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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Trying to Conceive over 40 part 3

1000 replies

October1979 · 24/04/2022 15:53

Here is a new thread for us all. As it will run out at 1000 comments

OP posts:
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54
99pctpractice · 22/11/2022 12:38

Thanks @Kelb79 I had a scan and they found a heartbeat 💗 I'm slightly in shock because there was so much red blood and the cramping was really bad, so I thought it was a foregone conclusion. but the baby was measuring exactly what it should so I feel incredulous but reassured. Hoping it continues moving in the right direction....but this was definitely a reminder that the anxiety doesn't end with a positive test...

Hope the counselling goes well next week and your oh comes round!

newname2022 · 22/11/2022 13:22

Hi @October1979 I tried to message you directly but couldn't figure out how to do it from phone.
Firstly I have absolutely everything crossed for you for a safe and happy pregnancy. I've been following this thread for a while and I'm so happy for you!
But I did notice some personal info was visible on the pics that you uploaded...just in case you wanted to remove them!

October1979 · 22/11/2022 21:41

Thanks for the heads up @newname2022 but not sure I can edit it off.

OP posts:
October1979 · 22/11/2022 21:42

I'm delighted for you @99pctpractice ❤️ Great news. How far along are you now? Xx

OP posts:
Kelb79 · 22/11/2022 21:57

@99pctpractice oh thank god!!!!! 😁😁😁 I know how terrified you must be, bleeding just feels so wrong and can so often be a sign of things going wrong, it’s so so tough to have faith in that moment. But I’m so f’ing pleased for you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

PP82 · 23/11/2022 10:38

Hi everyone! I'm 40, soon to be 41 and just started TTC this month. Would be first baby for both me and DH, and I have never been pregnant before (or tried.) Feeling excited but also a little scared and overwhelmed.

Marvellouslymadmum · 23/11/2022 11:24

@TraceyTarotReader it is an awful thing, every time my oh has any kind of pain he's off thinking it's something awful! He's passed it on to one of his sons as well unfortunately, I think hereditary rather than learning from him but who knows! Yes keep me updated

@October1979 I'm guessing you posted a scan picture and I missed it 🤦🏼‍♀️ glad everything is going well though!

@Kelb79 how are you getting on with the oh is he budging on any of it yet? Have you tried showing him pages with testimonials from people who have had de babies maybe? Especially ones that have pics too so he can see how alike they can be with the epigenetics.

@99pctpractice im so pleased everything is ok for you! This ttc journey really does make you worry about everything so much more!!

@PP82 hi and welcome! Good luck! 🤞🏻

TraceyTarotReader · 23/11/2022 11:49
  • *@Marvellouslymadmum awwwwww it’s awful both my daughters suffer from anxiety and I don’t help with my health anxiety but do try and keep it to myself . Well no sign of ovulation on my chart infact looks like my temps are way to low this month my tests are still showing shadows so those tests I did on cd 17 must have been faulty bc it would show a more obvious line now how are you doing what’s happening with you x
Marvellouslymadmum · 23/11/2022 12:53

@TraceyTarotReader that's what he tries to do and it helps that he's very good at talking his son down from it when he's having an anxiety attack.
I think my month sounds similar to yours though ovulating later rather than early! My temps are too low but I definitely got a good peak so I've just given up now, no more tests or temps this month I'll just wait for af and start again 🤷🏼‍♀️ it was probably all messed up because I wasn't well. I've added my opk for this month, lots of high's but a definite peak. Who knows what's going on!

Trying to Conceive over 40 part 3
Trying to Conceive over 40 part 3
YellowLoafers · 23/11/2022 14:40

@99pctpractice phew!! So relieved for you and really pleased!

@PP82 welcome 👋

TraceyTarotReader · 23/11/2022 15:00

@Marvellouslymadmum you definitely had plenty highs and peaks so you may have definitely ovulated 🤞 for you I thought that this morning when I took my temp it was low again and I thought should I even bother now and just wait for af I’m confused about this month I’ve no more opks but I will temp cause I’m curious to see how low they will go before af comes when’s your af due ? X

Kelb79 · 24/11/2022 12:45

@Marvellouslymadmum OH swings between opinions! He’s driving me mad!!! We’ve got an appointment with the counsellor on Monday so hopefully we can start getting him working through it all 😐 the waiting is killing me!!!

@99pctpractice how are you now?? Has the bleeding stopped? 🙏🏼🙏🏼 try to stay calm and positive chick ❤️❤️❤️

@PP82 welcome lovely! And good luck!!! ❤️🙏🏼 if I could give you any advice (and I hope you don’t mind) it is to be aware of how difficult it really can be after 40. You might be lucky and I really hope you are but with hindsight (we started trying just before my 40th, we met when I was 38 too ☺️) I would have been more on top of my ovulation straight away and I wouldn’t have waited so long to start fertility testing. We wasted a lot of time hoping it would just happen, we didn’t want to get too hung up on it all. But I feel that we left it too late (we have just friend 3 rounds of IVF to be told that the chances with my eggs are very low).
Read the book - “the sperm meets egg” by Deanna Roy and start tracking you cycles. Be on it 👌🏼 If things don’t happen after 6 months get an appointment for tests 👌🏼👍🏼
we’re here all the way for anything you need ❤️❤️

99pctpractice · 24/11/2022 12:58

Thanks @Kelb79 @October1979 @YellowLoafers taking it each day as it comes but no more bleeding so fingers crossed the hematoma has bunged itself up for now. Going for another scan tomorrow because I'm still paranoid! I'm 6 weeks 3 days so it's still a long way to go....

PP82 · 28/11/2022 12:14

@YellowLoafers @Marvellouslymadmum @Kelb79 Thank you!

@Kelb79 I don't mind at all! Very grateful for any advice. AF came yesterday, a day early (still getting to grips with all the terminology!) Of course I didn't expect to get pregnant the first month of trying, especially as it was a bit of a half hearted try, but still feel a little deflated. Met DH at 37 and talked about wanting children quite early on but for various reasons it just really didn't seem like the right time to try until now. To be honest the circumstances still don't feel 100% right, but I just don't feel I can wait any longer. Basically work, finances and global events just kept conspiring against us. We work in an industry where short term contracts and moving around a lot are pretty standard. We have moved four times in the last 3 years, including internationally. We undertook another big move over the summer and agreed once we were settled in our new home/jobs we would finally start. Also wanted to implement various lifestyle changes etc including some of the stuff from 'It Starts With the Egg' before trying. But in the end by October we didn't feel settled and hadn't made the changes, and when the Glow app sent me a notification that my fertile window was beginning this month, I thought nope, still not ready. Then when I got a notification that it was my ovulation day I panicked about my upcoming 41st birthday and we DTD 3 times in 24 hours but of course the app isn't the most reliable way of tracking and we didn't try enough to give ourselves a good shot even without accounting for my age.

Since the day we started trying I have been taking a pregnancy supplement, and DH is taking a daily multivitamin. We've stopped drinking and cut right down on caffeine. Want to cut it out altogether but it's so hard! Working towards that. Generally we eat healthy meals but often indulge in sugary treats or just use them for energy boosts, and we eat out/order in a fair bit. We are both overweight so need to work on that, and start exercising regularly again. Have also been taking steps to reduce exposure to BPA and phthalates for a couple of months now. Since AF came yesterday I have ordered ovulation sticks, CoQ10 and Omega 3 supplements which will arrive Wednesday. I think we are both going to take both of them, but 'It Starts With the Egg' says only Omega 3 from dietary sources is really effective for women, and I do eat a lot of fish, seeds and nuts (am careful about mercury though) so I don't know if only DH should take the supplement and I shouldn't bother? Also confused about vitamin D. The book says only to supplement if you are deficient. I have just moved from a very hot, sunny place to somewhere much less so. So should I supplement to be on the safe side, or get tested first? Any input greatly appreciated. There is so much to get to grips with and it's all so overwhelming. Is there anything else I should be doing at this early stage that I'm missing?

I think we are going to try for 6 months before starting to get tested etc, but I've read that after 40 you should really only leave it 3 months. We've said in principle that we'd rather try naturally for longer and then go straight to DE if necessary than try with my own eggs after 40, but that's really only a decision you can properly make after talking to a doctor, having tests etc I guess. We are lucky in that we live somewhere where fertility treatment is much more affordable than the UK. Also DH is younger (early 30s) so I'm hoping this may count in our favour.

Sorry for the essay, just nice to talk about it all with people in the same boat and get any input from those that have been on this journey longer than me!

YellowLoafers · 28/11/2022 20:05

@PP82 Sounds like you’re doing great prep work! There’ll be someone along in a bit who’s way more up in the supplements world than me, but I wanted to add that I’m also overweight. Because of this and my age, my fertility consultant recommended folic acid 5mg. This strength is only available on prescription so it may be worth seeing your GP to explain you’re TTC and asking for the higher strength folic acid. The clinic also recommended vit d so I take that. I also take Ubiquinol, naturelo brand prenatal vitamins and proceive omega 3 fish oils. HTH and good luck 🤞 x

Marvellouslymadmum · 30/11/2022 21:30

@TraceyTarotReader well my af was due Sunday, however it has not arrived! I tested yesterday even though I knew there was no point and I was right - stark white negetive again 🙄 so looks like I probably didn't ovulate after all 🤷🏼‍♀️ how are you getting on?

@Kelb79 how did the counselling go? Any luck with oh?

@99pctpractice hope the scan went ok for you

@PP82 sounds like you've got off to a good start and have a good plan!

TraceyTarotReader · 01/12/2022 07:27

Hey @Marvellouslymadmum sorry for the negative test but there is still time for a positive test I didn’t show positive with my 3rd till I was 7 weeks along …

as for me no sign of ovulation on my chart either temp went down a bit but I’m not sure what my cover line is so I dunno what’s going on with that this month had af pains for the last 2 days this mornings not to bad af due today or tomorrow .

tests are seemingly a little darker with the shadows but not a obvious pink so I think it’s just the tests don’t want to buy a expensive one cause I don’t wanna waste money I normally get really tender boobs when af is approaching but I’ve had none of that maybe I’ll have a good month with no symptoms lol .

it’s doing my head in not having evidence of wether I am or not Carnt go off my chart cause that’s f**d up this month so I’m just going to have to wait x

Marvellouslymadmum · 02/12/2022 14:47

@TraceyTarotReader to be honest I think it's more likely that I didn't ovulate even though my body obviously tried! Still no af here 🙄

TraceyTarotReader · 02/12/2022 17:57

@Marvellouslymadmum im the same no sign of ovulation my temp went up a bit today but I still have a feeling I actually did ovulate it’s just not showing on my chart … af was supposed to be here yesterday or today no sign of that I’m still getting shadows on the tests I brought a different brand thinking it may be my tests from e bay but the same line came up so I’m a little puzzled the only thing I can do is wait it’s so frustrating isn’t it have you tested x

Marvellouslymadmum · 03/12/2022 02:18

@TraceyTarotReader it's incredibly frustrating! I tested just once on Tuesday which was the same stark white I always get these days 🙄 I think it's just a waiting game for af to turn up so I can reset and start again x

TraceyTarotReader · 03/12/2022 07:32

@Marvellouslymadmum i give up I do it’s really getting to me now I have never had no symptoms of af not coming I always have tender boobs and cramping at least 5/7 days before it comes … I have no tender boobs I have been crampy for the last 4 days on and off mostly in the morning and feeling sick and headachy . NO BFP and have no idea how many dpo I am cause stupid ff hasn’t noted it … but if I put it on opk monitor I’m 16 dpo I did a clear blue line test this morning along with 2 cheap ones nothing on the clear blue and shadows again on the 2 cheapy ones why we put ourselfs through this I will never know I’m getting to the point where I just want af to come least I’ll know … sorry for the rant ❤️

do you know how many dpo you are ?

Marvellouslymadmum · 03/12/2022 22:22

@TraceyTarotReader to be honest if it wasn't for the fact I've been through this a few times now I would feel the same as you!
Well if I did ovulate when I and the premom app thought then I'm 20dpo so I either didn't ovulate then (most likely scenario) or I am pregnant (very least likely scenario) 🤷🏼‍♀️

TraceyTarotReader · 04/12/2022 07:20

@Marvellouslymadmum im exactly the same I’m still getting a shadow on the early one step hpt I’ve emailed them saying there tests are shit my daughter brought these tests and she was nearly 5 wks pregnant when a obvious line appeared I should have learned really but there cheap I’ll post the tests and the lines I keep getting so frustrating….. I’m cd 32 today longest I’ve been for a while I keep saying to my husband what if menopause has started would my af just stop Like that 😳 I have af cramps this morning I’m going shopping with my daughter so I’m hoping that promts af to come well I don’t but you get me .

im really hoping you are pregnant I’m testing all day and still getting stupid lines yesterday I felt so sick I could have actually vomited today isn’t so bad my temp is the same as yesterday but that makes no difference cause I don’t even know where my cover line is this month 🙄 anyway here’s the lines on my tests x

Trying to Conceive over 40 part 3
Trying to Conceive over 40 part 3
Trying to Conceive over 40 part 3
Marvellouslymadmum · 04/12/2022 14:35

@TraceyTarotReader I'm totally useless at looking at tests to be honest! I do see your shadows though! More than I've got lol I've felt sick on and off too and have sore boobs on and off but I've stopped temping so no idea what my temp is! I may test tomorrow as I'll be a week late then and haven't taken one since last Tuesday, hope you have a nice shopping trip x

TraceyTarotReader · 04/12/2022 17:26

@Marvellouslymadmum hahaaaa I think I see lines now that ain’t actually there now it’s doing my head in well I did my shopping trip and thought af had started good job I put a pad on to go out with but nope nothing I still have dull
cramping and feel a bit sick now and then I’m 4 days late today or maybe 3 but I late either way ..

see now I haven’t had any tender boobs at all not even to the lead up to af well when it’s supposed to come and I still haven’t now just the dull
af type pain and it’s only there when I lay down didn’t have it at all walking round doing shopping.

you will have to let me know when you test I did another one when I got back and still pulling a shadow different brand as well surly they all Carnt have shadows 🙄x

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