Ttc after miscarriage thread 2 ✨🌈🤞

[Skl2021]

Just a 2nd thread for people ttc after miscarriage ✨🌈

Makes you sick @Skl2021 😂😂😂 let's hope this cycle is the one for you then. Pregnancy is a good excuse to not do it again 🙌🏻😂😂 x

@Cruz86 will be a long 9 months for oh if it happens 🤣🤞 x

@Cruz86 oops forgot to say, this is what I'm gonna take!

It's specific to PCOS but if you want the recommendation for women without I'll happily post it!

Oh I know @PamelaDoov, feels like it will never end 😞 hopefully only a few more days for you.

That's interesting @MO22. I was investigated for thyroid issues years ago but was told I had small nodules and didn't need to be reviewed. And then blood tests since have always been okay for thyroid! But maybe I should get that checked next as well... Ah amazing, yes I take different ones rather than a conception tablet. But I've never heard of the ones you're taking!! Hopefully we get answers soon! X

God I’ve been DTD everyday for two weeks now so if I don't get pregnant I’ll be mad! I didn’t know when I’d ovulate due to my miscarriage so started abit too early!

@PamelaDoov how annoying. Horrible to constantly see a reminder of it all.
@Slops1990 I just properly saw your story; I'm so sorry that you've been told essentially to get over it. It's still so fresh and raw and sad. I remember, ages before I had or was thinking about kids, reading that the sadness of a miscarriage/stillbirth/etc doesn't go away even after there's the happy ending of another baby, and that really stayed with me. Sure, lots of life grows around it and maybe the ache isn't as sharp, but it isn't like it just goes away, even if people end up with a huge family if that's what they're after.

Hey guys - currently say at airport waiting to go on honeymoon. I'm 6DPO today and just had a couple of glasses of champers and feel sooo guilty. What are everyone's thoughts on drinking on the 2ww? I usually would be so careful but want to enjoy my honeymoon! Xxx

I did exactly the same when we conceived @Cindy974 - was absolutely shattered!! 😂 hope this does the trick for you!!

Ooh lovely @Bridgey8! How long are you on your honeymoon for? I wouldn't feel guilty about a couple of glasses, but as time goes on I would start to be a bit more cautious. Have an amazing time xx

Hi everyone!

Thought I'd put a wee post up as I'm really struggling just now. I had a mmc in May, basically no foetus started growing so it was very early on. We only started trying end of Jan and I got my BFP mid April. Since then nothing has happened and I'm so depressed. We don't have children and 34/35 yr old. I'm beginning to lose all hope, I used OV sticks and could never seem to find a peak just some days the line was darker than others. I can't understand why I got pregnant quite quickly and now I just can't seem to conceive. I've tried taking multi vits and folic acid.

I've read that taking aspirin can help, is this true?

@hopefulsunshine11, hi hun, so sorry you're feeling down. I understand that feeling. Aspirin is a blood thinner so it's recommended for women with recurrent miscarriage in early pregnancy. As yours was an mmc (i.e. your body was doing all rhe right things, but hadn't noticed the wee bean wasn't ok) I don't think that's going to help.

If you're not sure you're ovulating, I'd get in touch with your GP and they can run some blood tests. You're coming up to the 35 age bracket where they're less likely to blow you off. Try to get a general blood panel e.g. iron levels, vit D levels, thyroid levels, and also a progesterone test about 7 days before you expect your period to arrive.

I always found that pushing for answers made me feel I was more in control and was really good for putting my fears to rest e.g. getting a good progesterone result.

I'm sure other folks here can also advise other options. I can't explain it but acupuncture does seem to help my cycle, so that might also be worth a try. Taking folic acid is definitely a good idea - more for if (when 🤞) you get a BFP.

❤❤❤

@Bridgey8 I would enjoy yourself; for me, I think I need to do that or it makes me even more obsessed, you know? Enjoy the honeymoon!

@hopefulsunshine11 So sorry you find yourself here. I echo getting all the tests done, for both of you, just so that you can cross thing off the worry list and know you're basically waiting for a lucky month, or you have as much time as possible to sort out any issues that are found (and hopefully none would be, but my understanding is that many, many issues are solvable once identified)

@Cindy974 fingers crossed! Jeez, I think we had more sex in the months of trying than we have in 10 years of knowing each other combined. I'm. Tired.

@Cruz86 thank you lets hope so 🤞🏼

@Ganesh2022 thats what we said! Its definitely brought us closer together

I feel terrible. It’s like it suddenly all hit me again yesterday, even more than when it actually happened. I cried myself to sleep, me and DH both did. I just don’t know how I’m going to spend a full day at work tomorrow, and every day after that, knowing that I should be pregnant and looking forward to maternity leave. It was the only thing keeping me going. Now I’m just doing a shit job with shit people with no hope in sight.
My heart hurts so much. And I’m still bleeding, so there’s that constant reminder all day too. And on top of all this I’ve caught a cold/sore throat (not covid) so I feel ill and tired. I want to lie in bed all day and do nothing but I’ve got things to do today and DS with me.
I’m scared to not go to work because of money, and because my manager will think I’m unreliable, or I’m just trying to get out of work, and be even more of a twat to me than he normally is.

@PamelaDoov I'm so, so terribly sorry for what you're going through. As if the situation alone wouldn't be harsh enough, the change in hormones is a cruel cherry on top. That alone would be enough to just want to hide in the bedroom and have a cry.
Your work situation sounds agonising. Is there a possibility you can look for another job? Sometimes just looking for a new job gives a bit of a positive outlook.
Is your DS always with you or is someone looking after him when you're working? If so, can you take a day off (sick, whatever) and just pamper yourself that day? Even if it's just an afternoon. A massage, pedicure, facial, whatever you need!

@Bundaberg84 I work 3 days a week and he goes to nursery those days. I don’t want to do anything, I just want to stay at home. It isn’t good timing for another job, and I’d just be sad wherever I went.
DS is miserable because he has a cold too so I’ve got to listen to him whinge all day. I don’t want to do any of this. I just want to be left alone.

@PamelaDoov, I could have written your post back in September. I'm so, so sorry. The constant bleeding was soul-destroying - mine lasted 3 weeks of this slow black-brown trickle. It only stopped when I got some antibiotics from my EPU - they could see a bit of blood on a scan which they thought might be some inflammation. Then I had a blessed week of no blood and then got my period and by then I just wanted to never bleed again. (If you think this might be you, call your EPU and get a scan.)

In terms of work - I was in a similar position: desperately wanted to move jobs and was just getting through to mat leave. Then that got ripped away. (I actually got a new job offer last month but had to turn it down as I couldn't afford to take it unless we stopped TTC until I qualified for their paid mat leave, and that idea made me sob.)

All I wanted was to sleep for a month, but my DD needed me to be her mummy.

A couple of things:

1. It does, slowly, get better, even without getting pregnant quickly. I promise.

2.There's no prize for trying to be ok now. You're not ok and that's fine, normal and healthy. I'd recommend looking into a bit of therapy - the Miscarriage Association has some good sources even if money is tight. When I told my therapist I had good days and bad days, she suggested the bad days were the healthiest ones where I was processing my grief and pain, and my "good days" were days I was dissociating from my grief.

1. Can you look into your work's paid sick leave policy? Any decent GP would sign you off work for a few weeks, they can be vague on the reasons as it sounds like your boss is a dick and wouldn't understand. If somehow that's not an option, here is my permission to phone it in for a while - a few weeks, months or the whole of next year if you need to. Turn up, do the minimum, protect your energy. No-one is superhuman and MC is physically, mentally and emotionally draining. Let yourself need some time to recover.

1. Your son will not suffer from a few days of TV and beans on toast. You don't have to be the perfect mummy right now, he knows you love him and he'll love you even if you're tired and sad.

Sorry for the essay! I hope bits of it were helpful...

@Shortmamashortcycles thank you. I’m meant to be going back tomorrow after 2 weeks off, I haven’t got time to see a doctor before tomorrow for a sick note. If I just said I’m not coming in, who knows when I’d be able to get an appointment or if they’d agree I needed the time off.
I feel like there’s no solution to this that’s not going to make me look/feel bad. I feel like I’m letting other people down if I can’t handle going to work.

Just looked in my diary and it was my 20 week scan this Wednesday

So sorry you're feeling so down @PamelaDoov. I haven't got anything more to add as @Bundaberg84 and @Shortmamashortcycles have sent such good replies. But, please please do not feel like you're letting anyone down. You are the main priority. Work can take a back seat and like @Shortmamashortcycles said, days in front of the tv with beans on toast is absolutely okay for your little one. I would really urge you to call your gp as soon as you can, see if you can get a phone appointment and get signed off for a bit longer. It really doesn't sound like you're ready to go back to work and face people, and I'm sure they wouldn't say no to one. Look after yourself x

I’ve just looked and you only need a sick note legally if it’s been more than 28 days, which it won’t have been. But I feel like I need to have ‘proof’ so people don’t think I’m just trying to get out of work. Which isn’t the right mindset to have but that’s how most work places make people feel about sick leave. I don’t know what to do.
I’m in such a horrible mood today. I can feel the anxiety in my chest like a tightness. I just want to get angry at everything. DS wants me to read him a book and I feel like chucking it across the room.

@PamelaDoov sorry your having such a hard time 💕 some days u feel like it will never get better but it will! Stop thinking about everyone else and concentrate on yourself and little boy. Take it step by step hour by hour. Like other have said see if your gp can help you with the work situation as I don't think your ready you have too much on your shoulders right now. Were all here to support you ❤️ xx

@PamelaDoov, what if I told you there was no way to get from today to, for example, this summer, without letting somebody down? You are human, you have limits! This might sound harsh, but you will eventually run out of energy. So you need to prioritise who gets your energy and who can cope without.

Can I guess that you would rather let your work colleagues down than your son or partner. You would like to be healthy and rested rather than completely burning out.

I'm really sorry to be blunt, but you'll get through this in better shape if you accept that you're going through an incredibly painful, difficult experience and you need to make accommodations. Think of it this way: if a colleague needed time off because they were grieving AND had just had surgery, I'm sure you would understand. That's you - you need to trust that others will treat you with the kindness that you would treat them.

Sorry, this is a very brutal post, it's hard to convey tone! But please, email work and say you need more time. Tell them you have food poisoning, tell them you've fallen down a well. You aren't letting them down, the team, company etc will continue on just fine for a few more days without you. I promise.

@Shortmamashortcycles thank you x

Sorry to bring the mood down when everyone was trying to be positive