Shackets from yesteryear, baltic crotches ❄️ and lots of ostriches 🐦 TTC bus 48

[bez91]

It’s been thirteen million years & Minster & the good time crew are still here…its September, autumn in full swing and we haven’t done too bad so far this month compared to previous months but I still think we are owed ladies.

Oh and we don’t just talk TTC, we’ll chat about anything. In fact that’s positively encouraged cos TTC can be bloody boring sometimes!

It costs an embarrassing life (or TTC) story for your ticket please then you can hop on board

Agency bus driver at the wheel.…

All aboard bus number 48

Plugging @minster2012 blog \\\___, we’ve had cancer, travels & ivf so need to get to the fun stuff, more ivf, surrogacy and more! #shamelessplug
minstermusings.co.uk for the blog that’s where the full stuff happens
& minstermusings on insta - some of our ladies have made special anonymous accounts so we can link up via me 🥰 so if Insta gets mentioned it’s there

If you want to sign up & get updates please do, please note your username if you comment shows up to others so maybe make it anonymous I won’t be offended 😂🤣(unless you are mean)

I am having a wobble today. AF was predicted today/tomorrow so either 14 or 15dpo. I tested again this morning and got a bfp but it doesn't seem as strong as previous ones, although I feel like I might be splitting hairs (line was slightly lighter in the first few mins than previous ones but a second line did show up straightaway). I also feel like my symptoms aren't as strong (mainly my boobs don't feel as sore). I still have some slight cramping and I haven't slept for more than 4 hours a night for the past few nights so definitely think the lack of sleep is a contributing factor to why I'm feeling so anxious right now.

We got the results from DH's SA yesterday, he had very poor volume and concentration, and only had a morphology rate of 1% :( part of me thinks that it's not an issue because I have managed to get pregnant, but then I also can't help but think that if his SA results were so poor then it's likely i have a higher risk of miscarriage?? Not sure if anyone has any insight to this?

basically, I am a mess and very scared that I am going to have another chemical or loss. based on LMP I am 4w+2 today and my CP in July/August happened at 4w+5 so I think I'm really in my head about that.

@Minster2012 good luck 🤞
@InkyPaper you are already on their system so hopefully it shouldn't take too long once the results are in!
I'm still yet to speak to them so this cycle is looking unlikely. But god the forms! And the videos. So much to go through! So you can look forwards to that. 🤣

@minster2012 sending the goodest of good vibes ❤️🙏 xx

Thinking of you today @Minster2012

@Minster2012 good luck for today xxx

It doesn't rain it pours sometimes, leak in my bedroom roof last night which was strange, washers broke & pissing out water, and hub went into attic to see the source of the leak and fell through and damaged his shoulder, I could cry.. so may be quiet lately as life is certainly knowing how to test me both mentally & financially 😭😫

@kaylsd oh no! I hope DH is OK.

@haiyaa I had a feeling grapefruit might be a problem with my thyroid meds so I looked it up and letrozole popped up as being potentially an issue. I feel better after what you said - but I think I'll ay off it for now until after I finish the letrozole. Only 2 more days. I'll ask the nurse at my scan on Friday.

Sorry I'm just gonna paste this from the insta update I've done. We should get the hcg levels back later today to know more.

As expected I knew what DH's reaction would be. He says "we used up all our good luck in my cancer remission & then pushing to make DS a reality. We don't have any luck left for another pregnancy to stay, I'm in a dark place with TTC now and I know we will disagree"

Sorry to be so long, we’ve just got home & they even wanted us to stay to get the blood work results.

So the sonographer said “I’m sorry but it’s not conclusive, I have to put it down as a query molar pregnancy. You’ve got several cystic areas on your endometrium & potential areas of lining breakup. There is a sac there & a yolk sac, but not 6 weeks.”

I pushed her to tell me what the measurements were and potential dates as I know I ovulated a few days later than the LMP would say so I wasn’t expecting 6+1 today. She said maybe 5.5 weeks but it’s inaccurate.

Back to waiting.

A nurse explained that a molar pregnancy is a chromosomally abnormal pregnancy, the doctor then said it’s 2 sperm fertilising an egg. I’d already googled and it says “rare and unusual pregnancy which can’t survive”. So once again they are saying there’s no reason for it, and nothing we can do/did do but just one of those things) which ALWAYS seem to happen to me.

Back out to wait for the doctor. Who we saw at 11 having been there since 8.20. Having taken my not so easy medical history he again said there is no reason why I shouldn’t have normal pregnancies it’s just been bad luck. Huh thanks.

Had they seen the sac at this stage & not the cysts they’d just think it was early, but the cysts usually suggest molar. BUT in a molar pregnancy HCG is abnormally high & ppl usually have horrendous sickness & pain. I’ve had one day of slight nausea & a few tug pains, nothing abnormal.

Bloods taken & the level of HCG should give more information either way, but it’s 95% likely a rescan in 2 weeks anyway.

Nothing is ever simple for us. DH says we used up all our luck in my cancer remission & then fighting to make our son a reality…we just can’t stay pregnant he says. I really hope he’s wrong.

Sending love to all you ladies in limbo - hoping for the best but fearing the worst 💕

I love this piece from Maya Angelou - made me think of some of you

Oh @Minster2012 what a worry for you, I still have hope that everything is ok and I don’t believe that luck is finite so as amazing as your cancer recovery has been, I still believe there are more good things coming your way. Fingers crossed for nice normal HCG levels to help keep you going for the next two weeks. These 2WW are never ending sometimes eh? ❤️

@Minster2012 just saw your insta, we can do 2 weeks, we can hope

My heart is with you @Minster2012 and we are all here for you during the next two weeks! Putting it out there in the universe that everything will work out for you 🤍🤍🤍

@Minster2012 oh God I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this. The biggest of hugs for you ❤️❤️

@larrythelizard I'll definitely be pushing them if I don't hear anything soon 😂 that quote you posted was lovely

@paintfairy ooh that's good to know 😂 like we haven't filled in enough forms already 😂

@Minster2012 oh no. Not what I was expecting to read. I'm so sorry. And more limbo is not good either! I think sometimes it just takes time. The IVF man basically said to us how many pregnancies are chromosomally abnormal with age, and it is a lot. Not that it makes it easier but it is normal. Very frustrating though and heartbreaking each time it happens. I'm sorry you are here again, it seems so very unfair. Hugs xx

@InkyPaper those forms were nothing! 🤣

Thanks everyone, and @whatwonder I'm sorry the lines don't look reassuring, the older test will be dry & look darker because of that so it doesn't always mean doom and gloom 🤞🏻🤞🏻

@paintfairy / @InkyPaper I remember the forms & online learning (with quizzes ) well! Keep ploughing on

@DKDK123 hang in there

I'll paste my update, sorry my brain can't function much

Update

Well a theoretical update but not really.
I chased at 4pm and at just before 5pm I got told my HCG results don’t help. Still massively inconclusive.

HCG levels “slightly higher than they would expect for 5.5weeks but not really high, certainly not what they would expect for a molar pregnancy”

34,400 hcg

They would have expected 50,000 to 100,000 to indicate a molar pregnancy.

So more inconclusive results & now they still don’t have “a plan” the plan is to get the top consultant sonographer to look at my scan when she’s in tomorrow & ask her advice with discussions with the other consultants. But likely scenario is still a rescan in 2 weeks but by her as there’s nothing conclusive.

Of course we don’t have anything reassuring. That would be simple.

They are still querying “partial molar pregnancy” whatever that then means, but I’m not in any danger, if I bleed though it’s likely to be heavier in molar pregnancies & need to seek help.

If I haven't heard back by mid afternoon to chase them (and I'll be going fucking crazy as per usual)

It's gonna be a looonnngggg two weeks

Plus I want crap food tonight, specifically a Chinese, DH has taken it upon himself to cook something healthier. Sounds like something with tofu. Yayyyyyyy NOT 🤣but the last thing I want tonight is a fight

Oh and that "potential bombshell" at the end of last nights MAFS better not be what we think. It can't be. If it is Then I might just throw something at the tv later 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️not saying in case of spoilers for Ppl but if you've seen it you know what I'm talking about 😝

@Minster2012 I still have everything crossed for you, but it's just such a shitty situation for you, the waiting is torture. Come on little bean ✨💕

@Minster2012 first chance I've had to check in today and just heartbreaking to read your updates. I get what your OH is saying but damn you've had more than your share of heartbreak! Time things went your way. Sorry there is so much inconclusive information. We are standing with you, as always, as you wait x

@Minster2012 I've got everything physically crossed for you with this one darling, I used to nurse women who had molar pregnancy's on my old ward with the difference between partial and full is the fact you've got a yolk sac / fetal tissues present than just abnormal fluid filled cysts which form with complete molar pregnancies (if it is that what they are going down the route of, which I hope it's not of course :( ) I'm litterally hoping for a miracle for you as you deserve the best outcome as this is such a shitty waiting situation for you, sending you lots of hugs and loves to you both xxx
Ps MAFS she better not be already 🙊🤣

Thank you @kaylsd that's interesting to know more about it. Of course I googled molar pregnancies & it's quite dangerous, and only around 1 in 1,000. I'm def gonna hope DH doesn't Google as it mentions the possibility for turning /being cancerous & monitoring for 6 months & not TTC. If he read that there would be no way he'd consider TTC again having any possibility of anything causing any kind of cancer to return. It's not worth the risk. We have a lovely life & are very happy & he'd always say that. Sounds like a "partial" is better (if there is such a thing) but do you think there's a chance the cysts are actually unrelated? Just a weird thing for me cos I'm a bit freaky & can't do things simply???

@Manifestingbaby thank you darling, I really appreciate it and @Justanothercyster and everyone ❤️❤️❤️

@cyclogoose I'll inbox you sweetheart all I know the main bits xxx

@Minster2012 sending you love and rainbows my darling xxx

@kaylsd sorry to hear of DHs injury, what a traumatic day for you. Is the roof leak resolved?

@Minster2012 all the love as you know ❤️ we're all here with you; waiting, holding hands, hugs and all the hope in the world 🫂

[quote bez91]@kaylsd sorry to hear of DHs injury, what a traumatic day for you. Is the roof leak resolved?

@Minster2012 all the love as you know ❤️ we're all here with you; waiting, holding hands, hugs and all the hope in the world 🫂 [/quote]
We've sorted out the leak internally but cannot go on the roof from the rain, here's a hole which DH fell through for show, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry I just went into shock 🙃 he was okay enough to game on FIFA so I believe he's okay 🤣

@kaylsd sounds horrific! Flipping heck.
@Minster2012 I'm a few behind on mafs with me going away! Sorry about the inconclusiveness.

Wow that is quite a hole @kaylsd - I hope he's OK!

I imagine that you and DH are preparing for the worst @Minster2012 - I'm going to be doing all the hoping. I'm hoping cysts are some sort of weird minster special and maybe why you bled so much last time? I am very non medical though! But yeah, I have hope covered off for you. And you're already 1 day in. 13 more to go 💕