First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

[TinyDancer91]

Hi everyone!

This thread may or may not contain questions, I've mainly started it to be my brain dump safe space but in an excited way, not a bad way...

Me (30) and my SO (34) have decided to take the leap and start TTC! We have both wanted children for a while but just knew the timing wasn't right for either of us until now. For me, any time I see a baby or even baby clothes recently my heart aches for it to be my turn. I've never really had that strong feeling before.

The reason behind this 'safe space' is that we have agreed not to tell anyone we are TTC. We just want to avoid any pressure or disappointment if things don't go to plan, etc.

For context, I am the youngest of 5, the only girl the only one of my siblings without children.
SO is the oldest of 2, his brother has a child who lives with BM away from here so isn't really seen much by grandparents.

Both families are great and would only want the best for us but I personally don't want to feel any sort or pressure at all (intended or not) from either side.

So, we start our journey, we are on cycle 1 SWI, not expecting anything to happen this cycle and trying not to turn in to a crazy lady about TTC

If anyone else needs a brain dump safe space, feel free to join me here x

Hi, hope it's ok if I join 🙂
I'm 29 and my husband is 30. We have agreed to start TTC from April as I know it's best to take folic acid and vitamin D for 3 months before TTC.
Also I'm trying to get my coil removed but struggling to get an appointment, seems the doctor at my GP who deals with this is only there once or twice a week and I need to wait for a call for a clinic day appointment. So who knows when it's coming out 🤣
Did anyone else getting a coil removed struggle to get an appointment?

Hi, hope I'm ok to join. Been on here the last few months, been TTC since last May. Just want to moan about my mother (and mother in law) this evening. Both keep hinting about wanting grand children, have recently bought a new house and all I'm getting is "are you near good schools?" And "are there good nurseries around there?". Tonight my mum said to me that it's up to me when I have a baby and I just shouted at her that it wasn't actually my choice at all! My sister had a baby last year and my parents understandably adore their granchild but every time they tell me how wonderful the baby is and how happy my sister and her husband are I want to cry. I feel like I want to get pregnant just so I can stop being jealous of my sister and I can start to bond with her baby. I hate that everyone just expects you to be able to get pregnant whenever you want just because that's how it worked for them - rant over p

@8Paws Hey! When I got my coil removed, I had to look around sexual health clinics in the area and liaise with my GP for a while before finally getting an appointment! Got with with the GP in the end but was a 3 week wait

@Zubi Three weeks blimey! I'm even more gutted I missed a call earlier in the week about it, be time I called back there was no availability left for that clinic day. Here's hoping I don't miss the next one!

Hello to all those joining and happy Sunday to all.

Woohoo congratulations @MrsG2021 brilliant news!

I'm in my fertile week now so away we go haha. We both work from home which increases the opportunity for spontaneity - I'm hoping that helps us both feel more sexy and less by-numbers. First cycle "properly trying" although the previous two cycles we didn't use any contraception. Let's see!

@frida9 that sounds like a really challenging situation for you, so sorry to hear your MIL is being so insensitive. I can empathise, my sister has a beautiful son and has recently announced they're expecting again. I love my sister and nephew unconditionally but it doesn't stop it being hard or feeling jealous and those feelings make me feel like I'm a terrible person so it's a real spiral. Hope those around you stop making insensitive comments and we're here whenever you need a rant!

@ft23 sorry for the slow response, my phone logged me out of mumsnet last week and it's taken me this long to get back in!

Yep it's very hard not to obsess. Don't be disheartened if it doesn't happen this month, that would be a very short time in the grand scheme of ttc. My app took a long time to improve my cycle predictions, so I used opks a lot over the last year (although not in the last few months). They were great for getting a rough understanding of what my body's timeline is when my app had no clue, but we still found it hard to line that up with dtd at the exact right moment! I'm sure there were some months where we dtd a lot but just somehow missed my most fertile days.

I'm expecting AF this Friday. Booked to go to the pub with a friend so at least I can drown my sorrows if needed! Haven't worked out what I'll tell her if this is the month I finally get a bfp though...

@frida9 oh god I hate it when people do that! I always have a 'hilarious' anecdote on hand to sidestep the invasive question, but admittedly it hasn't come up with closer family/people I spend more time with, so I can usually dodge it and that's that. I'm sorry you're experiencing this with your family.

@taytay2020 I firmly told my mum 2 days ago to stop going on to me about babies. Today I made the mistake of spending time with her and it's more "your car would be fine for a baby, you'd have no issues with car seats". I don't want to have to cut back on speaking to my family but for the sake of my mental health I think I need to. I just nee to stand firm and not feel guilty about being a bad daughter.
All the posters on here are such a great support, I really don't know what I would have done the last few months without these forums.

@Frida9

Hi, hope I'm ok to join. Been on here the last few months, been TTC since last May. Just want to moan about my mother (and mother in law) this evening. Both keep hinting about wanting grand children, have recently bought a new house and all I'm getting is "are you near good schools?" And "are there good nurseries around there?". Tonight my mum said to me that it's up to me when I have a baby and I just shouted at her that it wasn't actually my choice at all! My sister had a baby last year and my parents understandably adore their granchild but every time they tell me how wonderful the baby is and how happy my sister and her husband are I want to cry. I feel like I want to get pregnant just so I can stop being jealous of my sister and I can start to bond with her baby. I hate that everyone just expects you to be able to get pregnant whenever you want just because that's how it worked for them - rant over p

Oh my gosh, so sorry your mum & MIL are behaving like this. I resonate a lot and its such an insensitive thing to have to deal with - sending you a hug! I've had this from my best friend who plans to get married next spring (she isnt engaged yet!) and has told me i cannot be pregnant at the wedding. I just think- sorry but I dont just get pregnant exactly when I want! Really hope we're not still trying and actually have a little one or are pregnant by then but it makes me on edge every time it comes up - which is a lot!

Anyway, I have no idea if my apps are correct so not actually sure to trust when AF is due. Today is CD31 but my last cycle was 35days so trying to be patient until the end of the week (and also of course hope it doesnt come for good news! - but not feeling likely) Anyone else waiting for an end of Jan outcome?

I've had this from my best friend who plans to get married next spring (she isnt engaged yet!) and has told me i cannot be pregnant at the wedding.

oh my god @Ft23 going by that statement, your friend sounds like a nightmare ... I'd be trying my hardest to get pregnant just to annoy her joking aside, thats incredibly rude of her I hope it was a (poor taste) joke.

At the start of last year I was really conscious of what the due date would be if we conceived on each cycle, and I was thinking ahead to 'oh maybe I shouldn't book work in that month just in case' etc etc. Now I know better - pregnancy clearly cannot be planned, so if I have to cancel stuff, tough!

@ft23 I really hope you are pregnant at your 'friend's wedding! Or sat there with a screaming baby 😀

In other news, I'm out this month. 12dpo, BFN. I even bought a FRER for the first time ever, just so I'd know nice and early this week! Turns out my nausea and stomach twinges are just...nausea and stomach twinges. AF due Friday, then I'm hitting the wine. 🍷🍷🍷

Hello! I have a question for any OPK testers here (it's my first cycle using them). I appear to have had my peak this morning, I tested at 6am. I tested this evening at 6pm and LH is back to low. Is it the the case ovulation is likely to be tomorrow (Wednesday) and therefore Thursday will be my 1DPO?

If so, my Clue app absolutely nailed my ovulation day this cycle!

Thanks very much in advance to anyone who comes to this OPK newb's rescue

@Bluets my understanding is that you ovulate around 24-36 hours after your peak so tomorrow could be ovulation day for you. Time to get busy 😜

Congrats to those of you who have received their BFPs!! Hoping for more coming up!

Welcome to our new friends since my last post.

Sorry I've not been active for a little while, been feeling a little rubbish mentally the past week or so after having Covid. However, I'm back to my normal self again now and back to being ready to TTC.

I've found myself planning so much into this year now with a 'what if it happens then' kind of attitude in the back of my mind, like we have a holiday booked with my parents for the middle of May, it's their first time leaving the country (we've going to Cyprus, Covid permitting!) so they are so excited! But I've had days thinking, what if I'm X amount of weeks by then, what if we find out that we're pregnant while we are out there, will it be safe for me to fly if it does happen before we go. I'm also a dance teacher and I've been roped into/agreed to be in some of our group dances for our annual show in June, so there's that to think about too!

Anyway, enough about me, sending baby dust to you all!! 😘

Thanks @rcal1988 that's really useful! Time to get busy indeed

Hey, hope I’m okay to join too ☺️

I feel like I’ve spent the last year or so preparing, buying our first house, decorating, doing couple bits, buying family cars haha! I even stopped smoking over a year ago because I knew this is what I wanted. But now that I’ve finally got my coil out (I had the copper coil out last week) I feel a bit out of depth even though we’ve been planning this for so long 😩

Doesn’t help that my SO is 29 (I’m 28) and wants a baby by time hes 30 in October…. I’ve had to explain it doesn’t work like that and even drew a diagram 🤦🏽‍♀️😂

Fingers crossed for us all 😘

Urgh AF arrived overnight/ this morning :( know its silly but feeling gutted and also frustrated that i had a second 35 day cycle, which feels so long and harder to get through :( OH and I are apart this week and just had to text him. What a rubbish January- hopefully February is better?!
Hope you're all OK too!

Hope you don't mind me adding to your thread. I'm a mum of a 14 year old but ttc with my partner, I'm 33 he's 40. We have decided to keep it quiet to try to avoid the pressure. Will be really nice to be able to talk about things with people in the same boat as me. Have been ttc for 4 months now and started tracking with ovulation tests.

Hi there @Paxley32 and @Bubs89 and welcome! I would love to see a copy of that diagram Paxley, oh my!

So sorry to hear that @Ft23 It's not at all silly to feel gutted and frustrated. I hope you have lots of lovely self-care planned and can have fun with your OH when you're reunited.

Anyone else on 1DPO? Due on 9th February so preparing myself for an excruciating TWW. Got quite a lot to distract me so hoping that will help!

Ladies using OPKs, I've used them for the first time this cycle, testing twice a day. According to my Flo app and Premom app, I am 2dpo, BUT Ive not had a peak using the OPKs...

So, which do I trust? My levels have been pretty much the same using the OPKs since AF. Am I still in with a chance this month or have I missed my peak?!

HELP!!!

@TinyDancer91 I read up above you have had covid. I'm not sure if it's the same but after I had my boostery ovulation and AF was an entire week late. I didn't know this at the time and ended up thinking I must have missed my peak. So keep testing, just in case having covid possibly had the same reaction for you. I had a lot of disappointment over BFN that month as my AF is never late so I was convinced I must have been pregnant but it turns out the booster just delayed everything 😂

Thanks @EMC2022! I'll keep testing and hopefully see my peak soon! My booster didn't effect my cycle luckily so hadn't even crossed my mind that covid might have 😬

Got my solid smiley today. Dtd last night, but can't again til tomorrow. So not that hopeful this month.

But least I know I can ovulate. Had some cramping and bloating today. Jeez its tough being a women!

@Ejk1990 I got my peak this evening too! Fingers crossed for us both 😬😁

I am expecting AF today as I got bad cramps I've been using Flo to track as well as OPKs last month, but I got eggwhite discharge after the predictions from Flo and OPKs. Who knew it'd be so difficult to time to get pregnant!