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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

9 months+ trying to conceive, still losing hope, still trying

997 replies

BritInNZ · 27/01/2022 19:44

Continuing the earlier thread ladies before we run out of room... will tag in who I remember but feel free to tag others I may have missed. And newbies always welcome!

@Aubyone - pregnant! Adding in case she wants to keep in the loop 😊
@kmbegs
@FlyOnTheWall89
@Hopefullywaiting01234
@Tinkerbell098
@LucyAnne34
@MaryTeenOfScots

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
Carla2601 · 31/03/2022 17:59

@Hoping43 @LucyAnne34 I think it’s fairly binary - so if there’s an issue it’s clear to them and it flags on bloods. There’s numbers that aren’t perfect and might explain it taking slightly more than one or two months but if it’s the reason and it’s a real problem they will tell you. Information at your finger tips can be good and bad can’t it!! I’m terrible for googling, and you’ll always find a study/person/info to both prove and disprove what you were looking for!

Hoping43 · 31/03/2022 18:05

@Carla2601 yes I really feel like I need to trust the experts. But in the back of my mind is… it’s still not happening, it’s still not happening.

Have you had egg collection yet? X

Carla2601 · 31/03/2022 19:11

@Hoping43 no it’ll be next week - hoping for confirmation on a day tomorrow but might be Monday for weds or Thursday….I’ll let you all know.

I get it and I do the same so I’m not saying I’ve achieved it….more we should all try to despite the temptation 😂

Original poster
BritInNZ · 01/04/2022 04:54

Eurgh a girl at work just announced her pregnancy and I feel terrible now 😭 she got married literally two weekends ago so I was gearing myself up for an announcement in a few months, not literally two weeks after her wedding! God it's like a punch to the guts isn't it? I just don't understand how it's so easy for some people and impossible for me 😭😭

OP posts:
FlyOnTheWall89 · 01/04/2022 06:33

@BritInNZ urgh that sucks. Honestly it is the worst and I feel your sadness. I feel a bit bitter about it now, which is terrible... but then when someone on here gets their BFP, I'm thrilled so I need to confront these confusing emotions. My cousin announced a few weeks ago... pretty much bang on 12 weeks post wedding. I don't get it either and it's frankly so unfair. I guess the only thing to say is maybe they'd been trying before their wedding - lots of people do, so maybe it wasn't immediate, maybe there were some months of waiting.

I follow Annie Clarke on Insta and she just announced she is pregnant but gave the whole back story about IVF and their unexplained infertility. It really helps when I see the backstory to a pregnancy, not just the announcement. Big hugs - I know it is shit. Xxx

NatW2021 · 01/04/2022 07:28

@BritInNZ - oh god its just horrible isnt it?? Sometimes i feel strong and other days it just knocks you off your feet! I was the same a few weeks back at that christening i couldn't hold the tears back.

I am trying to focus on my holiday now - if I'm not pregnant this cycle (which i hugely doubt i am) then we are booking for last two weeks in May, i am desperate for it! Then I'm going to book further tests as it will be 12 months.

Carla2601 · 01/04/2022 07:46

@BritInNZ oh I’m sorry. It’s so hard because it’s normally news that would make you happy so it’s not only making you sad it’s stealing a bit of who you are too (or that’s how I feel). A guy I’m really close to at work told me his wife is pregnant and that was exactly 12 weeks post wedding and it feels so unfair. Sending hugs x

lilrosemarie · 01/04/2022 11:50

@BritInNZ so sorry! I feel your pain. After having been trying for so long all I see around me a pregnant women, strollers and baby announcements. 🥺 And all I get are negative test, I’m so discouraged. 🥺🥺

I’m 10dpo today. Already getting myself ready for AF in a few days because what else could happen to me. 🙄

LucyAnne34 · 01/04/2022 16:40

@BritInNZ eugh it’s so unfair! I feel your pain and I think the exact same thoughts quite regularly.i hope your day got better ❤️

L0ts · 02/04/2022 09:30

@BritInNZ This EXACT thing happened to someone I know at the end of last year they announced three months after their wedding that they were 3 months pregnant. Which of course says to me they started trying after their wedding and fell immediately 😩😩 I’d been trying almost five months by that point! 😩 So bloody unfair!!

Hoping43 · 02/04/2022 11:05

Girls… I’ve woken up in not a great place today. I feel I had about a day of relief after our hospital appt on Tuesday but now I’m 7DPO and my boobs have stopped hurting. Sure sign it hasn’t happened for the 12th time and I just feel like it’s never going to happen and that waiting 6 months for IVF is just more time wasted 😭

NatW2021 · 02/04/2022 12:40

@Hoping43 Big hugs! I know this feeling too well just waiting for that feeling to kick in (im 6dpo) how come you have to wait 6 months? X

Hoping43 · 02/04/2022 12:55

@NatW2021 the consultant just said that because I’ve had 2 already and no obvious problems so far that 2 years can be normal for some people. I guess maybe she doesn’t want us to launch into spending thousands of pounds on IVF if we don’t need it 😕 obviously I get her point but there’s no way of telling if it’ll happen or not

NatW2021 · 02/04/2022 13:24

@Hoping43 - ah right that makes sense, 6 months doesnt sound a long time but i know when your going through it feels like forever! This time last year i was blissfully unaware if anything related to TtC 😫 x

Hoping43 · 02/04/2022 20:45

@NatW2021 I know 😭 it’s just awful. What are your next steps? Xx

NatW2021 · 02/04/2022 21:10

@Hoping43 - i am going to give it 2 more cycles (it will be 12 months then) then go private, probably just to get some repeat bloods/Hycosy and take it from there. I know i am probably wishful thinking but i have been taking my thyroid meds as i am under-active and Vit d as i was insufficient for 3 months now along with some other supplements and diet changes so i am hoping thats what the problem is but who knows 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
BritInNZ · 03/04/2022 21:09

How's everyone been this weekend and where are you in your cycles?

I'm having a terrible cycle for some unknown reason. I just can't stop thinking about it all - maybe it's the anxiousness of it potentially being our last natural cycle until we try the monitored cycles? It's the first thing I think about in the mornings and the last thing at night. I've been in a terrible mood thinking about it all.

I'm just entering fertile week now. Been told to DTD every other day this cycle, which is proving really difficult. We actually are a 4-5 times a week couple throughout my cycle, so husband is definitely struggling 😂 I don't really see how that could make a difference as DHs SA is good. But I'm willing to give anything a go! We're also living with the in-laws at the moment, so it makes DTD very awkward and silent 😂

OP posts:
Hoping43 · 03/04/2022 21:34

@NatW2021 it’s so hard isn’t it. Fingers crossed those changes make the difference for you soon so you don’t have to have the extra testing x

FlyOnTheWall89 · 04/04/2022 06:11

Morningggggg @BritInNZ - I'm past ovulation but no clue what day because my temps have been weird this month. Could be 1 DPO, could be 5.

I think you need to change the mindset to be excited about monitored cycles - see it as a proactive move. Do you think there is a reason you're so anxious about them? Is it wrapped up in not being able to do it in the most natural way (just have loads of sex) and that being not okay with you?

I think the DTD every other day just gives sperm time to regenerate so you'll get a maximum amount each time. We have stopped DTD every day which is annoying because it feels more staged, but we have a different situ so I'm being fairly strict with it. I don't see why you would have to do the same so if you really feel like it, don't let that get in the way! Maybe it's good to try that as a semi new thing? There is lots of talk on other threads about advice from a fertility doctor to dtd on day 7, then 11, 13 and 15 and I don't remember this being specifically advised for low sperm count so you could try that next month.

Where are you in your cycle xx

Original poster
BritInNZ · 04/04/2022 08:10

@FlyOnTheWall89 I think it's because it's like admitting defeat. And it really is the end of that picture I've built up in my mind of it happening naturally and being able to tell my husband. Like I've always held onto hope it might happen naturally eventually but it feels like as soon as I start on this, I know it's not going to happen. And I guess the fear that it doesn't work and then we really are onto IVF!

Yes I don't mind the every other day thing, it feels like I'm at least doing something different this month for a change! Although of course, I have zero hope - which I'm sure you can pick up from how miserable I am at the moment 😂 we were told to do every other day from day 10-20, so that's what we're going with for now. I think that's the protocol for clomid too, so it's getting me ready for that.

I'm CD10 so pretty much fertile week. So it's a shame I'm so miserable because it can't be good for getting DH in the mood 😂

OP posts:
Carla2601 · 04/04/2022 19:32

@BritInNZ please don’t think of it like that - I’ve got a plan for how I’ll surprise my husband, you have to amend your vision if it goes that way but doesn’t mean it won’t still be amazing! Whichever way it happens it’s the happening for you that matters (someone once said to me there’s no line at school for natural conceived, natural birth, breast fed etc.) and the rest of it is noise. I agree with you and I wanted those things too but try not to let that get you down too much. Sending you good vibes that it happens this week ☺️

Carla2601 · 04/04/2022 19:33

Little update from me….stims completed - I need to do the trigger at 10 then that’s the end of injections!! For this time at least but for now I’m enjoying binning all the paraphernalia and celebrating a tiny milestone 💪

Original poster
BritInNZ · 04/04/2022 23:14

@Carla2601 thanks so much. Feeling heaps better today! Don't get me wrong, still don't want to do things the medicated way but it's occupying less of my brain today and I feel less sad. I think it's all amplified by the fact we're still in the process of finding and buying a house, which is stressful enough in itself! I feel like my brain isn't fully functioning and I need some routine back.

Yay!!! How did it go? How are you feeling?

OP posts:
Pineappletarts · 05/04/2022 10:39

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been on in a while. Tried to take a break from the thinking about it all tbh. No news from me other than still no spotting before periods, either due to my daily 1000mg vit c dose or new multi vit with Iron. This is the third month of those supplements after almost two years of pre period spotting so can't be a coincidence? Also booked a private Hycosy next week just to check stuff out and see what's happening as we are 15 months in. Hope everyone else is hanging in ok..Nice to see some positive steps with ongoing treatments/ IVF and sending good vibes to you all xx

Carla2601 · 05/04/2022 10:59

@BritInNZ well done - it’s mentally so tough I know, glad you’re feeling a bit better today.

Trigger also fine - 21 jabs down, one egg collection incoming tomorrow morning!! Will give you another update then but so far so straightforward. Time consuming, a bit boring having to come home every night for 7, but nothing awful at all I promise.

@Pineappletarts welcome back and good luck next week!