Fertility Clinic Appointments and Beyond..

[dogmam]

New thread for us to continue our fertility clinic appointment progress...

Some of us are waiting for initial appointments, some are having tests and some are starting treatment!

@paintfairy well, we can both be in the hopefully 39-40 gang. Not a gang I expected to be in, I won’t lie lol

Yeah the lack of urgency is painful. When I go in on Tuesday I will be stressing my age to them and how I don’t want to wait anymore if at all possible.

@Tillybabs yeah it’s hard. I find I’m just thinking the worst always. If I read about something bad happening I think it’ll happen to me. If I read about something good I’m convinced it won’t happen to me. Probably best not to read it all.

GCRM are officially quick off the mark - theyve already sent appts for the bloods, scan, semen analysis and consultation to discuss

@zibidee great news about the 2 embryos! The waiting to hear if they develop was the hardest for me, very nerve wracking, fingers crossed to you though! I am also on my local areas fertility network Facebook group, it's excellent, every other month on the zoom meet ups, there's a guest speaker from a local clinic, so in September one of the embryologists from my clinic is on, which I'm really looking forward to, it's like getting first hand information and almost feels like an extra clinic appointment! My clinic is very aware of this Facebook group so is really proactive with it, it's fab so I would highly recommend others join. I think I've mentioned about it before on this thread actually.

@thislittlebird yeah I saw about your funding, which is great by the way. You sound really stressed and down. We've all been there, still are infact, I know some days are worse than others. Absolutely point out all of the mix ups and hopfully you'll get started quicker. For me, once I had a date then I felt slightly better, so even if they do say you're not starting until later in the year then at least it's confirmed. It's an absolutely shit situation, it really really is, so lonely and really makes you question your life in general, without sounding dramatic. Hold on to the positives that your husbands sperm has massively improved, you've been told you're good to go with ICSI and your appointment is around the corner.

Yes scan is to check lining!

There is much to go through in this process and it can feel lonely and worrying at times. Don't feel afraid to let off and vent in here. We are all here to help each other.

@dogmam what's the fb group called?

@dogmam yeah, it’s rough, the last few days have been very hard. I just want to go away, move house, start a family, move areas, find new friends, change jobs and on and on and on. Most of all I want to look at sodding baby stuff and think about baby names, but I can’t do any of that. It’s horrible. We allowed ourselves to buy stuff to do up the spare room (thanks to the nhs round of funding for that), so I will have that distraction this weekend. Hopefully me and my sprained ankle might manage some painting, and I’m also thinking about booking a massage.

I’m definitely going to tell them about my delays. I’m not content with just being stuck at the end of a queue. I’m going to stress how I should have been referred to Guys either last August/December/May, depending on which mistake we’d like to consider 🙄. And also, I’m likely to need a FET. I think that’s good reason alone to get going fast, in case we do get an embryo and there’s a delay between collection and transfer.

Fingers crossed for that lining! How long ago was your EC? How does that work with the three months to use the funding rule? Does ET not count in that?

@thislittlebird you sound like you're really struggling - it's also disappointing your friend hasn't been supportive. I find my friends don't really know what to say but they do at least listen and offer some supportive words. Do you have access to an employee assistance programme through work or anything? I haven't needed a counsellor yet but my friend used her work EAP provider and said it was fantastic. The fertility clinic here offers a counsellor but that obviously costs extra, so my first point of call will be my work EAP counsellors. I think you really just need somebody to listen to you and get everything out.

I too listened to BFN. I got a few episodes in then skipped ahead to see if they got pregnant and as soon as they did I stopped listening 😂

@BritInNZ omg I should have done that. I don’t know why I put myself through it. I doubt you got to the parts that frustrated me the most where it became about pregnancy for half of each episode, I persevered hoping it would improve but nope. There’s one more series and a birth episode, I noticed . Useful if I ever get that far, I guess.

My ivf clinic (private) offers free counselling but I don’t know where I stand with that right now if I’m not proceeding with a cycle with them yet and proceeding with nhs instead. I might know more depending on how my nhs appointment goes. I will ask them about it at the nhs one too, because I think they have to offer counselling here but some charge.

Work probably has some sort of scheme, I’m just a little put off by my previous CBT experience. I don’t really want that again.

Omg I had a letter in my junk male from the complaints team about my terrible gynaecologist experience in May. What a waste of bastard time. She just denies everything, the clown.

@thislittlebird omg what?? Is she just pretending she didn't say you were just unexplained? Surely that would be on file?

@Juno231 she’s saying she didn’t say it. Which is fine, she didn’t. But if we were explained why were we told to go away and keep trying for three years? Or why were we told dh’s SA results were “not enough” of a problem for an ACU referral? Which to me says she had diagnosed us as unexplained, since explained people should not have to keep trying for another year +. It can’t be unexplained if we’ve both had results indicating subfertility ffs.

@Tillybabs the fb group is the Fertility Network UK one for your local area.

@thislittlebird I hear you re the house, job, friends etc!! All in good time hopfully. Yeah I listen to the BFN podcast, I've listened to it from the beginning and there is a series where there's a lot of baby chat but I think they must have had people contact them to complain so there's none of that in the later episodes, although there is a full episode dedicated to 'baby number 2' where they discuss their plans. Not sure if you've followed this series and listened to the last episode but I'm intrigued with what's happened with their friend Sophie?
Can't believe the response you got from PALS! I hope you go back and challenge them.. although maybe wait until after your appointment.
My egg collection was the 12th July. There's no 3 month rule in my area, 1 cycle is classed as a fresh round and any subsequent FETs which I guess will go on until all embryos are transferred back. To be honest there has been no mention of funding or anything with my clinic, I think they must just keep that in the background.

@Juno231 any further forward with your funding?

@dogmam no mention of funding? that's odd I think! Unless you had sign a bunch of paperwork separately anyway? No updates on my application btw - they asked OH for that bank statement on Monday and then quiet. However if they drag it out it just means I feel less stressed about delaying IVF until Jan :)

@thislittlebird haha I just don't know why they even bother saying crap that can so easily be refuted? "Okay so you're saying there was something wrong with us... but you just neglected to refer us for any treatments?"

@TheDaydreamBelievers welcome!

Hello lovely ladies, a new comer here
after stalking this thread for a long time, I am hoping to join in your conversation if that's alright?
Thank you @dogmam for creating the first post to initiate all these and all you lovely ladies who contribute to the conversation to let me know I am not alone...
you have no idea how much comfort, care and useful tips you guys provides for everyone else on this journey. Sometimes you just need little things to keep going, you know?

So a bit about me... both me and my husband are 33yo, been trying to naturally conceive for close to 4 years. Early this year we finally consulted GP and started the long game. I am sure you guys are also familiar with the process, GP...Blood test... promised referral but was never sent off... chase and chase...breakdown...pick yourself up...breakdown again and so on. The first useful finding was that they found polyps near my left uterus in the first transvaginal scan, back in May. Four polyps to be precise and promptly removed two weeks later. Then the gyner officially referred us to the infertility clinic and had our first consultation in August. Since then blood tests repeated, husband waiting to repeat SA and so on. The blood tests this time round discovered that I am low on rubella immunity so I will need boosters which is gonna delay more... Frustrating but each check and test do make you feel you are one step closer.

So that's me! I will come back to update my progress from time to time. I am terrible with responding but I have bookmarked this thread so hope to chat with all of you soon!

Hi @pinkginpls! I had the rubella immunity issue too. Very frustrating but it is what it is. I wonder if I’ll even get any immunity from the two jabs I’ve just had, time will tell!

I had my first IVF appointment today, it was a little odd. This is the first doctor I’ve seen in the nhs but I’ve seen three others privately. This doctor scanned me and I had 38 follicles this month (it’s cycle day 1 today), which is more than my last scans. She sent me for an AMH blood test too. But it’s a little odd because she said to me I will go on short protocol but with on a max dosage because of my age???? I’m not cool with that considering I had 38 in there and I’m at risk of OHSS. I’m 38, I don’t think it’s that old to be risking OHSS. Anyway, I protested and she said she’d do a lower dose. All the other docs I’ve seen have said short with low to medium dose to reduce the risk. Was a little anxiety inducing and impersonal and I left feeling confused. They said we’ll start in two to three months so I might ask the private clinic if we can do a monitored Letrozole cycle next month.

@Juno231 it’s super annoying too becAuse now someone is going to call me and I can’t be arsed with this pointless complaint procedure. I might just tell them not to bother.

@dogmam I tried a few from series 3 and they were definitely better, complaints were clearly received!

Im a bit confused and don't know what to do for the best... my husband and I were lucky and got an early first consultation at our (NHS) clinic in June, early because they ha da cancellation, and more tests for me were ordered which I had at the start of August, and the nurse doing them said to call the clinic in a couple of weeks if I hadnt heard about a follow up appointment.

The first time I called I got told I wasnt to be seen till July, and they were still working through the waiting list from May. I explained I'd had a consultation and this was a follow up but it didnt seen to alter what I was being told. I said I'd had further tests and the lady made a note on the system (how was this not already there 🤣) called again today and got told the same, that I was supposed to be contacted in July but they were working through those currently so I'd get a letter.

Should I be worried that we've slipped through an admin crack and will have an odd second initial consultation, or will it all be there on the system for the doctor (we did get a letter following the inital consult so it definitely happened 🤣) and the appointment we get will be a proper follow-up to discuss a plan? Should I ring a third time and try again to convince the admin team that I've already had a first appointment 🤣

Sorry, this is very long and rambling but I'm just so confused and frustrated x

@beckyCarlos gaaah I feel like we get this admin crap all the time. Like how hard can it beeeee?? I had a random appointment in July no one told me the agenda of and it turned out to be just a recap which drove me nuts. Anyway - I would call again and have them clarify what this contact in July is for as you're worried there's been a misunderstanding. I'd be concerned they've missed that you've already been in and are still working on getting you an initial consultation... I'm afraid you then just need to be firm and say you are expecting to discuss your results in a follow up meeting and it's not okay to be left waiting this long when something could potentially be wrong.

I sort of had a similar thing where I had to badger my way to a follow up because they were expecting me to wait until July (tests were done Feb/Mar) to find out my results...

@thislittlebird again it's shocking that sometimes we seem to be more clued up than our doctors! I think going for a letrozole cycle sounds sensible in the meantime though.

@pinkginpls welcome!! Glad we could be of help. It's all very slow and frustrating isn't it? It's like every single step has an extra hurdle, delay or some incompetence thrown in. I'm 33 as well, had my first tests in July last year and am still waiting for IVF approval :)

@juno231 thank you so much for replying 🥰 your journey sounds equally frustrating! I was so naive when I came into this, just assumed there'd be a nice clear easy path with things being logical at each stage(!) Wish me luck for calling back, I'm worried they'll flag me as being annoying and make me wait longer 🤣🤣

Just called back and got a different person (I'm not sure I've ever spoken to the same person) but I explained my concerns and she listened, and confirmed I was on the right list 😊 thanks the hand hold. I cant believe I'm 33 and still worried about making a phonecall on behalf of my own health and wellbeing 🙄

@beckyCarlos woop I'm glad they were nice and listened to you! And yes the handholds are nuts but necessary when everyone sort of... gaslights us every step of the way. We just know we'll get push back and that our concerns aren't listened to half the time and we're made to feel crazy constantly.

Its a bit of a weird comparison, but I feel like I did when we were buying our house and the solicitors were so blaze about things saying 'they'll get done when theyre done, but send us your money now or nothing will get done' and I'm there like...ok so you do this every day, and my deposit and money arent significant to you, but it is INCREDIBLY significant to me and its basically everything I have. And I feel its the same here, they see people with challenges everyday and its 'normal' to them and they know the system, but we dont, and its the biggest thing to us, especially when you feel like the more time it takes the less eggs you have 🙈 x

@beckyCarlos I'm the same - hate ringing people and hassling them. But god, yes it's hard work. Most people haven't had great experiences!

@Juno231 I harassed my private clinic today and I'm going straight into the Letrozole, picking it up tonight and starting tomorrow (plus scans and trigger shot so not cheap) for this evening! Weird to think we MIGHT have a chance for a change. Might.

@thislittlebird how does the letrozole work? I would ask your nhs clinic to be more specific in terms of dose, as what's classed as high to them mays be mid range to another. I think we had similar AMH and AFC and my short protocol was 6.33ml(I think) of rekovelle.

@Juno231 no, never had any mention of funding, I wouldn't have even known funding was a thing if it wasn't for hearing about it from other people at other clinics.

@pinkginpls pleased you've found this helpful! There's a whole other thread with the early stages that goes back to January (If you can be bothered to read it!). Hopfully you get some progress very soon. My initial appointment with th fertility clinic was January and I started my first ICSI round at the end of June, but know I've been quite lucky to have no delays.

@beckyCarlos ha I know thatvyou mean about being nervous making a phone call!! Pleased you found out you're on the right list though and hopfully not long for an appointment to come through.

I go for my lining scan tomorrow. I've been so chill about this FET so assume anxiety will be back to the usual sky high levels once I've been in the clinic!

@thislittlebird oh how exciting about the Letrozole! I'd be really keen to hear more about how that works. I will be starting my first Clomid cycle in less than two weeks 😁😁😁

@dogmam good luck with your lining scan tomorrow 🤞

@pinkginpls welcome!!