TTC #1 - a safe place for first timers 💖

[SFrancis1]

Hi everyone,

I thought I would make a thread for those who are trying to conceive their first child.

I love reading about everyone's journey, but sometimes I just need a space where I can talk to others who are dreaming of their first bundle of joy 💫

I am 31 and on cycle #8. My periods were classed as irregular but since having the coil removed, they seem to have settled and I now have 30-33 day cycles. I threw my OPKs in the bin this month, they were stressing me out and after DTD on my peaks but getting AF's just upset me even more. I am hoping to take a more relaxed approach from now on.

Sending love and hope to everyone on their unique journeys 💖

@LucyLoopyLu Haha, it takes me a little while to wake up in the morning, so I don't think taking my temp will be my first thought either😂

@gianaInfertilitySucks Welcome to the thread. There is no pressure to post any comments - just know that you are not alone and we are here if you need someone 💖Good luck in your journey!

@Blue2020 Welcome to the tread. Sorry to hear about your mc❤Thank you for the tip on tracking CM, I have struggled with this but I have read it can take a few cycles to realise what you are actually looking for.

Af is coming to an end for me, so onto the next cycle of DTD! All apps have been deleted and OPKs are in the bin.....I am going back to basics. I have arranged a GP appointment for a TTC catch up - just need someone to make me see sense and relax (I need a bit of a reset 😂). Has anyone told their family and friends that you are TTC? My family does not know, and I have only told 2 friends.

On the same schedule as you @SFrancis1 last day of AF yesterday, peak expected on Monday so it’s BD time!

Good luck with the GP. I’m planning to go in a couple of months if we don’t get lucky…I’ve actually told quite a few people. I’m lucky to have a lot of supportive friends who don’t constantly ask how things are going, but it’s good that they are there. I just felt, having seen so many friends keep things quiet and then have to reveal they had a miscarriage or lots of struggles later on, that I wanted to have a network around me for if things did get difficult. I think mine is an unusual decision but I’m happy with it so far.

I haven't specifically told any family or friends that we are trying now but everyone knows we want kids so I guess they know it will be now or soon. I think if it takes a while for us then I will probably talk about it with one or two people as I can't imagine it will be easy to keep everything bottled up.

If I do get pregnant though I may have to tell some people early if/when we see them, as it would be very out of character for me to turn down a glass of wine at a social occasion 🤣 unless I could arrange to be driving that day. Also I feel like I would be terrible at keeping the secret!

I have only told 2 friends we are trying. One was only because we have both just been promoted together and she announced her BFP to me a few weeks back and I felt comfortable to share my worries about falling pregnant with a new job (as she is in the same boat exactly).

I am avoiding telling family because I don't want the pressure, this way we can go at our own pace without constant questions. I am from a family of woman who have fallen pregnant on their first cycle so they tend to think its a quick thing for everyone.

I'm in the same boat as you. Be positive, these sound like good results to me. 40 is not 45. There is definitely hope and no reason to self-defeat you know?🥰 I'm in the 2WW as well, trying not to test as I would rather not get too disappointed. No symptoms but I'm full of hope and prayer🙏❤

@SFrancis1 I've told everyone 🤣 except for my in laws because my god that would be a nightmare. I find things so much easier to deal with when I can talk about them, and I don't feel any pressure to get pregnant, everyone has their own stuff going on, and I'm sure nobody's life is on hold until I get pregnant so I figured why not! Everyone has been supportive but then almost instantly disinterested, in a nice way, nobody brings it up unless I do so it's been nice to know I can talk about it if I want without feeling hassled.
I toooootally understand not wanting to tell people though, if my friends shared stories the way my mother in law does I'd be keeping my mouth firmly shut 🤣

I’ve told my close friends we are TTC and my mum. It’s such a big thing in my life, so need to talk to them about it and wouldn’t keep it from them if something went wrong, I’d need their support! But know that some people don’t like to talk about it until later on

Hi, joining in! I guess this is technically cycle 1, we're ntnp. I still track my temps though because I need to know when my period is coming haha.

I've had the weirdest cycle this month. My period was so light I took a pregnancy test even though there was almost no way for it to be positive - funny side story, I had my appendix out on CD15 last cycle and ovulated around surgery time, they said there was some blood in my pelvis and given the size of my follicle on the u/s, that's what it was.

Anyway. My temps have been super low this cycle, but then again, it is winter here. I had sore boobs and EWCM on CD11 and 12 which is early for me. I thought I was ovulating then, but temps said otherwise, I did also do OPKs out of curiosity, mainly and they were negative.
I started getting high OPKs on CD14. Today is CD17 but didn't do an OPK because I couldn't be bothered. My boobs are burning Iike heck today! They've been pretty sensitive the last couple of days.

No EWCM at all though, it's mostly creamy and sticky now, so idk what's going on. Maybe I did ov on CD 12 but it wasn't picked up, or maybe today is ov day. Ah well, all I can do is wait for my period.

Hi everyone,

Currently on cycle 2 of TTC #1.

I really thought it will happen on the first cycle, but not. Now I'm on cycle 2 and AF should arrive on a dew days, the pregnancy test that I took yesterday was negative so I'm not holding my breath.

The most hard part is receiving news from friends that they got pregnant, and not knowing when this will happen to us. It's really hard to listen to all their pregnancy stories without being pregnant. How do you deal with that? 💔

If I told my Mum we are ttc she would be a nightmare 😂 She has a lot of hope about me having children, and made a few comments in the past which unknowing to her, have stuck with me.

@Gizzy93 Welcome to the thread. Whereabouts do you live? Sounds like you have a good knowledge of what to look out for during your cycles. Good luck on your journey 💖

@LRM23 Welcome to the thread. Thank you for sharing that you find it hard when people around you announce their pregnancies. I remind myself that it will happen to me when it is meant to happen. I also remind myself the 'positives' of not having children yet - a good nights sleep 😂 eating what I want. I am sure when we all have our own children we'll be reminding ourselves of the days we took silence for granted 😂😂

@SFrancis1 I'm in Australia. There aren't a lot of active sites like this one here. I've been tracking my cycles and everything since coming off contraception about 18 months ago. I find the uterus really fascinating, as weird as that sounds 😂

@Gizzy93 haha, no that is not weird. I have enjoyed learning about myself. Schools do not teach you enough about conception.

Where is everyone else from? 🌍

@SFrancis1 I was the sex Ed teacher in my last school and even I had no idea about any of this stuff 😅

I'm from Scotland but recently moved to Ireland, so finding the whole TTC thing a bit more difficult without my mum to run and cry to whenever I feel like it! I don't really have that comfortable relationship with anyone here yet except for maybe one friend who I only see every few weeks.

I feel like they should have a tryingtobemums club, like a first time mums club but for people who are trying!

Yes, a ttc club would be good! Only one of my friends is ttc at the moment as well, but we don't talk much because we both work too much. And we live far away from each other. Her struggles are different as well, she's battling pcos.

@Drf A Sex Ed. teacher is my dream job. I am a Special Needs teacher at the moment, 14 - 19 year olds and try to be as honest as I am allowed in my RSE lessons. Are you enjoying Ireland? Where about did you move to?

@Gizzy93 Yes, a ttc club would be great. Maybe we are onto something here ladies. A new career path?? 😂

I am in England, just outside of Birmingham.

I live in Switzerland, I find this forum to be the most helpful and diverse if that makes sense; many others are a bit clique-y and kinda competitive. Not the types of people I'd like to hang around with. For example in most forum, if you ask if anyone is doing 'drink till it's pink' you'd basically get murdered.

@SFrancis1 ah really! I was special needs for about 6 years, just gave it up in February to move over here. But I was sex Ed for the whole school which was mainstream and special needs. Its difficult to know what you are and arent allowed to say isnt it!? I think the whole system needs to change because for me to make it to 31 and know so little about ttc is maaadness.

I moved over to the west coast, County clare. Beautiful part of the world! Just not got a massive support circle here so a ttc club would be ideal!😆

Hi, I'd love to join too

I started TTC for #1 in October 2020 but then took a massive chunk of time off for our wedding and we only just started properly again last month. I got what I though were two BFP on clear blue but sadly AF came a few days later.

I think I'll be on about cycle 10 of actually properly trying this month so hopefully I'll get a proper BFP soon!

It's just so hard seeing everyone else around you get pregnant so fast!

Im 32 and DH is 35

@Bundaberg84 sorry to hear other forums have not worked out for you. Glad you found this thread though 💖 fingers crossed we can be some comfort to you 😊

@Drf My family is from Limerick. What made you move to Ireland? Yes, I agree. The curriculum definitely needs reviewing if we are only learning about our bodies and ttc now at the age of 31!

@Wilf2020 Welcome to the thread. Congratulations on your wedding 💖 Sorry to hear about your BFP and AF arriving a few days later.

A question I have for people who have been trying for a while is how to let it not affect your mental health? I feel really down and kind of isolated as none of my friends are in a similar position. They all seem to have conceived within a few months. Any advice would be so helpful x

I am making sure I have 'me time'. The bathroom cupboard is stocked up with bath salts and oils. I have a massage booked this month. When I am finding things hard, I write it all down. Don't be afraid to cry too! The mental health toll is hard.....treat yourself, you deserve it. The journey is hard enough without our thoughts making it even harder for us. 💖 Feel free to reach out if you are struggling.

If you find an answer please share it with me 💗😵‍💫😔 x

@SFrancis1 oh wow that's just down the road 😃 small world! I got married a couple of months ago and my husband is from here, so we decided to settle down here!

How's everyone getting on? I'm 6dpo now, and I finally got rid of the UTI with the antibiotics but now I have a killer cold 😔 my poor body has been through the ringer! Anyone close to testing?

@Drf I am 6DPO too, hi cycle buddy x

@RMS0209 🤩🤩 exciting! When is AF due? According to my app I'm not due on until the 15th... feels like FOREVER away!