TTC 35+ Thread 12

[Misty84]

Hope this works girls, haven’t done this before, we’ve run out of space on the other thread.
@thislittlebird @ElsieG3m @Marvellouslymadmum @KatRee @Anxiouswannabe

In a truly shocking turn of events it was a bfn . I’m not surprised, but I do wonder if I will ever see those two lines. Other people get two lines all the time, why can’t I have two lines? 😔

I knew it hadn’t worked, I felt nothing at all throughout any of it. Feels like my body doesn’t even understand how to respond to hormones now. I’ve got to keep taking the progesterone and test again Sunday because they like to make me suffer.

Might try one more induced ovulation cycle this month and then ivf won’t be too far away after that.

Oh I’m sorry @thislittlebird. The elusive 2 lines hey…feels so impossible/unreal, like it’s almost a myth! Can’t even imagine seeing it. I’m really sorry that this hasn’t worked so far xx

@Misty84 unreal is the right word. It’s something that happens to other people only. I’m sad it didn’t work but I’m also not surprised. Male factor is a pain in the arse.

I hear ya- only known about our male factor for a month and I feel doomed! Dr Faris described our issues on both sides as “a double whammy”😔
I feel like I’m just torturing myself by continuing to try, the chances are so small in our case. At the end of this will be nothing but a giant bill to remind us of our heartache.

@Misty84 welcome to the double whammy gang! 🙃

I feel stupid really, for not realising men could be such a big part of the problem when we tried. My thoughts were all about me (and I am a problem) but his age didn’t occur to me, I had no idea men’s quality can deteriorate as they age in the same way women’s does. Yeah, that’s relatable, I have visions of lots of time and expense spent on this and no baby at the end. It’s hard to keep going.

Absolutely @thislittlebird, we spent 2 years wasting time really, if we’d known about his anti-sperm antibodies we could’ve gone straight to ICSI when I had more eggs and better quality. It’s a shambles really! He’s young so everyone just assumed it was all me! 🤬
Remind me what the issue is on your side? X

@Misty84 my FSH and LH are very low (1.something) and I have rather low progesterone so I likely don’t ovulate/have PCO of some kind. So I can’t get an egg out and he can’t get a sperm there even when I do 🤪

I’m glad we have ICSI as an option, but it doesn’t make me relax.

@thislittlebird did you test again yesterday? X

@Misty84 yeah, unfortunately lol. I prefer the part where you can delude yourself you might actually be pregnant. I not only got a BFN but my first ever evap top, just to twist the knife lol

@thislittlebird sorry you got a bfn I know I'll have exactly the same when I do my clomid rounds, I've got my phone call at 4 and I just can't see it working 😞
🤞🏻 for round 2 for you!

@Marvellouslymadmum yeah, my hopes aren’t high lol. how did your call go?

@thislittlebird she said my progesterone was really low (0.8) but I expected that as I was actually cd2 at the time! My amh was 1.3 which I was a bit disappointed with but upon further research that's still I'll classed as normal range in any age from 18-35 and it's only classed as slightly low if it's below so not too bad, she's giving me 3 rounds of clomid to start off with, with progesterone monitoring no scans, I've been on a thread with some others taking it and that's quite normal on nhs apparently! But I'm unlikely to over stimulate with my amh anyway. Then I've got another appointment with her in 4 months so around the beginning of cycle 3 on the clomid. Start next cycle 🤞🏻🤞🏻 so you'll probably have finished your letrozole when I start taking mine! Only thing I find really annoying is that I have no way of contacting the woman! Assume I just talk to the gp if I have questions 🤷🏼‍♀️ have you started your letrozole yet or is that tomorrow?

@Marvellouslymadmum yeah and tbh they don’t care that much about AMH until you’re at the IVF stage afaik.

Yeah very normal, nhs don’t seem too worried. My letrozole thread only had a few people on it, it’s not as common as clomid lol. Can you ring the department who issued you it?

I start again on Thursday, I think. AF started today so it’s cycle day one tomorrow for me, I’ll go in on Tuesday and start the same day. I’ve asked them to do a day 21 blood test too, I felt no signs of ovulation or progesterone at all. Hopefully that way I can know if I need more progesterone before IVF.

*Thursday. For a scan. My favourite pastime 🥴

How’s everyone getting on? I think it’s just us thread 🦖 hanging out lately 😩

@thislittlebird I don't really know, I've not been given a contact number or anything but maybe I can just call the hospital d ask to be put through to the department or something 🤔
That's definitely a good idea! Then you'll definitely know if it is working or not

@Marvellouslymadmum yeah I would just do that. There must be a nurse you can speak to, I’m dealing with nurses when I’m doing this letrozole stuff. Part of me thinks whatever 🤷‍♀️, I’m paying them whether it works or not, but if nothing else it’s a learning exercise. If my progesterone is STILL low on cyclogest then I’ll ask the nhs for more, and if they won’t give it to me I’m sure the private clinic will.

Hope your first cycle was relaxed as these things can be @newnameanon19

@thislittlebird I'll certainly give it a go! I've got to talk to my gp at some point once I get my letter through so I'll try discussing everything with her and see what she says! I do feel like progesterone could be the key. I wonder if you can just speak to a private doctor to get a progesterone prescription 🤔

@Marvellouslymadmum I think they might you’ve had a consultation and can show your nhs treatment plan. I can’t see why not.

@thislittlebird that's true I may give it a go!

Managed to speak to Dr Faris and my NHS consultant about the Lap. Both advised not to do it now that we have bigger issues (partner’s sperm). Due to the antibodies we will always need to have ICSI/IMSI to have any chance, therefore endometriosis is irrelevant to that process. And they don’t want to risk burning any endo off my ovaries and damaging my already very low egg reserve. So that’s that. Relieved I don’t need to have it, but overall the picture is pretty bleak!

@Misty84 that sounds like sensible advice, glad they both agreed. That’s the risk with a lap, it’s all so tightly packed in in there.

I had a bit of a freak out last night about my body not working properly blah blah blah. I’m tired. Went for my day 2 scan and to pick up my second packet of letrozole this morning, it takes SO long for me to get to the Lister and back and I don’t have much hope of this working but at least it’s passing some time while I wait for the nhs IVF.

Yeah it’s tiring isn’t it @thislittlebird, I’m just limping on with this with very little real hope!

How long is your journey to the Lister?

@Misty84 it's good that they'd agreed in a plan for tog and you know where you're heading

@thislittlebird you never know, the second month could be the one! I have one of my letters through today confirming I'll be on 50mg clomid with progesterone on day 21 each month and a scan in round 1 so that's good! Still no con

Sent before I'd finished!!

Contact info or anything about my results yet, I expect I'll get that one in a few days. I'm actually excited about the clomid - I really wish I could do things without getting my hopes up!! 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Misty84 my hope is through the floor. When even cycles with medical interventions don’t work it feels like there’s little light at the end of the tunnel.

@Marvellouslymadmum I am not convinced it will be with this sperm. that’s good that they’re doing a day 21 test, I’m requesting one, seemed weird they didn’t offer one.