What do you wish you'd done before having children?

[MrsFogi]

Is there anything you wish you'd done/done more of before having children and are now going to have to wait, until they are a bit older/have flown the nest, to do? I ask in an attempt to keep my chin up while ttc. I seem to be putting my life on hold (e.g. not organising skiing hols until the last minute just in case, not changing jobs so I don't lose maternity benefits etc.) and as I've been ttc for 19 mths now I figure I should maybe use this time to do things that I (or dh + I) won't be able to do once we succeed (fingers, toes and everything crossed!). So someone please give me some ideas for big or little plans that wouldn't be possible with kids to take my mind of ttc and to get on with life in the meanwile!

[DANCESwithaMuffinTop]

Appreciated the bliss that is lying in bed until lunchtime.
Eaten out...all the time
MOre holidays (we did do quite a bit of travelling before dc thank goodness)

Again...appreciated the weekend lie-in

[BITCAT]

Wish i had learnt to drive..was to busy having fun at time to think about things like that!! Certainly would have made life a little easier especially with 4 of them!! But never mind i shall prob take lessons again when my 2yo goes to nursery jan 09!

[CrackerOfNuts]

Learnt to drive
Gone to uni/got a career
Had at least one holiday to far away place

[ScoobyDoo]

I wish we had been on exotic holidays together we have never been on one just me & dp we had ds just 12 months after meeting!

I wish i had studied, been to uni & got a career first.

I wish we had got on the housing ladder.

Been out & about alot more together & explored.

I would not change my children for the world but i maybe think i would have waited a few years till i started my family if i knew what i know now, not because of them but because this world is a struggle to live in. However i am only young & at least when i am in my late thirties i will have freedom & time to do all the things i want to do.

[scorpio1]

I wish i had known more about what i wanted in life from a man before i had a child with what i thought was one. (i was 16 in my defence). (Now have the best DH ever!!)

Everything else is fine - i have managed to do a degree, go on holidays, have friends/wild nights etc...don't feel left out or that there is another me iyswim?

If i hadn't had ds1 i would have done my law degree by now, i expect. I have decided since to do a Social Work degree, purely from my motherhood experiences i think.

[Miggsie]

...learned about contraception?

Travelling, definately.
Still we are now planning a safari with DD so maybe it is not so bad?!

[seeker]

Sad about people saying they can't travel or do things with children - why not? We've travelled, sailed, climbed - dole all sorts of things since the dcs were born.

[fruitymum]

Nothing too much! Took many years to concieve DD(6years) so learnt to ski and managed 2 ski hols a year for that time, leant to scuba dive and dived in the Red Sea , among other colder places! Moved house, did work related courses and took on a senior position setting up a new service. At the mo a SAHM - love it except for poor pay.
good luck with TTC

[DANCESwithaMuffinTop]

Lucky you Seeker. It costs alot of money to pay for accomodation etc for 4 people and some children just wouldn't cope with the disruption of travelling. My children are prob. just coming to the age where they can but certainly not before. You sound a bit judgemental.

[ScoobyDoo]

Sorry you find it sad seeker but if you knew my children you would understand, ds we maybe could do it now he is 5.5 but dd there is just nooo way! Also money is a factor we could no way afford anything!

[BoysOnToast]

i wish id not freaked out/panicked at school and actually fulfilled my educational potential, gone to uni, gotten an interesting job.

ho hum.

[trishpops]

i wish i had learn't to drive, finished my uni course as i'm worried it will be a struggle after baby arrives and gone on more holidays with my beloved. i know you can go on hols with babies but it's not quite 'get up at lunch time, bonk, lie by the pool, bonk, drink cocktails, bonk, go for delicious boozy meal, go back for more bonking then sleep!' when you have little ones.

[meep]

moved the piano out of the bathroom so that you can actually get in the bath when in labour

[BigBadMouse]

Totally agree - it's not the fact you can't physically travel, sail etc with children, but more that most people lose a lot of their income when DCs come along and that puts pay to a lot of these activites.

[seeker]

Didn't mean to sound judgemental - sorry. And we don't have much money - we've just taken our dcs along with anything we wanted to do.

I was sad that people seem to be assuming that you can't do stuff with children. I don't think our children are different from anyone else's and we've done lots.

[seeker]

Didn't mean to sound judgemental - sorry. And we don't have much money - we've just taken our dcs along with anything we wanted to do.

I was sad that people seem to be assuming that you can't do stuff with children. I don't think our children are different from anyone else's and we've done lots.

[seeker]

Didn't mean to post twice either. I think I was responding to the "it's too much hassle finding a child friendly hotel" I want to say (but I don't)"well, make sure your children ar hotel friendly children, then!"

[BITCAT]

We are on a very tight budget and no way could we afford a holiday..we havent had 1 for about 9yrs actually!! We just have to make do with days out..trips to seaside, theme park when we have spare money etc!! 2 adults and 4 kids, a lot of holidays dont even cater for 4kids and we would have to take children out of school because we wouldnt be able to afford to go during holidays..too expensive!! But i wouldnt change my life or my kids for all the money in the world, i have great kids, a partner of 14yrs and great friends so i'm happy with my lot..in any case i will still be young enough to do other things when my kids older, so i'm not too bothered!

[scully]

Not much actually. I waited until I was 31 before falling pregnant and luckily it didn't take long to fall pregnant with dd1. My sister had her first child when I was 12 and I saw how much hard work they were, so always had in my head that I would wait a while before doing that Didn't meet dh until I was 25/26 so that helped as well
Did loads of travelling before meeting dh and then we did a lot together, so am happy to have camping holidays on the cheap for the next few years
Probably my only regret is not having the children closer together, but living o/s with no family help, that just seemed too hard.

[upsyandiggle]

my things are very general really, wish i had gone go-karting and to alton towers (or any themepark) i never realised how much been told your not allowed to do something made you want to do it. Still not had time to do either.

[permatired]

Only thing I miss is being able to sleep for as long as I like whenever I like, or even just have a few hrs uninterrupted sleep, (I am proud mother of The Incredible Non Sleeping Boy) and wish I had appreciated being able to go out with DH at the drop of a hat without having to book a sitter ages in advance.

[honeydew]

I wish I'd travelled far more, eaten out more and spent more time trying to acheive my persoanl goal of beoming a writer instead of concentating on my career as a teacher. All of my three children are very young(4 and under) and I'll have to wait a long, long time before I can try and claw some of myself back. I am going to Bruges with my mum this Autumn for a few days and I'm just so excited about it! It'll be my first break in 5 years- hurrah!

[greeneyedgirl]

There are two main tings I regret. One is not going to uni, so now being a soon to be divorced single mum I am looking at starting within the next two years as my job prospects are pretty rubbish. This will be hard.

But, if there is any advice you should take, it is this: no matter what size your body is now, no matter what bits of it you hate; LOVE IT. I realise now, that even though I was a little bit overweight before I had dd, my body was beautiful and I really wish I had understood that back then!

[callan]

not so much gone on more holidays but when we travelled i wish we'd gone 1st class and in 5 star rather than 4 and not gone all inc. i realise now that before i had my son we had far more expendable cash than we realised. i wish i'd had a bigger & faster car. i wish i'd concentrated & pushed myself harder at work as now i NEED to because we NEED better salaries and i haven't got the energy. i wish i'd put more money in a pension and an isa when i had the opportunity too. kind of conflicting advice but i guess i'm trying to say appreciate your money, salary and finances now as when you have small child you'll only have overdrafts. enjoy what you have now, it's a fab time. it's also fab having children but in a very different way.

[beforesunrise]

go on lots of child unfriednly holidays- not talking sandals but more like city breaks, boutique hotels, spas, and backpacking trail type holidays.

go out a lot- spontaneously without planning months in advance.

read lots of books. watch lots of movies in the cinema. join a book club.

take up ballet/yoga/fencing whatever.

spend quality time with your partner. and with your girlfriends.

savour sunday afternoon boredom (i think of all things, just lying around the house doing not much is the thing i miss the most- i feel like i am constantly on the go and always have something to do).

above all, whatever you do or don't, savour it and enjoy the moment. and take time being (or becoming) happy with what you are. children bring a lot to your life, but they also take out an enormous lot and it's good to be in a good place both physically and psychologically.

i do hope it happens to you soon- and that in the meantime you and your dh have a great time!