TTC 35+ Thread 9

[M4v3r1ck]

New thread ladies!!! 😍😍😍

I can't see any of the old messages to properly comment and tag people - aaargh!!

But here's to lots of healthy, happy, sticky BFPs in this thread!!! 😘😘😘🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

@Misty84 I know right, we did it 8 times this month and it was really bloody hard!

@got2be @thislittlebird @Noodella18 @Marvellouslymadmum

It's just very stressful. A few close friends had their share of struggles and it seems so easy to be sucked into their experiences (miscarriages / tfmr etc). I also suspect I had a chemical pregnancy a while ago.

I feel alone in this journey. My DH was not able to participate actively in the consultation - he seems pretty clueless which made me feel worse. In fact I didn't think I ovulated this cycle at all as I was so stressed out.

My doc was somewhat exasperated at the start of the initial consultation when he found out we were only trying for four months and wasn't really keen on continuing the consultation (or so I felt).

I fear that time is not on my side. With ivf there's pgta that will apparently reduce the risk of miscarriage. I understand the toll of ivf - I may not fully appreciate the stress of injecting yourself high dosages of hormones daily but each day I wake up not pregnant i feel like crying (and I did).

And I whine. Sorry. I just really need a place to vent. Onward and upward next !

@AnxiousWannabe - i'm in the same boat as you, 39 and ttc #1. first month trying so just starting out on this rollercoaster and already finding it a tad stressful. i think im 5DPO if the apps are correct. didn't have any LH surge but thinking i may have tested a bit late (hopefully).

@TTCat39 & @VixFromThe6ix - Congratulations! Really good news :)

Hi all, I’d like to join the group. 41 and TTC baby #1 for 14months now. Currently curled up in bed with a hot water bottle after a horrific HSG - I’ve never felt excruciating pain like it. I know it had to be done and the results were positive but I can’t believe the lengths us ladies have to go to...DP didn’t know how to react this morning when he saw me stood crying in a snotty mess outside the hospital when he came to collect me #unfair

@Missmcmonkeymcbean
Lol - I have multiple lh surges which seems to suggest no ovulation. I'm 2 days late af, chunks of gooey cervical mucus discharge. I just wish I get my af now and kickstart another fresh cycle !

@TTCat39 oh my goodness congratulations! Stop googling and just enjoy it!

@AnxiousWannabe as a 39 year old who has been trying for 15-18 months I would say you definitely shouldn't be considering ivf at this stage. As *@TTCat39 has just demonstrated, you can absolutely get pregnant naturally at 39! And there are plenty of others on this thread and elsewhere on mumsnet who have got pregnant naturally in their 40s. I myself am heading for ivf now and am absolutely shtting myself about all the injections and procedures I'm in line for. I would be wanting to explore all other options first before putting myself through this. 80% of women get pregnant within a year, hopefully you'll be one of them! 🤞

@Eiremogra I'm sorry to hear that. I heard HSG is 90 seconds of complete hell. Do take comfort in that it increases the chance of pregnancy and your results are good...take care and hope you feel better soon

@AnxiousWannabe thank you so much. You’re right..I do take comfort in the positive result. It’s a relief and I know the pain was worth it. Just waiting on my AMH results ... fingers crossed xxx

@anxiouswannabe I mean this kindly, so please don't be offended, but have you sought help for your anxiety? From the little you've written, it does feel like you are maybe not seeing things straight. As a pair of fresh eyes on your situation:

1. You think you might have had a chemical, which suggests that you are capable of getting pregnant

2. You've had a fertility screening which suggests there are no issues

3. You have LH surges (my understanding is that, contrary to what you say, multiple LH surges do still indicate ovulation)

I do really understand how anxiety-inducing ttc can be, but it feels like yours is disproportionate to your situation and it may make sense to tackle that before committing to something as stressful as IVF.

Re this month, if your period is late have you tried a pregnancy test?

@Eiremogra hi, yes the things we do lol, i had a HSG 3 weeks ago while i thought the procedure itself was ok had no painkillers, the pain after when at home was actually unbearable think i cleaned out my medicine cabinet lol, (like severe tapped wind) sorry TMI
tubes were clear so hopefully its done some good.
i did find that i OV later normally day13/15 but OV around day 22/23, did not have my usual OV pain and I'm now late.
so not sure what its done to cycle, but here's hoping we get a HSG BFP x

@Noodella18
I am not offended at all. I don't know where to seek help. I tried talking to friends who are equally depressed lol.

I find binge watching Netflix helps. For a short period I manage to not think. But that's about it. I just told DH off about how lonely I felt. I may sound like a Karen ..sorry if I do.

DH and I had difficulties in DTD initially which kinda explained why we keep putting it off till now. That bit is resolved now. I guess I have huge regret in not trying earlier ..coulda woulda shoulda. This is not sth I could easily tell anyone except to internet strangers lol

Pregnancy test ? I did - bfn. So I feel I'm a mess you see - my body is like this polluted factory that spits out gooey cm and refuse to manufacture af properly lol

@TTCat39 Amazing news! Congratulations!

Any tips greatly appreciated as always- I'm thinking of booking an exotic holiday for 12 months from now, something we'd have to cancel if I'm pregnant by then...

@AnxiousWannabe Definitely relate to the anxiety. We were 'seeing what happens' for a good year or two and feeling quite relaxed, but as soon as I started being more 'proactive' I've found a whole load of issues to worry about that I was blissfully unaware of before- as in things that might happen to me because they've happened to someone else.

I've also been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and been on sertraline for it in the past, and in recent weeks I have felt like it's all being triggered again by ttc. We have to remember that if there are no underlying issues we still have a good chance of conceiving without IVF at our age, so I agree with others that it's good this doctor is encouraging you to explore other options first.

@AnxiousWannabe, your GP can refer you to get help with anxiety. with TTC you will eventually get to know your body better and as your CM is probably normal for were you are in your cycle. useful i know however i find using OKPS checking CM and charting adds to the stress, could you try DTD every other day thought the month, or at least 3 times a week and hopefully catch that way?

@AnxiousWannabe perhaps the doctor could help put you in touch with some talking therapy? Or you could try meditation, exercise etc?

Re the pregnancy test, what brand was it? It could just not be showing up yet, if it's not very sensitive.

@got2be yes I hear you re: the medicine cabinet! I felt the same sensation like trapped wind but also the worst pressure..honestly thought I was going to pass out. Like you I usually OV day 15/16 so will be interesting to see what happens this month. Oh I really hope you get your HSG BFP!!

@AnxiousWannabe I’ve just enrolled on a 6 week mindfulness course, first session is next week. I’ve never tried anything like it before but thought it worth a shot as, like a lot of us, TTC can so easily take over my lives and I need to find some separation from it - I can let you know what I think of the sessions if you’d like?x

Hi @LabradorMama I wouldn't be too worried yet? You never know how quick it will happen for you! Not sure about making the pineapple into a smoothie as you're supposed to eat it on an empty stomach 🤔

@Noodella18 we were told sex every other day by the doc too - it doesn't happen 😂 (note to self - eat lots of choc to get pg) 🙊

@AnxiousWannabe you'll find a lot of support here and a lot if us with clueless oh's it's actually easier that way most of the time! Here is a good place to vent too. I also have multiple Lh surges and do ovulate most months eventually. I would speak to your gp about your anxiety, my oh suffers with health anxiety and they're trying to help him

@Eiremogra hi, sorry you're in pain but I've heard a lot of positive stories after having hycosy/hsg so 🤞🏻 for you

@Eiremogra pain lasted 24h so hopefully you won't be in pain for much longer and can get back to TTC good luck x

@got2be thanks so much...it’s definitely easing off a little bit now x

Thanks all!
@KatRee @got2be
I'm super stubborn - so I think my anxiety needs to be resolved within. I need to find a way to channel my frustrations and stress. I find going out to walk helps a great deal except that I struggle to find the motivation at times.

Due to our history of DTD it's not something DH and I vigorously engage in lol - and I'm ocd (if you can't tell already )...so I still try to predict my opk. I know it has gone haywire this cycle because my bbt didn't rise and I got the evil smiley every two days from cd12 to cd24. Lol.

@Noodella18
Thank you!
I am gonna try exercise. Pregnancy kit? I tried both frer and cheapie. I got like a TTC cabinet of stuff I got.

@Eiremogra is the mindfulness course general or targeted at TTC stress ? I was so desperate and the only relevant one I could find is the Zita west meditation audio which didn't quite work for me. Would love to hear more about your thoughts! I know I need help..any help is goodddd

@Marvellouslymadmum
Our gp has a long waiting list and previously we were using Babylon which assigned us a diff gp each time ugh.
Could I ask how do you know you ovulated ? My bbt was like a dead flatline throughout I think that I just gave up temping.

A few months ago I tested on cheapie and clearblue when I was a week late. It never showed on cheapie but cb picked up a bfp. But i got a heavy period three days later.

With my af being late now I'm afraid history repeating itself. Each month I have the fear of the cp repeating - which is why I was like..probably ivf is a better route. I mean - I know cp is extremely normal and I'm better prepared for it this time around. Just that ...I wanna be pregger. I want to hug my baby. I wanna hug my baby all day long. I wanna be a mother

Huge congrats @TTCat39 !!! That's such great news. Everything crossed for a happy and healthy nine months xxx

Ooh just catching up! Congrats @VixFromThe6ix and @TTCat39 ! Lovely news! 🤞🤞 for you xx

@Yumcoffee I may be having a chemical... Gonna give it a couple days more to see if it gets darker...

@AnxiousWannabe I’ll definitely let you know how the sessions go..I just registered this week and the course starts next week. It’s specifically geared towards the anxieties/stress/preoccupation with TTC x

@VixFromThe6ix mine took 3 days to get darker xx