TTC 35+ Thread 12

[Misty84]

Hope this works girls, haven’t done this before, we’ve run out of space on the other thread.
@thislittlebird @ElsieG3m @Marvellouslymadmum @KatRee @Anxiouswannabe

@thislittlebird that is SO exciting! Hopefully a relaxing Christmas for you in between not worrying about TTC and 2ww. Xx

@thislittlebird glad it's all getting sorted for you now.

@RugbyGirl1 yes I'm on clomid, who knows what's caused it!! My gp was the same and I'm With fertility now, they're who the clomid is with. I think all men try and avoid their sa lol

@RugbyGirl1 yeah, definitely a relief to see progress. I had my first internal scan and AMH test a year ago in late jan/early Feb. I told myself I wanted to start ivf by April 😂. Completely missed that target!

Your GP sounds great. I had to go to the gynaecologist after the initial GP tests (the first set of which were a mess, they told us they were fine and we lost six months thinking that was correct) which was a three month wait from Feb 2021 (we first saw the GP in July 2020), who then told us to do one when we saw her in May, and we had to go back to the GP in June to refer us directly to the fertility clinic. Wish I’d know a GP could do it, we lost so many months. One of the ladies on this thread and others started the process a similar time to me in the same area and she’ll be due to have her baby around the same time I start ivf 🥴. We had such a shit time, took so long to get any help.

@ElsieG3m it’s great we’re making some progress finally, but I’m not sure I’m ever relaxed 😐. Feels like another can of words might be about to open, but I hope not, or at least I hope it’s a baby shaped can. I’m too old for too many other shaped cans!

@thislittlebird no, of course, and me neither. Nothing about all this is relaxing. Keeping everything crossed for you x

@ElsieG3m thanks! I’m so hoping it goes well and doesn’t cause tons more stress.

I had a weird cm situ yesterday. Not like EWCM, but like my oestrogen might be on the rise 🤔. First month off of Letrozole might be unpredictable, and I’m worried I’ll miss my Ivf slot if it movesforward in the month too much. If it is an oestrogen rise, that means I might be ovulating or trying to ovulate earlyish this month. It’s day 7 today. With Letrozole I would ovulate around day 12 with a trigger, naturally I usually ovulate around day 16-18. Who knows what this month will bring 🤨

@thislittlebird our bodies do like to throw us these curve ball, more often than not! I think I've finally ovulated 🎉 had three days with higher temps though opk still high, if continues I'll get booked in next week for bloods to confirm (day 21 on day 46/47) 😂

@Marvellouslymadmum that’s a long cycle, ugh. It’s certainly frustrating. I was tempted to temp but then thought fuck it, let’s just try every other day or two and hope for the best. Temping hasn’t worked well for me in the past anyway!

My bloody body is now starting to throw some more pre-ovulation signs out there. More CM today but the stuff you get a few days before ovulation, which is just Sod’s law that I’ll get earlier periods than expected now I’m not on Letrozole.

Hi everyone,

Apologies for the radio silence - I’ve had a total mare of a month (bad OH results, dad is seriously ill and my pup had to have a big op).

Just checked in to catch up (apologies if I’ve missed anything!) @thislittlebird I am SO PLEASED to hear you have your date, I hope you can enjoy a break over Xmas and your cycles time right for you and that it’s as straightforward as it can be!! @RugbyGirl1 glad you’re back too ☺️.

My news....terrible OH results (like really terrible). They retested yesterday but my GP (who isn’t great) said my results were good so he won’t do the HSG referral because he basically thinks it’s my OH. Anyway I’ve got an appointment with a fertility clinic on the 16th. No idea what it’s for but hoping they might be able to help some more.

We took a month off this month which has actually felt quite good - I just couldn’t face tracking on top of everything else and at least I know I’m not pregnant so can just get my period without the usual sadness (hopefully anyway).

Hope you’re all doing ok and having nice weekends x

@Carla2601 thanks! sorry to hear the results are bad, are you talking about the sperm analysis? What were they?

That’s very quick to see the fertility clinic, did the GP refer you?

Also sorry to hear about your dad and pup, sounds like a lot at once!

@thislittlebird temping usually works really well for me but this month has just been all over the place! My Lp seems to have steadied itself to around 15 days now so af should be due about 14-17th so at least when it's negative it'll be before xmas and I can start again! I'm hoping they'll up the clomid to see if that works better. Can't be doing with another 55 day cycle 🤦🏼‍♀️ we've dtd so many times I'm surprised we've managed it! Even did twice some days 🙈

It's so annoying not knowing what's going on isn't it?!

@thislittlebird wow your journey does sound particularly long and frustrating. I really hope that now you've got IVF dates things start to become a bit more straightforward for you. Let's hope your ovulation timing doesn't affect your slot - can they not move it around a bit if needed? Not everyone has regular cycles!

@Marvellouslymadmum woo to ovulation! Blimey long cycle though. It's so annoying that our bodies just randomly decide to do their own thing for no particular reason sometimes.

@Carla2601 sorry to hear about what you're going through, that all sounds really tough. Hope you're ok. What was your partner's SA results if you don't mind me asking? Is he on any supplements etc?

I'm having a month off this month. DH is working away during the week and ovulation is due on a Wednesday, so I'm not going to stress about it and enjoy all my Christmas parties and drinks without worrying about the TWW 😂

@RugbyGirl1 it's mega frustrating! I've had long annoying cycles before (I'm used to all this after 3.5 years ttc) but being on clomid it's supposed to bring ovulation forward and be strong 🤷🏼‍♀️🙄

@thislittlebird I thought it was quick too! It’s at St Helier not sure if you’ve had any there (I think it’s just on the phone like an intro appointment but better than nothing). Yes it was the GP who referred me (suspect the wait comes after this as the letter says average to treatment is 30 weeks).
Pup is luckily fine....she is the love of my life so I’m not sure how I’d have coped if she hadn’t got better (I know that’s daft but it’s where I’m at 😂).

@RugbyGirl1 results were: not enough in the pot and no sperm at all. None! Anyway they said they’d re do it as it could be a mistake. He took the new sample yesterday and they weighed it and said it was a normal sized sample so that’s something but we’re convinced it’ll be zero again. No idea what happens if it is but it won’t be good of course. Glad you’re having a month off we did this month and it was so so helpful for my sanity and I hope you get the same experience ☺️.

@Marvellouslymadmum sorry you’ve had that cycle, what a nightmare! We tried the twice a day thing last month (hoping that might explain the results but not holding my breath).

Thanks for being so kind everyone you’re the best!

@RugbyGirl1 a month off sounds like a good plan! it’s a good question and I need to ask this. It didn’t occur to me it would move a fair few days forward 🤨. I’m assuming this is why they asked me about taking the pill but I didn’t really want to do that.

@Carla2601 I don’t know St Helier. Good news on the pup. What is she? I’m constantly wanting a dog, but worried about how I’d cope with a dog and a baby if it all pans out.

What do they mean not enough in the pot? Did he say he ejaculated into it normally, no incidents or spillage? Did he do the samples around the time you were trying it twice per day? It can happen that there’s no sperm in the sample, but hopefully it was an error and when it’s retested it’s better. Having been through the male factor thing for a while now, I’ve seen cases of this and there is stuff they can do to either extract it or to improve what he’s producing. Hopefully it’s just an error though.

@Marvellouslymadmum we have tried twice per day on occasion but it didn’t work 😭, so I decided I can’t be bothered with that more often.

@thislittlebird we don’t really know - they just said it wasn’t a big enough sample first time and that what was there had nothing in it but the second time they weighed it when he dropped it off and it was big enough so maybe he missed a bit first time. He didn’t think he had but I’ve come home to cracks in our walls before that he doesn’t know he’s made so he’s definitely clumsy!! Thanks, I hope so but in a weird way if we knew it was that at least we’d go straight to treatment knowing what will (maybe) and won’t work so that’s be something.

Re the dog, she’s a frenchie. I would say do it. I didn’t really want to get her - my husband did. But the second I met her I fell so in love (the vet/neighbours/family think I’m mad), she is honestly the queen of my heart and whenever I’m sad about all this she makes it so much better. Something to nurture and is good for the soul. I’d definitely think about it if I was you. The only bad thing is she loves children so much so I know she’d love one for our family and that makes my heart hurt a bit more.

How was your trip?! I feel like you must have posted but I didn’t spot it!

@Carla2601 @thislittlebird we've just tried to carry in dtd as much as possible, sometimes it's been twice sometimes once sometimes not for a couple of days. I may have spoken too soon on the ovulation as my temps have dropped again this morning and Lh is still high, I'm on the point of giving up this cycle!!!

@Marvellouslymadmum that just sounds so frustrating for you. None of us here are lucky I’m fully aware of that but all my cycles are exactly the same to the hour almost and I’m definitely grateful not to have this rollercoaster as it adds even more stress doesn’t it! Really hope it becomes clearer for you so you can at least get some well timed DTD! My next fertile period is Christmas week when I’ll be in my mums tiny cottage so that’ll be fun 😂🙈

@Carla2601 it'll be difficult to do any more dtd we've done it so many times this month plus he is now poorly with a throat infection and I'm Starting to get it too! It would be so much easier to have regular cycles

@Marvellouslymadmum I hear you on that it’s rubbish just doing it over and over because you have to - I hope you’re both feeling better soon

@Carla2601 yeah, they would definitely fast track you to ICSI. It is nice knowing there's a reason in a way, for us I think the motility is a key factor and I'm hoping the ICSI will work.

I would like to adopt a dog, but it seems really risky adopting when you might have a baby eventually, and you don't know how they'd be together. Frenchies are good family pets as far as I know, she sounds lovely. I'd need something with a curly coat that doesn't shed really. I'm also not convinced we have the room in this house for puppy stuff, we're already at storage capacity, but can't really move elsewhere in this area to somewhere bigger and don't want to move out of the area yet.

My trip was ok, tiring and didn't feel as much like a holiday as I'd like with all the family visiting and birthday stress. Didn't go how I'd like really, so we're staying home for Christmas, can't be bothered to do all that again in a few weeks. Then we're in Edinburgh in Jan for a week, so that will likely be tiring too. I've told work I'm self isolating when we get back from my trip, I don't want to catch anything pre-IVF.

@Marvellouslymadmum omg that's very annoying. I have semi-regular cycles, I'm glad they're mostly predictable, just not sure the two ahead of IVF will be.

I don't know whether to take my progesterone post-ovulation or not. I will if I think I've ovulated, I'm guessing of course, because I'm not tracking or temping etc. I will give it until about day 18-20 and start taking it if I do think I've ovulated based on symptoms.

@thislittlebird I volunteer for a frenchie charity (called FLOOF) and it’s good because they tell you if the dog is child friendly and the age (not too many that come up have been around newborns.....probably because they’re impossible to get your hands on, I jest!!) but it might be worth looking as other rescues might do the same. We bought ours as a pup and she’s a total love bug....with absolutely everyone. Having her from 8 weeks definitely filled a tiny bit of the gap left by a baby. They don’t need too much (although ours has a gazillion toys but that’s because I’m an idiot who can’t stop shopping 😂😂😂).

Sorry to hear your trip didn’t go as planned but glad you’ve made a good call for you on Xmas. Sounds sensible re isolating - my dad was supposed to go for his biopsies and he tested positive so that delayed him and it’s not what you need.

Yes that’s what I thought re ICSI; at least we wouldn’t do IUI and IVF first (and fail presumably) if we had a diagnosis but I know it would kill my OH so that makes me sad, he already said maybe you should find someone else if it’s just him (which is insane we’ve been together since we were 18 and I know he doesn’t mean it but it showed how bad it had made him feel). Is the motility unconfirmed for you guys? Or just confirmed as below ideal but not definite cause?

@Carla2601 I wish I knew poodle/bichon/shih tzu/schnauzer (or their mixes) rescue people, but it’s a bit of a minefield when you need certain breeds and adopting. I don’t want to buy when we eventually do it but I suspect I’ll have to. Did you volunteer there before you got her? I wouldn’t mind a slightly older dog if it had been around kids or babies, I don’t need a puppy and I don’t really want the puppy stage and stuff either. But at the same time, training them is easier when young I suppose. Did you do crate training?

Some relatives wanted us to come down to them but it’s expensive and tiring. Don’t want to leave my house again just yet. Plus we have loads to do here, as always.

Yeah that’s exactly my fear, covid delays. I worry about DH too, because he can’t self isolate due to his job.

We have definite low motility, yeah. Which is worse than poor morphology because they literally aren’t moving but he had poor morphology too at one time (not terrible, just lower than required). His motility has ranged from 9-24% which is quite low, loads of them don’t swim and are sluggish. Lots of them aren’t even alive 😩. I guess the cause is always hard to pinpoint because I’ve never been pregnant but I would suspect it’s the main cause, that and my low progesterone. They don’t seem to be able to meet. He definitely wasn’t a fan of being the main cause and he likes to claim it’s ok quite often, like it’s not that bad etc but I read the results in more detail than he does and they’ve all said they’re very sluggish. I think it could be simply an age thing for him. He’s 40 now, and many 40 year old men are fine, but I wonder if it’s just that his family seem to age a little faster than average???? Because I do not think it’s a lifestyle thing with him, he’s fine in that regard. They’ve checked for varicoceles, hormone issues aren’t suspected and so on. Never had problems as a kid etc. Supplements have improved his motility and morphology though, so that’s positive. Also his dna fragmentation was fine too, or at least ok for his age, so I’m hoping we can make the three embryos we’re funded for. Reminds me I need to start taking ubiquinol again really, I got annoyed at all the supplements and stopped them a month or so ago. Except for the three main ones, but with ivf looming I should restart some.

@thislittlebird no I found them once my frenchie love affair began! There’ll be loads and there are so many dogs now, even those popular kinds, that need homes so when you’re ready I suspect you’ll find one fairly easily. I do think the smaller rescues are easier as there’s more flex on you than the bigger ones who seem to want you to do nothing but care for the dog. Yep we crate trained her but she doesn’t use it now and she doesn’t chew or anything so I just leave her chilling if we’re out, only use the crate if she’s in my room because otherwise she’s up and down all night getting in my bed then over heating and getting out and that’s not cool haha.

Oh they never read it properly do they - my OH broke the news to me and seemed to have zero questions about anything! I had so many and he just kept saying oh they didn’t say. They do say it’s normally a combination don’t they, though my GP said mine were all normal to good but that’s actually got us more worried as now we’re convinced we’ll get the same sperm result again. I’ll let you know. I also totally get that it’s hard for them to be the cause as it’s sort of a double whammy because they feel they’ve let us down (they haven’t of course!) as well as not being able to have the child they want. My one positive to him was that if it was him maybe if we can get pregnant it’ll stick....might not be right of course but we were trying to look for silver linings! If they’re sluggish I guess there’s no reason the treatment won’t work because of that as they won’t need to swim? So that’s a good sign!

Oh I’m not surprised, and it’s such a big thing to be heading into the new year facing (I know it’s positive but it’s also daunting) so I think you’re right to just put yourselves first and do what’s best for you.

Hi

Is there room for one more?

I’ve had my mirena coil removed today as we embark on our journey to conceive. I have a DD 16, from a previous relationship and we have a DD 11 together. Life has just got in the way and we have now decided the time is right to ttc #3, we are anticipating that it won’t be easy as I’m 35 and DH is 43, it took us 11 months to conceive our 11 year old.

Any advice or words of wisdom?