TTC Self Insemination

[suzy124]

Hi all,

I just wondered if anyone else out there is TTC by self insemination? My partner has delayed ejaculation so it means we don't have a chance just by bd. I know there's previous threads on this topic from years ago (which have given me hope), but just feel incredibly lonely knowing we are doing things this way. My doctor didn't seem concerned at all, but I feel like it won't work.

Been TTC for 6 months, but half of those cycles I don't think I was timing it right (arrrgh!!), so really I'm on about cycle 3 where I've been using OPKS. I know people say not to use them but my ovulation date is anywhere between CD11 and CD16 so they help me a lot. I was using just the softcup method but switched to syringes when I started the OPKs, i feel like it mimics intercourse more??

Is anyone else in the same boat? I'm currently 9 or 10dpo and feeling like it hasn't worked again

Hi. I think I'm about 5 or 6 dpo. My cycles seem to have shortened but I'm still ovulating around the same cycle day so I don't know what that means other than I don't really get a TWW. As soon as I'm about in the testing window, my period comes.

I'm going to a virtual information evening about adoption this evening. Bit nervous. I couldn't start the process until I'd definitely given up TTC and I'm not there yet so it's just for information purposes at this stage.

Hi everyone,

It was so heartbreaking to hear all your stories and everything you are going through.

Because of a mixture of delayed ejaculation which led to me developing vaginismus me and my husband don't have the most normal sex life going! for years and years we put off having kids until we could do it the old fashioned way but a dear friend of mine got the bad news that she was going through an early menopause and that woke me up to it.

We got a kit off amazon with cups to catch the sperm and then syringes to insert the sperm. I bought some clear blue ovulation sticks and some pre seed. Month 1 we managed to try once in the window (the first time we felt there were too many bubbles in the sperm in the syringe to insert it - we were just afraid because we were doing this all without medical advice!)

Month 2 we managed to try twice in the window. Both times I was convinced there was too little sperm in the syringe etc.

Well - it only went and bloody worked! The day we took the test and it came out positive we were both so shocked. In my head we were just going to have to do it for a year so we could go to the drs and say we had been trying for a year and get all the tests. We were both 35.

I was so surprised and to be honest it didnt seem real. I took a pregnancy test every day for 10 days after the positive one. Going to my 12 week scan I was convinced there would be nothing there!

I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant - everything is progressing well. And no one knows how we did it - I'm just a normal pregnant person to everyone.

In terms of how we did it. That first time I dont think I put the syringe in far enough - the second and third time (who knows which one worked!) I put the syringe in the whole way before pushing it. I did have an orgasm then (possibly the least sexy orgasm of all time!) and kept my legs up for 30 mins. I had used the pre seed lube too - but honestly just because i need lube for the syringe. No other science to it than that - lets be real people get pregnant all the time by just having a bit of sperm pushed up there. Why is this way any different? And yet we tie ourselves in knots over it!

I hope my story helps you all - in my head it wasn't going to work but I just wanted to be able to say we're tried in my window for x number of months. But it did work - sometimes I am still amazed by that.

Sending all of you all my love!!!xoxoxoxoxo

Hi @suzy124 and everyone else.

So we investigated our options re fertility treatment, SA etc.

I’m getting my bloods done on the second day of my next cycle. I’m on my period at the minute but didn’t get organised in time for this cycle.

Unfortunately for DP, his options for SA given that he can’t do it on command reliably (and it’s basically a no go under pressure) are a bit grim.

Our options are basically surgical extraction of sperm with a big needle under local anaesthetic at the cost of about £2K plus £500 ish for analysing it and freezing it, plus the cost of actually putting it in me never mind if we go the IVF route.

I don’t fancy putting DP through that really if we can avoid it, so we’re going to try 3 more cycles of doing it the way we’re doing, trying to get more out of him over more days, plus get my bloods checked as that’s cheap and easy.

The prospect of a giant needle to the balls may or may not provide extra motivation for DP, we’ll have to see.

Funnily enough, my one normal week a month is when I come on. After that I’m weeing on sticks, wondering if DP is going to actually make some sperm leave his body, and then either trying not to resent him if he doesn’t or spending the next two weeks wondering if this time is the time it actually works.

Anyway, I hate everything about it and it’s making me into a completely different person. Nobody knows we’re trying apart from my hairdresser funnily enough, so it’s nice to be able to talk about it.

@bitheby oh my gosh, good luck tonight! I hope it's really informative and helps you feel more relaxed about the whole process. Adoption is such an amazing thing to do but I'm of course hoping that this your month. Also weird about your cycles suddenly getting shorter, has anything changed that might have caused it, supplements etc?

@Cathie102 thank you for sharing your success story, every new one I read gives me a little more hope that the method will eventually work. What kind of syringe did you use? When you say you put it in the whole way I take it you mean just up to the handle bits? I do get myself in knots over the method but I'm convinced there's some secret formula 😂 Wishing you a very h&h 9 months

@bollocksthemess good to hear you're back on it this month and have a plan. I had to laugh at 'the prospect of a giant needle to the balls', if that's not motivation I don't know what is! Can't believe how expensive it is just to extract the sperm, especially hearing it's just local anaesthetic. Would you then try IUI with it before going down the IVF route? Really hope it doesn't go that far and you have success in these next 3 months. Keeping everything crossed.

Honestly when my period comes I am a mess so it's the worst week for me. Can't handle the devastation. I actually don't mind the weeing on sticks, opks that is as it makes me feel more in control. For you I understand that the FW has so much extra stress so I guess it's kind of a relief when it's over. It's CD2 for me and had my first bloods today, next one day 22ish depends on when I ovulate. Really so nervous about the SA even though don't have a date for it yet... but it's good to actually be doing something about it. I completely understand hating everything about this, I do too. I cry all the time, can't think of anything else and just want it to be a distant memory already

xx

Hi @suzy124 oh I’m sorry this wasn’t your month! It’s the worst! I know what you mean about only feeling ok for 1 week of the month now, I’m the same. The different waves of emotion are like clockwork now.

My other best friend just had a baby this week too, she got pregnant trying once the normal way and it’s stings so much everything I think of it even though I’m so happy for her!

I’m waiting to come on. Due on Monday and I’m getting all the usual period symptoms so I know it hasn’t worked.

@Cathie102 thank you so much for having your story!! This really does make me more hopeful! It’s just great to know or can work! What size syringe did you use??

@Meg5500 yeah it's like life now revolves around a continuous cycle of 30ish days except each one feels like a year. Just when you think 'ok I can manage AF coming this time' nothing can prepare you for the emotions. It's like grieving every month for the a you thought you had conceived.

Keeping everything crossed for you, you're not out yet! Did the clomid help you ovulate earlier this month? I understand that stinging feeling so well, have had to listen to my neighbour's 1mo cry in the garden all of today and it's driving me insane. And to think that some only have to do it once is just agonising.

Oh well, our time will come 💙

xx

@Cathie102 thanks so much for your story, it really helps. Managed to SI four times this month and then read an article saying that SI isn't as effective as natural DTD and I still don't really understand why, surely both methods just put sperm into the place they're meant to be, does it matter how they got there...?? Your story has given me hope again 😀

@suzy124 I'm sorry to hear that. I'm currently 4dpo and must admit I'm not holding out much hope for this month. Dtd lots this month but I don't think I'm inserting the syringe far enough and only just noticed people talking about bubbles in the syringe, is that a thing to avoid?? What happens if there are bubbles? So much to learn...

@suzy124 Yes - just up to the handle - or as close as I could get.
I think this was the kit I got www.amazon.co.uk/Super-Deluxe-Fertility-Kit/dp/B00DECVL68/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&crid=ED4XV4JTIOG2&keywords=self+insemination+kit&sprefix=self+insemin%2Caps%2C169&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1621504003&sr=8-2
Hope it helps!

@suzy124 oh I feel you love! Our time will come, it’s just such a journey isn’t it?!

Yes the clomid actually made me ovulate at day 17 and it made me release two eggs which makes me even more disheartened as to it not working because I literally had double the chance this month and it didn’t work! 😭

@Missmcmonkeymcbean I always feel that way too after ovulation but it's early days, you just never know. I'll keep everything crossed for you! Re the bubbles I've never come across a discussion on that before, I don't think it's important it just means you end up putting some air up there too. If you are sucking the sperm up from a cup it will be impossible to completely avoid bubbles, but I guess you can then minimize them by holding the syringe upwards so the sperm falls down to the plunger and then slowly expelling the air? The first time we did it like this all I was sucking up was air, OH now does his bit straight into syringe to avoid this step. Also I don't think there's much actual difference between sex and syringing, my doctor wasn't concerned at all and lots of couples choose this method over intercourse to take the pressure off. I just remind myself of that when I start freaking out about the chances

@Cathie102 thank you for that, looks like 10ml syringes which is what I'm using 👍

@Meg5500 Interesting - how do you know you released two eggs? Also I know it's hard when you just know AF is coming but you're not out til she shows

xx

@Missmcmonkeymcbean I read an article that said the chances are exactly the same as the natural way and one of my best friends dads is actually a fertility specialist and he recommends this to couples all the time!

@suzy124 so I have been having scans just before ovulation and this month they saw two very large dominant follicles which shows that it’s highly likely two eggs would be released. Which is what clomid is supposed to do! They made such positive noises and they were like ‘well hopefully you will get pregnant this month and you won’t be back!’ Feel like I’ll be letting them down when I call and say I’m not pregnant! 😞

@Meg5500 wow that's good of them, is this through the NHS? Will you get scans every month you're on clomid? Also don't despair just yet, I know it's so hard x

Thanks @Meg5500 and @suzy124 for quelling my fears. It didn't make sense that there should be any difference between the two ways so helpful and hopeful to carry on. Its just a waiting game now, though a stressful one! Baby dust to you both :)

Is anyone taking supplements on this journey? I'm taking a prenatal and omega 3, wondering if I should also be trying coQ10 or ubiquinol? Ubiquinol is so expensive though 😕

@Missmcmonkeymcbean glad you're feeling a bit better about SI. It definitely works so just got to keep going!

@suzy124 now they know the 100mg works the way it should, I shouldn’t have to have any more scans! And yes it’s through the NHS!
I’m taking pregnacare vitamins and coq10...I’ve been taking these for over 6 months and not pregnant yet so can’t see it makes that much of a difference!

Thanks @Meg5500 think I might go ahead and add coQ10 anyway. I figure it might help with my energy levels if nothing else.
Still holding out hope for you this month, let us know how you get on 🤞

I can't start SI until cd11 this month as OH has to go away for work. That's the earliest I've ever ovulated so hoping the eggo will wait til cd13 at least

@suzy124 @bitheby @Meg5500 and everyone else.
So the prospect of a giant needle to the balls has sharpened DP up, I’ve had stern words about when I ovulate, why he needs to produce more than once in the fertile window, and why I lose my shit if he doesn’t evict the sperm from his body at all in that window.

Currently CD9 with ovulation expected CD13 and he’s produced me some. He’s away tomorrow which means he has three more goes Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Today is a long shot but it was worth a go, and hopefully the pressure is off him a bit for the rest of the week.

Using a syringe this time for the first time, plus a Softdisc afterwards to jam it all in. I think I prefer it to just putting it in the cup, seems more natural that way.

In other news we might be able to get married in 8 weeks time, a friend has offered us his VERY nice hotel that was previously unaffordable at a discount so we’ll see if we can stretch the budget a bit and get it all done. So that’s a nice distraction!
Hope everyone else has some luck this month!

Hi @suzy124 yes defo no harm in taking it! It’s good for you! And I know it does increase egg quality.

Fingers crossed timing with ovulation works in your favour! You only need one sperm though remember!

So I’m due today or tomorrow and I’m currently getting all the usual symptoms so pretty much know I’m out 😞 think it’s still going to hit me quite hard when it comes though especially as everything was so stacked in our favour.

@bollocksthemess that’s great news that he is able to produce, hopefully this is the start of turning a corner! And amazing news about the wedding, that is a great and lovely distraction!

Well I ended up buying some ubiquinol in the end so we shall see!

@bollocksthemess that's awesome to hear, really hope it continues and you get the goods closer to ovulation too. And yeah that's why I switched to syringing after a few months of cup only, felt better trying to simulate actual sex as much as possible.
Also incredible news about the wedding! Here's hoping the distraction will take your mind off ttc for a couple months and you get to really enjoy all the planning.

@Meg5500 thanks, not been stressing about the timing too much so think we'll be ok. How's things with you today? hoping AF hasn't show her ugly face

@bitheby how did the adoption evening go?

@Missmcmonkeymcbean will you be testing soon?

I'm taking Coq10. Probably around 3 months. Obviously have no idea if it's making a difference but I think it takes a few months to have an effect so let's hope so.

I'm currently 12dpo which is a bit of a miracle as the last 4 cycles have been 24 days and I'm currently CD26. Only getting BFNs though so I don't think I can get excited. Am constantly checking for AF.

The adoption evening was pretty emotional actually. They had a recent adopter to talk to us and explain how the process works. To hear about the life circumstances and the frequent temporary foster homes that the children experience really pulls on the heart strings.

I would love to do it I think but there is no guarantee that I'd be approved and I have a lot of work to do to the house and I'm in limbo at the moment with saving for potential IVF.

You can't start the adoption process until you've definitely stopped and emotionally dealt with TTC and I'm not there yet.

@suzy124 you'll have to let us know how the ubiquinol goes.
I'm 9dpo today and wondering whether to test tomorrow or hang on and wait for AF. I feel like I've been getting a lot of symptoms like cramps, bit of nausea and some headaches but not sure if I'm imagining them all as I'm so aware of every single twinge!

I caved this morning and did a frer. Bfn :(
All the symptoms I've been feeling are most likely just progesterone related rather than actual pregnancy. Onto the next cycle...

@Missmcmonkeymcbean aw no hun, it's so heartbreaking to see just one line. Remember though that implantation can be as late as 12dpo so don't despair just yet. Keeping everything crossed for you these next few days. The tricks our bodies play on us just arn't fair, I've given up symptom spotting for now as sick of getting my hopes up for AF to then arrive. It's hard not to pay attention though, when I wasn't ttc I never noticed a single thing apart from cramps the day before, not even the sore boobs!

@bitheby that's a really promising sign though, will keep my fingers crossed for you too that you get that 2nd line! The adoption evening sounded good, but yeah I'd probably be in tears hearing the stories of those poor kids being constantly moved around. Have you thought how long you'll give ttc before trying other options?

I'm really impatient to start SI, tomorrow I'll start the opks which usually makes me feel a bit better. Started the ubiquinol today but it's probably too late for it to make any kind of difference this month 🤷‍♀️

I'm 44 so my body might have already decided for me. I'm waiting on one more recurrent miscarriage blood test result (that the lab decided was unnecessary and so didn't do the first time ) and then gets sent up to the fertility clinic. I've asked to meet with a social worker as if after discussion it looks like adoption isn't an option for me, then it's all eggs in the IVF basket (so to speak) or forget motherhood.

And I'm hating my job at the moment so it's not as if I can fall back on to a fulfilling career to give me joy.

@bitheby we are giving it 3 more months then throwing everything at IVF. I also hate my job so I can sympathise.

Currently at CD11 and DP has produced the goods again! Can’t believe it to be honest.

Although I do feel like this is our first month of real trying, as it actually looks as though we might do the every other day for five days thing that you’re supposed to do. And we’ve never managed since December 🙄

It’s so expensive doing it this way too! Softcups, syringes, ovulation kits, sterile sample pots, pregnancy tests. Why can’t we just have sex a lot?!