Faith, trust & baby dust! ✨💕✨ TTC 12 months + 🤞🏼 On this rollercoaster together with a little love, support and giggles to get us by! 💕

[HopefulGlow]

Hi all!

We were getting to the end of the previous thread, so thought it’s best to start a new one.

A quick catch up I think mainly everyone on the old thread is as 12 months + TTC.

Newbies are always welcome.

Just sharing our journeys, supporting each other when possible, and having somewhere to moan and let it all out

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@Loops01 I'm so sorry. There's just nothing like it. I have felt the same burden on my mental health which is why I'm not on here much, but was just tagging you in case you decide you want to come back someday. You know where we are

Please look after yourself. And get yourself on anti-depressants safe for pregnancy. I didn't want any potential risk but I had to go that route as don't think I'd be here otherwise xx

Thanks @suzy124 I thought you would understand

Hi girls,

Sorry - can’t keep up whilst away with work, it’s all go.

@HopefulGlow how are you feeling ahead of tomorrow? Swaying either way?

@LA9610 great news about your scans and fingers crossed for that nice big follicle!

@suzy124 lovely to hear from you, and thank you ♥️ I’m glad your hsg was clear - is that the one where they use dye then X-ray you? Rather than watching it all live on the screen like in the hycosy? Or have a got the totally wrong..?

Loops I don’t want to tag you and make this flash up on your phone, but if you read this know that I’m sending you so much love and strength xx

Hope you’re all having a good week girls! Xx

@Amy259 it's basically a continuous x-ray so they were watching it live on screen and then taking stills. No real difference between it and hycosy except the radiation! Was your ovulation normal the month you had yours? Xx

@suzy124 ahh okay, I wonder how they choose which one to give us - it’s so weird we all get treated differently, isn’t it?

I ovulated early the cycle I had it, by about 4-5 days. So we actually pretty much missed it I think, but I had been told that the dye can stay in your uterus/on the lining until you shed it with your next af so you’re unlikely to conceive that month.

What has it done to your ov? Xx

@Amy259 it's just non-existent! Started testing cd11, no positives and they're getting fainter. Currently cd17 and I normally ov cd16. Oh well, onwards onto next month...

Also don't think it was by choice, nhs don't do hycosy in Hampshire but not sure what the reason is xx

@suzy124 the month after, last month, I was 3 days later than normal… so went from much earlier, to late! So maybe keep testing just in case?

Ahh okay. It’s a bit mad to me that care isn’t more standardised when it comes to investigating it all xx

@LA9610 Ooh, that's good you have been able to open up to your boss, how did you feel after talking to him? My previous boss was a woman who had (unsuccessfully..) been through IVF, I hadn't told her about our struggles but I knew if I did she would of been super supportive. I've recently taken a new job and my boss is male, which I feel a little weird about if I do have to confide in him eventually, he is lovely but I just think a woman would be more understanding. I would much prefer having my previous boss if we do end up on the IVF path, but I just couldn't keep delaying getting a new job 'in case I got pregnant', it was starting to hold me back.

Loops, I am reluctant to tag you but I'm feeling a little worried about you! Please know we are here if you want to need any emotional support and I'd absolutley encourage you to seek help from your GP, you don't have to go through this alone 💓.

How are you all ladies doing @Amy259 @AZ1992X @HopefulGlow @suzy124 @xoJellyBean xx

@AZ1992X yes!! We can let it all out now 😁 I’m waiting to get started on my Christmas movie list, I just don’t know when to do it 😍

Which ones have you watched recently?

@LA9610 well that’s good! Hopefully they will get through the list quicker and help us all out.

I haven’t, I was really tempted too back when I had some time off. My manager was really supportive of me when I was struggling with lots of things. But I could never bring myself to say it, almost like I was worried it would jinx me 🤦🏼‍♀️ It’s so silly.

I definitely think it’s good you told them, especially with all the appointments you’ve had. Hopefully they will be more understanding in the future too.

@suzy124 great news about your tubes! Hopefully you get good results soon and it’s not long until ivf starts. That’s so exciting!

@Amy259 I don’t know haha I’m feeling a whole lot of nothing but achy boobs, which I’ve had before but not in a while. I’m also now on antibiotics after finding out I have a UTI 😂 I’m seriously winning this month 🤦🏼‍♀️

Loops I’m so sorry to read this, it breaks my heart. But I really hope you find your happiness and spark for life again. Please reach out for help when you need it, there is so much out there 💕

@User1400 it’s good to know you still went for the new job! I’ve been looking but keep getting worried about what they will think if I get pregnant quite soon. But you’re dead right, I can’t keep holding off on what if’s!

I’m doing okay thanks. Waiting for the dreaded AF tomorrow! How are you?

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@HopefulGlow I was considering looking for a new job even before we started TTC 2 years ago but I held off as I thought a baby was in my near future.. 😪. I hesitated taking this new job as I started to think ‘but what if I need IVF? Will they understand?’ Then I just thought you know what, sod it 😂 I’m living for the now and will deal with the problems as they arrive. Have you applied for any jobs, or just browsing?

Crossing everything that the wicked witch stays away for you! Are you usually like clockwork?

I’m doing good thank you, just started temping for this cycle and trying to stay positive, looking at my app today I realised this is my last chance for a BFP before Christmas😮‍💨. Sometimes I can’t believe most women are lucky enough never to go through this, to fall pregnant accidentally, or within a few cycles.. it’s strange as I do believe this (albeit awful) experience has made me a more rounded person in a way, it feels like part of who I am. I try to remind myself how lucky I am to have other things in my life, but man, some days are definitely harder than others.

Sorry, I’ve gone a bit off track there! Deep thoughts for a Tuesday hehe. Xxxx

@User1400 I’m glad you thought sod it!! You need that. People get pregnant all the time in all sorts of different work positions, we can work around it. 😁

I’ve been looking and applying. Had a few interviews but they were very corporate and I don’t want that 😅 my problem is confidence, I’m very good at talking myself out of applying for jobs 🙈 I’m working on it.

Oh gosh! Please don’t let that bring you down, although I know how hard it is. It’s your last chance before Christmas BUT then you have the new year, a new fresh start, for so many things 😁💕

You’re right, it is part of who we are. Even though it feels surreal at times. You can have so many other things, and be thankful for them, yet still want this with everything you are. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. we can feel like this 💕 it’s just hard getting that balance sometimes. Of feeling positive, hopeful, thankful and live our day to day lives…damn it is hard!! ✨💕✨

Morning all!

Hope everyone’s week isn’t going too bad.

@LA9610 I haven’t told anyone at work yet although I wonder if they may think it. I’ve had a few appointments for blood tests then had emergency time off during the MC so I don’t think they’d be shocked if I told them. If I end up getting referred next year I’ll probably tell them at that stage due to probably needing more appointments etc .., I think she would be supportive and has kids herself. I’m glad your manager was supportive of you!

@HopefulGlow how are you getting on this morning? Any signs of AF?

Other than the two from the other week I just watched the Christmas Prince and then the second one in that series. Hadn’t seen them before! Trying to watch ones I haven’t seen before so I’m then left with my favourite ones in December 😂

Loops I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling, please know you will always have a place here if you do wish to talk. I hope you start feeling yourself soon ❤️

@suzy124 it’s lovely to hear from you, I hope you’re keeping well and great news on your scan.

@User1400 I’m well thank you, I hope you’re keeping well. Also, congrats on the new job - hope it’s going well and I’m happy you decided to just go for it!

@AZ1992X sadly I’m like clockwork. For the last few months I’ve been starting as soon as I wake up….AF did not let me down again 😫

I’m just going to get in my comfies and set my laptop up on the sofa.

I like to do that too, save all my favourite ones for December 😁✨💕✨

@AZ1992X sorry I forgot to ask 🤦🏼‍♀️

How are you feeling today?

@HopefulGlow Ah, I’m so sorry ❤️
That sounds like a good idea getting your comfies on and working from the sofa.

My cycles been the same too - the last two/three have always turned up as soon as I wake up so suspect the same will happen.

I’m feeling ok but not feeling too positive - I don’t have a reason why but just feel it won’t be this cycle.

Yes, I’ve got a few I’m saving for right before Christmas but will try and get through as many others before.

@AZ1992X I was the same! I had no reason to think either way but I just wasn’t hopeful. I haven’t cried yet though, which is unusual for me lol but there’s still time 😂

I may have to put on a Christmas film today to try and lift these blues.

I have short cycles too so I have another 2 shots before Christmas 🤞🏼 But right now I’m not feeling hopeful 😂

I’m sure by the end of today or maybe tomorrow I will be thinking positively and try to be grateful I have regular periods and things….but right now I think I need some brownie, coffee, Christmas films and to wallow 😔

How long have you got? ✨💕✨

@HopefulGlow I’d love to be proven wrong but I doubt it 😂

Yes, you should absolutely do that. Let me know which film you decide on. A film with brownies sounds the perfect combo and just what you need ❤️

That’s good you’ve still got two cycles to go, like you say hopefully you’ll see that as a positive in the next few days.

Mine are slightly longer so I’ll only squeeze one full one in before Christmas. I think I’m due next Tuesday or even Wednesday so still a little while left. This weeks dragging 😂🙈

@HopefulGlow @AZ1992X thank you! I do feel more positive having something we can do! Just finished my morning snack of blueberries, yoghurt and walnuts! 😁 I just hope my optimism isn't misplaced but being a bit healthier can only be a good thing anyway.

@LA9610 glad to hear your boss was supportive, though I understand why you might feel odd about it too. I have been wondering whether to tell my boss as I have been struggling around my periods recently. A few times I have asked for time off with a vague 'not feeling well' or been obviously stressed/emotional so part of me thinks it would be good to explain it but I also feel a bit weird about telling him even though I think he would be supportive (but maybe awkward). Especially as we aren't at the treatment stage I feel like he might wonder why I'm telling him. I know some people keep it completely to themselves even when they are going through IVF but I am a bit of an open book... Have already told quite a few people I work with just not my boss 🙈

Sorry to hear AF has arrived @HopefulGlow 🙁 hope you have a cosy, restful day and fingers crossed for this new cycle!

@AZ1992X well I’m still sending you positivity for this cycle! Fingers crossed you get a BFP and it catches you by surprise 🥰

I ended up having a cry 😂 knew it would happen. My OH hasn’t asked if I’ve started, but I’m sure he knows.

I have lots of things to keep me busy though! I’m just kind of nervous about a family do this weekend. My SIL has announced her pregnancy (super early) and I really don’t want to feel like this and ruin anything for her. I need to put my big girl pants on!

Oh gosh that’s awful when it drags, mine always does a week before too! I hope you can keep occupied and busy so it doesn’t slow time too much 😁

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@Nora11 I love yoghurt and berries - I start off most my mornings with that. I try and eat healthier Monday-Friday then have the weekend as my treat days but I have a really bad sweet tooth so end up having the odd biscuit or chocolate in the evening. I suppose it’s about getting the right balance.

I agree I think it can only be a good thing and also knowing you’re proactively doing something will be good mentally too I hope.

@HopefulGlow Thank you! ❤️

That’s completely normal and it’s probably better to get your emotions out rather than trying to hold them in.

That must be hard having an announcement from someone so close, I’m sure that won’t happen. Does she know you’re trying? Sorry if you’ve said before.

I’ve got a long weekend coming up - break up tomorrow, I’ve got quite a few things planned to try and keep busy 😂

@User1400, I felt relieved to begin with but I have social anxiety and soon afterwards was stressing that I had totally over-shared/ come across badly etc. Totally get what you mean about TTC holding you back, i'd like to change my career but feel like I can't do that until I know what will happen as it would involve going back to Uni and I can't sacrifice maternity pay :(

This is my last cycle where I could get pregnant before Christmas too!

@HopefulGlow, Yeah I really didn't want to but then when he asked me directly I felt compelled to say something as i'm not good at lieing! You are right, it probably was a good thing though. It's out now anyway, can't take it back.

Hope your job search goes well and you find something of interest :) Sorry AF arrived, a day on the couch sounds in order.

@AZ1992X - that makes sense, sounds like a sensible time to broach the subject. Hopefully your manager will be supportive too! Sorry to see you had a MC, it must be even harder to stay positive when you've gone through that already. What point in the cycle are you?

@Nora11, yeah I totally understand that. I only told mine because he asked when I am having children (and I partially just wanted to stop him from asking things like that in the future), but if he hadn't I definitely wouldn't have just brought it up. I haven't told anyone I work with though!

I guess if it's not impacting your work in anyway then no particular need to disclose it but if you feel it's impacting your performance due to time off or your ability to focus at work etc. then it may help to open up.

@Nora11 sorry I missed your message before! Thank you 💕 it’s sucks doesn’t it, but it’s a fresh start 🙂

Your breakfast sounds delicious and I may have to grab something similar! I tend to get lazy when I’m feeling down and I struggle to cook and clean as much. But that makes me feel worse.

I did have beans and scrambled tofu on toast haha that’s kind of good? 😂

@AZ1992X it’s okay, I feel bad I don’t remember everything that you all say too! But my memory is shocking and there’s a lot going on 😅 no one apart from my mum knows, and one of my best friends who lives hours away. So we just stay in contact via video messages. She does ask how I am regularly but I feel like I’m always moaning 😅

Your long weekend sounds lovely and very much needed. Do you have anything nice planned?

@LA9610 oh gosh I’m exactly the same! I would answer too, even if I maybe didn’t want to. But you have to remember they are asking from a place of care, so hopefully they keep the chat about it to the minimum. So you are more comfortable with it?

It’s horrible feeling like you’ve over shared isn’t it. I get that quite a lot too, I have to remember it’s all in my head. Everyone is too busy thinking about themselves 😂

I’ve decided to try and make a cake tonight for my nieces birthday 🎂 something to distract me and hopefully make me feel useful.

How’s everyone’s Wednesday going? ✨💕✨

@LA9610 Thank you ❤️, I am worried about it happening again but need to try and stay positive that it’ll be a different outcome next time. I’m currently in the 2ww - due early next week. How are you getting on?

@HopefulGlow I’m glad you’ve been able to tell one or two people so you’re able to talk about it. Plus I’m sure she doesn’t think that!

I’m planning on going out for the day Friday and go out for either lunch or tea/cake then im going into town another day shopping (I secretly hope the Christmas stuff is all out) 😂😂

Do you have anything planned for the weekend?

@HopefulGlow ahh I’m so sorry, sending you lots of love ♥️ Christmas movies and brownies are definitely what today calls for! I’d love a brownie…

And sorry to hear about your UTI too! What a nightmare for you! I hope it’s starting to ease up with your antibiotics.

@LA9610 I almost wish I had told my work way back.. I started a new job in January (almost didn’t take it because I was worried about falling pregnant immediately after I started..) and it’s really physical/hands on/dangerous. Another girl in my team announced she was pregnant a few months ago and is on desk duties, meaning there’s a fair bit of extra work to be done. People can sometimes talk about her as if it’s laziness and I’m there like ehhh please remember there’s a good reason! So I’m really nervous about my boss/team knowing tbh.

@AZ1992X sorry to hear your week is dragging - not too long to go now though! I think days 3/4dpo-9dpo are the worst, no man’s land!!

@User1400 I’m good thank you - missing home, I’m away with work just now and I’m not used to going this long without seeing DH, the dogs and the cat 😂 how’s your week going? Xx