Month 12, 6 DPO, fed up and loosing hope

[fingerscrossed91]

Hi all,

I apologise in advance if this post is negative but I'm so so fed up with TTC. We have been trying for 12 months and haven't even had a hint of a line. My three best girlfriends (and soon to be bridesmaids) have all announced they are preggers this past month. Whilst I'm genuinely ecstatic for them I'm hurting so much as I don't believe it will ever happen for me.

I had to take a few days off work at the start of the week when the third told me they were preggers as I was just so overwhelmed and upset. A few days eating rubbish and watching Netflix made me feel a bit better but I have just lost hope that I will ever see a second pink line let alone have a baby.

I'm currently 6DPO and even though I know I won't be pregnant I'm still working myself up about it. I (stupidly) did a test today which was obv a BFN but it's like I can't help myself. It like a weird form of self torture!

I'd be so keen to talk to any hopeful mummas in a similar boat - let's keep everyone sain!

xxx

@xoJellyBean yep, too hot here for my liking lol. Wanting to move back but with all the fertility stuff kinda stuck atm 😕

Ubiquinol is just a form of coQ10 that's supposed to be good for egg health and more readily absorbed by the body. How are you finding the seven seas and what made you switch from pregnacare? I've been hesitant to take brands like that because people have said they messed up their cycle. What's your normal cycle length? I'm currently cd4, AF coming to a very slow end x

@suzy124 I'm literally dying here right now 🤣 not used to this heat... my pale skin says no! 🤪 ah very interesting. Where do you buy it? I might give it a go too - will try anything at this point. I'm liking seven seas more tbh, it's a tiny tablet and doesn't make my pee bright yellow lol I switched because I was on pregnacare for a year and it did nothing clearly 🙄 my cycles are usually 31 ish so technically I'm late right now but ovulation wasn't confirmed so I'm unsure of dpo. What about you? When do you usually ovulate x

@xoJellyBean I got it online from a website called natures best. Be warned it's not cheap tho! I might not get any more after I run out in a few weeks. But if anything I think it has given me a bit more energy. I might take a look at seven seas then. I'm just very wary about some of the tablets that have like 1000%rda ingredients in them!

Oh that's promising, have you been late before? Are you going to test? My cycles are between 27-30 days with ovulation anywhere between cd12-16. Last month was weird though 34days and started getting my hopes up even though I didn't ovulate until cd20. I take it you didn't track this month then, when is ovulation normally for you?

Oh I know it's too hot here to even sleep! Currently 28degrees in our house, all the fan is doing is blowing warm air 🥵 x

@suzy124 thanks, I'll have a look! Was reading about it there & seems to be good for sperm health aswell? I think on reading both of them, seven seas seems to be better. Doesn't have loads in it in comparison 😊 I'm worried it's delayed my period now though 🤣

I stopped testing in the last few months because seeing the stark white bfn was getting harder to cope with that af arriving 😓 I used opks this month but never got a peak, assumed I had missed it. Haven't temped in a while because I found myself getting too obsessive🙈 but usually ovulate cd18 ish! Do you temp as well as opk? X

Thanks for the welcome @xoJellyBean and @HJen22 🥰

I know, all of my friends with babies were either happy accidents or fell within the first 2 months. And here we are trying everything under the sun and no luck! Normally I try to stay really positive but struggling currently.

@suzy124 I take pregnacare but I’m the same as Jelly - a year of taking them and nothing, but I guess they’re just supposed to make our bodies healthier for conception rather than aid it? I keep hearing about Pink Stork stuff though, teas and supplements, has anyone tried that brand? I haven’t tried ubiquinol yet but it’s on my radar too haha. Part of me is also tempted just to stop it all (except folic acid) and go back to bare minimum - I feel a bit lost with it all tbh.

@xoJellyBean thank you! I will let you know how it goes. Thankfully my OH is now allowed to come with me as I will get results there and then (well I guess afterwards and not when my legs are up in stirups ha!) so that's a relief! I think if nothing comes back then they will just tell us to go away and keep trying until we get to the 2 years.

@suzy124 I hope you are feeling better today. Bless our poor OHs just don't know what to say do they! My OPKs aren't doing much yet, im predicted for Ov CD12 and just on day 9 today so they should hopefully start to get darker.

I actually just started taking Ubiquinol this month too along with evening primrose oil, both which you only take before ovulation. I read a bit of the it started with the egg or whatever its called book, a lot of it was a bit too much for me but i did take from it to try the coQ10 so bought on Amazon. I have also been taking folic acid since last March and added VitD in as well a few months back.

I hope everyone has some nice weekend plans to take their minds of TTC? The weather up in Scotland (well where I am anyway) its so sunny now but its dry and warm at least! xxx

@newtolineofduty thanks sweet. Yep, we DTD every two days from about a week after my period (as I have long cycles). xx

@fingerscrossed91 how are you feeling today, is it starting to sink in yet? 🥰 x

@HJen22 thank you, I feel it starting to lift a little now that AF is ending. There's really no choice but to keep going is there! I have looked into that book but was afraid of getting bogged down with being perfect, do you think it's worth it or just a lot of common sense? Does it say to stop the ubiquinol after ov? I was doing 200mg before and 100mg after. I think this weekend you go on your trip, I hope you have a lovely relaxing time away with family and the puppy!🥰 x

@Amy259 Yeah these supplements probably aren't making any difference at all. Did you find pregnacare affected your cycles at all?Not heard of pink stork but some months I have been drinking raspberry leaf tea before ov. I'm like you though considering stopping it all as it's maybe just adding to the pressure. My sister conceived twice without a damn vitamin in sight, didn't change her diet either so part of me thinks its just pure random x

@xoJellyBean Oh I didn't know that! I've got my man on wellman conception but he doesn't take them everyday so defeats the purpose really. Doubt he would take anything else! You haven't had the vaccine recently have you? Just wondering if that's why you might be delayed and also why you didn't peak. If I were you I'd be really tempted to test but I know that seeing a negative one is heartbreaking. For me it depends how I'm feeling, some months I do both and some I just temp around ov to confirm. Last month I just temped to confirm but no peeing on sticks which I think made me more relaxed. I think this month I won't do either and see how that goes! x

@suzy124 I'm so glad you're feeling better ❤️ a new cycle and another chance to try! Everything crossed for everyone this month 🤞🏻

Hmm the book is a lot, I skimmed a bit and then read some, I really need to go back to it. There's a lot on vitamins and supplements and then diet and stuff some of which is common sense. I'm sure I read to take evening primrose up to day of ovulation and coQ10 day before but now I can't think where I read that! I've been taking 100mg twice a day! And now I've looked back at the book maybe you just take it til you get a positive test and I've mixed it up with evening primrose oil?! I'll do some more research! Xx

@suzy124 read up some more, no idea where i got the stop at ovulation info from, so I think like you I will do 200mg before and then down to 100mg after! That way the bottle should last a little longer too! Not cheap are they!

And thank you, we go away on Monday :) looking forward to it and the week off work!! What do you have on this weekend? xxx

@suzy124 my hand hovered over the coq10 in Tesco just there, but I stayed strong and walked away! I think I’m going to try and stick to no more “try it and see” supplements until (if at all) someone tells me something is wrong.

Pregnacare didn’t change my cycle at all, I’ve got another box here so I’ll probably just keep going with them for now. And I take omega 3 (I’m veggie), vit D, and evening primrose oil for the first half of my cycle to help with cm. Did raspberry tea leaf affect your cycle at all?

@Amy259 i know its so easy to get caught up in different things to try! Phew so I am right in thinking Evening Primrose Oil is just until ovulation? To be honest I don't ever really get the EWCM that is spoken about! So I was really hoping that and grapefruit juice might help haha but I tried juice last month and didn't notice any difference! xxx

@HJen22 how long do you have to wait until your appt?😊 that's fab that your OH can come too! I'm sure that will ease the nerves a little.

@suzy124 I got wellman conception for my OH too and he was like what the hell are you making me take 🤣 no, I haven't taken the vaccine yet🙈 I have heard for sooo many people it's made them have messed up cycles as well! I'm half tempted to go get a frer but at the same time I really don't know what to do! I've got no PMS this month either 😓 weird. You'll have a relaxed cycle this time round then 😊 it's quite liberating when you stop tracking!! I'll hopefully not be too far behind you and we can go through the tww together 🤞🏻

@HJen22 so easy! Desperation will make me try anything 😂

I read EPO can cause uterine contractions so you should stop after ov? So I just do that.. I figure I don’t need cm after that anyway haha, then start again on CD1. I do the same, EPO and in fw add in pink grapefruit juice, and have done it for the last two cycles and noticed a big difference. I assume it has to be because of them! Are you drinking the fresh stuff rather than from concentrate? Xx

@xoJellyBean my appointment is 19th August and I have a telephone call the day before I guess just to go over it! No DTD unprotected beforehand! I am hoping I ovulate after the appointment but will have to wait and see. Might just not be able to try that month! I was referred back in March, had the first initial call in June and then appointment August, so been about 6 months, could have been worse but also probably would have been quicker if not for covid!

@Amy259 oh that's good to know, i just started this cycle with EPO so will stick with it and hopefully notice a difference! Oh I'm not sure, I just got the Tropicana one, is that from concentrate? Which one do you have? xxx

@Amy259 I actually got some EPO recently but hadn't committed to it yet - what's it meant to be good for again??

@HJen22 seems to be moving quickly enough for you!! 🤞🏻 how long are your cycles? Apols if you've already said, this heat makes my brain useless 🙈

I've got some cramps and brown spotting, af will be here soon 🙄

@HJen22 I’m not sure about the Tropicana one, sorry - I buy the Tesco one in a plastic bottle. It should tell you on it “not from concentrate” and make sure it’s pink grapefruit x

@xoJellyBean it’s to help increase ewcm, I normally get hardly any! Sorry to hear it looks like af is on the way 😔

@Amy259 it says 100% pure pressed juice? Hopefully it's right. I wasn't so keen on the taste at first but got used to it!

@xoJellyBean my cycles are quite short, normally around 26 days but can be anything from 24 to 28! I got a letter through today just with an overview of the call with the fertility Dr and it has my FSH on it. I knew she'd said it was a bit high but I didn't know the figure, but it says on the letter 10.6. Freaked myself out as it should be under 10 I think! I also feel like AF has gotten lighter the last few months. I hope I'm over thinking but I can't help but worry!

I'm sorry to hear that AF looks like it's on its way 😞 not out yet though! I hope you have some nice things planned over the weekend as a distraction Xxx

@Amy259 lol sorry posted that too early. That's helpful to know about the EPO, will defo give it a go. I don't always notice ewcm so assume I don't have much!

@HJen22 oh really?? Will they put you on anything to bring it down? I'm going car shopping today so that's a nice distraction 🤣

It weird though - had some brown spotting and then before bed I had some pink when I wiped! Nothing has reached the pad so I'm hoping this is a good sign 🤞🏻😓

@xoJellyBean I don't ever really notice much either! Maybe only a few times but def not every month!

I don't think it can be brought down, I think different pleases measure different but she did say it's a little high. I think that's what the internal scan will show, number of follicles!

Ooh car shopping that's exciting! We had thought about a new car to share and keep one of our other ones but going to hold off a bit, can't wait though, I've had the same car for over 10 years haha!

I really hope that is a good sign! How many days late are you now? Xxx

Ohhh @xoJellyBean hopefully that’s a good sign! 🤞🏻 when is af due?

There’s a woman who lives a few streets away from us and is a well known trouble maker, wears an ankle tag and is always getting in bother with the police, she’s a drug user (and is on methadone) and alcoholic. I’m far from judgy, but the background is relevant for the next part… I’m out with the dogs and just walked by her and her newly protruding bump. She’s pregnant!

I’m honestly in a state of disbelief. I know it happens, but seeing it with my own eyes is brutal. Here we all are a year in, talking about whether or not we have enough vitamins 💔

@HJen22 I've heard so much about the follicle scans, would love to get one done to really know what's going on in there. Just got back from car shopping and I've defo my heart set on it so will see next week how it goes! I'm such a petrol head, had this car for 10 months lol I wish I could have mine for 10 years, that's really good going! 🤩 I'm 3 days late according to Femometer. Still nothing 🤞🏻 how you're enjoying the good weather today!!

@Amy259 it was due on Wednesday! I'm too scared to test. I got a tarot reading last year and she said my significant months was July so I am just so anxious 🤯 lol. Oh my, that's just so typical. I always wonder how drug addicts etc. get pregnant so easily... always the way😓 are there many pregnant ladies close to you?

Happy weekend all! Just a note on the grapefruit juice, it has to say not from concentrate on it. I get mine from sainsbury's in a carton if that helps anyone, started drinking it last month but tbh didn't notice any difference in the amount of cm. But as some comfort I've seen loads of ladies on here worrying about not having ewcm and got pregnant anyway!

@HJen22 yep fingers well and truly crossed for us all! 🤞 Ah, thanks for checking about the coQ10. Tbh I've no idea what I'm doing but that was my thinking too - make them last longer before burning another hole in my pocket!

Sorry to hear you've been a bit worried about FSH, just try not to do any googling before your appointment in August when you can speak to them about it and know for sure. I am sure everything will be ok hun 💙x

@Amy259 It's truly unfair and I know how you feel. I've got neighbours either side of me with newborns (albeit not drug addicts) but just seeing them or hearing their baby cry is like torture. Easier said than done but just focus on yourself, my OH is always telling me to stop worrying about other people lol. Our time will come and this will all be behind us someday 💙

Well done for not buying more vitamins! Deep down I truly don't think that's what's got anyone pregnant. I'm also veggie so take omega 3 and snack on walnuts etc. Didn't notice any change with the raspberry leaf tea, it's supposed to help with period pain as well but for me it made no difference. Just drinking it to use up the bag really as I hate wasting things x

@xoJellyBean is your OH taking the vits? For my own sanity I think I'm gonna have to give up reminding mine to take his! Also things sound really promising for you! 🤞 When do you think you might test? x

@xoJellyBean wow! I can’t believe you haven’t tested yet - please get round here and give me some of your willpower/patience! By 8dpo I’m itching to test, even after all the months of bfns. Exciting that a new car is distracting you though, what have you got your eye on?
4 of my friends now have 1 year olds, plus one just had a newborn (along with her 16 month old). We were away last week with one set and their 13 month old and they know we’re trying and struggling, and were wonderful about it all - they obviously fell the first month they tried, but really acknowledge how lucky they are. A girl we know who got married two weeks after us has also now announced, which wasn’t the easiest. DH’s brother and his wife will be trying soon (if not already) and I’m dreading that one the most. What about you?

@suzy124 aww that must be so hard having to see/hear babies every day, that’s really tough. I’m sick of reminding DH about his vitamins too, but he’s getting better.. I think haha.