Trying to Conceive over 40 part 3

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us all. As it will run out at 1000 comments

Thank you guys for replying. I got the bloods that I could at the GP and looked normal. Haven't had the pg21 yet as my cycle differs. Usually 27 days but can be 25 - 28. I do appear to be ovulating. I would absolutely be keen to get all the help and answers I could but my partner definitely wouldn't. Tbh, he needed convinced to try at all. He's on board if it happens but I don't want to pressure him and scare him into withdrawing any input 😂.

@ShonaMit hi and welcome, it's difficult when your partner is like that, mine was at first but he's better now as it's been so long! He's much more helpful and did go for an sa though he hated it. We all feel like time is running out but doing what you're doing, along with healthy eating, good supplements etc will all help. Good luck

@TraceyTarotReader if the tests were that long ago you could get more done if you wanted to, you could also be asked to be referred for Recurrent miscarriages too as it could be a progesterone issue.

@Kelb79 I think we all do that, let's just see what happens bit first and regret it! 🙄 why doesn't someone say - you're a little older than what's ideal, so let's get you in for tests, these are you chances and these are the options, it would be so much better and less stressful!!

@Marvellouslymadmum i don’t think dh would now it’s been a long 18 years and if there was no reason then the only reason would be my eggs now and although I wish every month I could be pregnant it never happens and I know my body tries cause I had faint lines this month and I know when your older you have a small amount of hcg but this never happens every month so I really think I had a cp this month Thankyou for your advice but I just have to plod on and hope for the best x

@TraceyTarotReader I totally understand what you mean, I just thought things do change over time so it may be worth checking. I myself have two teens (16 & almost 18) from my previous relationship and got pregnant so easily with those, and when I had a mc 5 years ago we were on contraception at the time so I thought, hey it shouldn't take long when we started trying a year later / famous last words as we've had not a sniff in the last 4.5 years since!! Well as far as I know anyway, I don't test early or every month only if I'm late or there's a reason to do I may have had cp but I feel it's unlikely. I do now have adenomyosis and possible endometriosis too which is probably not helping our situation! X

@99pctpractice I have been bleeding every couple of days since 5 weeks. It was a hematoma. Still bleeding brown to this day. It is more common in ivf pregnancies. Try not to worry. Get your blood drawn and if HCG numbers keep doubling you will be fine. Keeping everything crossed xxx

@Marvellouslymadmum i know what you mean and sometimes I do wish dh would go for testing again but it’s so stressful and yes when we get older things change I haven’t had a full positive hpt in 10 yrs but like you said it can happen to people my age .

So sorry for your loss it’s heartbreaking x
lovely ages your kids mine are all girls 29 , 23 , and 20 December I have 2 grandchildren girl and boy by my middle daughter 23 and I had the pleasure of seeing them both come into the world it was amazing even though I’ve done it 3 times it’s totally different when you actually see what you go through my bond with my grandchildren are out of this world I love them so much .x

i have fibroids but the gyno said there not in the way of conceiving I also had a scan on my ovaries in July last year to check for cysts I have none and he reported my ovaries were clear and normal size for my age so I was happy about that.

@TraceyTarotReader that's the trouble isn't it, the stress can outweigh the good! That sounds lovely with your girls and grandchildren, I've told my two and my partners two boys that I don't want to be a grandma just yet thanks but I know I will absolutely love it when I am! In all of my scans they've never been able to see my ovaries! they're always off on a wander somewhere and I suspect they are stuck out if the way with endo, having another scan with the gynae department on 19th so hoping they'll decide to do a laparoscopy for the endo then and excise what they can to give us a better chance

@Marvellouslymadmum oh it is lovely you will feel so different when you hold your first grandchild. I had the scan on my ovaries because I went to the doctors with bloating I have IBS to and she said I want to check your ovaries because bloat can be a sign of cancer so here I am shitting myself until I get this scan but all was good .

I really hope you get some answers and a plan to go forward not long to wait now keep me posted x

Hi everyone! Just wondering what tests you have all had. I have been booked in for 'blood tests' in a couple of weeks, but the receptionist making the booking didn't know what tests were to be done, and wasn't sure the nurse taking the blood would know either! I've asked her to get my GP to confirm before the appointment, but just wondered what they might be looking at?
Background: I'm 45, with 3 older children, but 2 mmc more recently.

Hello everyone

@lizziecat1 not sure what they might do, but I suspect amh as a minimum. Amh is an indicator of your ovarian reserve. If it isn't scheduled for a particular day of your period then prob not fsh (which they use as an indicator of menopause).

@October1979 I had my bloods done today (they let me have them done a day before otd) and my hcg is 439, which I think is ok for 4 weeks. I'm deliberating over getting a second one done in 48 hrs. What do you think? The initial level is ok, and I feel like it will only tell me if it's moving in the right direction on Friday, and everything could change after that anyway. They're going to book me in for a scan at 7 weeks, but they calculate it from the date of transfer which means it won't be until about 7 Dec, which feels forever away, so I'll probably get a scan with someone else in a couple of weeks time!! How are you getting on? Do you get more frequent scans/monitoring because it's a triplet pregnancy?

@99pctpractice they sound good numbers. I got HCG done Tues/ Fri week 4 and week 5 then a private scan just over 6 weeks. The numbers growing settled my nerves and helped me cope with the wait until the scan. My gp did them for me - but I had to pled my case. So no cost. I think getting a second lot of bloods would be good for confidence. But entirely up to you xxx

@99pctpractice I'm ok. They are going to scan/ check me every 2 weeks xx

@TraceyTarotReader I bet it is different!! Oh really? I've been scanned twice now and both times they said I had excess bowel gas and they couldn't see anything! 🤦🏼‍♀️ then one went on a mission to find my ovaries as they were trying to do my afc and just about saw one right up and back where it shouldn't be but she couldn't see enough still to count anything!

@lizziecat1 I've had full blood count, day 3, for fsh and lh, day 21 for
Progesterone, amh, tsh, think that's everything! But the amh wasn't gp had to wait for fertility for that one, it's different in different areas though

@99pctpractice I think that is a good number and yes I'd be tempted for another in 48 hours too! So pleased it's going well so far!

That's a lot if scans @October1979 but good so you know what's going on! My youngest sister is pregnant with her 4th and has gestational diabetes so is being scanned once a month with a singleton as baby is larger than it should be

@Marvellouslymadmum oh you make me smile went on a mission lol I do remember saying that when she scanned my ovaries reporting that I was fully loaded basically full of shit 😂 I’m like well yeah I have IBS AND CARNT SHIT lmao …

on another note I did an opk this afternoon and I’m nearly positive I think tomorrow will be positive and it’s early ovulation again that’s twice this year and I’m cd 8 good job I checked but no humping tonight I’m to knackerd lol x

@TraceyTarotReader haha yeah she was prodding and poking around looking for them! Lol they must see some sites!

I'm not entirely sure what's going on with my ovulation - I've had pIns on both sides and fairly high tests for a few days but no temp rise yet and we've not dtd for a few days as we both have such a stinking cold! I'm going to try and get jiggy with it tonight if he's up for it though cos I don't want to miss it completely! 🤦🏼‍♀️ 8dpo is early but happens to me sometimes too

Hello ladies, I am 46 and trying to conceive (I have two boys whom I had in my twenties). This morning I tested, but stupidity- in the fog of morning brain- I peed on a used test but on review of test I see a partial pink line. What do you think- is it possible I turned an old BFN into a tiny wee positive?

@Marvellouslymadmum hahaaa awwww sorry you have a cold I have one to it’s that time of year again I’m just getting over my second bout of covid thankfully not as bad as last time but has left me with a cough and shortness of breath especially when I’m walking …. Well I’m sure I’m ovulating really early this month I’ve had 3 high temps when I put a fake temp in for next day it says cd 8 Ive ovulated twice this has happened now I don’t normally start testing my Lh till about cd 12 but something told me to do it early it’s nearly positive so will see what it is later today

hope you feel better soon x

@Phyrefly im seeing a little something but these tests are terrible for lines unless it’s pinging at you but I do see something hope it gets darker for you x

@Phyrefly I see something but try again with a new test for clarity. Hoping it turns pink for you.
I’m not testing for ovulation (it makes me stressed!) but my cycles are 28 days and my Apple health app says my fertile week is this week. I had egg white cervical mucus yesterday which must be a good sign. Also we’ve booked a holiday in August so getting pregnant now would probably cause some issues with that - so I am hopeful this month 😂

Morning all! Happy weekend! Hope you’re all doing good ❤️

I’ve been hit by the lurgy and feeling rough as rats!!
also in my first TWW after the last 6 months of IVF rubbish! Forgot what this feels like 🤣
not holding out hope - why would it suddenly happen now?! 🤷🏼‍♀️ And we didn’t try too hard….
OH has had a mega wobble about the donor egg route 😐 and abut even having a baby at all 🤦🏼‍♀️ Ffs!!
he’s overthought himself into a massive hole!

I had got to the point of knowing I was ok about it and actually feeling positive and wanting to go for it.
he now wants us to have counselling. I think he wants someone else to tell us what to do but no counsellor will do that 🤷🏼‍♀️
we’ve got an appointment with our original NHS fertility consultant next week but im sooooo frustrated at having the brakes put on this again 😐😐😐

@Phyrefly fingers crossed you get your second line.
Hope everyone with colds get better soon. There is nothing worse than TTC when you feel awful!! You all have my sympathies.
@Kelb79 my OH threw himself into TTC in the hope we wouldn't need to go through the process. He had a wobble but speaking to the doctor helped settle his mind and get back on board. Also listening to me and why I wanted to do it helped him. Good luck next week at your appointment. It won't take long once you decide to go for it so don't worry about time. It's much more important for you both to be on the same page. It will make it better in the long run xxx

@Kelb79 he might just need time to process things as you embark on the next stage of the journey.

@Kelb79 I had a few of those moments of panic and uncertainty in the run up, so I sympathise with your oh even though I know it's seriously frustrating for you to have another hold up!! As long as you can keep talking through it, you'll end up in the right place. I don't think it's a bad idea to do counselling - I had a session the other day and it was super helpful. She talked me through some of the things that were worrying me and i found it reassuring - esp some of the stuff around terminology, she was really firm on the donor not being the "biological mother" and I think that's something I had had in the back of my mind, that question over "motherhood" of a donor conceived child. She also gave me loads of reference links - I've copied them below in case helpful. My oh isn't interested in counselling because his view is basically that all that matters is that any baby we're lucky to have will be loved. Which I get, but for me I think it is a bit more complicated (it's still his sperm that have been used in the process, so there's no question of his parenthood of the child) and I also am thinking a bit further ahead to teenager/adulthood.

https://www.dcnetwork.org//_
https://fertilitynetworkuk.org/pregnancy-after-infertility-group//_
https://www.hfea.gov.uk/donation/donor-conceived-people-and-their-parents/donor-sibling-link-dsl//_
https://donorsiblingregistry.com//_
Epigenetics: Can IVF Affect Your Baby’s Genes? | Your IVF Journeyy_
Can donor egg recipients 'pass on DNA' to their children? (progress.org.uk))_
Have you heard about EPIGENETICS?: Center for Human Reproduction: Infertility Specialistss_

e_

@Phyrefly I can see something but it is difficult with these tests as others say

@TraceyTarotReader yeah my cold is now a chest infection 🙄 but hey ho, nevermind! I've been lucky enough to escape covid so far which I'm glad of as I have bad asthma. Our bodies love playing tricks on us don't they?! I've now had 3 Lh surges with the latest one being today with the highest reading - this is not the first time it has happened to me, probably every third cycle I get this. I've been having a read up and apparently it is quite common in some and some people actually ovulate an egg each time! Who knew?!

@Kelb79 seems like we've all got the lurgy at the minute!! It's definitely played havoc with our baby dancing. I'm sorry your oh is having a wobble, hopefully he will rethink and feel a lot better about things.

@99pctpractice thank you for the links I'm going to have a browse through those, the terminology thing is interesting too because you do think of the donor as the 'biological mother' but in actual fact when thinking it through properly, they're not!! A biological mother is when someone gives birth and has the baby adopted I'm guessing?! The donor is just the donor and you're the carrying mother (this would be my guess on the terminology without reading anything yet anyway) and I like that there's no 'other mother' too!

@Marvellouslymadmum arrrh I hate chest infections glad your cold is getting better drink plenty of fluids and eat little and often .

well my temp dipped a bit this morning but I’ve also had three readings on my LH but it said yesterdays was positive I don’t trust it so I’m gunna do another one today and see if it’s lighter then I’ll take yesterdays reading as positive.

oh I didn’t know that about the ovulation and egg new to me .

im feeling out already this month cause my ovulation seems to have come early and they say early ovulation isn’t good bc your lining hasn’t had time to thicken and make implantation safe for the embryo but I’ve also know women who have got pregnant as soon as there af finished my sister been one of them I don’t think they know really what goes on and what actually happens unless we could see ourselves it’s all about luck .

I still have my cold and bit of a cough my heads been achy for a couple of days my grandchildren have had it and now my daughter has it viral infection are the worst x

Hi @Marvellouslymadmum, yes, I think that's what she was getting at. The donor is not considered a "mother" it's a donor, and the carrier is considered the biological mother. It's a bit weird because it obviously works differently in surrogacy....

Sorry everyone is poorly! We've had a bug in our house as well - hoping it's short lived (and relieved it's not covid....)!