TTC Self Insemination

[suzy124]

Hi all,

I just wondered if anyone else out there is TTC by self insemination? My partner has delayed ejaculation so it means we don't have a chance just by bd. I know there's previous threads on this topic from years ago (which have given me hope), but just feel incredibly lonely knowing we are doing things this way. My doctor didn't seem concerned at all, but I feel like it won't work.

Been TTC for 6 months, but half of those cycles I don't think I was timing it right (arrrgh!!), so really I'm on about cycle 3 where I've been using OPKS. I know people say not to use them but my ovulation date is anywhere between CD11 and CD16 so they help me a lot. I was using just the softcup method but switched to syringes when I started the OPKs, i feel like it mimics intercourse more??

Is anyone else in the same boat? I'm currently 9 or 10dpo and feeling like it hasn't worked again

It's less expensive than travelling 200 miles and staying in a hotel overnight in London to inseminate with donor sperm (which is what I'm doing) or paying a sperm bank up to £1000 per vial of sperm (for one attempt) which is why I'm doing the former.

@suzy124 thanks, here's hoping that something may still happen but I think my temps are also starting to drop so I think my body is preparing for AF...
Good luck for the start of the next SI, fingers crossed for this cycle!

@bitheby sorry to hear about the adoption conclusion. Fingers crossed for positive results with the IVF route!

I haven't made a decision on adoption yet. Have only been to one intro meeting with other interested adopters and requested an informal chat with a social worker today. Will see what they say and then make a decision about what's the right path.

@bitheby it must be so hard having to do all those extra steps. Don’t give up hope, I’ll be thinking of you.

@Missmcmonkeymcbean I find the uncertainty of the TWW unbearable, and normally do about 10 frer so I manage my expectations iyswim. Then when I do come on after seeing single line after single line it’s not such a horrible surprise.

Currently CD 12 and hoping for a repeat of last night’s ‘jizz in a jar’ as I should ovulate tomorrow. If not then at least we’ve managed twice this week and he can try Friday too.

Then its looking more and more likely that I’ll be planning a wedding to happen in six weeks so hopefully I’ll be distracted for the tww.

AF came today. GP is messing me around with recurrent miscarriage blood test results.

I'm exhausted, can't be bothered to get lunch, life isn't fair.

@bitheby I’m sorry, it’s really shit.

There’s nothing anyone can say either.

@bitheby I'm so sorry. You're going to such lengths too each month I cant imagine how hard that is. I also hate my job and feel like a child is the only thing that will give me fulfilment. Hope your meeting with the social worker goes well, keep us posted 💙

@bollocksthemess great to hear he's been producing the goods this week, I'm sure it's unloading a ton of stress for you. And a wedding in 6 weeks is sure to keep your mind off things. Will you be able to do everything 'properly' or are there still restrictions with guests numbers etc?

Thanks everyone. Sorry I can't really be supportive to anyone else at the moment. I'm completely over capacity with stress and spending a second day of my annual leave in bed crying and over posting on Mumsnet. Only managed a sandwich all day yesterday. Need to at least try to eat and drink properly today.

@bitheby I understand. I've spent many a day in bed crying with the jealousy and longing and unfairness of it all. If that's what you need to do then don't feel guilty. But yeah I would encourage you to stay fed and hydrated, even though we don't think it's possible to feel worse it really does get worse if we don't do basic care. I struggle massively with depression so know this all too well. It's so tough but try and distract yourself, have a netflix marathon, go for a walk, phone friends or family. Your mind needs a break from thinking about it, even if it's only for a few minutes at a time

@bitheby I hope you can get through this crap bit and onto your FW so you can try again.
Now feel free to tell me to fuck off, but would it be worth trying a different donor? I only ask as a friend of mine spent about £100K getting/staying pregnant as her body was rejecting her husband’s dna. Now that’s probably massively simplifying it, but basically she had early miscarriages/CP or just nothing month after month, did IVF and the same. She ended up going to a specialist in London who had her on immuno-suppressants and massive doses of hormones to keep her pregnant.

She was told that if she had a different husband she would probably have been able to get/stay pregnant, and he already had three kids, but the combination of the two of them wasn’t viable without a lot of intervention.

Again, it might be a stupid suggestion and if it is I hope it’s not upset you.

@suzy124 DP continues to produce the goods. CD12 yesterday and he managed again, got my LH rise today bang on time. He’s going to try again later, I’m actually a bit hopeful this time as we’ve never managed this many times and at the right times.

The wedding will be a lovely distraction, everyone thinks we’re having a fast wedding because I’m pregnant ironically. I keep telling them I’m absolutely not!
Nobody knows we’re even trying as I don’t want to have any pressure on us. I think you’re on a similar cycle to me, hope this FW goes well for you!

I've been looking around but they can be hard to find. So many perverts and weirdos out there and I want good DNA and someone I can trust to not interfere or exert their parental rights. Someone closer would make my life so much easier. It could be my age and my egg quality hence having the tests done to see whether it's me. There's a massive shortage of sperm with sperm banks due to Covid.

@bollocksthemess amazing, every reason to be hopeful! The only person I have told is my sister as I was losing the plot keeping all the stress inside. Glad I did and hasn't added any pressure. I'm CD11 and not even a flashing smiley yet so will wait until tomorrow to get started. DP is back from his work trip tonight so relieved I'm not ovulating early to give us a good few goes

@bitheby sorry if my last post sounded patronising, I know nothing can help, just want you to look after yourself. You will get through this

Not at all.

@suzy124 I’ve told my hairdresser and one friend who is sworn to secrecy!

I would love this to be the time it works, I think it every time but we’ve literally never managed to SI 3 times in the FW and it’s looking promising for tonight too. I’ve had ovulation cramps this afternoon so if he manages tonight as well as yesterday we’ve hopefully got a sperm to meet an egg finally!

Psychosexual counselling is available on the NHS. I don't suppose it's easy to get but it definitely exists.

@bollocksthemess We've tried SMEP, every day, every other day and still not a hint of pregnancy. I get so hopeful at the end of every 2ww and feeling sick of it. Some days I have this cba with it all anymore attitude but I know deep down I care so much. Hope this our lucky month

Just thought I’d tell you all my story, which will hopefully give you all a bit of hope.

I reached the big 40, widowed and childless, my DH had never wanted children. A gay friend and I decided to TTC, after many months of talking about it, thinking about it and researching it. In the end we went for it.

I fell pregnant on the 2nd cycle.

I started taking ubiquinol when we were still in the “could we make this work” discussion so I was on it for about 6 months prior to starting to TTC. During this time I also started tracking my cycle and making sure I was sort of aware of my timings.

I’m not sure how I can describe it without sounding crude, but he would come over and have a play downstairs, depositing his load into a lilycup. I used the smaller size compact one so it was more comfortable for me. Whilst he was downstairs, I was upstairs also having a play to orgasm.

When he was done, he would bring the cup upstairs and popped it by my bedroom door. He usually finished before me so once I was done I retrieved it and inserted the cup. I orgasmed again (if I could) and I then lent over the side of the bed backwards, and rested my legs up as high as I could on pillows and blankets so that the sperm could slide down. I stayed there for as long as it was comfortable, left the cup in a bit longer and then we tried again two days later

As I say we were lucky on our 2nd cycle and I now have a 13mnth old DD who is the spiting image of her dad (and has him wrapped around her little finger)

Hope that doesn’t appear as boasting, just wanted to give you all some positives. I’m happy to answer any questions, keep at it!

@bitheby I feel like I’ve been giving him psychosexual counselling the entire relationship! He’s had this problem ever since he first started masturbating. Before we were TTC he’d improved massively, and would come 50% of the time during sex. When we first got together he told me that he would probably never come during sex which was fine by me as the sex itself was good. TTC has sort of ruined all the progress.

@AngelDelightUk I’m glad it worked out for you! I know it can work, however up until this month DP was unreliable at producing the goods. It’s only taken 11 months for him to get his head round it!

@suzy124 I feel like if we can nail the SMEP for at least a few months, if nothing happens then we can go and get fertility treatment knowing that we’ve genuinely tried! I do feel a little frustrated that it’s taken 11 months and the threat of a needle to the balls to get to this point but never mind, DP has many other qualities!

@bitheby I'm so sorry to hear about AF. It must be a pain to travel each time and pin so much hope on it. It sucks that your doctor can't sort out the tests too making it additionally stressful :(

@bollocksthemess good news on the wedding, a perfect distraction! Good luck too for this cycle. Fingers crossed.

@suzy124 I'm totally with you with the getting hopeful and then crushing AF. I spend way too much time googling and analysing charts. It's just so demoralising and having to pick yourself up again on CD1 to start it all again. Going to research the ubiquinol for added help!
We can't give up!! :)

So we’ve booked the wedding, it’s in five weeks! I have done literally nothing. We have no rings, no dress. Turns out my sister has booked a holiday on the date.

But at least the next five weeks aren’t going to be all about TTC. And that will be really nice.

@AngelDelightUk

Just thought I’d tell you all my story, which will hopefully give you all a bit of hope.

I reached the big 40, widowed and childless, my DH had never wanted children. A gay friend and I decided to TTC, after many months of talking about it, thinking about it and researching it. In the end we went for it.

I fell pregnant on the 2nd cycle.

I started taking ubiquinol when we were still in the “could we make this work” discussion so I was on it for about 6 months prior to starting to TTC. During this time I also started tracking my cycle and making sure I was sort of aware of my timings.

I’m not sure how I can describe it without sounding crude, but he would come over and have a play downstairs, depositing his load into a lilycup. I used the smaller size compact one so it was more comfortable for me. Whilst he was downstairs, I was upstairs also having a play to orgasm.

When he was done, he would bring the cup upstairs and popped it by my bedroom door. He usually finished before me so once I was done I retrieved it and inserted the cup. I orgasmed again (if I could) and I then lent over the side of the bed backwards, and rested my legs up as high as I could on pillows and blankets so that the sperm could slide down. I stayed there for as long as it was comfortable, left the cup in a bit longer and then we tried again two days later

As I say we were lucky on our 2nd cycle and I now have a 13mnth old DD who is the spiting image of her dad (and has him wrapped around her little finger)

Hope that doesn’t appear as boasting, just wanted to give you all some positives. I’m happy to answer any questions, keep at it!

Congratulations but you were lucky.

I've had about 15 goes and had an early loss and a chemical. I think we all know the technique. It's just a case of it working.

@bitheby I know right?

It’s not technically challenging putting sperm in yourself on the right days but it seems to be next to impossible to make it from there to the actual baby. All the statistics are quite discouraging.

Oh well, into the TWW. Again.

@suzy124 you must be into your TWW now?

I just wish I had a local friend that I would be happy to coparent with for the rest of my life who I liked enough to create a person with.

I've been lucky enough to find two professional, well educated donors but neither have been local. There is a huge amount of drossy blokes out there looking for a quick shag or to satisfy their impregnating fetish.

Better yet, I wish I'd found a partner and not the succession of users and misfits that didn't want/ couldn't have kids.

But sliding half off the bed might've done it. If only I knew.

Hope everyone had a nice long weekend, at least the weather was good huh?

Not in the TWW yet, got my peak today so won't be long. We'll SI tonight and maybe tomorrow then done for the month. Was feeling pretty chilled about things until I saw the neighbours with their baby today and then my mood went to shit.

@AngelDelightUk I appreciate hearing your story and every time I read about success with SI it gives me a little hope so thank you. It's just so incredibly hard when we're all doing the necessary steps but having no results.

@Missmcmonkeymcbean Nope, giving up simply not an option, just gotta hope that one day all this pain will be so worth it! I take it you're on a new cycle too? I think I've actually got the googling/analysing under control now, I was driving myself mad so if you can break the habit it does really help. It took me starting antidepressants as well though so definitely not easy

@bollocksthemess holy crap that'll def keep your mind occupied these next few weeks. Enjoy the distraction! Any ideas on a colour scheme yet? Shame about your sister being away but hopefully all the other guests can make it.
Did last week end on a high for you?

@Meg5500 How are you doing? You must be preparing to start SI soon?

@bitheby hope you're ok. Will you be making the trips to SI this month?

Hi guys! Thought I'd share my positive story for you all :)
My DP also has delayed ejaculation and really struggles to do so from sex alone but when we wasn't "trying" by a miracle I successfully fell pregnant through natural intercourse back in October last year (just having sex once that month) sadly I miscarried at 11 weeks.
We then decided to try SI to take the pressure off him as now we both really wanted a baby, but he hated the idea of how clinical it seemed and that I had to tell him when to do it (stubborn!) so thought we missed the fertile window in April and was gutted, had sex the following weekend, he produced on his stomach and I thought just for fun (and a bit of hope) I'll syringe it straight from his belly, laid with my legs up for about 20 mins and left the syringe inside of me for about 5 and boom! I fell pregnant :D so this does really work, don't give up! Xx