Trying to conceive over 40

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us girls

*trying to chill out

*bottom test from each picture today. This one is a closer look at yesterday and today’s Frer.

@Catconfusion I think at this point you could focus on the fact today you are definitely pregnant. HCG levels generally rise every 48 hours and there is likely to be some fluctuation so try and relax and compare yesterday's to tomorrow's instead.

PS And also remember pregnancy symptoms come and go. My midwife reassured me this is completely normal as I had some days where tiredness/queasy tummy were worse than others.

Thanks @Littlemiss41andfabulous you are definitely the voice of reason. I think I’ve just been so nervous about having the dental work done and paranoid it would affect things. I was drinking a lot of water last night as I’d not been able to drink much after the procedure so I’m wondering if it diluted the sample. I’ve done another Frer after a two hour hold and it’s darker. Also another ic and that’s darker. I know everyone on here understands but it’s so triggering going through the testing stage after so many losses. My DH thinks I’m a crazy person I swear 😂. For now I’m feeling a bit better. Xx

@catconfusion perhaps consider stopping testing because you can't change the outcome and it's really stressful which won't help xx

@Mattieandmummy I appreciate what you’re saying but I’d be worse if I didn’t test. The mcs have made me just rather know if it’s going wrong as soon as possible. I’m also on progesterone so need to stop if something goes wrong so I can get AF Xx

@Catconfusion I agree with @Littlemiss41andfabulous - you are pregnant right now.

Also - you should just take a picture after the allocated wait time and then bin the physical test. Those lines change so it might look darker than it actually was in the window of time when it was technically correct. Here’s a better explanation:

“All visual pregnancy tests have a ‘window’ of time in which the result must be read,” explains Dr Clancy. So it’s important that you read the instructions carefully and only use the results that show in the set time.

For example, you need to wait 3 minutes before reading the result of the Clearblue Early Detection Test but no longer than 10 minutes after doing the test. “I’d suggest disregarding any changes in the result after 10 minutes,” adds Dr Clancy.”

So yesterday’s line may appear darker than today’s purely because it’s old. Make sense? Xx

@birdbybird I’ll have to test tomorrow (9dpo) as I’m off to a friend’s for the night and if it’s a bfn I’ll be wanting a wine! 😀

They could see a heartbeat which is positive but the sac is abnormal slightly - large size/ shape this isn’t too good. They can see a second baby with no heartbeat meqsuring smaller. This could be that it started off as a twin and might be viable as a singe and might account for the shape/size of the sac. So need to go back in 2 weeks - but felt that potentially this could be bad news. So still a waiting game for me. One measuring 6 weeks 4 strong HB. Other 6 week 2. No visible HB. Feel in limbo xx

@Geriatric1234 I understand what you’re saying and that the previous days tests are dry are might look different but it still shows progression overall. I’ve had a chemical pregnancy in four cycles now and each time the lines have got lighter and disappeared. I’ve then been able to stop the progesterone so my next cycle doesn’t get messed up. So it’s important for me to know what’s going on. I know some people might deal with it differently and wait it out which is totally understandable. The testing makes me anxious but not testing would make me a nervous wreck. Xx

@Catconfusion I’m sorry this is a nervous time for you.

@October1979 feeling in limbo is not great. I’m sorry. I remember being told to come back in 2 weeks and I couldn’t wait that long so went for a private scan.

@October1979 I’m so sorry to hear it was twins and one is no longer ok. How horrible to be in limbo like this. Im so pleased you saw a strong heartbeat though. All you can do is stay as positive as you can and hope all will be well next time. I know it’s easier said than done. Xx

Thank you @birdbybird I was feeling ok before today and then had a massive wobble. I guess it’s a waiting game. Xx

@catconfusion oh yes I'd forgotten about the progesterone, I'm sorry

@october1979 don't give up, you still have one and that's a wonderful thing

Also thanks everyone for the messages earlier in the week, I got my AF this morning which means I just had a 28 day cycle - that's the first since my daughter was conceived. Although the bloody adenomyosis may make this whole effort totally pointless. I've booked an appointment with a fertility consultant who specialises in adenomyosis so we'll see what she says. I don't know if I can face ivf but if the adenomyosis stops the swimmers getting up my tubes and stops implantation I'm really wondering whether it's basically impossible to have another either way. Plus I'm actually terrified of giving birth again and another intensive care stay. I feel like I just lost the last six months to miscarriage and post weaning depression and severe anxiety, it's taken such a toll on me, DH and DD. Really beginning to wonder if we should look at adoption....

It’s ok @Mattieandmummy it’s completely logical just to wait it out and not test every day. I think I only did one test with first ever pregnancy. Oh how naive I was.

I’m so sorry your journey is so complicated. I really hope the specialist can help. It must be so difficult to have hope after all you’ve been through but I believe you will complete your family and move forwards from this difficult time. Xx

@Catconfusion it's ok to have a wobble every now and again, we're here to help you get through it  Also I hardly have any pregnancy symptoms, and the slight ones I did have have gone now, and I only seem to be tired and have sore boobs every now and again 🤷🏻‍♀️. I think my symptoms were more pronounced last year with the MMC.

@October1979 a strong heartbeat at 6weeks? I'm so happy for you! Could it be possible twin two could catch up? It's a horrible place to be, in limbo, but again, we're here to help you get through it

Thanks everyone but she didn't seem to be giving anything away. I got the impression the abnormal size of the sac was a concern and think this was with the strong twin. I think her concern is I lose both unless the sac is changing due to twin 2. I just froze and didn't ask all the questions I should of xx

@sabtom thank you. I hope the lack of symptoms continues. I’ve just had a nap and woke up nearly vomiting. I was very ill throughout my pregnancy with ds and even my mmc and other losses. I’m very sensitive to the hormones so it’s a bit jarring to not feel ill. I think it was the pain from the dental work distracting me as I now feel pretty sick again. xx

@October1979 I think I’d go for a private appointment either soon if you feel you can’t wait or in about a week. Two weeks is a long time to wait at the moment to minimise stress and heartache. Are the twins in separate sacs? Hopefully next time the sac will have stabilised. Xx

@Catconfusion am going to try and wait to see if enough change happens. I will do a bit of research but pretty sure this doesn't end well. To be honest I think the sac that has the twin with HB shape is irregular. And larger than expected. I'm very confused over what I was told now xx

@October1979 was this NHS scan or private? Usually the private ones do a very thorough scan with tiny details. I would suggest to do a private one if it wasn’t today. It’s not worth waiting 2 weeks and being stressed and nervous.

@birdbybird yes I tested today. One day past AF which doesn’t sound a lot but I’m usually like clockwork and a rare night out planned so wanted to know if I could drink or not… bfn so back to it again next month!

@October1979 see how you get on. It might be a private scan can give you more insight into what’s going on. It doesn’t sound like the sonographer gave you much insight. Hopefully you’ll be one of the ones with a good outcome. Xx

@Mum2baby07 I’m really sorry to hear this! Xx