My IUI cycles might have taken the want for children out of me

[Cactizone]

Is this ridiculous? Am I being weak? Have I just spent thousands of pounds to learn that I don't want this? Or is it just that it's stressful, degrading (I find it this way personally, I hope not everyone does) and leads to obsessive compulsive, and frankly angry fretting / planning about the next cycle.
I've only done 2 and I despise the procedure itself (and dealing with all the endless calls to the perfectly nice clinic staff) so much that It's almost enough to make me throw in the towel.

Maybe because I'm stuck in the gritty reality of percentages and ratios of conceiving and so far removed from anything natural or spontaneous but it's changed my perspective. It seems pretty hopeless. Does anyone else feel this way? I don't want to keep bleeding (ha) money into this, its so expensive, but I don't want to stop either, the idea of giving up brings out a special kind of sadness and anxiety.

Maybe I'm the problem underneath it all, and have areas of mental health to work on undoubtably, but compared to the giddy excitement and trepidation and 'bring it on' vibes of starting, looking at going through the procedure of round 3 feels like signing myself up to pay a grand for people to make me feel pain for no reward.

Sorry for the bleak vibes, just needed to wring out my mind sponge.😐

@Totorotoes Thanks for the welcome. Great to have people in similar situations to talk to. hoping for IUI in August if nothing happens naturally.

@Totorotoes thank you! I’m on private so my bank account won’t thank me 😂 it would be cool if we ended up doing it at the same time!
im taking multivitamins with folic acid, it didn’t help the first time round but it’s better for the baby if it does work so I will do my best. You will be rattling after all those! They might work tho you never know!!

@roro87 🤞 things happen naturally for you, but if you need to go IUI then hopefully you will have a smooth time of it!

hopefully I'm not sure even what the plan is re natural iui or medicated one as there has been no mention of anything.

@roro87 Hmm not knowing is no fun, but they should lay it all out for you at the start of the cycle id expect

@roro87 it will be really good to hear how you get on with IUI, it definitely can work first time...I think it is just a case of getting a good egg and a sprinkle of luck!
@Cactizone yes we may go through it together! It's a shame you can't get treatment on the NHS, i didn't think I would but my GP has been brilliant. It's still not 100% though as has to go through final approval, I think if I dont get it I will still perhaps do IVF rather than IUI again. Have you heard of Access Fertility (i think??), they do finance packages that work out cheaper- only work with some clinics though i think.

Hello!

Hope you all had a lovely weekend 🙂

This is exciting @Totorotoes I'm excited for you and have everything crossed for funding.
Excited to hear how you get on with the IVF plan and be nice to have somebody to ask my million questions to if I go for it too @Cactizone pst this includes you too 😂

I have been reading about the access fertility - it had good reviews

How did your GP appt go today @RMS0209 ?

@Totorotoes I’m just glad the NHS are able to help out some people, it’s brutal out there! But I’ve made my peace (more or less) with paying people to get up close and personal I guess 😅 I will surely be glad when it’s all over tho!

@RMS0209 I got ya 😘 and thank you! How did the appointment go?

Hey both! @Cactizone @Totorotoes
How are we today?
Holiday mode is officially started..
Good news, after some "debating" with my GP he has said he will write a referral to the NHS clinic (the local one to me) so I am delighted, hopefully they don't try fob me off... I think he was impressed with how much researching I had done 😅 hopefully it pays off.
Anything new with you both? All ok? X

@RMS0209 that’s great news! Nothing new for me atm

Have a lovely holiday 🙂

@roro87 thank you!

signing offf for a few days ladies off to eat lots of food and get a nice tan, speak early next week take care xx

How are we all? X
@Cactizone @Totorotoes @roro87

Hi,

How was your holiday?

Ovulated yesterday in last cycle before IUI so crossing my fingers and toes.

Also in the process of buying a new house so a lot going on.

@roro87 that is a lot! Fingers crossed for this cycle tho!

@RMS0209 I’m looking at a new job so have paused things until I see how the interview goes in case things go well!

@Cactizone Best of luck in the new job, I hope you get it.

Just found out that here any reference to fertility treatment or babies on your bank statements can go against you for a mortgage. Now I'm really worried

Hello everyone!
@RMS0209 how was your break?? Hope you are feeling relaxed!
@Cactizone good luck with the job! Is it something different to what you have done before, or in the same field? V exciting! Hopefully good maternity benefits too?
@roro87 oh i didn't know that could affect mortgage applications? I'm not sure that can be legal though, isn't it discrimination? I bought last year and tbh I doubt they even looked at my bank statements, they certainly didn't question anything and didn't care how much I spent or saved....or 'invested' in Just Eat🤣🤷‍♀️

I've had a bit of a break from here, my parents have been unwell and I've been a bit busy with that. Although I'm in a waiting stage I have been tracking ovulation and am on CD23 without ovulating!! I've been regular for a while and should have ovulated yesterday at the very latest, but...nothing. I wonder if it is stress? Or my body just knows I am planning something for it soon and is protesting 😂

Hi!
@roro87 thanks for asking, my holiday was fab! just the break from reality I needed
trying to take a more "relaxed" approach this month, cycle day 19 and not using my OPK's... not yet.
Sending you all the luck for this cycle before IUI though. How you feeling?
I didn't know that regarding fertility treated ent and statements... can you try pay cash?

@Cactizone great news... also sending you lots of luck, but for smashing that interview and a new job!💪🏻❤️

@Totorotoes helloooo... the social media break is sometimes needed isn't it!
Sorry to hear your parents are unwell... hope they are ok the mend pronto.
I wouldn't worry ovulation wise too much, I ovulated cycle day 26 2 months ago and cycle day 25... (confirmed by blood tests!maybe just a little delayed month) try do something nice for you this weekend
Do you know... cycle day 19 today and I've not peed on any sticks yet... feel like a new woman 😅 I say this but I'll start later today I bet x

Yes I'm in Ireland and they are very strict here, like a doctor I know was questioned on how much she spent on Costa coffees. I have also been questioned about transactions.
I will be paying in cash from now on or on Adrian's credit card as they can't see that easily.

I'm 3 dpo and on CD 23. Feeling the same as normal. All i did differently this month was acupuncture and 5mg of Folic Acid.

I hear you about a much needed break.

@Totorotoes I hope your parents get well soon.

Thank you all for the job luck! It’s in a similar field but a step up, which would certainly help with any potential child bills!

@Totorotoes I feel stress can defo have a big impact! I blame stress for my last round not working out, I hope your parents recover soon!

@RMS0209 did you have a good holiday?

@roro87 that’s crazy that they look into things that closely! I wouldn’t stand a chance with all the take out I get 😅 I’ve heard great things about acupuncture, was it painful at all though? I have a needle dislike

@Cactizone @roro87 @RMS0209 thank you for your kind words, unfortunately both my parents have long term conditions and are getting older, so we lurch from one crisis to the next with brief moments of calm in between! I don't actually feel too stressed, but obviously the stress has gone straight to my ovaries 🤣
Day 25 and still nothing!! I hope I miss ovulation and get AF at normal time, or else I have such a long cycle I don't get AF til August....I don't want it to muck up my schedule!!
Interestingly I have started taking CoQ10 and flaxseed oil and I have so much more energy!!
@RMS0209 good luck with not peeing on a stick....let's see how long you last! 😂 I like to see it as vital 'research' for future months!

Cycle Day 28 in the Big Brother house.....@Totorotoes has finally got peak on OPKs 🤦‍♀️

Hellooo!
'
@Totorotoes you are joking.. cycle day 28... I might be following you I am cycle day 24 today and my temps are not near ovulation... why do our bodies do this to us! X

@RMS0209 sadly not a joke!! In fact according to this morning's temp, I may have peaked yesterday but didn't ovulate yet as they are still low! 🤦‍♀️ Don't know if it's stress, or because I started CoQ10, or if my body just wants to delay my plans!! Sounds like you aren't far behind me though, long cycles ahoy! 🥴