What do you wish you'd done before having children?

[MrsFogi]

Is there anything you wish you'd done/done more of before having children and are now going to have to wait, until they are a bit older/have flown the nest, to do? I ask in an attempt to keep my chin up while ttc. I seem to be putting my life on hold (e.g. not organising skiing hols until the last minute just in case, not changing jobs so I don't lose maternity benefits etc.) and as I've been ttc for 19 mths now I figure I should maybe use this time to do things that I (or dh + I) won't be able to do once we succeed (fingers, toes and everything crossed!). So someone please give me some ideas for big or little plans that wouldn't be possible with kids to take my mind of ttc and to get on with life in the meanwile!

[trixymalixy]

I'm another who wishes we'd finished the house pre DS. We just don't have the time these days.

It would have been nice to have got one more rung up the career ladder as it will be difficult for me now being part time.

Don't put off going skiing by the way, we did and I regret not going on the off chance that I might get pregnant.

[francesd]

Again, finished the house and paid off all our debts. Would only have taken a year and would have saved a lot of stress! Now facing prospect of having builders in within first few weeks of baby being born

[Juicylucytoo]

I have no regrets, but I packed in alot before having DS at 40. I would recommend as many others have:

Travel to far flung and exotic destinations. E.g. The Inca Trail to Machu Pichu, as it'll be YEARS before you realistically can take kids on that. Back-packing in India. Site-seeing, shopping and eating in New York.

Lots of expensive Meals in Non Kid friendly restaurants.

Weekends away in European Cities.

VERY LONG Sunday Lie-ins with Newspapers

Whole days shopping for clothes JUST FOR YOU!

Finish the house. (ah there, we found it, my ONE regret!)

[worley]

lol at shrinkingsagpuss, wish i'd thought of that answer. pmsl

[shrinkingsagpuss]

married someone different

[worley]

ditto hthe more holidays together, meals out, cinema trips,
long lay ins, instead of early nights,
hangovers with out hearing someone shouting at you "i want..."

[ScubaDuba]

More his-n-her holidays to remote places. We both did lots of travelling before we met and together once we had, but I wish I'd managed to visit the Galapagos Islands!!!

As others have said, nurture your me-time and free time and your long lazy sleeps. Pamper each other and relish your child-free home whilst you can - no scribble on the walls, no broken furniture, clean windows, firegate-free fireplace, ornaments on shelves, etc, etc, etc

[decaffeinated]

Getting super toned and fit, like I'd been saying I would for the 2 years previous!

[Anna8888]

Made more money

[Scampmum]

Definitely going out together in the evening, going away for the weekend on a whim, lying around naked in bed all day, having baths together, generally acting on impulse, reading, doing night classes if you have any interests you want to indulge.

Brilliant question, by the way - great attitude! I'd hire the sports car, though - depreciation and all that .

[Sakura]

IN another life ID have like to have had a career. I actually have a masters and would have loved to have put a lot of effort into putting my degrees to good use. ALso would have liked to have shared a flat with a friend, or even better, lived on my own in a bohemian type way. Id have lived on the continent and taken a French lover or two(or any lover really) and become an academic with no children. Id have tried out different countries for long stretches by working my way around the world...<br /> <br /> As it happened I got married at 24, had DD at 25 but then as soon as I had DD I thought OMG WHY did I wait so long..? BABIES are where its AT! I want to have more! THis is better than anything IVe ever done in my LIFE!
So all in all a happy ending, I suppose.

[flockwallpaper]

It took us 4 years to conceive DS and i felt as you do that life was on hold. I wish I'd had the sense at the time to ask advice as you have I wish before DS arrived I had done evening classes to learn a foreign language as it is trickier to find the time once you have a child, and I also wish I had gone trekking / hiking more. It is possible to take a baby hiking with you in a sling but you can't go that far or in extremes of weather or altitude, and as much as I love DS, I miss the walks. Oh and I wish we'd done more fine dining. Good luck with TTC.

[CountessDracula]

had a child

it took us 3 years to conceive dd and we were ready before tbh

We did all the travel and had all the fun though so should be grateful for that

[HonorMatopoeia]

I'm sure these will be very similar to other posts but:

Travel
Swap jobs to do something a bit more 'daring'
Go to concerts
Go to fine restaurants (or even the local pub more often!)
Watch sunsets while eating fish and chips on harbours (I know it is saft but I love doing this)
Spend a bit of time worrying about me, not everyone else.

[beforesunrise]

go on lots of child unfriednly holidays- not talking sandals but more like city breaks, boutique hotels, spas, and backpacking trail type holidays.

go out a lot- spontaneously without planning months in advance.

read lots of books. watch lots of movies in the cinema. join a book club.

take up ballet/yoga/fencing whatever.

spend quality time with your partner. and with your girlfriends.

savour sunday afternoon boredom (i think of all things, just lying around the house doing not much is the thing i miss the most- i feel like i am constantly on the go and always have something to do).

above all, whatever you do or don't, savour it and enjoy the moment. and take time being (or becoming) happy with what you are. children bring a lot to your life, but they also take out an enormous lot and it's good to be in a good place both physically and psychologically.

i do hope it happens to you soon- and that in the meantime you and your dh have a great time!

[callan]

not so much gone on more holidays but when we travelled i wish we'd gone 1st class and in 5 star rather than 4 and not gone all inc. i realise now that before i had my son we had far more expendable cash than we realised. i wish i'd had a bigger & faster car. i wish i'd concentrated & pushed myself harder at work as now i NEED to because we NEED better salaries and i haven't got the energy. i wish i'd put more money in a pension and an isa when i had the opportunity too. kind of conflicting advice but i guess i'm trying to say appreciate your money, salary and finances now as when you have small child you'll only have overdrafts. enjoy what you have now, it's a fab time. it's also fab having children but in a very different way.

[greeneyedgirl]

There are two main tings I regret. One is not going to uni, so now being a soon to be divorced single mum I am looking at starting within the next two years as my job prospects are pretty rubbish. This will be hard.

But, if there is any advice you should take, it is this: no matter what size your body is now, no matter what bits of it you hate; LOVE IT. I realise now, that even though I was a little bit overweight before I had dd, my body was beautiful and I really wish I had understood that back then!

[honeydew]

I wish I'd travelled far more, eaten out more and spent more time trying to acheive my persoanl goal of beoming a writer instead of concentating on my career as a teacher. All of my three children are very young(4 and under) and I'll have to wait a long, long time before I can try and claw some of myself back. I am going to Bruges with my mum this Autumn for a few days and I'm just so excited about it! It'll be my first break in 5 years- hurrah!

[permatired]

Only thing I miss is being able to sleep for as long as I like whenever I like, or even just have a few hrs uninterrupted sleep, (I am proud mother of The Incredible Non Sleeping Boy) and wish I had appreciated being able to go out with DH at the drop of a hat without having to book a sitter ages in advance.

[upsyandiggle]

my things are very general really, wish i had gone go-karting and to alton towers (or any themepark) i never realised how much been told your not allowed to do something made you want to do it. Still not had time to do either.

[scully]

Not much actually. I waited until I was 31 before falling pregnant and luckily it didn't take long to fall pregnant with dd1. My sister had her first child when I was 12 and I saw how much hard work they were, so always had in my head that I would wait a while before doing that Didn't meet dh until I was 25/26 so that helped as well
Did loads of travelling before meeting dh and then we did a lot together, so am happy to have camping holidays on the cheap for the next few years
Probably my only regret is not having the children closer together, but living o/s with no family help, that just seemed too hard.

[BITCAT]

We are on a very tight budget and no way could we afford a holiday..we havent had 1 for about 9yrs actually!! We just have to make do with days out..trips to seaside, theme park when we have spare money etc!! 2 adults and 4 kids, a lot of holidays dont even cater for 4kids and we would have to take children out of school because we wouldnt be able to afford to go during holidays..too expensive!! But i wouldnt change my life or my kids for all the money in the world, i have great kids, a partner of 14yrs and great friends so i'm happy with my lot..in any case i will still be young enough to do other things when my kids older, so i'm not too bothered!

[seeker]

Didn't mean to post twice either. I think I was responding to the "it's too much hassle finding a child friendly hotel" I want to say (but I don't)"well, make sure your children ar hotel friendly children, then!"