9 months TTC and losing hope

[BritInNZ]

Hi everyone

Anyone else nearing that year mark of TTC and just feeling down and wondering when/if it will happen?

DH and I had a private fertility appointment this month and AMH and SA all good - no obvious reason why we can't conceive. We have to keep trying until January when we hit that year mark and then have more investigations.

I KNOW it can take healthy couples up to a year but it's only 3 cycles away now and I feel like I'm at the stage I don't even hope for a BFP as I know it's not coming.

I just turned 29 and DH is 31, so I know we have some time but it doesn't help when you're wondering what's going wrong.

Currently CD1 so obviously feeling a bit meh anyway, so just looking to chat to others in the same boat as I feel alone and like everyone else gets pregnant quickly ☹️ also visiting in-laws this weekend and when we booked it at the start of the year I was hoping it would be a trip to give them some good news, so that's a bit heartbreaking too.

@Carla2601 coq10 is the top recommendation in the book 'it starts with the egg' - it's amazing for egg quality. She recommends buying the ubiquinol version though, so it's quite pricey. But I will try anything now 😂

@Carla2601 CoQ10 works to protect our cells and decrease the damaging effects of free radicals on our reproductive system. CoQ10's antioxidant properties and its contribution to cell energy production help to improve the quality of sperm and egg cells.
We are waiting for next window to try the pre seed although I’ve been warned not to use too much so may gradually build up. Hope yours and OH results come back OK. It’s the waiting that’s awful just keep thinking is it my eggs etc

Sorry for the copy/paste job regarding definition but it was easier than typing it all out lol ;)

@BritInNZ apparently I read somewhere that ubiquinol is just a stronger version of CoQ10 therefore if you needed a dose of 100mg you would take 50mg of the ubiquinol for example.

Accupunture can help ( so I’m told and relatively cheap)

Oh amazing thanks - which brand/website do
you use? Seems like there’s loads of choices!

@Carla2601 we haven’t started them yet (delivery should be some day this week). Not sure on brands but so long as desired amount in the ingredients is correct I can’t see a problem with brand. For example: supermarkets antihistamine will have same ingredients as big brands like Piriton, so I envisage that CoQ10 would be the same principle.

@Carla2601 there's some recommendations on the 'it starts with the egg' website: itstartswiththeegg.com/supplements/

The book said that you can have higher dose of ubiquinone but there is evidence it still isn't as well absorbed as a lower dose of ubiquinol 😊

@Carla2601 p.s. don't just start taking supplements listed there! You need them catered to your specific circumstances 😊

@Nsky yes I’ve heard the same. I’m willing to try that as well despite being funny with needles ha. Kind of killing two birds with one stone so to speak as it’s good for fertility and weight loss.

I knew someone who as undergoing Chinese medicine to support an ivf baby at 44 ( I think accupunture too).
I was there for menopasal support

[quote Borolass84]@BritInNZ apparently I read somewhere that ubiquinol is just a stronger version of CoQ10 therefore if you needed a dose of 100mg you would take 50mg of the ubiquinol for example.[/quote]
Have you read it starts with the egg? This isn't what she says at all. She said some people think that's correct but actually ubiquinol is absorbed so much better, so actually bang for your buck it's better to get that.

I’ve been taking the attached since around the end of September. Maybe I should switch? It’s a high absorption and not inexpensive as you can see. We both take it.

@BritInNZ tysm for the links ive ordered the doctors best one....will obvs let you know if it works!

I also read the "it starts with the egg" book last month and am taking everything she recommends - it's definitely pricey. Would recommend the book which I think @BritInNZ has mentioned a few times as well, and you really do need to read it to work out what's best for you. A big incentive for me is that I know I'm going to find it hard if I end up in 2022 without being pregnant so I figure if I can at least know that I've got a few months of good supplement taking in me then it should give me some hope.

I'm just home from getting blood taken for progesterone and prolactin testing - will get results Friday. I did both of these privately last month and prolactin came back waaaaay above normal. Thankfully my GP already said to test me for that (after I bought the private test though annoyingly) so interested to hear the outcome and what the GP thinks.

I know I keep mentioning it but I turn 35 on Sunday and my period is due Monday and I'm trying to relax but this month just feels like A LOT. Been trying 9 months so if this cycle doesn't work I think I'm (technically) clinically infertile from Monday (as I'll be over 35 and trying for over 6 months)! I'll be glad when it's done so I can just look forward.

I know it shouldn't matter but the Lucy Meck announcement hit me hard. It's probably just because of turning 35 but her baby is 20 months and she'll already be at least 3 months along so it's hard to imagine it was that much of a struggle. But you never know, and like someone else said you shouldn't compare.

@FlyOnTheWall89 it feels like I'm going through the same as you. We have been trying for over a year now, but probably religiously for 10 cycles. I am 36. I have very regular cycles, so no obvious symptoms of anything, yet keep failing every month. I have joined this forum as I feel like I'm alone in this and it's good to be able to talk things through with others going through a similar thing. Hope we can all help each other.

@kmbegs you are me last month! Af was due on my 35th birthday and it’s the worst so I know how you feel. I phoned on my birthday and got an appointment which felt like something. I also refused to go out for a birthday dinner and ate chips on the sofa crying....do better than me please 😂. I jest, I guess what I mean is take that day and manage as best you can. I went out with my work friends the next day and had a lovely evening. Don’t pressure yourself into having to do birthday stuff if you’re not up to it. AF due for me Friday so I’m sure I’ll be here to commiserate if needed x

@kmbegs It's interesting as my prolactin test came back abnormal (way over the reference amount) and my GP has made a referral to the fertility clinic (yet to hear back from them as the waiting list is about 6 months apparently!). I am 36 and have been trying for over a year now, so slowly starting to lose hope. Let me know if you hear back about your prolactin test.

@Carla2601 oh I remember this but don't think I realised it was your 35th. It seems so silly doesn't it? I have heaps of friends who had babies at over 35 and even over 40, yet it feels like a bit of a fertility milestone. Thank you for the advice - I'm just hoping AF doesn't come early so I can enjoy the day and distract myself. I've also taken the day AF is due off and have booked a hair cut and a massage. I figured I will want to mope and wallow a bit, which isn't like me but I just want to give myself the space to do it for one day.

@Tinkerbell098 I will let you know, if you haven't heard from me on Friday remind me as I'll be calling them first thing for results. Prolactin seems to be a weird one, I'm not sure what they can do about it? Apparently if it's mega high (in the thousands) it could mean a brain issue (easily fixed though) but moderate can just mean stress?! Did you get any insights? I'll let you know what they say.

@Tinkerbell098 hope all goes ok with your test results :)

@kmbegs also good luck with your results. I get my blood results on 25th so I’m trying not to think about it in the meantime which is easier said than done ha

Hi ladies just catching up

@kmbegs hope you have a great birthday, definitely treat yourself and do something fun and very non ttc related!

Lots of you mentioning CoQ10/Ubiquinol and It starts with the egg . They are both sitting in my Amazon basket waiting for me to click buy when AF arrives (unfortunately I think tomorrow).

I am 9DPO but temp is dropping and I've had spitting last couple of days, and I caved and did a cheapie test this afternoon (negative) and just feel it's not likely this month. That would be Cycle 12 over. DH has his SA tomorrow and I have a phone app at 'Reproductive Health' next week so there is some progress there. I don't know why, but I've spent the morning watching videos on YouTube of couples who have been through all sorts of long infertility journeys - why am I watching these?! In some ways it nice to see they're happy endings but also so many of them had to go through so much, it scares me a little. But you do whatever you have to do to just keep going I guess. Anyway, not sure I'd recommend and I definitely wouldn't recommend you tuning 'emotional pregnancy announcements to family' NOT what my pre-AF hormonal brain needed today!

Is it bad that my mind is now just turning towards the lovely bottles of red wine we have in the cupboard and how much I am going to enjoy them if /when AF arrives this week?!

Take care ladies, I really feel for all of you and nice to find some people in similar time frames/just starting testing. Xxx

@kmbegs thanks, yes will remind you. Good luck with the results. Hope everything is ok. Yes, it was just over 1000, and I've heard this can also be a sign of PCOS although my cycles are very regular and OPKs have also confirmed that. But people with PCOS can also have regular cycles, so I'm not ruling that out. My GP hasn't really commented on it other than referring me to the febrility clinic. Please let me know what you hear from them too. It'll be good to know.

@Borolass84 thank you! good luck with your journey xx

@Aubyone I know how you feel. We've been trying for over 12 cycles too and every month I watch all these videos during the TWW, it's quite sad really, but comforting to know I'm not alone. Hope we all get some good news this month. Stay positive x

@Carla2601 glad you got some ordered! 😊 fingers crossed for us!

@kmbegs yes my main thing is I want to get to that year mark knowing I have done everything I can. There's only so much I can control and this is one of them. It's helping me deal with it mentally, thinking of it in that way.

Yes, what does high prolactin mean? I've never even heard of it!

Of course it will feel like a lot, go easy on yourself. It's okay to feel like this. The whole 'scientifically infertile' thing is SO scary and sad. I'm dreading January for that reason too. Hopefully being 35 they'll hurry up with investigations etc though? Taking the day off to feel your feelings seems ideal - it's so tough when you're at work and you're miserable! I can't count the amount of times I've cried in the work loos 😂

@Aubyone hopefully AF doesn't arrive for you! But yes definitely recommend the book and the top thing she recommends is COQ10 so that's a positive thing to focus on for the next cycle (if you need it!).

I think we all torture ourselves in some way during the TWW, don't worry it's not just you! If it's quiet at work I always end up down a rabbit hole and completely miserable afterwards. And it's definitely not bad to think of that vino, whatever gets you through!

I'm having a horrific period, soooo heavy. Can't say I'm surprised after being a week late! Luckily it's been pretty painless which is good. Husband keeps laughing at how many vitamins I take a day - I now take 8 tablets a day 😂 just said to him I want to go to our fertility appointment in January knowing I've done everything I can!