9 months TTC and losing hope

[BritInNZ]

Hi everyone

Anyone else nearing that year mark of TTC and just feeling down and wondering when/if it will happen?

DH and I had a private fertility appointment this month and AMH and SA all good - no obvious reason why we can't conceive. We have to keep trying until January when we hit that year mark and then have more investigations.

I KNOW it can take healthy couples up to a year but it's only 3 cycles away now and I feel like I'm at the stage I don't even hope for a BFP as I know it's not coming.

I just turned 29 and DH is 31, so I know we have some time but it doesn't help when you're wondering what's going wrong.

Currently CD1 so obviously feeling a bit meh anyway, so just looking to chat to others in the same boat as I feel alone and like everyone else gets pregnant quickly ☹️ also visiting in-laws this weekend and when we booked it at the start of the year I was hoping it would be a trip to give them some good news, so that's a bit heartbreaking too.

Hey all.

I hope you guys don't mind me joining. I have been trying for a year and a half + and whilst we have been pregnant 3 times, we are still without a baby.

I had a MC in May 2020, Nov 2020 and most recently and ectopic in May 2021 which resulted in my right tube being removed.

We are onto cycle #5 now and I am really really struggling again.

I feel like I cannot speak to any family/friends about it anymore as I just feel like I am going around in circles and have said it all prior and now repeating myself. Trying not to speak to my DH either as I know he is struggling also.

My cycles are still longer than they should be despite me loosing the 10lbs I put on from emotional eating after my operation. I am on CD17 with no sign of ovulation on my Ovulation Tests and I just feel deflated and crap about it. If it all isn't hard enough without also having longer cycles that play with your mind each month.

We are going to think about looking into IVF in the new year as we are just so worn down with everything - we are lucky enough to have the monies to pay for it privately.

Any words of wisdom from any of you seeing as you have been trying for a fair while?

Thanks in advance! Xx

@kmbegs it’s not silly honestly....it’s because of the message that 35 is a milestone for fertility (which is of course different for everyone but it’s natural to feel it). Those sound like the perfect plans you’ve made for yourself and I hope you manage to really enjoy them ☺️ X

@Louise276 welcome, I’m so so sorry to hear about your losses, sounds horrendous and I’m sorry you’ve been through all this. I know IVF feels scary as we’re heading that way too but I’m hoping given how much we want this is won’t be as bad as I’m expecting (likely wishful thinking).

This is such a lovely thread and great group of people and you can 100% chat away about it all here and always get supportive replies x

@Louise276 I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriages and ectopic, what a time of it you've had. But welcome to the group and hopefully we can all give you space and understanding here to support you. I understand not being able to talk to friends and family, and I just bore my husband to absolute tears. It's great to have a place here to get it all out. Have you ever been given any reason for the miscarriages or are they able to look into this for you? Hopefully you've had good support. And IVF sounds scary but if it does happen then it's a step closer to your baby.

@Carla2601 thank you! I have of course convinced myself this will be the month but good to have a plan for when I inevitably get AF!

@BritInNZ I don't even know what raised prolactin means and I've spent hours looking into it! I see a fertility acupuncturist and she hasn't been much help, basically said it could be stressed and just re test and take it from there. So that's what I'm doing. The only tests the GO have ordered is thyroid, progesterone and prolactin so at least it's on their radar as a thing to check. Hopefully I'll know more on Friday.

I'm so sad that you've cried in the work loos! Luckily with the pandemic I've been at home since we started trying so I can hide away if I need to. The bad part is when I'm quiet at work I can easily spend hours endlessly googling or staring at my BBT charts and it's so unhelpful for me but I cannot help it!

Sorry to hear about the v heavy AF, hope it eases soon.

@kmbegs oh don’t you worry I did the same (I’d been sick at a party before I’d had a drink and fallen asleep in the tipi at 9.30 but turned out I was just I’ll!!) buuuuuut I’m keeping everything crossed this is your month! I’ll be chuffed as soon as one you gets a BFP again x

@BritInNZ I hear you on the loo crying....someone brought their (incredibly cute) little boy into work today and he made a beeline for me and gave me a hug and she said oh he loves blondes I knew he’d want to sit with you. I didnt know he was coming in and once he’d gone I had to bawl my eyes out quietly in the loo.....see you can always rely on me to make you feel like you’re a tad less mad 😂😂😂

Evening ladies,

I've recently decided to rejoin Mumsnet and been reading a couple of groups, it's really comforting but crappy to know that 'you' aren't the only person who doesn't get pregnant the first time you have unprotected sex.

Seen a couple of mentions recently of Prolactin, thought I'd come out the shadows as this is something I've had a crash course in after finding out I had levels sky high.

Basically high prolactin CAN (not does) mess up your ability to ovulate.

High levels can be caused by a number of factors, like breast feeding, and as mentioned stress, but it can also be caused by a noncancerous tumor of the pituitary gland called a Prolactinoma, which then causes overproduction of Prolactin.

There are different symptoms but I had non I knew of. I had regular periods, like clockwork.

I had to have a cannulated blood test, so you have a cannula inserted, and blood regularly taken for 2 hours at hospital, this combined with an MRI helps diagnose the cause.

I've been put on meds as it's not stress, Cabergoline, which should help lower the prolactin levels. During which time, they have sent me for 21 day bloods to see if I'm likely ovulating by checking my progesterone levels.

Hope that kinda helps answer some questions, sorry for the long message.

Hope November brings lots of BFP's for you all. X

@02Carol welcome to the group! How long have you been trying for?

Thanks for the prolactin info, that's really interesting. Fingers crossed that the meds do the job and that's what has been getting in the way for you. Can I ask - did anything come back on the MRI? I can't remember if I said this but I see a fertility acupuncturist and she said that your prolactin level needs to be in the thousands for it to possible be a brain issue, otherwise it's likely stress, and my result was 630 so she said stress. To be honest I wasn't convinced she knew much about it! So I'm glad my GP is testing as well and to get his opinion. Good to know that meds can bring it down either way.

Welcome @Louise276 and I'm sorry to hear of your losses, what a rough 18momths you have had. Thanks for joining us here and hope we can be of some support even if just as some women who understand (some of!) what you are going through.

Welcome also @02Carol and really interesting about prolactin, thanks. My biology knowledge has definitely increased a lot since ttc! Our bodies really are fascinating aren't they (although frustrating when they don't behave how you'd like them to). Hope the meds work well for you!

@BritInNZ sorry about the long cycle and now heavy period to top it off! Hopefully you are feeling positive about this next cycle and sounds like you really are doing everything you can ahead of that Jan appointment. I figure with these supplements that so long as theres no evidence that they can harm, then even if they don't result in BFP they are bound to be good for energy, skin etc!

CD1 here for me today! Also have a stinking cold and sore throat (not covid) - which is particularly problematic for me because 2 of my jobs (I have lots of bitty PT jobs rather than 1 FT job) involve me projecting my voice to big groups and being generally cheery and loud! Fortunately not working this morning.

DH has his SA today - I think he's a bit nervous at the results, but we've been keeping it v light hearted, we both find the idea of him having to do his thing into a small container in a random room quite amusing. Having to do it has really focused his attention on the whole process though - think he's been a bit removed from the day to day of it (which I'm fine with I don't want both of us obsessing!) but this is the 1st end of cycle (of 12) that his reaction was actually a bit sad, rather than 'oh well, more sex!' which was beginning to irritate me!

Looking forward to my beer this eve (despite being ill ) and got my fave wine for the weekend and we've just randomly decided to book meal out on Saturday in a nice new restaurant we've seen. Tbh although I am a bit down about AF, I do always get a bit of relief from the certainty of 'for the next 2 weeks I know for certain I am not pregnant' - if anyone knows what I mean?

Sorry for the essay! X

I got my day 21 (which was actually day 19 for me) results and they’re normal. Anyone else had this? Receptionist said ‘great news no action’ I said I’m still not pregnant so I think I do still need some action.....more tests Monday so should know if all hormones and bloods normal by eonw I guess

@Carla2601 ask for the actual result! I was also told "normal result no action" but it turned out the result was 1 which indicates no ovulation. I actually knew this would be the case because my (old) GP had insisted on testing me on actual day 21 even though I knew I hadn't ovulated yet. So ask for the result and check it yourself but also speak to them about the result and what now, although maybe wait for your other results first? It's all so bloody difficult isn't it!

@Carla2601 definitely ask for the result! This is exactly what the receptionist told me when I rang up. I then looked at the results which said abnormal on one of the tests (Prolactin), which is how I managed to get the GP to refer me to fertility clinic. What other tests are they doing on Monday?

Hannah witton has a YouTube channel about her journey, the series is called the hormone diaries, she's pregnant now, but it took her about a year, they're also quite young, 30ish I believe. It's worth a watch

@kmbegs and @Tinkerbell098 tysm - shall I go into the surgery and try to get a print out? How will I know if they’re normal? Sorry to be dumb!

@Carla2601 just call reception again and ask to for the number then either have a Google or tell us - sadly I know so much about all this I'll be able to tell you if it's normal or not and I'm sure others could too.

And it's not dumb at all, you only get to know this stuff from experience with it.

@Carla2601 it's not being dumb at all! I didn't know how to either. I had to log into my NHS app and register my GP details and there is a section on there to look at test results. They had done three tests and two were normal and one was abnormal. The receptionist must have only looked at one of them, and said no further action is necessary. I was fuming!

Ok, I walk past on my way home so I’m going to go in and get a print out as they ran loads of tests. I’ll google and then if I can’t figure it out I’ll come back to you both. Thank you again! X

This is why this group is fantastic - thanks everyone for helping @Carla2601! I also never got my full results but my fertility specialists said all was fine and I trust him more over my GP!

I got them! Need to google but as you’ve all been so bloomin wonderful I felt like I should share:

Progesterone: 38 (normal)
FSH: 4.1 (normal) - there is more detail under this
LH: 4.9 (normal) - also more detail here
Prolactin: 246
TSH: 1.16
T4: 16.3
Ferritin: 25

That’s not me saying it’s normal that’s what’s written x

Hi all, can I join? TTC #1 since January and currently in Cycle 9. I just turned 35 at the weekend so @kmbegs I know how you're feeling!

As yet, there's no glaringly obvious reason why I'm not getting pregnant. I have regular 27-29 day cycles and get all the signs of ovulation, so I'm confident we're getting the timing right. I've had a few ultrasounds which were clear, apart from a polycystic left ovary (which I was told is a common finding and doesn't mean PCOS in my case).

DH had an SA earlier in the year, and all looked good apart from a slightly elevated viscosity - but the clinic wasn't worried as it didn't seem to be affecting his sperm motility.

But these may or may not be affecting things:

1. Subclinical (mild) hypothyroidism - picked up incidentally in a blood test back in May, no real symptoms but now being treated with levothyroxine and waiting for my levels to stablilise in the optimal range for TTC.

1. FSH - I was told my CD4 result was "normal", but Dr Google tells me it's high for my age so I'm worried it could indicate low ovarian reserve.

1. Luteal phase spotting - doesn't happen every cycle but sometimes I lightly spot on and off for a few days before my period. I've read it can be normal and my GP is unconcerned, but makes me wonder a little about progesterone.

1. Possible adenomyosis - I was told I might have this during an ultrasound about 5 years ago, but the gynaecologist wasn't concerned (said it wouldn't affect fertility?) and I have no symptoms. Plus no one's mentioned anything during subsequent ultrasounds.

Our plan is to keep trying for the next few cycles and then get some private tests early next year. Probably a HyCoSy, progesterone, prolactin (hypothyroidism can raise this), and maybe AMH given my FSH result. I'll also ask my GP about an NHS fertility clinic referral, but I suspect the wait in this area will be loooooong!

6/7 DPO at the mo and feeling pretty down this cycle to be honest. I think turning 35 hasn't helped (even though I know it doesn't change anything overnight!) and today one of my close friends announced the arrival of her second. I'm obviously super happy for her, but these sorts of things just bring up so many emotions, don't they?

Sending everyone lots of luck, strength and empathy. I haven't had a chance to read through the whole thread yet so I'll try to get up to speed soon! x

@Owl86 welcome to the group and sorry to hear it's also taking you a while to fall pregnant. We started TTC around the same time as you - after we got married in February. First couple of months 'trying but not trying' but since then we've been properly trying. Also had all the same tests as you and nothing glaringly obvious as to why it's not happening but I did discover I have a septate uterus, which I'm waiting for a referral for. Fertility specialist wasn't concerned though.

As you're now over 35 I wonder if you can get all these tests on the NHS? Not sure how it works as I'm based in NZ. I had to pay to see a fertility specialist but all the tests themselves were free here, so all up only cost me equivalent to £150.

I think we all have cycles where we feel down. I was the same last month but feeling a bit more relaxed this month.

Everyone here is really supportive so welcome 😊

@kmbegs

I had been trying for 7 months, I'm 38 now. Was trying for 1st child.

I'm sure with levels under the 800 you won't need meds and it's probably stress with all this TTC, they don't warn you about the craziness that comes with it.

@Carla2601 yes it all looks normal to be honest. So that's good news. Have they referred you to the fertility clinic yet?

@Owl86 Hi, welcome to the group! I am also new here. Turned 36 a couple of months ago so I know how you feel. My DH also had a SA result that said a slight increase in viscosity and was advised to drink more water. Other than that was all OK. I have been referred to the NHS clinic, but am on the waiting list and was told this could take 6 months. Worth getting referred now if you can.