Bus 7 - all aboard the Donkey Cart! Ttc for way longer than we should've been with endo/pcos/ivf all welcome

[Marvellouslymadmum]

New thread will try and tag everyone if I can

@kerrym87 oh God that sounds horrible! I wish they'd stop saying "you'll need one day off work then you'll be fine" when clearly that's not the case for everyone.

@thislittlebird I think maybe frozen transfers have a shorter wait time? But I'm not sure

@thislittlebird you have to have hope, this is the furthest you've got so far so I'm really hoping this is it for you!

@Marvellouslymadmum i know, it’s just so hard to hope. I made a list of baby names at the weekend which I never do. I feel stupid when I do it, like that’s not something for infertile people like me to be getting carried away with :/

@Somatronic my best guess so far is that clinics just seem to vary wildly on OTD time, a friend of mine on another thread did frozen a couple of days before me and was told to wait 14-16 days and I was told 11 🙃.

@thislittlebird you have the right to have that hope though, you're realistic in the fact you know it may not work the first time but that doesn't mean it won't! It's fun to get carried away sometimes too 😬

@Marvellouslymadmum yeah I am trying to remember to manage my own expectations and then I get caught up in a brief optimistic half hour lol.

I have a friend I don’t see much now, I also thought she was still single and then I found out she’s not single and 20 weeks pregnant when I checked Facebook yesterday. I thought I was done with worrying about names being used by friends and now I’m worried again 😩. Hate it. I know it’s stupid and just a name etc, but I’ve had a couple of names I’ve liked for years and years and years (one in particular I would like to use is my nan’s) and I’ve had to watch everyone have their babies despite trying before them, and held my breath as they announced the names. I just need to hope this friend isn’t into the same kinda names I am for my hypothetical children 😞

@thislittlebird you deserve to be able to be optimistic after all you've been through!
I know what you mean about friends, I was so worried when we named my son because I knew a couple of people with the same name but they were close friends so I gave in and we did it anyway as we loved the name and it suits him so 🤷🏼‍♀️ hopefully your friend won't choose the same name though 🤞🏻

@Marvellouslymadmum I guess it’s just the fear it won’t work in the end but I can’t worry about that too much just yet.

Were the friends with the name adults? It’s bad but I’m kinda hoping she has a boy. I might have only a boy, but if she has a boy it means I can breathe again on the names for a bit 😂. I’m just never gonna check Facebook again so I can’t know what the outcome of her pregnancy is and what I don’t know can’t hurt me lol

@Marvellouslymadmum I guess it’s just the fear it won’t work in the end but I can’t worry about that too much just yet.

Were the friends with the name adults? It’s bad but I’m kinda hoping she has a boy. I might have only a boy, but if she has a boy it means I can breathe again on the names for a bit 😂. I’m just never gonna check Facebook again so I can’t know what the outcome of her pregnancy is and what I don’t know can’t hurt me lol

@Marvellouslymadmum I guess it’s just the fear it won’t work in the end but I can’t worry about that too much just yet.

Were the friends with the name adults? It’s bad but I’m kinda hoping she has a boy. I might have only a boy, but if she has a boy it means I can breathe again on the names for a bit 😂. I’m just never gonna check Facebook again so I can’t know what the outcome of her pregnancy is and what I don’t know can’t hurt me lol

New mumsnet is playing up, it decided to post that three times. 🥴

@thislittlebird I'm surprised it didn't post mine loads of times too, have to send it loads before it posted! I really didn't even write the post well!
I meant they weren't close friends of mine and it was their child who had the same name 🤦🏼‍♀️

@thislittlebird thought I was going nuts for a moment!😂 it's hard not to get carried away or optimistic and balance being realistic.

I find it hard with accidental pregnancies, seeing people with bumps and seeing little ones so much more since ttc and even more since ttc. Have irrational fears as well if we get pregnant somehow it'll be taken away, or something go wrong (I'm a neonatal nurse so I see all the rare crap, preterm babies etc). Really hard to forget about the journey , its always there, just feel sadness running under all the time, not completely happy despite amazing supportive hubby and family/friends.
Was devastated when we had nothing to freeze after 7 fertilised too and transfer failed, still can't get rid of the video of the surviving embryo dividing. This journey totally messes with your mind and emotions and I don't blame any of us for struggling with things other people think is nothing or minor

@Marvellouslymadmum yeah it told me I wasn’t allowed to post on mumsnet and then refused to send 🤣 so I kept trying to evade the weird message and hit send. Stupid new mumsnet.

@kerrym87 can confirm you are definitely not going insane, although I might have been aggressively pressing send a lot until it responded!

Yeah I am basically convinced that the worst isn’t even here yet. Like the rest of this experience will be terrible too because we can’t seem to catch a fucking break, ifykwim? I just want to move on and have what other people have so easily and it all feels very harsh.

I think it’s totally normal to keep your embryo video, I would do it too. It’s very bad luck, but hopefully your next round will be better. Do you follow amber Izzo? She had a much better third round than first and second and is now pregnant. I find it hard to follow her now she’s pregnant but I liked hearing about her success.

@Marvellouslymadmum was it a popular name at the time? Forgot to ask up there👆

@thislittlebird yes it was, his name is Charlie and at the time (2004) it had been very popular for a few years, luckily I think we were on the tail end of it so it wasn't as popular in his year at school or below. My daughter is Amber so she definitely has a more unique name

@Marvellouslymadmum that’s handy that there wasn’t too many of them. Both cute names! One of the boys names we discussed liking a long time ago is Cornish, as is my husband, so unlikely anyone we know (here) would pick that, although a shorter version of it is quite popular these days mor generally. But the girls names remain a constant anxiety. Even my mum got to pick a name recently, she got a dog and when she told me I was relieved she hadn’t used any of my preferred names lol. She tends to name her dogs old fashioned names so I was a bit concerned 🙃.

@thislittlebird is she on here or Internet? Haven't seen her stuff before

@kerrym87 She's on instagram! She successfully campaigned for some ivf to be funded in Cambridgeshire, there was none funded for a time, and she had to go through three full cycles before she had her third, much more successful cycle and is now with a bump.

@thislittlebird ahh that's a nice name for a boy! I've been paranoid that my family members would use names that I wanted
But I've been lucky so far! I started looking at names when I was pregnant 5 years ago but obviously that didn't work out, After that I tried not to think about it but every now and then when I hear or read a name I like I'll add it to a list on my phone 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Marvellouslymadmum I think I wasn’t clear 😭😂. I mean the name is from Cornwall, like my husband is and his name is also from Cornwall, that’s not the name but I’m sure someone is using that somewhere lol.

Look, I’m just glad I’m not the only one with a list on my phone 🙈

@thislittlebird 😂😂😂 I totally read it as that was the name!! 🤦🏼‍♀️ you're definitely not the only one with a list and I'm still on the no hope donkey cart lol

I’ve just made the calls to get my last 2 frosties transferred now that I’ve moved across the country. It’s still an hour’s drive to the new clinic but that’s better than 4! Hopefully a change of scenery and a tonne of drugs makes the difference…

I’m now trying to think of Cornish boys’ names!

@Marvellouslymadmum after this confusion I told DH, we agreed that if we’re successful we’re gonna joke to his Cornish parents that we’re calling any future baby Cornish [Surname] just to see why they say 😂

@Sunbird24 that’s much better than 4! When do you think it’ll be roughly? Fingers crossed for them!

Here’s a list! nameberry.com/list/332/cornish-baby-names/all

I’m less keen on the girls’ names, but can compromise with him on a couple of names if we ever have a boy.

Oh and weirdly, I was doing my family tree in January and found a relative of mine in the 1700s with a Cornish male first name that I really like. I googled to see opinion on it, of course the mumsnet baby names board was full of people who hated it complaining about how it’s a surname and how can you subject a child to that blah blah blah. It really annoyed me because it’s a real first name, it’s a surname mostly nowadays (as a number of them are) because there’s not actually many Cornish people and even fewer of them using old names. Anyway, this is an aside but it makes me annoyed when people assume things are surnames. My husband’s name isn’t one that’s also a surname afaik, people still can’t pronounce it correctly or spell it half the time lol.

In tww news I’m now 7dp5dt and I can feel a migraine coming on, I’m having the pre-migraine headache and AF would be due tomorrow. Sooo I’m not very optimistic, but I guess I’m kinda prepared for a negative.

My husband’s name isn’t even on these lists I’m browsing lol