First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

[TinyDancer91]

Hi everyone!

This thread may or may not contain questions, I've mainly started it to be my brain dump safe space but in an excited way, not a bad way...

Me (30) and my SO (34) have decided to take the leap and start TTC! We have both wanted children for a while but just knew the timing wasn't right for either of us until now. For me, any time I see a baby or even baby clothes recently my heart aches for it to be my turn. I've never really had that strong feeling before.

The reason behind this 'safe space' is that we have agreed not to tell anyone we are TTC. We just want to avoid any pressure or disappointment if things don't go to plan, etc.

For context, I am the youngest of 5, the only girl the only one of my siblings without children.
SO is the oldest of 2, his brother has a child who lives with BM away from here so isn't really seen much by grandparents.

Both families are great and would only want the best for us but I personally don't want to feel any sort or pressure at all (intended or not) from either side.

So, we start our journey, we are on cycle 1 SWI, not expecting anything to happen this cycle and trying not to turn in to a crazy lady about TTC

If anyone else needs a brain dump safe space, feel free to join me here x

@thecoconutcat you're welcome 😊

@LauraA31 I'm pretty sure I'm 2dpo, peak was on Thursday morning but O pains ended on Thursday evening and sore boobs started yesterday

9dpo.... feeling like 90dpo! Trying not to symptom spot but I've been feeling really tired, nauseous and crampy for a couple of days. My boobs are getting sore and sensitive too. But this could all be PMS! I've also been getting very hot very quickly too recently.

Fingers crossed for us all 💕🤞🏻✨

Fingers crossed for you @TinyDancer91 Have you managed to stay strong with the no testing until Monday?

I joined this thread at the start but luckily fell pregnant the end of January. I'm 7 months along now but love checking in here and reading every one's updates every few days and routing for everyone to get their BFPs.

Baby dust to you all!!! 💫

@EMC2022 no, I caved last night.... though I saw a very faint line but tested again today and nothing... don't know why I do this to myself! Trying to think positive and remember my own advice of 'you're not out until AF arrives' but it's so hard 😭

I'm becoming more & more convinced that it's never going to happen for us naturally (or maybe at all)

OH is at work and I've been sat here now ugly crying for almost an hour because I'm so convinced now that it will never happen for us. I hate this. TTC was supposed to be an exciting time full of things to look forward to, now it just feels full of pain, disappointment and failure.

Mentally, I don't know how much longer I can do this for.

Everywhere I turn at the minute there seems to be pregnancy/baby posts. I want to be happy, especially for the people I know who are posting, but I can't. I'm finding myself more & more resenting them.

Sorry for the depressing post, but I needed to get my feelings out there and this is the only place I can go right now.

I just want this so badly and there's nothing I can do to make it happen. ❤️‍🩹😢

@TinyDancer91 I am so so sorry!

And never apologise for a depressing post. You should always keep it real on here because your feelings are so valid. It's really not fair.

I wish there was something I could do to help you.

May I ask, if its not too personal, how is your OH handling all of this?

@TinyDancer91

i am so so sorry you are struggling.

I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you. But please don’t give up. It WILL happen for you. Keep that hope and gratitude in your heart.

have you been to your GP about it? If you’ve been trying over a year (if you’re under 35) then you have every right to go and try and find out if there is something wrong.

sending you lots of positive thoughts and baby dust ✨✨✨

@TinyDancer91 sending lots of love to you, it WILL happen. Like others have said, have you shared how you're feeling with your DH or got any professional support to investigate what might be going on? sending strength and hope xxx

So sorry you are hurting @TinyDancer91
As everyone has said, don’t lose hope, it will happen for you.
I know everyone’s experience with the GP is different but if there are any particular symptoms that are concerning you, go earlier than the 1 year. I had spotting that was worrying me in the context of TTC and the doctor ended up doing lots of blood tests for that but he checked all the general fertility stuff too. Otherwise, I’d been looking at hertility to do blood tests to get a clearer picture. I was really starting to think something was wrong and that it was going to stop it happening for me but then it’s happened. It could happen when you least expect it. I think we’ve been tricked into thinking it should happen easily and quickly but it’s so complex and so many things have to align perfectly at one given moment so we’ve got to be kinder to ourselves in the months it doesn’t happen. You’re not out yet this month and I’ve got everything crossed for you. Sending lots of love ❤️

@EMC2022 @BeeLieve86 @thecoconutcat & @Livlaughloathe thank you all.

Feeling a little more together this morning. OH is struggling a little too but doesn't like to let it show.

We've not been to see the GP yet as it's not been a year and know they won't do anything until it has. I think if we've still not conceived by Oct, we will go then (although it will only have been 10 months, but 11 cycles, I will have been off the pill for 12 months). Think we're both just so scared of finding out that we are the reason why or that one (or both) of us are just simply not able to have kids.

Just need to calm myself down and keep it together for a bit longer.

Love & baby dust to all 💕✨

@TinyDancer91 I'm so sorry :( Sending you virtual hugs

@Livlaughloathe well said! ♥️

Brain dump incoming:

First month TTC - no tracking, just an app to predict ovulation (been using it for 2 years so it has a lot of my info stored) - DTD day before and day of predicted ovulation. AF due yesterday, been spotting since last night, pink, then brown... still spotting now and have cramps, have done a test, got a BFN... although it was my first cycle and I knew the likelihood of falling pregnant first time was very slim, I'm still deflated 🙈... Will see if a proper bleed occurs, if not then will test again Wednesday

@H1994 that was me last month! used flo for period tracking for years. Used OPK for the first time this month and turns out my day of ovulation is different to Flo's prediction. No idea of the outcome of this but worth giving a try for you too? x

@thecoconutcat yes... I use Flo too... I may grab some ovulation tests/temperature supplies to see? Or might just entirely let it all happen naturally next cycle... I'm not sure yet 😅🙈 fingers crossed for you!!! Thank you for the recommendation x

@thecoconutcat i used Flo and then started to test ovulation with easy@home snd the pre-mom app, it’s a wonderful app!

@thecoconutcat & @H1994 I use Premom with the easy @home strips too. Gives you a great insight into your cycle!

Fingers crossed for everyone 💕

@TinyDancer91 thank you. Also, I'm so sorry for missing your post, and then posting myself - I feel so selfish 🙃 I'm so sorry this month wasn't what you wanted.... I'll tell you my best advice - you're one cycle closer 🌟💓

Yes ♥️🥰 we are all one cycle closer! Xx

This cycle has really hit me hard. I cried again last night. I'm not normally a crier... AF isn't due until Thursday so I know I'm not 100 % out yet but convinced it's a no again

@TinyDancer91 Crying is okay... allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, we're here for you. You still have a few days to test again? 'You're not out until AF arrives' <3

Hi all.
Please can I join?
I have been posting on some of the other threads but just seen this one.

I had my copper coil removed in March, had a cycle where we were not really trying (on holiday), and have properly tried for 4 cycles now. Just got a BFN on 14dpo and AF is due tomorrow.

I'm struggling a little bit to get my head around this not being easy and I think I really had hoped it would happen fairly quickly for us. I have so many close friends and family who are pregnant and got lucky first or second cycle on their first or second baby. Two people very close to me also announced pregnancies in the past month which has been hard. I feel like we're the only ones left behind.

I know we are still early days and I will feel better once AF starts but just thought this might be a good thread.

Sorry to anyone else who is also having a tough time

Welcome @LucyLoopyLu

Sorry to hear it's not happened yet for you. Feel free to post anything at all here and feel how you feel. Wishing you lots of luck 🍀

I'm so glad to have you ladies here and that there's no judgement for feeling the way we do. Such a supportive group of people 💕

@LucyLoopyLu fingers crossed the next cycle is the one for you!

Im only on cycle 3 and im feeling super down about the time it has taken, and it’s only cycle 3! I really take my hat off to the ladies who have been trying for such a long time, your strength is amazing!

Likewise for me, people around us who are announcing pregnancies and it’s happened so soon! Boyfriends brother’s girlfriend is due in the next month or two with their second, they laugh about how they don’t actually care they are having another and never planned for one. I sometimes hear it on the phone (when they can be bothered ringing him) and just think what on eartthhhh and it’s taking us month’s!
I thought it would be easy and stupidly thought cycle 1 would be a certain positive!

I love these threads get me through the harder times! 🙂

Hi, I just need to talk to people who understand!
I'm TTC #1, AF just arrived today after my 2nd cycle off Cerazette. I had positive ovulation tests this cycle so I stupidly thought I might be in with a good chance of success, so it's hit me hard that it's not.
I've had a huge cry this morning, I'm 34 and literally everyone around me is pregnant / just had a baby, yesterday I went to meet a new addition to our family and it took all of my strength not to cry watching my husband hold the baby. Said family member passed me some OPKs as she didn't need them as she conceived first time, those words are echoing around my head today.
I know it's still very early days with regards to trying and I probably shouldn't even be this bothered but I can't help it. I do have a chronic auto immune health condition that is currently well managed but I can't help but wonder if it's affected my fertility.
I'm really taken aback at how upset I feel today and just need to get it off my chest to other people who understand ❤️