Trying to conceive over 40

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us girls

Thanks for all you're advice everyone. It was NHS and I couldn't bring anyone in. So just a bit dazed. I think I will look into another scan after a week xx

@October1979 such a shame your partner couldn’t come in. It must have been a lot to take in. For now relax as much as you can. We’re here to chat when/if you need to. Xx

Well I’m feeling a lot better now. Thank you so much everyone for being the voices of reason. I think with my sore mouth, toddler raising hell and this early pregnancy I was feeling very overwhelmed. My evening test was much darker and I’m feeling more chilled. I’m 12 dpo and this is the day it’s gone wrong with the previous ones so I think I’ve been on edge because of that as well. The peril of finding out early is the long wait to miss AF. AF is due on Tuesday so still a way to go but I’m really glad I’ve got further than the three losses this year. I guess we’ll see what happens xx

Oh gosh @October1979 great that there was a strong heartbeat and fingers crossed that the other twin catches up. It’s still at an early stage so agree with others that it might be worth getting another scan privately if you can. Don’t beat yourself up about not asking the questions you’re thinking of now - it was a completely unknown situation and not something you could have prepared for. Really hope that it all works out and that you have a lots to distract yourself with the next week or so.

@Catconfusion definitely still a positive test! Totally understandable to be anxious given you had to have the dental work. hopefully the tests keep going in the right direction!!

Oh @October1979 I know that’s not the news you hoped for but I think “vanishing twins” are relatively common, it’s just most women aren’t having scans as early as we all do, so it’s not detected. If it is a vanishing twin just bear in mind your POAS may not get darker and might even get lighter for a week or two. I really don’t think this is a warning of impending doom.

@October1979 Sorry - worried I sound like I’m minimising the emotions around knowing you have a non-viable twin in there. I’m not meaning to do that if I am. That was a clumsy attempt to be (genuinely) positive about the viable bean. Xx

I know it was @Geriatric1234 I didn't take it any other way. I know you were being kind.My fear is that it's the viable bean that has the irregular sac. Usually irregular sacs result in miscarriage .

@October1979 I’m really hoping in your case there’s an exception. There must be cases where it works out, especially with a strong heartbeat. I have everything crossed for you. Xx

Thanks @99pctpractice I guess I thought if I got another bfp I’d take it easy and do everything I could to help it progress. You know that feeling of, if I get the chance again I’ll do better at self care. Not that there’s much you can do. The tooth extraction was a real spanner in the works.

My dentist did an amazing job and was so kind. Totally safety conscious and took every precaution to protect me and the pregnancy. If anyone else ends up with something similar, very early first trimester and second are good times to get dental work done if it can’t wait. They try and avoid from week 4-12 but even then is considered safe in an emergency. I’m just relieved it’s done. Xx

9 dpo, cd 19 (early ovulater!) and just tested as going to friends tonight and want to know if I can have a glass of wine or two. BFN.

The vibe I’m getting from tests here is that beyond 8dpo I should at least have a squinter if it’s a successful cycle? Or am I being too simplistic? Has anyone had a negative at 9dpo and then a BFP? Only really debating this because I had significant cramping on 5dpo, which is unusual.

Urgh. Hate this mid-point. And if I don’t drink this will immediately tell my friend something is going on (I always drink! 🤣) and I don’t like anyone knowing my private stuff.

Thanks ladies!!

@October1979 it’s just all so frustrating. My friend had a large sac at 12 weeks and they suspected genetic issue but she went in to have successful pregnancy and no genetic issues. Before my MC I had a viability scan booked for 7+2 and it was really cheap - about £40- so if you can I’d deffo have that. Two weeks feels like a lifetime when you don’t know what’s happening. X

How are you feeling today @Catconfusion? Xxx

@October1979 sorry the scan has left so many uncertainties and I hope that you'll still see that lovely heartbeat on your next scan too. I hope you have a busy week/weeks ahead of you to help keep you distracted, and to help the time pass more quickly. X

@Geriatric1234 I got a negative at 9dpo and then a positive at 10dpo with ds. I’ve found it’s usually 9dpo or 10dpo. However this pregnancy was 8dpo. Could you just have one glass of wine? Could you drive or make an excuse about an early start? It’s tough as you’re a day or two from ruling it out. I think if I’d got to 12 dpo and no bfp I’d call it.

@Geriatric1234 I’m good today thanks. My morning test was as dark as the control and I’m feeling pretty sick so all very reassuring. I feel so silly for losing it yesterday. I’ve officially got further than the previous three pregnancies so I’m hoping it’s a good sign. We’ve decided to tell family when I miss AF. I’m already struggling a bit with our toddler as he’s everywhere at the moment so figure we might need some help.

Have a good time with your friend tonight. Remember it’s ok to not drink without an excuse. She shouldn’t be asking why. Xx

@October1979 I was thinking about your case - I think a second opinion about this situation would be quite useful for you and this can be achieved by a private scan or even combining this with an early pregnancy gynaecologist. Why I am saying this - when I was pregnant with my 1st, I did all scans both privately and withNHS. I always felt I needed more information as I wanted to know more while with nhs scan it was “here are legs, here are hands, we’ll see you at 20 weeks scan”. I wanted more thourough scan so went privately all times too.
I was also bleeding up to 10 weeks and NHS was not concerned- says it’s very often. While an early pregnancy gynaecologist (doing scans too) prescribed me progesterone pessaries and told me to continue till the end. NHS told it’s not necessary as they were not concerned about bleeding while private was.
All I want to say, in some situations a second opinion helps a lot so if it helps you to feel safer and less anxious probably it’s worth doing that.

Hi all how is everyone doing?
@Geriatric1234 did you test again?
@October1979 I hope you are ok, do you think you’ll go for a private scan?
@Catconfusion so pleased the tests are still nice and dark. Are you booking in for an early scan?

I’m CD 11 today and off on holiday in a caravan for a week with the family 😆 TTC this month could be interesting!!

Hey @Honey2 have a lovely holiday. I can imagine it’ll be hard to try on close quarters 😂.

All good here thanks. The test lines are getting darker and I’m getting more nauseous. My tummy is huge so it was hard to hide at a family bbq yesterday. I tend to blow up like a balloon in early pregnancy 😂. Yes we will book in for an early scan. I’m 15 dpo today so AF would have come tomorrow. I’m waiting until after that to call the doctor. He did say after three miscarriages we could have an early nhs scan so hopefully I can get it booked. Will aim for 6 plus 3ish. It’s still sinking in that this is happening. Xx

How are you feeling @October1979 ? Xx

Hi everyone thanks for all your thoughts. I have done a lot of reading which suggests 2 weeks for growth between scans is important when there is concerns. I don't want to go to early and end up more anxious, more questions and no further forward. Part of me is thinking that there is nothing I can do except wait and give things time and additional scans may only make me more anxious. Im not bleeding, I'm not in pain. There is nothing that can be fixed. Maybe I should wait this out and hope for the best.

Hi @October1979 that’s a good point. When I went for a second private scan I had continuous spotting. No spotting/bleeding and no pain sounds like a good sign.

@Honey2 Enjoy! no holidays here. Holidays during fertile week are banned for us! :D
CD6 here so not far behind you.

@October1979 I think you may have a good point there. If you’re feeling ok and no bleeding there probably isn’t anything else you can do. I guess an earlier scan might give you some reassurance or it might cause more anxiety. I’ll be thinking of you. Do you have a date for the next scan? Xx

Yes next scan is Friday 6th @Catconfusion

Hi everyone. Wondered if I could dip my toe in the water of joining this thread?

Reading this thread has had me on such a rollercoaster of emotions. I am so sorry for all of you experiencing heartache, and wish the BFP's amongst huge congratulations.

Our TTC journey started 6 years ago when I was 34. In 2019 we finally got our BFP. But it wasn't meant to be and our beautiful little boy was too good for this earth and was born sleeping at 18 weeks. Once we had the all clear from the endless tests and genetic testing that followed, we managed to get pregnant again and this time, our dreams came true and we now have the most mischievous nearly 2 year old in the world.

I will be 41 in September and we are now ttc a sibling for our daughter and I very much feel like I am 'getting on a bit'. Given our track record we do not fall pregnant easily. We started in January and have had no luck so far. I have short cycles (ave 26 days sometimes less) and spot every month for a few days before AF. This month being no exception. CD21 today and the brown spotting has started. Sigh.

Please can I join this thread to offer support and hopefully get some back?