9 months TTC and losing hope

[BritInNZ]

Hi everyone

Anyone else nearing that year mark of TTC and just feeling down and wondering when/if it will happen?

DH and I had a private fertility appointment this month and AMH and SA all good - no obvious reason why we can't conceive. We have to keep trying until January when we hit that year mark and then have more investigations.

I KNOW it can take healthy couples up to a year but it's only 3 cycles away now and I feel like I'm at the stage I don't even hope for a BFP as I know it's not coming.

I just turned 29 and DH is 31, so I know we have some time but it doesn't help when you're wondering what's going wrong.

Currently CD1 so obviously feeling a bit meh anyway, so just looking to chat to others in the same boat as I feel alone and like everyone else gets pregnant quickly ☹️ also visiting in-laws this weekend and when we booked it at the start of the year I was hoping it would be a trip to give them some good news, so that's a bit heartbreaking too.

Mr Amazon CD1 treat has arrived 😂😂 (not pictured: the two FRERs I ordered last night when I was feeling optimistic - not needed now AF came 2 days early!)

@Carla2601 glad you managed to get your results! Great that they all look normal. I also picked mine up today, mostly normal but frustratingly the FSH is missing - it's listed as if it's been done, but the result is just not printed. Oh well, I have an appointment next week so will ask then.

Welcome @Owl86! Sorry you are feeling down right now, you are mid TWW which is often the hardest. You have found us though!

Ladies, I am sitting on the sofa wrapped in a big blanket with a hot water bottle, a bag of crisps, a pint of delicious beer and my new copy of It Starts with the Egg (which no doubt will tell me to ditch the crisps and beer!). Tell me its CD1 without telling me it's CD1 😂

Just realised that this month I've gone back to a 9day Luteal phase which is a bit frustrating. I had lots of 8/9 day LPs at the start (way back when) but it had managed to get to 12 days the last few cycles. Only thing that's changed is I took less B6 and VitC this cycle which are supposed to help lengthen, so guess I'll go back to my previous dosage. Anyone else got a short LP?

Right back to this beer!

@Aubyone sorry AF arrived! Enjoy the blanket and beer - sounds like a nice autumn night in! And let us know what you think of the book? I thought it was great and very informative. Didn't make me panic about throwing all my plastic stuff away but made me think of what I could change, e.g. buying a steel water bottle, not using perfume and not painting my nails. I find the nutrition stuff a bit bleh, because I always cook from scratch and eat lots of veggies and have a nice varied diet. So I don't think there's too much I can change there (especially as fresh veggies and fish is soooo expensive in NZ!)

Found the supplements bit really helpful too. Just find being in control of the things I can really helps me deal with this all mentally 😊

@Tinkerbell098 you’re an actual angel TYSM for clarifying - I thought that but it’s fairly difficult to get a good read from google.

@Aubyone glad your results are also normal but frustrating on your missing one - hopefully they’ll shed some light next week! Sorry you got A/F and you’re on CD1 but sounds like you’re doing a really good job of making it a good one....you’ve earned the beer!

@Owl86 welcome - sorry you’re here but everyone is SO nice and helpful so you found a good thread. @BritInNZ really created a 10/10 group!

Hi @BritInNZ, thanks so much for the welcome. 😊 I know a few ladies with septate uteruses (or is that uteri?!) who went on to have successful pregnancies, so hopefully it's nothing much to worry about. It's positive you have a referral though.

It's a good question about whether I could get the tests done on the NHS. The wait for a HyCoSy is likely to be long, and I'm told AMH isn't routinely offered. It's possible I can get prolactin and progesterone done, though the GP I spoke to last said the NHS doesn't offer Day 21 blood tests anymore because they're "considered old-fashioned"?! That's clearly not true!

Yes, you're right about some cycles being harder than others. I was the most chilled I've ever been last month, but now I've swung the other way!

Hi @Tinkerbell098, thank you. Interesting that your DH has slightly elevated viscosity too. Mine's also increased his water intake, but obviously we can't really tell if it's making any difference. Not too worried though, given the motility was still good. Glad you're on the fertility clinic waiting list. I might ask if I can get referred now rather than after Christmas, though when I last asked I was told they wouldn't refer till 12 months because at that point I was still 34. Might see if I can try my luck with someone else...

@Aubyone Thank you. You're right that this point of the TWW is usually the hardest. I tend to have hope till about 5 DPO and then completely give up from 6 DPO onwards, which I know isn't particularly rational. 😂 Sorry you're on CD1 again. Sod what the book says and enjoy the crisps and beer for today! Interested to hear what you make of it though, it's on my radar.

@Owl86 I'd get AMH levels done and 21 days bloods. Those were the very first tests I did before I even started ttc. Surprised drs haven't offered them yet if you're finding it challenging to fall pregnant x

They're not expensive either. Good luck

@Owl86 not sure if it’s regional to deem it “old fashioned” but I’m awaiting day 21 bloods. My GP booked me in for these with the practice nurse so GPs are still doing them. She said once she has my blood results and results of OH’s SA in writing she will refer me to fertility clinic as I’m 37 TTC for 8 months. Good luck x

The saga of post-COVID vaccine continues... two days of the heaviest AF I've had in years and then it suddenly stops 😂 so I had the shortest AF I've ever had, even if it was horrific at the time! Because my cycles are messed up I have no idea when I will ovulate, so going to go with the every other day strategy this month and get back on temping.

Ah @BritInNZ that's frustrating, interesting how much the vaccine has impacted some people's cycles! (still a good thing though ofc!). It didn't impact mine. At least it's over and you'll soon be trying again.

I read a good section of ISWTE last night - I like it! I think I had assumed it would freak me out a bit re: plastics/supplements but actually it's worded well and it's clear that cutting just a little BPA/BPA like materials can be a) helpful and b) not that hard. I use quite a lot of plastic in the kitchen including things I microwave and store hot food in and plastic kettle so I am just gonna replace my tupperware and my (already half broken) kettle for now. I also wear vinyl disposable gloves quite often in one of my jobs, which I could easily change to a different kind. Supplement wise, the only thing I really need to add is Ubiquonal and increase VitD. I actually feel like doing something different will be good for me - as you keep saying, just to feel psychologically that I am doing all I can. And most of these changes would have other health/eco benefits too so no harm.
Thanks for recommending!

Have a good Thursday all (although I guess Fri in NZ?!). I love NZ btw, well - I have been once, have some family there.

That all sounds good and informative @Aubyone , did the say how much of Vit D? I do take it and want to take more but obvs without overdoing it.

PS it's Thursday night in NZ (I'm a neighbour in Aus)

Vaccine impact my cycles too, period was few days late first month and then a week early second month! Usually like clockwork. But on the third month I conceived so in my case it's almost vaccine helped me get pregnant x

@Carla2601 Thanks for the welcome. 😊

@laurenGame Thank you, my GP said they don't offer Day 21 bloods anymore and I doubt I'll be able to get AMH done on the NHS either. So reckon I'll be looking at getting them done privately, unless I can speak to a different GP.

@Borolass84 Yeah, I know loads of women on here manage to get Day 21 bloods on the NHS so I did raise an eyebrow when I was told I couldn't have it done. Mind you, the same GP also told me I'd have to TTC for 3 YEARS (?!) before they could refer me to the fertility clinic, so I'm not exactly convinced he had a clue what he was talking about... I'll try asking a different GP. Wishing you the best of luck too!

@BritInNZ Sorry to hear the vaccine seems to have messed with your cycles, that must be so frustrating. Hopefully they'll settle down soon.

@Aubyone Glad you're finding ISWTE helpful so far, I think I know what I'll be spending some of my 35th birthday money on. 😂 I actually started researching Ubiquinol while having breakfast this morning and fell down a Google rabbit hole... I ended up very confused so I'll have to come back to it later!

I have a habit of sleep talking and DH tells me last night's utterances at 2:30am were: "What the hell is wrong with me?! I think I'm going mad!" Yep, just about sums up my mental state right now... 😂

@Owl86 definitely push for a Day 21 test as that's the first thing my GP suggested doing and seems that most on here have had one done too so should be pretty standard on the NHS. I don't think they're that expensive either. I haven't had an AMH done though, as my GP never suggested that, so might ask for one. 3 years?? that's absurd! Don' think he knows what he's talking about.

Sorry I'm lagging behind!

@Carla2601 great work and they do all sound normal which is great news!

@Owl86 sounds like we are in a similar situation! I obviously get feeling down about the birthday. Some cycles are harder than others and I don't think birthdays help when TTC, which is pretty sad. I actually get spotting before my period as well, normally from about 10DPO. I've similarly been told it's nothing to worry about and shouldn't stop me getting pregnant, but I have a feeling it's not good. Also if GP won't do progesterone test I did mine privately with medichecks, was really easy and I think only about £40 so not bad.

On AMH levels - have peoples GP tested this? Mine hasn't mentioned it and I spoke to my fertility acupuncturist about it (feel like a loser using that term, not sure why, like I think I'm fancy!) she said AMH only really relevant if you're getting IVF. She said it will give you an indication for success an egg retrieval or also if you wanted to delay TTC then it will tell you how long you could do that for. But if you're actually trying now and you know you're ovulating, she said there's no point. And I've heard similar on the podcasts I listen to. Have people been told different?

@BritInNZ vaccine mucked up my cycles too! It's so annoying I was so glad once they were over. How you doing otherwise?

Had a minute so called on the off chance that I would get my results and I did! My progesterone was 60.3 which is normal and indicated ovulation which is good. Prolactin was 193 which is within normal but looks quite low from Googling. Last time it was about 700! Not sure why it would be so different to last time but I guess good news? Going to wait until next week for a doctors appointment so I can officially say that I am over 35 and been trying 9 months (AF due Monday so likely on to month 10) - REFER ME FFS!!

@kmbegs glad your results came back. Yea seems prolactin is a weird one. I might ask to get re-tested as mine was over 1000. You may be right about AMH as my GP didn't test for this so may not be a standard test. Definitely push for a referral as it takes ages to get an appointment. I'm still waiting to hear and it's been three months.

@Tinkerbell098 Thank you, I thought they were standard on the NHS too! Like you say, I don't think the GP really knew what he was talking about...

@kmbegs It does sound like we're in a similar position! My luteal phase is usually 13 or 14 days long, and on cycles when I spot it normally starts around 12DPO. I'm hoping given it starts quite late that it's not too much of a problem, but I do wish I knew what was causing it - especially as it's only started this year. Ultrasounds showed nothing obvious, though obviously progesterone hasn't been checked yet. I wondered about cervical ectropian but I wouldn't have thought that would have a cyclical pattern to it? And the nurse didn't mention anything at my January smear.

Yeah, I spotted the Medichecks Day 21 test so I think I'll do that if no luck with the GP. I've also noticed that the Proov urine strips are now available in the UK (about £30), though the reviews seem a bit mixed so might stick with a blood test.

Glad you asked about AMH tests as to be honest I'm a bit confused about this too! My understanding from my own research is the same as what your acupuncturist said, so I'm not entirely clear on the reasons for getting the test done right now given I'm actively TTC naturally. As nothing can be done about low egg reserves, I'm worried all it'll do is stress me out more if the result is bad. Unless low reserves mean you should pursue IVF sooner that you might've done otherwise? Does anyone know?

The endocrinologist I'm seeing for my thyroid also suggested an AMH test as a next step, which made me doubt my understanding and wonder if I should get one. He didn't explain the rationale though, so I might ask if I see him again soon.

@Owl86 the comment about 3 years sounds scary/ridiculous but I think there is some truth in it, if they are talking about referral for NHS treatment, particularly NHS IVF. In some regions (mine included), if you don't have certain diagnoses which would make you eligible right away then you have to have had three years of 'unexplained' infertility. It differs region to region though, some CCGs say 2 years. This is part of the reason I am hoping that for us either a) we get lucky soon! or b) there's something diagnosably wrong that allows us to have NHS treatment or I guess c) we win the lottery and go private! 3 years seems unimaginable, although I realise that is the reality for some couples.

Re: AMH - my GP hasn't mentioned this and my vague impression (from the internet) is that in order to measure ovarian reserve they oan use FSH levels, counting follicles on an ultrasound or AMH and the first 2 are more commonly done here in the UK (maybe different if IVF).

@kmbegs great you got your results. Hope you manage to get a referral, seems like a pretty strange birthday present but I can understand! Although I guess do still be positive that at 9months, there is still a reasonably good chance it will all work out within next few months! Sorry I can't remember, has your partner had SA done?

My DH went for SA yesterday and found the experience quite unpleasant and I hope he doesn't have to do too many more. I do feel for him, but I know we have it a LOT worse.

Have just ordered a shitload of new supplements, the price of Ubiquinol is staggering but I'm taking the hit for a month...no way can I afford to take 400mg a day as suggested in ISWTE. I will take 200mg and have to buy it month by month.

Thanks @Owl86 best of luck to you too. Yeah I agree 3 years TTC is a long time. Hope you get some more answers from a different GP

@owl. If you don’t mind me asking how much is a session with the fertility acupuncturist please? Just wanting a rough estimate as I’m considering doing this too :)

@kmbegs the doctor should refer you as they said they would with me once my blood results and OH’s SA come back. I was honest and said TTC 8 months

@Aubyone true about Ubiquinol. I have recently started taking Proceive Max which contains CoQ10. Not sure what the difference is between these two. But these sachets are also not cheap. Was going to try for three months as won't be able to afford forever.

@Aubyone my husband hasn't done his SA yet actually, he was lined up to do it during our last fertile window so I told him to cancel it (you can't have sex for two days) so need to get him to reschedule. It's a good point, I doubt they'll refer me without that so will remind him. And definitely still hopeful it'll happen naturally, but also conscious a referral will take months so would rather know that was happening.

@Aubyone good luck for the SA results. Honestly I have no sympathy for men who complain about SAs, they must have absolutely no idea what we go through every month!

@Borolass84 my fertility acupuncturist is £50 a session. I go about every other week. I have found it helpful guiding me through tests and helping me to understand my cycle etc, but I think you could do it on your own too. Worth a try though!

@Aubyone glad you're finding ISWTE helpful! That's exactly how I felt too. I feel like it has chilled me out much more this cycle knowing I'm doing what I can and that's all I can do.

It's Friday morning now in NZ. Yes I love it here too - moved over a couple of years ago with now-husband and don't think I ever want to live back in the UK!