TTC 35+ Thread 12

[Misty84]

Hope this works girls, haven’t done this before, we’ve run out of space on the other thread.
@thislittlebird @ElsieG3m @Marvellouslymadmum @KatRee @Anxiouswannabe

@Misty84 ...I don't know you in person but I hope you are hanging in there.

@AnxiousWannabe how’s things? What’s happening for you right now? Can the send the Amazon parcel back? I think EPO is fine pre-ovulation, just stop it as soon as you ovulate.

We’ve been struggling lately. Arguing a lot, because I’m super stressed and I have no outlets. Friends are in short supply since covid+babies happened and I’m very ready to move and find new friends etc but ivf says nope. We have our appointment tomorrow with Guys and I’m nervous in case they say there’s a long wait, I also wanted to lose weight beforehand but sprained my ankle so that went out the window.

I’m back to work this week but I expect I’ll be very bored for the three days I’m in because there won’t be many people around.

@Marvellouslymadmum I wish I knew a breeder of the breeds I would like. Will have to do some research. We decided to look into it more after ivf attempt 1. The lack of sleep and general stress of a puppy wil definitely add more stress and I think? hope? we’re close now.

@AnxiousWannabe I don't think folic acid can be overdosed as some people get put on a high dose anyway, may be worth a google and like @thislittlebird said epo should be fine if stopped at ovulation.

@thislittlebird ooh exciting about your appointment tomorrow! 🤞🏻 they get going soon. I'd say a puppy would be a great distraction for you, and it's only the first few nights that are hard when they're settling in, no more than a week in general. Just want lots of YouTube videos on what to do and mot to be beforehand and you'll be all good!

UPDATE** I may actually like my oh today - he ate my packet of rolo's 😭 I've been so good with my eating and had these ready for a little treat, went to get them and they're gone! Not a happy bunny and he doesn't understand why I'm sulking 😡

I meant kill not like!

Hi girls just want to say thanks so much for all the supportive messages, I’ve read them all ❤️
Needed to take some time out after our failed ivf round. Also I’m on an ivf group and I’m the only person who didn’t get any embryos…it’s really hard to see that.

We still haven’t had any follow up consultation or a counselling session which I requested- the lack of aftercare has been a real shock.
Changed consultants so I’ve now got the same one as you @thislittlebird, another week to wait until we can speak to him.

I always knew our first round was unlikely to work- but I wasn’t expecting the massive curve ball male factor we now have to deal with, the zero embryos and the zero support afterwards.

As my friend unhelpfully told me “Oh I never had nothing to transfer” 😒

Hope everyone is hanging in there. Think the dog idea is a good one, we want to get a Lab too. Xx

@Marvellouslymadmum just a week, you think? I'm seen so many horror stories online that it worried me. I was watching youtube videos to get a good sense of how long the worst of sleep training would take but I'm worried about egg quality as is because there's some people with high AMH who get lots of eggs and other who get almost none that fertilise because quality is poor, so it's a huge concern of mine right now. I'm not being crazy healthy or anything, I'm just taking my supplements, trying to eat a bit more protein (even if it's just peanut butter) and not eat badly. Can't down awful lot else.

Can't believe he ate your Rolos! I would be mad too, it's so annoying. I'm at home alone at the moment and we argued yesterday when decorating the spare room. It's hard, we're not seeing anyone but each other and infertility is so stressful.

@Misty84 welcome back Misty! I'm glad to see you back and I can't imagine how hard it is seeing threads like that. Sometimes these support groups are great, other times they're horrible and a break can be a good thing. I might try to avoid some of them during egg collection.

I'm surprised it takes so long to arrange, did you ask the secretary for the counselling and follow up? Mr Faris was friendly, but we haven't got much further than that. I like that he gave me his number though so I could ask anything I had concerns about.

It's so frustrating, the male factor stuff is hard because they just don't know as much about it as I would like. A tip I've learned along the way is that if you want to get your DH in depth sperm analysis like we did with Mr Ramsay, you can do it directly with the lab (I think they're called Examen) and it's cheaper. That way you can get the results and then see if you want to see a specialist, rather than pay for two specialist appointments plus the tests.

What, your friend did IVF and she said that? I've been losing the plot a bit the last couple of weeks and I tried to tell my friend I was struggling in case IVF fails and she said "you just never know". Ok, thanks for that, I'll stop trying to talk about this with you .

I'm definitely going to pursue the dog thing. I just want to get this out of the way, I really think having a routine and some canine company would be good for both of us.

@thislittlebird
I was near the brink of divorce over everything and the TTC stress so I know what u mean. I am not a competitive person but I always wonder - why is it so easy for others and so tough for me? I'm not asking for a Chanel - I freaking just am asking for normal.

I try to not think so nowadays and I try to think - it's life. You don't always get a linear path. It's super difficult.

@Misty84
I'm so happy to hear from you. It's an unhelpful comment from your friend but I have similar experience. We reach out hoping to get some help or be consoled..but our dumb friends were only able to share their experience. Don't distance yourself from your friends though ...I had an experience where I was reaching out and didn't find my friends comment helpful. I later on realised she was dealing with a larger battle herself.

@Marvellouslymadmum
I googled and I definitely od'ed. I'm so pissed off with myself for being so careless. Sigh.

@AnxiousWannabe I just checked and 1000ug is fine, I'll attach the article but did think that was the case, it won't hurt.

@thislittlebird yes in general any puppy I've had had settled at night within a few days but I do get what you're saying about the sleep deprivation. And I may send him out to buy me chocolate!

@Misty84 glad to see you back, totally get having to take a break. Have you tried contacting your clinic? I really feel you should've heard from them by now!

@thislittlebird Yeah I feel tired from it all. Thank you for the tip about sperm analysis.

Yeah that was a comment from a friend who had 2 rounds of IVF. So that, plus seeing everyone on the IVF group having transfers, definitely makes me feel like I’m in last place!

Think a dog would probably be wonderful but I don’t have the energy to research it properly. Do you think it’s something you’ll do?

@AnxiousWannabe Couldn’t agree more that we’re only asking for normal, and yet life isn’t a linear path. We only need to see what’s going on in the rest of the world to be reminded of that.
Yeah I didn’t get angry with my friend, just felt sad inside. I know she only meant it as an observational comment.

@Marvellouslymadmum Yes I have contacted the clinic on various numbers/emails (secretary, main clinic, nurses) but they’re just booked up. Think def need a bit of counselling now though so might need to try another provider.

What colour labs does your sister breed? So exciting for you to have one reserved!

@Misty84 it's a shame that the clinics counselling services can't seem to handle the demand!
My sister had reds and yellows, we like both but are hoping for a lighter one, of course that may totally change when we see them and fall in love with one! Adding a pic of the last three from her current litter that all just went off to their new homes! We get first pick so I'm very excited and the dogs not even pregnant yet 😂

@Marvellouslymadmum Oh that’s too cute. My partner has always wanted a red one!

@Misty84 she breeds some lovely reds, they're proper dark fox reds too

I co-run a rescue so can I just pop a shout in here for the many, many wonderful rescue pooches out there!! I have 3!! Xx

@Geriatric1234 what a great thing to co-run! I would love one but it seems very hard to get a look in round here, huge waiting lists. AND If you say you have young kids which we hope to it's a nope. Obviously it's complicated if you plan to have a baby anyway. It's a shame. I also need certain breeds but I know they do come up sometimes.

@Marvellouslymadmum I hope he got you the chocolate. I kind of would like to have a dog by the time we get beyond round one of ivf so I have a buddy to look after and to distract me. That's the hope, probably totally naive and overly optimistic. We've spoken about it for years but never taken the leap, because I worry too much about the right time to do everything...look where that got me.

@AnxiousWannabe I too am asking for normal. I don't think it's a lot to ask, but looks like it might be

@Misty84 it's hard, I know from experience that this ttc lark makes you feel like you're being left behind, in real life and online, it's not fun. Try not to think about other people, I know it's easier said than done. I hope we can do the dog thing. I want to be less anxious and more confident and just do stuff I want to do, because there's little we can do while this is all ongoing.

Wish me luck for tomorrow all, I'm hoping they don't spring a surprise dildocam on me and an SA on the DH

@Geriatric1234

I co-run a rescue so can I just pop a shout in here for the many, many wonderful rescue pooches out there!! I have 3!! Xx

That's so lovely and an amazing thing to do! I have one gorgeous rescue, wouldn't be without him. Would love another, but need to wait til we move. Where is your rescue based? Currently we have a street dog we got from a rescue just outside of London.

@Marvellouslymadmum those puppies look gorgeous! You must be v excited

@Geriatric1234 that’s an amazing job! 😍

I would like a rescue but haven’t managed to sway my partner.

@thislittlebird How did today go?

Hi everyone, I hope everyone is doing well, and hoping even more for you all to have had a bfp while I've been gone. I'm not sure if anyone is still on this thread as it has gone quiet the last month and I have taken some time off social media.
I had a stressful time, was told by my NHS fertility consultant's colleague I didn't qualify for NHS IVF after being told I was guaranteed it and waiting for two months for my appointment at Chelsea and Westminster, for then to get a letter from the CCG to say I am receiving a round after all.
Still worried it will get pulled, but we will see. I'm trying to sneak a round in before my NHS round because it won't be till December/Jan, but Access is being funny about it. Have to have a consult with my private consultant before they will give us a decision if we can sandwich our private rounds around the NHS round.
I have my first appointment at lister on Friday. Any idea what I should ask? Or any videos that might give us an idea what to expect?

Oh weird, I posted and then saw there have been lots of posts in August. I am such a luddite, apologies.

@Misty84 it was a bit odd tbh. Not bad, just left me a little confused. Said the wait is 2-3 months, which is fine, I’ve waited two years so I can wait until November, maybe we’ll get the dog soon after all to keep me busy.

The weird bit was I’ve seen three private consultants now, two at the lister and one at Care and all have said they don’t want to overstimulate me so you need to get the balance of quality over quantity because high AMH and egg reserve. Anyway, we go in, she does the scan and I have 23 follicles on one side, 15 on the other, I’ve never had 38 before, they’re bloody multiplying 🥴. Then we chat about protocol and she wants to put me on the highest dosage of 300 of something for 9 days because of my age???? I’m a bit miffed tbh and it panicked me. None of the other docs I saw wanted to do that, they wanted a low-medium dosage, because I had a lot of follicles, and that was at 25 and 28 follicles on scans. Now I have ten more than when they said that and if they all get huge I am going to be unwell.

I raised my concerns though and she’s going to alter the dose to something lower, I just hope she doesn’t go for rock bottom minimum because there’s clearly an age vs egg reserve balance to be struck here, I don’t want the bare minimum and then I don’t respond, and I don’t want the max and I over respond. Came away a little stressed and will wait to see what they say the plan is. the letter.

Thinking I might ask the Lister for a monitored cycle of Letrozole next month in case that works while we wait. Day 1 of my cycle today so I can’t start this month, missed the boat.

@MargotChateau another Lister sister! What are access being funny about? Who are you seeing there? What questions have you got so far?

@MargotChateau oh and fingers crossed on the nhs round. I’ve been tempted to go ahead with a lister round but going to try the Letrozole instead, I think.

@thislittlebird Hi and thank you! I rung Chelsea and westminster who seemed to think my round won't be taken away, so here is hoping. The whole shambles broke my mental health and ended up with severe anxiety which is why I disappeared for a month or so.

I'm with Dr Farris as he specialises in endometriosis, we are having our first consultation on Friday. I'm very nervous and a little worried re some of the Lister feedback now I've gone up and read what I've missed out on. How many rounds have you had with the Lister? You have had a few consultations, did you shop around first?

Also what is the Letrozole used for?

How are you holding up generally? x

Oh and access are being funny about how I would like to use my two IVF rounds, I'd like to do them on either side of my funded round, but apparently they don't do it. (But said to call again after I had my first appointment and they might be able to work something out). Gah just take my money and do it!

Hey ladies! Wanted to say hi to you all. TTC month 14.
Took some time away from Mumsnet, stopped taking ovulation tests and we've only TTC when we actually wanted to. My mind has been far more at peace.
I too, have sisters of best friends now getting pregnant, most friends on two kids.
We've now had all the prelim tests for infertility. Whilst I ovulate late, at least I am! No other issues found.
I think about all of us and pray that we'll all get our baby.
Lots of love to you all