My IUI cycles might have taken the want for children out of me

[Cactizone]

Is this ridiculous? Am I being weak? Have I just spent thousands of pounds to learn that I don't want this? Or is it just that it's stressful, degrading (I find it this way personally, I hope not everyone does) and leads to obsessive compulsive, and frankly angry fretting / planning about the next cycle.
I've only done 2 and I despise the procedure itself (and dealing with all the endless calls to the perfectly nice clinic staff) so much that It's almost enough to make me throw in the towel.

Maybe because I'm stuck in the gritty reality of percentages and ratios of conceiving and so far removed from anything natural or spontaneous but it's changed my perspective. It seems pretty hopeless. Does anyone else feel this way? I don't want to keep bleeding (ha) money into this, its so expensive, but I don't want to stop either, the idea of giving up brings out a special kind of sadness and anxiety.

Maybe I'm the problem underneath it all, and have areas of mental health to work on undoubtably, but compared to the giddy excitement and trepidation and 'bring it on' vibes of starting, looking at going through the procedure of round 3 feels like signing myself up to pay a grand for people to make me feel pain for no reward.

Sorry for the bleak vibes, just needed to wring out my mind sponge.😐

Hi,

I've not been doing great the last week or so both me and my partner caught a bad flu and I'm on day 7 of is, finally got the doctor to take it seriously and I'm on antibiotics (I know they don't work for flu but it caused a sinus & chest infection) they've started to kick in so that's great. In the middle of it got my period.

On the better news got an appointment with a new and better clinic for end of September and we close on our house Next week.

How's everything going for everyone? Hope you are all well

Oh wow @RMS0209 I'm sorry to hear you've been so ill, that sounds horrible. Great news about the house but it must be a bit stressful on top of being poorly. I really hope you feel better soon.
Exciting about the new clinic! New clinic, new house, new start...go you!! But for now just concentrate on getting better, and being kind to yourself 🤗
I've got exciting news...I had my consultation yesterday, and was thinking I couldn't start until end of September, but then the kind nurses at my clinic rearranged some appointments so they can squeeze my nurse chat in tomorrow, meaning I should be able to start this cycle if my blood tests come back in time!! Yay! 🥳🥳🥳

@Totorotoes That's fantastic news so excited for you xx everything crossed for you that your blood work is ok.

I'm getting better and on holidays for 10 days next week so will be relaxing as much as possible.

@RMS0209 have a lovely break, you deserve it! Hope you feel 100% well for your time off. I'll kewp you updated with my treatment, happy to answer questions for when your time comes (if I can!) xxx

Hello! @Totorotoes
I'm not Ill that was @roro87 all is good in my little world.

What fab ness about your consultation!
Way hay... so what's the plans then? I think I'm maybe just ahead of you.. that's me finished the provera now I start injecting Menopur on Monday... scans and bloods booked for 5th and 7th Sep then hopefully it's egg retrieval time!! X

@RMS0209 and @roro87 ...argh, sorry, tag fail!! 🙈 what a numpty! So sorry. My little brain is a bit 🤯 at the moment!!
Yes @RMS0209 you are ahead of me, not long to go now for you! How are the injections going? I am starting next week, my meds are being delivered tomorrow then day one will be wed or thurs (i think) and start injections day 2-3. I've got all the theoretical dates in my diary, just hoping my body plays ball 🤞 Are you feeling ok on the meds?

@Totorotoes how are you?
well I finished the Menopur last Wed... that's me just bleeding now, so I'll be injecting tomorrow AM hopefully.. should have been monday so as usual not impressed with my body 😂 x

@RMS0209 how exciting, what are your next steps now? How did you find the injections? Did you get any side effects?
I actually did my first injections last night!! Menopur 75iu and Gonal-F 100iu. I was really nervous about mixing the menopur but was fine with the injecting. Can't believe we are both finally on this journey! 😁🤞

@Totorotoes
What a numpty....
I finished my provera last Wednesday but I have only started bleeding lightly today so I'll hopefully start my Menopur TOMORROW.

So you are a day ahead of me 😬🤞🏻 hopefully I am joining you tomorrow. My injections are Menopur 150iu x 2 a day so a low dosage which is fab.
How exciting 🎊🎉 xx

@RMS0209 you'll ace it, the menopur is fine- I was most worried about the mixing (which you may not have to do, it depends on the dose), but now I've done that it is straightforward. Do you take it at different times of the day? I take both mine at 8pm. I think my friend is same protocol as you, she is taking tablets now to bring on a bleed. Can't believe how closely we have timed this! 😁

@Totorotoes
Well I'm taking you as a good luck fairy! After messaging you.. bleeding properly started, so tomorrow I rock the Menopur 🤞🏻
Yes I need to do mixing - job for tonight, then I believe it's just kept at room temp? So no more fridge storing?
Yeah so I am taking 2 x Menopur a day 1am and 1pm, then soon I take away 1 Menopur and replace it with a fydramel or something? (I'm not at home for the proper name!)

Going to be so fantastic having somebody going through this at the exact same time! I am however... doing a freeze all cycle, what about you?! I can't remember what you said x

@RMS0209 hooray for the bleed! I love being a good luck fairy 😂 Glad you can get started. I can't believe you have a 1am injection, why can't they be 8am and 8pm that would be much easier for you!?! It'll be worth it though.
I am hopefully doing a fresh transfer but if it goes wrong I have one frozen cycle as well.
Yes the menopur can stay out of the fridge once mixed, mine is still in there though as i got paranoid about taking it out yesterday 🙈 I will put it in the cupboard tonight.
I'm off to so my injections now. It's thundering, so hopefully that doesn't make me jump as I do it 🤣

@Totorotoes that's twice in one day I have confused you... I'm getting good at this!

Horaaaah for good luck fairy 🧚‍♂️

Sorry I meant... I have 1 injection in the AM & 1 in the PM, so I am doing 7.30am and 7.30pm.

Fingers crossed for a fresh transfer for you - straight forward easy with the best results I feel it!!

That is my Menopur 1200IU made up, roll on the morning.
I've put mine into the cupboard
How did you get on with tonight's??

@RMS0209 thank goodness, those times are much more reasonable!! 🤣 Don't worry, I am easily confused anyway. Just blame the hormones! 🤪
How did it go this morning? My second lot of injections were fine, not long until my 3rd lot. I'm really strange, I actually quite like doing them. It's weird, I keep having these "oh my god I'm really doing IVF!" moments!!

@Totorotoes

Haha, I am sorry - I'm clearly in my own little world and expect everybody to know what I mean.
Yes if In doubt...blame the hormones, I actually didn't cry today.. I asked myself if I was ok 😀😅

Well... this morning, easy - delighted happy said to my partner "have you done it right it was to easy?"
Tonight.... wow, he got shouted at the pain what a sting.. that's what I expected it to be like,I think I'm maybe just a bit tender from this mornings? I don't know but WOWIE.
Not long until 3rd lot, 2nd lot for me tomorrow - still delighted how close we are.
I have my 1st scan on Wednesday to see how I am getting on, how about you? Then one on Friday.

It was tonight... as I took a deep breathe (like the videos you see on YouTube and Tik tok) and I thought... wow we are really doing this! But it made me smile. Xx

@RMS0209 my scan is on Monday, then every two days until egg collection! I'm a bit nervous in case nothing is growing in there, but hopefully all will be well.
I think you are very brave letting your partner do your injections...I would much rather be in control myself! My only symptoms so far is that my belly is a bit tender where my waistband is resting on the injection site, and having a very cuddly/over friendly cat who can smell the hormones I think! 😂xxx

@Totorotoes
brilliant, you have a good few scans sorted then.
DONT be nervous - we are being positive pollys together! We have lots of lovely growing going on inside... this IS our time 💉🥰
I'm just a woose, so I have him doing them it actually makes it a little easier. 3rd injection done.. I didn't want to fight him that much after it this morning (less sore) I definitely feel tender.. it's the weekend so I am going for "comfort" clothing now.
That must be nice to have a cuddly/over friendly cat.... my cats and dogs couldn't be any further from being interested 😂. Xxx
Hope you have some nice plans this weekend since we are being so brave.

Hope everybody else is getting on great x

@RMS0209 thank you for reminding me to be positive!😁 There must be something going on as I had a huge spot on my chin this morning, and a craving for marmite! 😂 Having a nice relaxed weekend, today is a TV day!!
Well done for being 3 injections down, how are you feeling? My clinic has an app that gives med reminders and you can tick off when they are done, which I like. Does yours have anything like that?
@roro87 how are you?
@Cactizone how are you? We miss you! Hope you have decided on a plan that works for you, or at least enjoying some down time if not!

@Totorotoes 😃
Marmite?! Goodness you must be ill 😂
Yes nice relaxing weekend here too, away for a rainy dog walk then home for a cosy house today, only 1 injection today - Menopur tonight and tomorrow I start the fyremadel in the AM and Menopur continues in the PM.

I am 4 injections down now - how brave are we 😁
Yes! So I can log onto my "portal" and my reminders come up for each day and I can tick off, I like it to... feel a like I'm in control of something ha ha.

Yes how are you @roro87 & @Cactizone hope to hear from you both soon x

Hi @Totorotoes @RMS0209 I'm good, I'm pm holiday in Barcelona for 10 days, it's quite hot but nice and relaxing. Have new clinic appointment when I get back on the 27th.

You are both doing great with your meds and injections.

@roro87 enjoy your holiday! Sounds lovely. Is your new clinic still close to where you live?

@RMS0209 I have fyremadol too but I don't start it yet, apparently they will tell me when to start that one- I don't know what it does though? First scan tomorrow morning....🤞

Hi @roro87 lucky you, I can't wait for my holiday not long to go! Hope you have a blast. Sending lots of luck for clinic app too.

@Totorotoes oooh, so I start that in the AM tomorrow and then in PM I inject my Menopur, first scan Wed 🤞🏻
The Fyremadel is basically...used to prevent premature LH surges

@Totorotoes oops sorry I wasn't finished reading, I got it from this article

ferringforfertility.co.uk/fyremadel/#

Xx

@Totorotoes New clinic is 2 hours away as was the old one but it is a satellite clinic, so they can do bloods and scans etc but can't do anything major for that I've to go 4 hours or so. However I'm going to ask a lot more hard questions this time.

Great to know about all the injections etc as that's probably my future. Best of luck both of you with your scans

@roro87 if you have any questions you forget to ask them you can ask me and @RMS0209, although not sure I am any the wiser yet one week in! 😂

@RMS0209 ah so that's what it does! I have to start taking it tonight. Scan today went really well I think, I've got 15 follicles, 8 are 12mm+ already and 7 aren't too far behind 😁🥳 They said next Monday for EC- wouldn't mind it being sooner though as that's my busiest day at work! But my eggs come first of course!