Month 12, 6 DPO, fed up and loosing hope

[fingerscrossed91]

Hi all,

I apologise in advance if this post is negative but I'm so so fed up with TTC. We have been trying for 12 months and haven't even had a hint of a line. My three best girlfriends (and soon to be bridesmaids) have all announced they are preggers this past month. Whilst I'm genuinely ecstatic for them I'm hurting so much as I don't believe it will ever happen for me.

I had to take a few days off work at the start of the week when the third told me they were preggers as I was just so overwhelmed and upset. A few days eating rubbish and watching Netflix made me feel a bit better but I have just lost hope that I will ever see a second pink line let alone have a baby.

I'm currently 6DPO and even though I know I won't be pregnant I'm still working myself up about it. I (stupidly) did a test today which was obv a BFN but it's like I can't help myself. It like a weird form of self torture!

I'd be so keen to talk to any hopeful mummas in a similar boat - let's keep everyone sain!

xxx

@xoJellyBean ah I remember now. Well I am hoping today was just a blip and a nice strong line awaits you tomorrow🤞🥰 x

!! About to loooose my shit. What is going on! 🤯

@xoJellyBean 😮🤞🤞🤞x

@xoJellyBean that looks like a really strong BFP. Huge congratulations xx

Aww that's a very strong BFP @xoJellyBean congratulations 💕 xx

Omg @xoJellyBean sorry I missed this - congratulations!! How are you doing??

Hey @Amy259 unfortunately not good. My bloods were done today but it is more or less confirming a chemical. The tests didn't get any stronger and I've been bleeding since the first bfp x

Oh @xoJellyBean I’m so sorry 💔 sending you lots of strength and love xxx

Soo sorry @xoJellyBean 💔 xx

@xoJellyBean I'm so sorry. It just seems so cruel xx ❤️

It just feels like a period now so I'm trying not to focus on it to much or I'll spiral! we will get there soon🤞🏻✨

How is everyone doing x

My AF showed it's face this morning too so feeling the normal very down on CD1. Time for lots of treats and a chill out on the sofa for me x

Just entering my fw (I think!) going with every other day this month and not tracking at all for the first time.

@Lynne425 I'm sorry to hear AF arrived, it never gets any easier does it x

@xoJellyBean Hope you're doing ok and hanging in there x

@suzy124 yeah it's annoying but I think I knew it wasn't happening so kind of prepared myself for it!!

I've a wedding reception next weekend (first wedding since like Nov 2019) so be nice to go and have a drink with friends at least

I've called my gp this morning and first appointment I can get is 10th Aug but at least it's in the diary to see what options we have going forward!!xx

@suzy124 good luck!!

Last December that's what I done and it worked for me (obv the pregnancy didn't but still got a BFP) just tried to relax and DTD ever other day xx

Soo update from me - what I thought was AF this morning has been only spotting! Literally nothing in the pad I put in since 6am

However I have been soo bloated and very rumbling tummy and very gassy all day (sorry tmi) so don't know what to think!!

I didn't test this morning as well I thought I was out.... if I've had no more bleeding I'll test again tomorrow morning but it's all very strange today!xx

@xoJellyBean so sorry to hear of your loss! It appears that you're trying to focus on continuing which is good. You're doing well. So surprised to hear because your tests were looking great. Fingers crossed for you as you continue 😘

@Lynne425 thank you, feel like I've given up somewhat as pinpointing Ov hasn't worked up to now

Oh those are really encouraging signs, 🤞 for tomorrow x

@suzy124 I get ya! I'm young to stop testing etc in cycles to come. This is my 2nd regular cycle since the covid vac so I'm going to test for another cycle or 2 then stop! Peak today so it'll be a 29 day cycle. Dh is away yesterday, today and tomo so it'll be another pointless cycle other than it becoming back to normal! Just become too much of a disappointment every month doesn't it!

@Loops01 ugh that's gotta hurt not being able to get together at the right time. Glad to hear your cycles are getting back to normal tho. Yeah I thought I was gonna freak out not testing this month but genuinely now feel like it won't work anyway. Feeling chilled but depressed

Had a letter yesterday confirming my first fertility appointment in Sept, just a telephone call. It lists all the things we need to have had done before like bloods and SA but one of them is a rubella blood test?? Surely if you've had the MMR as a kid that's a bit pointless?

@suzy124 I have my appt end of August but I had to get my mmr booster. They didn't check levels but I remember a lot of folk my age didn't get the booster and I got mumps about 10 yrs ago. That month of booster you weren't meant to try due to it being a live vaccine. It was my covid vac month so it was delayed so we tried anyway. Not like anything works 😂

@Loops01 so you were told you had to get booster before appt? Guess I'll ring my GP Monday to clarify what I need to do

Yeah I had to have it before they would refer me but then they didn't check levels. Honestly I think they make this stuff up lol. Everywhere seems to be different! We got SA and bloods done before referral too but I had to push for that

@Loops01 weird they wanted that and not SA/bloods. My GP didn't mention rubella at all. Why can't everywhere be consistent. Is your first appointment a telephone call too?

It's a zoom call or something! Not pinning too many hopes on it because like above I don't think they will really do anything for a while.