Bus 7 - all aboard the Donkey Cart! Ttc for way longer than we should've been with endo/pcos/ivf all welcome

[Marvellouslymadmum]

New thread will try and tag everyone if I can

@Marvellouslymadmum I'm feeling it too at moment, a girl I was friends with in school just had her 3rd and my cousin who is 25 her and OH selling house down south and coming back up here as...you guessed it, she's pregnant too. Got married within a month of her. Bit of a slap in the face really

@thislittlebird I'm sorry I hope I didn't come across as not being sympathetic, I didn't convey it very well! I'm so sorry it didn't work this time for you x

@kerrym87 no it’s ok you didn’t. As you know it’s just very fucking hard to deal with it not working. I feel a bit better today but other than today I’ve been a mess really. I said elsewhere it feels like grieving even though you didn’t really have anything to begin with.

I felt a bit better once AF started too, the build up to that wasn’t fun.

Like you and @Marvellouslymadmum said I’m so sick of all the pregnancies. It upsets me how people just decide to have a baby and they’re pregnant a few months later. Then a few months after that they have a sizeable bump, then they suddenly have a baby. And I’m still here without even so much as a positive test. It’ll be three years for us in October and I’ve never even had a positive. Feels like it’ll never happen sometimes, not sure how many ivf failures I’ll be able to take.

@thislittlebird well be the same.....I still grieve for my failed transfer embryo as closest me and hubby have ever got to our baby/both of us in one being.
Still sad about embryos that stopped growing even though obviously they'd never have made it.
Still think if cycle had worked it would have been due October ish .....
It's all a complete mind fuck, I don't feel the same person and have not been truly happy or my usual self since September last year. It just is there all the time and affects everything. Another friend just had miscarriage, sad for her but at least she can get that far....totally irrational to think like that! Just waiting for AF to ring clinic to confirm next cycle 😒

@kerrym87 Yeah, I keep thinking of my scan picture and how it's the nearest I've ever got to a baby. It's sad really. I know I have a few more but who knows what will happen to them, there's no guarantees. My husband said the only good thing is our baby won't have an early Jan/late December birthday and yeah, true, but I'd rather it have worked.

I barely see my friends now because they all have babies. I can't face it, particularly in groups.

I get it, it is irrational and obviously we don't want to go through that but there's something horrible about not knowing if you're even capable of getting pregnant.

My clinic called me today, probably the counsellor or something but I miss dit and they didn't email and haven't replied to my email so I have no idea what they want.

@kerrym87 I swear I'll be so careful announcing if it ever happens to me again!!

@thislittlebird I'm so sorry it didn't work for you, will you have a follow up appointment so they can try and work out why and adjust things for your next go?

@Marvellouslymadmum I’m not sure they’ll say much tbh, because it’s the first time it’s failed.

I’m anticipating them trying to push me into a medicated cycle which I’m not entirely happy with. Part of me would like to try it because my body doesn’t seem to do the right thing with hormones all the time. But they don’t seem to acknowledge my migraine issue and I need to raise that, because throwing people who have hormonal migraines on oestrogen for weeks doesn’t seem right to me. We’re not even allowed to take the combined pill, so I need to raise this. This time I want a proper plan made for me and not just the bog standard one.

The appointment isn’t until May 24th, seems like ages still :/

@thislittlebird yes that makes total sense, I'd definitely try and get them to organise things around your specific needs, I find it a bit odd that they don't do that anyway when there's so much riding on it!
24th will come around quick enough I bet.

I've a feeling my issue is too much oestrogen as it is which may be my issue but it's hard to get people to listen! I'm waiting for a call or message from my consultant at the moment about my forever long cycle! 🙄 I was starting to worry it could be the dreaded M but the nurse I spoke to assured me it doesn't just happen, more of a build up so just have to find out what's occurring in there!

@Marvellouslymadmum yeah it's frustrating and they totally didn't know I had had low progesterone before which frustrated me.

Tbh even if it was perimenopause, which I have a couple of friends going through now, women can still conceive then so it does all sound very frustrating considering you've been trying so long.

@thislittlebird sometimes it seems like they don't even bother with your notes doesn't it?!
I eventually got my call from the consultant who said, you're on the second round of clomid 100mg aren't you? I said no I'm on day 73 of cycle one! And she said oh and you've had no period and negetive pregnancy test? Yes says me - well just start them again then!! There's no need to wait
After 35 days if you have a negetive test just start the clomid anyway 🤦🏼‍♀️ why did no one tell me this before?! I'd have been finished the 50 and 100mg by now!! I'm going to do a little research tonight just to make sure this is a good thing to do and also purchase a more reliable test than the cheap strips or I'd never forgive myself if I started taking them again and shouldn't have even though I know it'll be negetive 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Marvellouslymadmum huh? You could have started? I don’t get it, surely you need a period for follicle growth? Or the bit right before a period? So confusing.

Yeah research is good, and best to get the good tests just in case.

Did say we’re going to Cyprus? We’re going on June 4th and I’m so relieved we booked the holiday, it’s been a nice distraction to buy myself some new swimsuits and aim to lose some weight. I’m doing the 30 Day Shred and watching what I eat, I’m also on a short people losing weight thread on here somewhere 😭😂

I’m a bit overweight so losing some before the next FET can’t be a bad thing.

@thislittlebird have a lovely time in Cyprus! I could do with losing some weight too but don’t think it’ll happen any time soon.

AF arrived today, so my transfer window in June is likely to be the week of the 21st…

@Sunbird24 the failed FET and holiday were motivation for me. I haven’t been abroad since 2018, I’m super excited and it really is a nice antidote to FET sadness. Booked a cute private villa overlooking the sea with private pool so I don’t have to be around all the young mums and their kids 🙃

I find weight loss and gain quite slow for me, but loss is even slower than gain these days. If I can tone up a bit for the holiday I’ll be pleased. Really wanted to go for longer than a week but that was all the villa was available for in June.

If Guys get a wriggle on I could be a similar time to you for next FET. I’ve heard the waiting lists are ok right now and I’ll be booked in after my 24/5 consultation.

@thislittlebird when we're they going to put you on oestrogen? Throughout my whole ivf cycle I didn't actually have migraines like I usually do in run up to ovulation. And I was on 3 tablets oestrogen a day in 2ww after transfer. Its been my natural cycles after I've had loads....
@Marvellouslymadmum how bloody annoying. They forget basic stuff as it's their bread and butter but to us it's pretty major....

@kerrym87 they wanted to do the standard medicated FET and I asked not to do that because of the thrush and migraine issues. So we went ahead with natural but they didn’t realise I needed progesterone until the day of transfer, when I asked about it. I’m looking forward to talking to a doctor about it all.

@thislittlebird I'm so confused! She didn't tell
Me that before and I can't find anything at all about it on the internet! I don't know what to do now 🤷🏼‍♀️
Ooh Cyprus sounds lovely! I may have to lol for the short people loosing weight thread - need me some if that! I keep going up and down by 1lb then put on 2lb then lost 3 😂 I'm wondering if it's my weight stopping the clomid working as it says you have to have a bmi under 25

@Sunbird24 glad you're getting things sorted for your next go!

@kerrym87 I don't really know if what she's said is right, I've never heard anyone else say that and can't find any evidence to support it

@Marvellouslymadmum sometimes it's an educated guess or doctors personal experience that isn't technically evidenced🤷‍♀️ I suppose it's more likely they have an idea than say gp but it's hard to know!
Anyone else had awful headaches since ivf drugs? It's been nearly 4 months but had more migraines and headaches and thus cycle it's been bloody awful, barely a day without pain and haven't seemed to fully get on top/get rid of migraine

@kerrym87 that's why I just don't know what to do, I bought a different pregnancy test which was of course negetive. However I've also started opk again yesterday to see if I can work out where I am In my looooooong cycle and got a high yesterday then a peak today! 🤦🏼‍♀️ so I'm thinking I'll carry on testing and temping for a few days and see if I do ovulate and if so I'll hold off if not I'll take
The clomid 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Marvellouslymadmum I can’t wait for the holiday, haven’t had an excuse to lose weight in a few years now. search for shorties losing weight! It’s that thread I’m on, I’m out and about but can link you when I’m back if you can’t find it. Clomid needs a bmi of under 25? Hmmm well, can’t hurt to try getting it down I guess.

@kerrym87 my hormonal migraines were much more intense from Feb when I did EC until the most recent one I had. Lasted longer, more build up and a lot more vomiting, but contained to the few days around ovulation or period. Remains to be seen what the next ones will be like but the one at the end of my FET cycle was more mild.

@thislittlebird ooh I'll go look thank you! And that's what I read online but the consultant didn't have a problem popping me on it with my bmi 🤷🏼‍♀️
It's been so long since I had a proper holiday, my oh and I have never left the country together!!

Do, talking to ward managed about a few aspects of our treatment i wasn't happy about has backfired....turns out cos of hubby's bmi being too high we should never have got nhs funding in first place.....so I'm terrified it's gona be taken away. I get its got to be fair for everyone but selfishly wish I'd never said anything. She couldn't confirm it wouldn't be pulled but said we'll do our best we don't want to put obstacles in your way so don't worry.......😭

@kerrym87 oh no! Hopefully they won't take it away now, how many goes do you get?

@Marvellouslymadmum 3 in total, lucky that way but will be so pissed off if my highlighting issues everyone will be experiencing has brought up the cock up from beginning and lack of clear rules being enforced results in us being given hope of cycles then them saying nah you shouldn't have had them....cos it will delay us further if we have to go private . I really hope they're not annoyed as although o am a nurse and we need feedback I don't want to be that one who they think 'oh god its her the difficult one . I suppose it's done now!

@kerrym87 three is a good amount, to be fair I don't see them taking them away now. Hopefully you'll be ok but like you said, it's done now, all you can do is hope

How's everyone else getting on? Sorry if how may rounds I get on nhs has upset anyone I know some places criteria and what they offer is totally unfair and a complete postcode lottery, or those who have secondary infertility x