Month 12, 6 DPO, fed up and loosing hope

[fingerscrossed91]

Hi all,

I apologise in advance if this post is negative but I'm so so fed up with TTC. We have been trying for 12 months and haven't even had a hint of a line. My three best girlfriends (and soon to be bridesmaids) have all announced they are preggers this past month. Whilst I'm genuinely ecstatic for them I'm hurting so much as I don't believe it will ever happen for me.

I had to take a few days off work at the start of the week when the third told me they were preggers as I was just so overwhelmed and upset. A few days eating rubbish and watching Netflix made me feel a bit better but I have just lost hope that I will ever see a second pink line let alone have a baby.

I'm currently 6DPO and even though I know I won't be pregnant I'm still working myself up about it. I (stupidly) did a test today which was obv a BFN but it's like I can't help myself. It like a weird form of self torture!

I'd be so keen to talk to any hopeful mummas in a similar boat - let's keep everyone sain!

xxx

@HJen22 I'm the same, I cry at random moments and have done in front of people who I really didn't want to see me cry! I'm really glad you're doing ok atm but if you need to let out all the anger and sadness tomorrow just go for it! I pretty much cry every therapy session because I'm not crying during the week anymore and it all just comes out lol.

It's not like she was really negative but not overly helpful either. I did say I have pretty regular periods can I not book for next month now? And she said no you have to ring on cd1. Also I don't get why it has to be between cd5-10 if they say no sex so you won't be pregnant the rest of the month anyway?

Was hoping to meet a friend I haven't seen for ages but it's been postponed so probably just also doing some arty/crafty things! I hope you have a lovely dinner out for your parents anniversary, is it a surprise? Xx

@HJen22 ooo that does sound appealing! Only having to do them once a day would save me so much effort too. I am guilting of retaking photos for a better reading too haha 🙈

That’s crazy! I love that there’s a job like that out there though haha Puppy Sitters 😍 adorable!

Yes I have the same with my work colleagues and last year they had a bet on me and one other person to be pregnant before Christmas. No idea why, they don’t even know we are trying. So that was difficult, I ended up snapping at someone who kept mentioning it. I hope you people have stopped asking you now too.

I’m glad to hear your interactions have been friendly though. Fingers crossed mine are a little nicer this time round. I’m not sure who my doctor is, I think they just set me up with anyone who was available. Ooooh a chlamydia swab, I suppose they have to check everything 😳 I’m hoping my appointment after my chat is pretty soon. I will be in my TWW so it would be nice to be distracted then lol

Honestly I don’t have much plans. I’m thinking some crafts, a bath, painting my nails, maybe a movie night. Just nice and chilled.

An anniversary meal with your family sounds so lovely! Congratulations to your parents too 💞

@suzy124
this is our 12th month and I’m just worried as I’ve read some people struggled to get help until it was 2 years. Others said they weren’t qualified for help at all because their partners already had children.

I don’t know who my GP is to be honest, but anyone else I’ve spoken to on the phone before has been nice. Maybe that nurse had her own problems, who knows!

£500 is so much money, especially since we should get it for free on NHS. I know some of them offer payment plans and such which is great. I just really hope it doesn’t get to that though, but the dates are so frustrating trying to get them to line up.

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@HopefulGlow it depends very much where you are what they will do for you but try not to think the worst just yet. They will definitely carry out basic tests first. I really hope you get a nice doctor, makes all the difference. Also don't be afraid to bump that number up to 2 years to be safe, everyone does it xx

@suzy124 I did think about fibbing a little about the dates but then I remembered they will have it on file when I had my coil removed 🤦🏼‍♀️

I’m hoping even some basic tests will help me chill out a little. I feel like I’ve just been getting more and more upset and frustrated as time goes on. It’s tiring isn’t it!

I love that we are all doing crafty things to keep busy! That’s Christmas presents sorted this year haha

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@suzy124 yeah I said to my Mum on the phone earlier I had been feeling a bit better and she said she thought I looked better when I last seen them! It's definitely better to just let the tears out isn't it. Do you think knowing you have her to talk to makes you get through the other days a little better and that's why you don't cry? I go through phases of crying lots and then a few days of nothing, I am almost sure I will come crashing down again next week but I am hoping not. I haven't even done anything differently. Just remembered I cried yesterday hahaha reading a book called The Injustice of Infertility, it's so good!

Yeah I know what you mean, just like it was a No/can't/have to wait. And yeah, you'd think it wouldn't matter if you can't try that month anyway! Everywhere seems to do these things differently, its so bizarre!

That's a shame your friend had to postpone! Hopefully the sun comes out and its a nice weekend! Thank you, not a surprise as it was their anniversary a few weeks ago but this was the first weekend we could all manage, will be nice to all go out together! And I've checked the menu for things for me to have and there are a few options phew!

@HopefulGlow haha yeah I was always taking photos until i got the best one! Or the one that came up the most often! So it takes away from that! Although more expensive! And you have to remember to do it as soon as you wake up!

A bet on!! Jeez how insensitive are people! I really don't get it!! It's something that is so personal! Can't believe that! I still get the odd comment, one friend likes to ask me now and again in a group chat, which i also find strange. Can't she take the hint when I ignore it every time!! I also find it rude cos if you were, and someone ruined it, how gutting would that be!

Try and not worry too much as Suzy124 says, best thing to do is just chat to the Dr and see what they say. Hopefully they are helpful and proactive and get some tests organised. Ha yeah I had no idea about the swab, I had to call up and ask if it was in your mouth and got told sadly not, internal haha!

I know how you feel, as it got to the 12month mark I really started to struggle emotionally, actually even before that, I came off the pill in the March and by Nov/Dec time I was getting so so upset and having a meltdown each month, numerous times. I think because they use a year as a marker, it just makes it so daunting.

xxx

@HJen22 I’m the same! I always look at menus before too. One things I’ve been doing recently is having a teaspoon of powdered coconut milk in my coffee or matcha, then top it with almond milk 😍 oh my goodness it’s delicious! As for the the cheese 😩 if it’s melted, vegan cheese isn’t too bad. But the best ones are flavoured. like smoked applewood, Tesco spicy Mexican, even own brand cheese spreads are good. You can’t tell they’re dairy free!!

I think I should be able to remember to take it in the mornings. I might try it next cycle. because the smiley face looks cute to haha

I know, some people are just clueless with the questioning! My sister and her DH struggled for a couple of years and they would get asked all the time when they were having a baby. So nosy!!

I will try my best to be positive and see what they say. You guys have been a huge support already, even just talking about it! So thank you 💕

It’s exactly that isn’t it. 12 months seems like the countdown, like it should happen by then and it just gives you extra pressure. I’m so sorry you struggle so much too. It’s awful not being in control of something like this too.

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Hi all

I just wanted to join this thread because I’m also super fed up (CD 1 today ☹️)

I have had PCOS for years but only when I started ttc with DP in March 2020 did my periods suddenly go completely out of whack (did pull out for years before)- 45/37/20 day cycles!

I also completely lost my libido - this coincided with the pandemic and lockdown so I’m not sure if that affected me -probably did as I put on weight sitting in doors all day also.

Anyway I lied to the doctors and told them I’d been ttc for a year when in actual fact it was 6/7 months (I was too anxious to let it go on longer)

Since then I’ve had 2x Hycosy - 1st showed left blocked but 2nd was completely clear so that’s been ruled out

DP 1st sperm analysis (October 20) was 9million low with 100% anti sperm antibodies
2nd analysis (April 21) was 32million zero anti sperm antibodies so he’s been flagged as fine now

Ive been put on Letrozole/femera and monitored for last 3 months. I’ve now just come on my period today so failed 3rd cycle.

I’ve also been doing acupuncture 1x per week for 6 weeks - 7th session tomorrow

I’m 33, 34 in Nov and got pregnant on the PILL with a awful boyfriend when I was 21/22 (had abortion - was right thing to do in the situation)

I don’t understand, I’m so angry and fed up.

People give their advice ‘not to think about it & relax’ but at the same time advise not to smoke, drink alcohol, go to acupuncture which takes 2 hours of my lunch break every Friday, not exercise too much or too little, eat really healthily everyday of your life, tell your DP not to drink or eat kebabs (he loves both) - HOW exactly am I not meant to think about it?

It’s affected my friendships as ive avoided both my friends with kids and my hedonistic friends who still drink wine like water and smoke like fishes (both of which I enjoy too much to see them too often), I feel like I’m letting down my family so ive avoided them also. It’s just SO hard. It’s caused huge arguments with my DP who just doesn’t get it.

Has anyone been in my situation and had a positive story that could shed some light?

Sorry to be so meant/a downer- I know there’s people who have tried for much longer - I would never wish fertility issues on anyone who wants children it’s so so so hard.

Love to you all - these forums have really helped me in this lonely journey. Xxxxx

@HopefulGlow haha same, I've always been someone who looks at menus! Need to even more so now! Ooh that sounds lovely! I have a morning decaff with coconut milk or almond. I had the almond in museli one day and hated it though, way too almond-y haha but in coffee its fine!

Ooh thanks I will have a look out for those cheeses! The violife one is ok, I'm not sure I'd not be having it on toast but in something is ok! It reminds me of a cross between butter and a certain cheese but I can't think which!

Yeah I liked the smiley faces and easiness of it all! Wish it had worked but sadly not, I really hope it does for you though!!!!

So nosey isn't it, your poor sister. Does she know that you are TTC?

Aww thats exactly what we are here for, it really has helped me too, so thank you too it's so nice to talk to people who really understand the struggle and can offer support and advise and just somewhere to vent our frustrations, sadness, all the emotions we go through!

xxx

@Mouseyel welcome, all of the ladies in here are so wonderful so you have come to the right place :)

I am so sorry to hear you are having a struggle like the rest of us, it really is such a hard time, emotionally, physically and mentally! And so sorry that with your medication it hasn't happened yet :(

Really understand and can relate to everything you say, it's so hard to "relax" when it's not happening and you just don't know why not. Friendships can be massively strained, when we aren't all on the same path at the same time, and I know, trying to do everything physically possible to fall pregnant can be so draining at times! We've also discussed in here the pressure and strain it puts on our relationships with our OHs so please know that you are not alone x

Don't be silly, not a downer at all, we all have those days/weeks and its better to let it out, vent in here and we can all support you.

Sadly I don't have a success story, but am here to chat :) xxx

@HJen22 @AZ1992X @Amy259 @suzy124 how are you all?! I didn't get any notifications for this for some reason. I'm glad you have your letter @HJen22! Hopefully 2022 will be a nice fresh start!

I had my hycosy today and what an ordeal!!! Ultimately there were many issues due to my cervix being really tight and bending the tubes (like actually) but he managed in the end and no tube issues. No issues in general. Had 15 follicles in 1 ovary and 22 in the other. The procedure wasn't painful to begin with. 30 odd mins in and 4 different ways of trying to get the tube in then it started to hurt but I just put up with it. They had to check it was working because I wasn't reacting at all lol. The Dr was so chuffed with the pics. He said it's the best he's seen in a while. I thought he was just saying that to be nice (he was SUPER nice) but apparently when I was in the bathroom dh said he was showing all the nurses 😂.

They also took blood for AMH but I won't find out unless there's an issue. AFTER THAT for some reason adrenaline took over and I fainted and was sick and had to lie on the bed for ages. Felt like such a drama queen after keeping composure haha.

He did mention that my uterus was slightly tilted but shouldn't be any real fertility issue and he said the foam go to the tubes no bother so sperm should be fine.

Anyone else know of anyone with a tilted uterus or any hints and tips?

Due to peak in a few days but tests still low at the moment!

Otherwise I've been trying to pass the time since there's been another announcement 😢

@Loops01 hello lovely! Good thanks and how are you?

Oh my goodness you poor thing! I really know what you mean though, I came over all funny afterwards too and was shaky and my hands and fingers cramped up!

How are you feeling now? I hope they took good care of you. And glad that your OH able to be there with you. And bless your Dr sounds lovely!! Showing off your pictures that's so sweet!

Great news about your tubes and follicles though! So many!! So sorry you had such a traumatic experience though, sounds like you did so well through the procedure!

Funny I've been told I had a tilted uterus before when they've struggled to do a smear, I told the Dr this at my HyCosy and said no I didn't 🤷🏻‍♀️ but yeah I'd read it wasn't an issue.

What are the next steps for you?

I'm sorry there has been another announcement, they really hurt don't they 😞 rest up and take care of yourself this evening xxx

@HJen22 thanks for taking the time to write that lovely reply.

It is hard. I know I’ll feel abit better after today!

How long have you been ttc for?

Have you been on any meds etc?

Comforting to know others argue with thier OH. Mine loves a drink and it’s so hard to try to get him to cut down recently- I think he finds it all quite upsetting too but not supportive in the way I need.

@Mouseyel CD1 always sucks doesn't it 😞 but tomorrow is a new day, and as FW gets closer I am sure you will feel more positive and another month to try 🥰

We have been TTC since March 2020. I recently had a HyCosy and internal scan and due to low ovarian reserve we were subsequently referred for IVF. Bit of a waiting list but we've received a letter to say we should get our appointment through in January with treatment thereafter.

I'm on a concoction of medication as per a nutritionists advise. So many 😂 was already taking folic acid, vit D, coQ10 (for egg health) and evening primrose oil. Also got herbal supplements from the acupuncturist! So I'm rattling 😂😂😂

Yeah we've argued a lot throughout, less now that we've been referred cos I've just been so sad and numb rather than caring about DTD. I feel a bit better this last week and I think taking the pressure off DTD as much as possible has helped. We still want to try whilst we're waiting but I'm going to try and not stress about it now. Easier said than done I know!

@HopefulGlow aw damn that's annoying! Well they are sure to definitely start investigating anyway which if nothing else can help put your mind at ease. Hope it goes well!

@HJen22 yeah it definitely helps knowing I have that time every week to say anything I feel and work through difficulties. Have you made any notes for tomorrow? I hitch reminds me I have to make mine!

@Mouseyel welcome! I'm really sorry you've got shitty cycles atm, is the medication helping to regulate them at all? Is it similar to clomid? Don't worry about lying to doctors, I have too. It's the right thing to do when time isn't on our side and the toll on our mental health is so massive. Can I ask how your OH got rid of the antisperm antibodies? My OH has them around 20% atm and we don't know why

@Loops01 I'm sorry today was such an ordeal but fantastic news about the results! You never know your scans might be used as teaching material in future 😂 How do you feel now? I'm also now booked in for my amh bloods and trying to get my tube hsg scan sorted

Xx

@HJen22 * which reminds me, not I hitch 🙄

@HJen22 - I’m so sorry you’re going through this it’s the hardest thing. January at least gives you a few months to prep and relax but also isn’t too far away at all and I’ve heard of SO many success stories with IVF including a girlfriend I worked with who had twins after 6 years of ttc. Wishing you all the luck in the world! I was taking same vitamins and you’ve reminded me I need to take them religiously this month because I keep forgetting/running out. Was the nutritionist helpful?

@suzy124 thank you! Yes I’m glad I lied tbh lol. Letrozole is similar to clomid- I think it’s especially effective for those with PCOS. I’m trying to decide whether to start them again this month (tomorrow) or have a break because I just feel so exhausted by it all and it’s really hard to keep sneaking away from work to go to the millions of monitoring appts you have to go to (to see if you’ve produced a follicle/what size it is etc etc). I think I’ll see how I feel tomorrow. It has made my cycles shorter and made me ovulate but I was also ovulating by myself when tested but had long/irregular cycles so it’s hard to know what the issue is.

Re the anti sperm antibodies I have no idea how they went away- I’m still really sceptical about the 2nd test showing up clear. There’s minimal info online and doctors seem vague. They said they could’ve be caused by an infection? My OH has inverse psoriasis which makes his foreskin tight and crack and bleed when he gets a flare up (sorry if TMI!!!) and I wonder if that had anything to do with it…

What is everyone’s opinion on smoking and drinking alcohol have you completely given up/limited? I went to a wedding last week which was basically a 3 day bender (after being fairly limited for a long time) and I wonder if that effected my shot at implantation.

I also smoked. I’m usually not a smoker (unless I’m really drunk) but I find the stress of ttc really makes me crave nicotine more than usual!

I was also stressed because I hadn’t seen my extended family in 2ish years due to lockdown and it was all quite overwhelming. I find it hard to relax during implantation week for some reason maybe hormones?

Anyway this thread is really making me feel better this eve thanks all xxx

@Mouseyel if the meds are working like they should what's the reason for having to keep going to scans all the time? I would have thought they'd do that for a month or two and then let you carry on.

Oh well if you ever do find anything out please let me know! I was told not to be concerned by then but online says different, and my OH has no injury or infections (that we know of!)

I was never a big drinker so no alcohol was easy for me. I sometimes have a wee drink during AF just but if you have a glass of wine at weekends or something I really don't think it will hurt chances. But I would say def give up the smoking!

What did the nhs say they'd do next for you? Xx

Hi all! I feel like I have missed loads of chatter 🤣.

Welcome @Mouseyel! Sorry you’re going through this too. That’s such an amazing story about your friend having twins! Hopefully the rest of us don’t have to wait too much longer for our BFP’s💕.

I am not a big drinker at home, but I do sometimes go for dinner with friends and end up having far too much to drink! I tend to beat myself up about it (especially when I have the fear lol). But I try to remind myself that I need to have a life! I’m going out for dinner and drinks on Saturday actually and feeling stressed about it already as I am in TWW, but what am I meant to do.. stay home and hope I’m pregnant?! If I had done that for the last 2 years, I think I would of lost my marbles😂. So anyway, I’m rambling, for me, it’s worth it in moderation as I enjoy the social aspect.

Another issue is that my OH smokes (yet another point of contention in our TTC journey!). He is trying to quit, but I don’t think he’s trying hard enough. Everyday he finds a reason that he needs to have a cigarette, I just don’t think he understands/takes it seriously the impact this will have on us receiving funding. I am trying to keep calm but the fact this is the ONLY thing he is being expected to do, is really getting to me more and more as each day goes by.

@Loops01 I’m so glad to hear the results from your HyCosy were positive! Sounds like you had a bit of an ordeal afterwards though 😵, I hope you’re feeling okay. I think someone else has already asked - what are your next steps?

@HJen22 good luck with your counselling tomorrow, looking forward to hearing about it 😊.
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After me saying I like to stay off social media for my mental health, I logged into Instagram and seen a colleague who is still on maternity leave, announcing she is pregnant again! Another total shock. I know this doesn’t actually make any difference to me, it just hurts she’s going to have had two babies almost in the same space of time we’ve been trying for one😭.

Xx

Thanks everyone! Were just to wait until the 2 year mark and then we will get a referral letter automatically from them apparently! That will then be for the ivf. He told me to stop tracking and just have sex 2-3 times a week and hopefully I won't need the ivf. Felt like saying I don't even see dh 2-3 times a week nevermind for sex!

@HJen22 another couple I know had theirs yesterday (not hycosy due to her age-late 30s) but she was told that she only has 8 follicles and they have been referred for ivf within the 4-6 months! What book was it you were reading that you found good??

Hi ladies, I hope you don't mind me popping on I have read this thread in detail. Me and dh have been trying since our wedding in 2018. Still not even a whiff of a bfp. But I didn't come on to talk about me. I just wanted to say your inspirational women and I truly hope that you all get to be mummy's very soon and also @HJen22 I hope you're first counselling session today goes well. Glad you finally have the ball rolling for the ivf sending love and hugs to you all xxx

@Mouseyel welcome! We all know how it feels so don’t worry, you can let it all out here.

So sorry your cycles are out of whack too, that’s so frustrating. How long have you been on the meds for? Have they changed anything?

As for your OH, can you not ask him to slowly cut down? Cut it out bit by bit? Or maybe swap the odd drink for an alcohol free one? There’s some really nice no alcohol beers out there now too.

I honestly think making little changes is easier and more beneficial than not making any? It’s okay to have the odd take-away or glass of wine but make sure it’s balanced. I think your mood is just as important as the food we eat too, so make sure you’re not making yourself miserable with diets.

As for the friends and family, is there no one you can open up to? Explain how you’re feeling? I know only one friend and my mum knows and I talk to my friend about it when I’m down, which really helps. But mainly coming on here has helped the most 💕

I also have the odd disagreement/argument with my OH, especially when I’m feeling down and beating myself up about it all. He works with pregnant women so i know he’s seen and heard it all. Which is probably why he’s so much more chilled than I am with it all!

Communication is key though! They need to be able to tell you how they are feeling, just like you need to tell them. You are both going through the same thing, just different perspectives ✨

@HJen22 I know what you mean, I can’t have it on cereal either haha way too much! I love having oat milk with cereal, it’s not too strong. Soya milk I only use for cooking because I just don’t like the flavour 🤷🏼‍♀️ Have you seen the dark chocolate in Aldi? Most of those are dairy free too, so good! I do have a list of treat chocolates that are dairy free but they are so expensive haha so if you fancy splashing out, let me know and I will share them 😂 I save those for Christmas when I’m feeling luxurious haha

My sister doesn’t know, she has been selling her baby stuff recently too and I’ve had to stop myself asking for them haha I don’t want to get ahead of myself 🙈 my little neice has just started saying my name, it melts my heart! It took us longer to bond because she’s a covid baby, so now we can see each other again it’s so much better!

@Loops01 so sorry to hear about your fainting, I hope you came round quickly! Great news about your results too! Do they know what the next steps are?

My sister has a tilted uterus!! She took almost 2 years to get her first but the second was fine. Apparently it shouldn’t affect things though, in terms of TTC? I’m sure that’s what I was told?

Ooo we are close! I’m due to O today or tomorrow apparently…no peaks yet though 😓 so my day will consist of me constantly peeing in my pot 😂

@suzy124
thank you! Even getting the ball rolling with it all has given me hope. Or at least calmed me down a bit!

@User1400 I agree!! We can’t stop living our lives and only focus on the chance that we might be pregnant, it would drive us crazy!! I think everything in moderation is key. If you want some wine, have some, you want to order a pizza, order it! I don’t think doing these things on a small scale will do us any harm. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m tempted to have a Prosecco tonight, it’s Friday and I feel like I deserve it haha

I think I’ve replied to everyone! Sorry if I missed any, there’s been a lot of chatter haha
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@mummyjojo19 welcome!!

We are always happy to have new faces supporting each other. But sorry you are going through this too.

Have you had any tests yet? ✨💕✨

Thanks @HopefulGlow! Good to know about your sister! It's a shame she is selling everything though. Do you not want to tell her to save some? I'm due to peak tomorrow I think then obvs ov the day after so it'll be another 29 day cycle which is good considering I had my second covid vac so it means it hasn't really affected things this time! I knew it would be soon as I had a MASSIVE follicle! Trying to do some better sex positions for tilted and legs up for longer but I'm worried that they aren't getting through my cervix since the Dr struggled. I've heard that if youre periods are fine and normal then nothing stopping sperm getting up there. I don't think I have stenosis either but worried that that and tilted is making things more difficult. God knows. Difficult because this month should be out due to hycosy but dh is also away from tonight for work then when he is back my shifts and life is a bit hectic. It also means that next month we are out because of dh potentially being away for the entire fw. I hate our work!!!!!!!!

Have that prosecco!! I think a drink every now and again is fine! I personally wouldn't have more than a gin or two during a cycle unless I knew it was AF or I'm out of game!

I am still trying to lose weight but for some reason keep putting on. Its not much but I've taken up more exercise and cal counting. Stopping all alcohol, fizzy juice and sweets until annual leave next month and eating much better. Doing roughly 18k steps a day and cardio every 2nd day. Still putting on... 🙄 Hoping it's just body trying to get used to things. Will take official weight and measurements at the very end of the month. Any progress in some way might give me more motivation but it's so difficult!!!! There's no happy medium 😂

@suzy124 I hope you have a good session with your Therapist today, I haven't taken any notes I thought I'd just see how I felt at the time, however knowing I am away to be talking about it all has brought back the feelings of worry (about everything!) that I have been trying not take over this week! But I am hopeful talking with someone will help with a lot of my feelings and worries x

@Mouseyel thank you for your kind words x the nutrionist was nice, she has me taking tests for all sorts of things, and cutting out gluten and dairy etc. I like that I feel I am doing my utmost to help in any way / prepare my body, but it's hard and i find myself annoyed I am having to do this when so many people just fall pregnant so easily! A terrible "feeling sorry for myself" attitude but most days I am fine with it and know it will all be worth it in the end!

@User1400 thank you lovely! I will let you know how it goes! Oh im so sorry there was another announcement, they really are constant aren't they! Just cant seem to get away from it! I hope you are ok, keep your chin up, our time will come xxx i totally know what you mean though, i find myself calculating too, in the time we've been trying my stepdaughters mum has been pregnant twice (on MC) and is due in December. That was a hard pill to swallow as i really wanted to give my stepdaughter a baby brother/sister (she already has others but they are older) x

@Loops01 when is your 2 year mark again? Sorry, i have def asked this! I know its hard when nothing comes back with a reason, and you have to wait, but i really hope it happens for you in the meantime! Oh its such a good book, its called Get A Life: His & Hers Survival Guide to IVF, I would highly recommend it. I am sorry to hear they have been referred :(

@mummyjojo19 welcome! And thank you for your kind words! I am so sorry to hear you are struggling, we are all here for a chat and support x

Re drinking, I don't think one or two will do any harm, so many people don't even know they are pregnant to start with. You have to still have a life. I stopped when we first started TTC then as it went on, I'd allow myself some here and there. I am T total now from the Nutrionists advice and because I want to be in the best condition for IVF. But do what is best for you! Everyone is different. I used to smoke and so did my OH, I was more of a sociable smoker so know what you mean when out with friends. The longer you go without the easier it gets. But I know it's hard asking / wanting someone else to stop as you can only have control over yourself xxx

@HJen22 2 years will be up in Aug 2022. Such a thought. That's why with the 4-6 months it'll be 2023!

Did you find out your AMH BTW? Not sure if they told you because of the follicles? I was told I wouldn't get told unless needed but I'm interested to know!!

The other couple got told that they might have a Christmas baby so I think they are thinking it's more 4 months for the referral now so you might not be long!! Crazy to think. I'll let them know about the book. She doesn't have the more normal cycles and he didn't initially have the best SA but thinking major apart from the 8 follicles. The Dr said he couldn't recommend anything but said he has heard impryl is good for egg health. It's so expensive for very little. I'm tempted to try but I'm fed up of wasting money!!

They also said if they got pregnant naturally andthen had a mc then the 2 years would reset however if they got pregnant via ivf and then mc then they still get the 3 cycles. So the mc wouldn't count as a used ivf apparently??