Trying to conceive over 40

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us girls

@Catconfusion congratulations on reaching 5 weeks!! V sorry to hear about your dog but glad to hear he’s stabilised a bit now.

Hi @Jem1979 !

I’m going to do an early pregnancy test tomorrow because we have to make a decision about whether to order the medication to start ivf next week. Not sure if it’s too early to test (in theory it should be 6 days before AF, but in reality my cycle is between 30-32 days so it could be too soon…). I’m half hopeful and half realist 🤣

Hi all! Can I join? I’ve been TTC for 2.5 years and have secondary infertility due to DH having a very low sperm count. I’m 41.

I got my period today and am feeling quite low and picked a fight with DH.

I called a fertility clinic earlier in the month, and am yet to make an appointment (they have a slot in September).

Does anyone who has gone down the fertility treatment route know how long it takes to get things moving after the first appointment?

@Keeptrying7 are you looking at Nhs clinics (assume you don’t have the luxury given it’s secondary infertility like me and I’m assuming I are looking in the U.K.?

It seems wait times are pretty quick if non existent on the U.K. if it’s private but I only tried before covid. There were no wait times abroad but for us ivf took a lot of time. More than you realise I think when we started…. Best of luck though.

[quote Unicorn9]@Keeptrying7 are you looking at Nhs clinics (assume you don’t have the luxury given it’s secondary infertility like me and I’m assuming I are looking in the U.K.?

It seems wait times are pretty quick if non existent on the U.K. if it’s private but I only tried before covid. There were no wait times abroad but for us ivf took a lot of time. More than you realise I think when we started…. Best of luck though.[/quote]
I’ve contacted private clinics in London, and the Evewell has offered me a few appointment dates choices in September, but I’m yet to book. I think I will tonight.

I’m wondering how long it’ll all take after the initial consultation to get things started, although we did all of our investigations on the NHS so can bring our results along to that.

I’m feeling so down about it all today! Not sure if I should go all in with fertility treatment, or move on and give up. So hard to know what to do! (Or how to mentally give up!)

Thank you @99pctpractice it does feel like a big milestone but with such a long way to go. I guess I’ll just take each day as it comes and hope for the best. Xx

@Keeptrying7 I’m not really in the right place to offer much advice as we tried ivf and ICSi and got 3 euploid embryos in the end but every one of them failed to implant. And I’ve just had the last failure so not in a good place.

In my personal experience I have had 7 miscarriages, 5 in 18 months so wanted some hope that if we just put normal ones back then it would work. But for you it’s different as it’s a sperm issue so this would all help surely and then at least you would know you tried. I would try sooner rather than later and I would try go for somewhere where you can get two cycles and free FET. We didn’t and it ended up costing thousands on everything when it was done.

I wouldn’t do pgt testing now ourselves as all ours came back normal but if I did do it then if I had enough eggs I would still do a fresh transfer and then get the rest tested. I wouldn’t bother with an ERA as it didn’t help us just cost £1500 for nothing but it did give us the reassurance that the timing we had was at least right.

It’s a can of worms that is opened that makes you wonder what if I try this or this or this.

I would ask the consultant how many eggs they expect to get from you as we were so disappointed to get three to day 5/6 and in hindsight I don’t think it was that bad.

You have nothing to lose to book the appointment and just go to the consult?!?

@Keeptrying7 I was thinking if you can only get a consult with a U.K. fertility clinic in September them why not do a free consult on Skype with an ivf clinic abroad? Maybe they could answer some of your questions before u try the U.K. consult?!?

Hi @Keeptrying7 !

We had our fertility tests done in July, had our first consultation at the clinic we’re going with on 22 July and are planning on starting ivf in august (some time from 8/10 Aug). So I think it can be pretty fast, but it depends how busy the clinic you want to go with is and when they can fit you in. The consultant I initially wanted to go with couldn’t see me for 3 months (he’s actually at Evewell), so we are now going with the recommendation of a friend (who’s 36 weeks pregnant after going through ivf with our consultant…). I didn’t have the best experience at Evewell (v disorganised), but they do seem to have very good success rates.

Sorry you’re feeling low, it sucks getting your period when you’re ttc. I have low AMH so we just decided to go for ivf now, rather than continuing to try for 6 months when the chances of success are pretty low and then regretting not trying ivf earlier…

@Jem1979 yes deffo better to get the ball rolling as it can take an age to get tests etc done. My oh isn't keen on ivf either so likely to just be natural for us too but it's good to know if any issues, from the tests I've had I found I had terrible iron levels which are now where they should be, I have adenomyosis and possible endometriosis which could both be stopping it happening for us. I know breast feeding can be an issue for some but I think that's only if your cycles haven't returned - could be wrong though. I believe I'm the same age as you going by your user name and I'm always worried about it but also know plenty of people that have managed it!

@Unicorn9 it's not worked for me but nothing has lol I think endo/adeno is the culprit for that so hopefully after my appointment in 3 weeks I'll get referred for a laparoscopy which may hopefully clear as much as possible and give us a chance!! But I've been on a thread with three other women who all took the baby aspirin 75mg the whole month and conceived

@Catconfusion aww I totally understand, I lost my lab when he was almost 16 - he did so well and it was devastating, I'd had him since before I had my children! Glad he's ok for the moment xx

@Keeptrying7 welcome, I've not been to a fertility clinic myself but have spoken to lots of lovely ladies that have and depending on their cycles it's generally 1-3 months after initial consultation

@Marvellouslymadmum you sound so optimistic about it all… can I have some of it plse?!

What tests did they run for u? I haven’t had iron levels checked so maybe I should…

@Marvellouslymadmum did they use aspirin from after their period? I would try anything tbh!!

@Unicorn9 believe me I have my ups and downs about it all lol iron is a really important one so it may be worth getting it checked, I've had Loads and loads of blood tests to check for pretty much everything, progesterone levels, Lh, fsh, oestrogen etc etc internal and external scans, pelvic exam. And yes baby aspirin 75mg for the whole month. It's doesn't work for everyone but it has for some

@Marvellouslymadmum you're right, going to contact GP this week and ask for first set of tests, think it's 21 day bloods? And thanks for tip about iron, I had low levels during pregnancy and had to take ferrous fumarate so could be worth asking GP. My cycles came back when DS was 11 months and have been fairly consistent since then. I also got a BFP in March so don't think it is that. I tried weaning him a few weeks ago which didn't go well so sticking with it for now!

Thank you all for the info on fertility clinics! I am a bit worried about it being a slippery slope and we said we wouldn’t do it initially (as we have secondary infertility so already have one DS), but some months when I get my period I feel so down. So here we are!

I booked my consultation for September, I’m not sure what they’ll recommend we go for because of low sperm count. But interested to see!

Been off the pill now since late March and still feel like my hormones are in a bit of a state of flux - short cycles of about 22-25 days and ovulating day 12-13 with obvious physical signs. Read 'It Starts with an Egg' and I've made big lifestyle changes with diet, exercise, supplements (coenzyme q10, vit d, folic acid and just ordered Angus castus) and mediation mindfulness. Lifestyle choices seem to be making my cycles slightly longer. 1st covid jab (Pfizer)knocked me hard and had a super heavy period after it but I've been fine after the second. It's just so weird because I've seen so many friends go through years of fertility struggles but it's different when it's you. You have the fear of getting pregnant any time you have sex based on sex ed at school, and then in reality it's really hard when you really want it to happen. I wanted to get my jabs and get the pony home from backing and enjoy riding before we conceived but I still have a nagging doubt we left it too late. Off for two weeks now so planning on healthy eating, relaxation and lots of riding.

Well everyone. Went In for my second scan today and no heartbeats. I should have been just over 8 weeks and the sac has started to collapse. Both babies had not grown since last scan.no bleeding yet but going in for medical management on Thursday. Feeling pretty heartbroken 💔 xx

Oh @October1979 I’m so, so, so sorry. You must feel devastated and worn out by it all. I really didn’t think this was going to happen like this. Sending you so much love and hugs. Xxx

@October1979 I’m so sorry. That doesn’t even begin to express how sorry. I hope in some tiny little way you can manage to look after yourself in some way. There isn’t anything we can say to make it ok but it will be ok maybe not now.

Oh @October1979 I'm so sorry 😞 sending lots of virtual hugs

@October1979 I’m so so sorry to hear this. You must feel completely soul destroyed after all you’ve been through. I really hope you can rebuild and recover as much as possible. These things are life changing and I’m not sure we emerge the same but you are strong and one day you will feel ok again. Please don’t give up. I still think there is time for a positive outcome for you. Take care and know we’re all thinking of you. Xx

@October1979

Well everyone. Went In for my second scan today and no heartbeats. I should have been just over 8 weeks and the sac has started to collapse. Both babies had not grown since last scan.no bleeding yet but going in for medical management on Thursday. Feeling pretty heartbroken 💔 xx

Oh that’s so heartbreaking. I’m so sorry to hear that

@October1979 oh am so sorry to hear your news. Take good care of yourself and try to rest x

@October1979 gosh, how absolutely horrible and sad. I am truely devastated for you. What a cruel thing to happen after what you have been through already. I am sure there are no words anyone can say right now that will ease the pain. I hope the medical management goes as smoothly as possible. Sending lots of love x

I'm so sorry @October1979
xxxx

Thank you everyone it's been a tough few weeks. I appreciate all your kind words and support xxx