd cycle, 1st cycle on 200mg progesterone to support my luteal phase, 11 dpo, bfn still. If it's a bfn by 14dpo, i'll discontinue the progesterone and have my bloods and ultrasound done next cycle. If necessary my doctor suggested clomid as lpd generally is due to poor egg quality.

How old is your little one? Are you regular?

Hi @LarasMama

Welcome welcome 😀

I know, the stats are awful but I've been doing the same as you, trying to optimise them in my favour!

When did you approach your doctor? Were they supportive?

I have a 2.5 year old. Have pretty regular cycles. Since having my little boy, it's been really obvious each month when I'm ovulating from the CM and some cramping. I guess egg quality is an issue though.

We fell first time before so I'm a bit disappointed to see AF today.

Is clomid likely to give you a higher chance of twins?

Would love to join you lovelies. I'm 40, been TTC#1 for nearly 3 years. Had a MC in April and currently in the 2WW. The stats are depressing for 40+ so I've set a deadline for IVF - August. It's helping me not lose my mind🙏❤️

Hi ladies,
I tested positive! I’m still in shock. I was so scared that I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant or that I‘d have to take clomid. And here I am, pregnant!
@MoreCreamDear Egg quality can be an issue, but if you got pregnant so quickly with you first at 39, you may fall pregnant again fast.
My gynecologist (I live in Germany) has been supportive. I was very proactive tho and have been taking all sorts of supplements.
Do you track your cycle? BBT? Cm? OPKs?
Are the any issues like anovulatory cycles? Short luteal phase?
I think it’s important to go for your yearly check up and make sure, there are no issues.
Optimize cycle tracking (and bd) and take supplements if needed.
For my luteal phase I took vitex and high dose of B6. This cycle also progesterone.
Apart from that I took Vitamin C, D, B-Complex, Omega 3, Ubiquinol (for egg quality) Magnesium in the eve. All these take at least 3 months to have an impact on the egg cells.
I still can’t believe it! Please stay positive! And don’t wait it out to long if it doesn’t happen straight away. 🙏🏻
@AirGirl That’s tough. I’m sorry it’s taking so long? Do you know what the issue is? Is it egg quality? Have you had all hormone levels checked? (Including thyroid) Sending you lots of Hope! I think it’s important to have a plan b! You will hold your baby in your arms too 🙏🏻

Hello Ladies, would like to join this thread although, unlike yourselves, I have no children yet

@AirGirl Welcome to the club! I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. How disappointing when you've been trying for some time. We had a missed miscarriage before our first and it was really tough.

I'm keeping everything crossed for you and I'm glad we can offer each other support. I think your plan sounds ideal. It's always good to have a just in case plan. Would you have to pay for it privately? It's not something I know much about but would be keen to learn from you.

@LarasMama Amazing news!!! Huge congratulations, I'm so pleased. Do please stay on thread and keep us posted. An early success is very heartening.

I don't know much about my cycle other than it seems to happen every month fairly regularly. I fell pregnant first cycle with both my son and when I had the MMC so never really had to go too in depth before. I've booked to see my GP on Tuesday to talk it all through and I'm going to look in to all those vitamins etc you suggested. Thanks for the great advice and congrats again 👏

@Yoyoathome Welcome welcome! No children needed to join, the more the merrier. How long have you been trying?

Sorry for late reply and thanks a lot for the welcome :) @MoreCreamDear

I would say, I have been trying for about 5 months now, well its a bit difficult to say as there was quite a few months lost due to a mmc (which wasn't pleasant to say the least)

It is nice to be part of a group trying to concieve, for over 40's. 😊

I'm so sorry about your MMC @Yoyoathome We had one before we had our DS and it was a horrid experience so I can completely sympathise. I remember being so anxious after, that it would keep happening but I'm pleased to report that our next pregnancy was fine resulting in our wonderful son. I really hope that you'll have more luck soon.

Are you 'back to normal' in terms of your cycle since the MMC?

@MoreCreamDear Thanks so much for the kind words! Yes i am thankfully back to normal in my cycle, although it took a while (10 weeks) which is a marginally longer than the 4-8 weeks' range.
I am trying with my partner hoping it could happen this year, we will see what happens.

Please can I join?

im 41, I have a 10 year old with my ex. We have been trying just over a year and had a miscarriage last April. Nothing at all since though. We have an appointment at the end of the month with a fertility clinic to do some tests. I’m nervous! The statistics are horrific 🤷‍♀️

@Yoyoathome fingers crossed now your cycle is back to normal. It feels like forever when you're waiting to get back in your cycle again.

@Jamdaisy Welcome to the club! You're among friends.

It sounds like you're being really proactive by having the appointment booked. Hopefully they'll have some useful tips for you and the tests will all be fine.

I have a telephone appointment with the GP tomorrow to discuss TTC. I'm hoping she not going to tell me I'm crazy for even considering it! 😆I've been pretty tired lately too so want to see if I need any blood tests to check for anemia or vitamin deficiency.

Would like to join too! Just turned 40, have a 1yr old after a few years of trying and multiple miscarriages. Just started trying again this month. Have only been taking folic acid and Vit D, and haven’t changed diet or coffee/wine drinking habits as yet as we are on holiday soon so just tentatively trying, but I know how long it took us last time so am a bit concerned!

Welcome welcome @Cranberryclover Great to have you on board. Wishing you lots of luck.

Hope you'll have a lovely holiday. Fingers crossed all that relaxing will do wonders.

Hello lovely people. I just wanted to respond to the point about the statistics. Yes they make for grim reading but they are not definitive of every over 40 woman's TTC journey.

DH is almost 47 and I'm 41. We have been TTC since February.
Miscarriage at 9 weeks in March.
Chemical in April.

Today I'm 10dpo and I've done a test. I am at this stage grateful for my body and that it is trying hard for me. This cycle may also end in a loss but equally it may not. Please don't let your age or any stats dishearten you.

We can do this!!!!

@BecauseICan22 I'm so pleased for you. Really hope this cycle is the one. You make such a good point and it's definitely worth remembering. I really hope we'll all beat the odds. Do please stay on thread and keep us posted. We want lots of positives here to keep us going.

How's everyone getting on? Where are we all with our cycles? I'm currently day 5. I spoke to the GP and she advised that we DTD 2-3 times per week throughout my cycle to maximise the chances of conception. DH was delighted 😁Apparently it not only makes sure that the right bits are in the right place at the right time but also mens sperm are best when they are in a regular cycle of production so it's best not to just DTD like mad around ovulation and then not much the rest of the month. So lots of DTD month round will keep him pumping out good ones apparently.

Anyone else got any top tips?

Hi, I've just turned 40 and have an 18 month old.

Been trying for number 2 since Feb and currently in the middle of a chemical pregnancy I think..😥tests have gone negative but no bleeding yet - my first time so if anyone has been through this would welcome your experience?

It has only been 4 months but was getting worried and was so delighted when it was positive last week. I know it's so common so taking it as a positive that we can actual still conceive.

I spat my coffee out at 'pumping out good ones' - brilliant!!

I think it makes sense, a well oiled machine is always better than a rusty one 😉

DH and I do have regular sex, even before we were TTC so thankfully there's no pressure there.

I really do wish you lots of luck and love on your journey.

Hey Jalu, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I had a chemical last month and it's the most confusing thing. My tests were barely positive, very, very faint and then my period came. I believe if I hadn't have tested then I wouldn't have even logged the chemical.

How are you feeling now?

Me please!

Only recently signed up here. I'm 40 and we are trying for our first, it's our first month trying and reading here it's an absolute minefield! I have been tracking my cycles for a few years but no idea if should be tracking more etc was kind of hoping it would just happen but I know the stats aren't on our side. Crossing everything.

On day 18 of the cycle (usually 28 days). Think we may have missed the window this month, and are off for two weeks next week, so a lot easier to just wait for my period to start! If I’ve not had it whilst away, then I’ll definitely test when we get back as I’ll be late. It’s the first month of trying after a baby a year ago, so not holding out too much hope this month! Would be nice though as the last one took a while. Also had a few miscarriages before, so I can never get excited until 20 weeks!

So people recommend using OPKs? I’ve not used them before so not completely sure when I ovulate (tend to get a pain, which I imagine is ovulation pain). I do track my cycles though, don’t bother with temperature.