TTC 35+ Thread 12

[Misty84]

Hope this works girls, haven’t done this before, we’ve run out of space on the other thread.
@thislittlebird @ElsieG3m @Marvellouslymadmum @KatRee @Anxiouswannabe

Very impressive about your folding bike @thislittlebird! They’ve always looked a bit too complicated for me!🙃
Regarding symptoms, I find that soooo many people say they had no symptoms before a BFP. So much so that whenever I get sore boobs I’m like “I’m out.” (which is the case now btw, I’m 9dpo!)- wow I just had to work that out in the app, I haven’t obsessively kept track this month which is a first!!

So many whole babies since starting TTC. Those people have no idea what the struggle is like.

@Misty84 they are definitely too complicated for me, but I'm going to have to deal . I got one of the lightest ones I could in the not super expensive price range, but it will take some getting used to! I'm planning to cycle either side of my train journey. From home to the station and from the station to work. I'm definitely not confident enough for the main roads!

Our cycles must be similar this month! Omg yeah, people who don't have years to conceive will have like three by the time some of us have one 🙃

Oh sorry I didn’t reply in full @Misty84. I see people say no symptoms and I assume those are people who normally get symptoms 🙈. Never straight forward this symptoms lark. Not obsessing is a nice change i’m sure!

@thislittlebird I bought a bike in the summer too and haven't had one since I was a teenager! 🤦🏼‍♀️

My apps keep changing my ov day I think it was 9/10th September making me about 11dpo but it's now changed it to 5dpo for some strange reason 🤷🏼‍♀️ my temps were really high but are dropping now - I may have had a bit of a bug or something as I kept waking up sweating. Having really bad headaches this month though, every day. Most annoying.

And I'm outages for you with the massage, shouldn't have been like that at all

Hmm just got a call from the NHS saying that I’ve reached the top of the waiting list for a Laparoscopy to look for (and if necessary treat) endometriosis. It’s been SO LONG that I actually forgot I was on a list!
Not sure whether to have it done or not….the Lister have never mentioned it, I will have to cancel some work (and as I’m self employed that will cost me £100), and I know there’s risks of damage. I don’t have any symptoms of endo, I think the NHS just wanted to rule it out. Not sure what to do, any opinions? Is it worth me doing? Anyone ever had it?
I’ll ask my Lister consultant what he thinks too…

@thislittlebird That’s good, that will be some nice exercise! Yeah symptom spotting is pointless, I learnt that a long time ago! I dismiss everything as pms now. I’d probably be very overexcited if I got no symptoms!😛

@Marvellouslymadmum That’s really confusing about ovulation! Sorry to hear you’ve been feeling unwell.

Hi all,

Thanks for your supportive messages. Have follow up consultation following failed ivf tomorrow evening. Hoping they will have something positive to say about chances for trying again

@Misty84 I have also been referred for laparoscopy and also hysteroscopy by NHS - or at least told that they can put me on the list- they will either put me on the waiting list for those investigations, or for ivf (which would involve going through process to get funding approved). My main concern with having the Lap would be that it would delay further ivf cycles - I think there is quite a long recovery period before you can have ivf. But then again it would be good to know there was nothing physical going on inside that could harm implantation. Feel a bit overwhelmed by having options!

@Misty84 if you're not fussed on your laparoscopy do you think they'd mind if I nipped in and had it? 😂 I can't get them to do one on me for the life of me and I do have endo symptoms and confirmed adeno 🙄
I'm feeling a bit better now thank you 😊

@KatRee I don't think you do have to wait long after a lap for ivf, a lady I'm on another thread with had her lap then one cycle then ivf the next.

😂😭 absolutely screaming at @Marvellouslymadmum nipping in pretending to be @Misty84

@KatRee let us know how you get on with your appointment, hopefully it’ll be positive x

@misty84 I think maybe???? I’d have it but it’s so hard to say. I always feel like it rules out endo but equally comes with a risk. It’s a tough call. It might be an easier call to make if you’d had a miscarriage or cp, if that makes sense? Because you might suspect something was up.

This entire fertility journey is so challenging. Has anyone considered taking a career break because of this ? I thought about it but obviously financials is a consideration. But sometimes you wonder - life's too short really.

Thanks very much all for the advice/opinions about the lap.

@Marvellouslymadmum I wish I could give you my appointment!! How long have you been waiting? I was on the list for 10 months (I didn’t request it, I think it’s just a check box in my case). It’s so rubbish that you actually need it yet they still take so long!

@KatRee I hope your follow up goes ok this evening.

@thislittlebird I had a counselling session with the Lister yesterday. I was talking about things fine until she asked if I’d experienced loss before…cue me barely being able to get the words out about my younger sister, and both me and the counsellor ended up weeping. Totally emotionally draining and not helpful to this current situation (in my opinion).
I explained that nothing will ever be as bad as that.

Have you had any of their counselling yet? I thought it was just one session per cycle but the lady said it was unlimited, and for both partners. Might as well get your money’s worth! I’ve mentioned it to my partner but he NEVER talks about his feelings so I don’t think he’ll do it!

Oh and @AnxiousWannabe I’ve reduced my workload by half, but that was more because I can’t keep having time off for IVF scans/appointments. Money-wise it’s really shit, but mental health wise I think it’s been good to have some free time to myself and not always be madly rushing about.

@thislittlebird thought it may be worth a go 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

@AnxiousWannabe I do think that if it would help your mental health it could be worth it definitely, like you say life's too short, you have to do the things that make you happy.

@Misty84 they won't even put me on the list! My consultant doesn't want to do one because she said as I've been pregnant before (16 & 17 years ago with successful pregnancies and 4.5 with mc) then endo won't be causing me not to get pg! Which I think is utter rubbish but there you go!
That sounds good about the counselling, although hard who knows what help?!

@Marvellouslymadmum - you're right about leaving time between lap and ivf - just spoke to our consultant at the private clinic and he said it's only a 2 week recovery time and can then start ivf on following cycle.
I'm sorry they won't refer you for one, that's so rubbish

Follow up consultation was ok- found it a bit tricky over the phone, as the line wasn't great. I've been really worried about my egg quality, thinking our cycle failed because my eggs are just all too old to make good embryos, but he said that the protocol can affect the quality and that he might try to change it slightly next time. Or maybe not because it might have just been bad luck it didn't work this time. So quite positive overall.

@AnxiousWannabe I really want a career break right now! I dropped a few balls whilst going through ivf a few weeks ago as had no focus at all and now everything is falling apart and I'm super stressed. Don't cope well with work stress at best of times. But yeah, need the ££

@KatRee that's good to hear, I thought that was the case. I'm hoping that if the clomid doesn't work they'll then consider offering me one but I think I would have far better chances the other way around 🙄

Good news about your consultant being positive too!

I took the job I’m in because it’s fairly low key and I wanted the mat leave. That was three years ago and I’m still here and I’m bored out of my mind but it’s not stressful, it’s flexible, and I can work from home some of the week so 🤷‍♀️, could be worse.

I also thought lap to ivf was fairly fast.

@Misty84 i don’t know if I’m entitled to it as I’m not an ivf patient yet? I am entitled to nhs counselling. But I do fear bringing up some of my emotional childhood stuff. Feels like a huge can of worms to add to my current ttc misery.

@Misty84 do you think it helped delving into those difficult emotions? My DH would be unlikely to go imo.

Financially it'll be shit. And fertility costs money. But I discussed with OH and we think we can manage that.

The problem is what will I do if I were not working. Currently my work is fairly simple (coz I have done it for years) but I do get stressed during crunch time. It kinda keeps my mind occupied so I spend fewer hours being anxious.

I tried to take two weeks off recently and I find myself thinking more and more about TTC.

I'm a very confused person

@AnxiousWannabe that is a good point tbh. If you don’t have the distraction of work, will you obsess even more?

@thislittlebird
I think so. The thing is it will be crunch time for the next six months for me. It's one extreme or another - work like mad and no time to be anxious and probably no time to TTC...or no work and be anxious but have time to focus on fertility and all

@thislittlebird It doesn’t help me to talk about difficult things that aren’t related to TTC. I started the morning in an ok mood and after the session was worn down and upset. Some people swear by counselling so I think it’s a very individual thing. Also, this came 6 weeks after the failed IVF when I’ve actually dealt with it and moved on. I really needed this session in the following 2 weeks when I was in a very low place. Maybe I’ll try and book it in advance next time, pre-empt the fail!🙄

@AnxiousWannabe If reducing your work means you’ll spend more time fretting about TTC, then I suggest you find an activity to replace it and fill those hours. Something that’s good for you and you’re interested in. Since I reduced my hours I’ve filled them with going to gym classes for example.

Ps. AF imminent here guys☹️ We are going to Brighton for the weekend as a change of scene, and I’m going to be full flow- great!
@thislittlebird When have they told you to test?

@Misty84 yeah you definitely needed it sooner. I have a lot of mother related shit that IS distantly related to ttc so I know that would come up and as much as it might need to in some ways it will never get resolved, so the thought of it scares me because I carry enough weight around on that topic as is.

AF is such a bastard, just at your weekend away too. I have to test tomorrow 😔. I don’t want to but at least I’m wfh so I can grieve my blank white test window in peace.

The most annoying thing about the trigger injection for me right now is that I don’t know when I ovulated exactly so I can’t gauge when my period should be due. It’s three days away possibly, because if the OPK was right then I’m 9dpo but the trigger was a couple of days prior so I’m kind of assuming the OPK was right.

@AnxiousWannabe that would be the only thing, when you have nothing to occupy your mind you do end up with your mind going over and over everything and driving yourself crazy! You'd need a nice all encompassing hobby or something to distract you, or maybe a different more relaxed job if that's possible?

Af did a sneak attack on me today - no impressed! That's a53 day cycle followed by a 45 then two 22 day cycles 🤦🏼‍♀️ hopefully clomid will fix these issues, annoying part is I now won't be starting until next cycle as af will be on her way by the time the doc rings on Monday 🙄

Good luck for your test @thislittlebird 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

We've had our first month trying! Eased ourselves in gently with CD 11 and 14 DTD!