TTC Self Insemination

[suzy124]

Hi all,

I just wondered if anyone else out there is TTC by self insemination? My partner has delayed ejaculation so it means we don't have a chance just by bd. I know there's previous threads on this topic from years ago (which have given me hope), but just feel incredibly lonely knowing we are doing things this way. My doctor didn't seem concerned at all, but I feel like it won't work.

Been TTC for 6 months, but half of those cycles I don't think I was timing it right (arrrgh!!), so really I'm on about cycle 3 where I've been using OPKS. I know people say not to use them but my ovulation date is anywhere between CD11 and CD16 so they help me a lot. I was using just the softcup method but switched to syringes when I started the OPKs, i feel like it mimics intercourse more??

Is anyone else in the same boat? I'm currently 9 or 10dpo and feeling like it hasn't worked again

No advice but I hope you have a lucky cycle this month. As an aside has your partner looked at the reason for delayed ejaculation? I have also had friends who do this and use pre seed or conceive plus to help?

We’re doing SI due to delayed ejaculation.

Partner has always been rather unreliable whether he ejaculates or not during sex. We decided to start TTC last June and I came off the pill.

We then didn’t have sex for two months as I think he panicked.
When we did resume having sex he didn’t ejaculate at all in September and October.

We had a break in November and started SI and OPKs in December. He didn’t manage it in January so we’re on cycle 4.
I leave the house with the dog so there’s less pressure, he does the deed into a sample pot which he then sticks down his pants for the ten mins it takes me to get back.

I use a softcup and preseed. Had a chemical pregnancy last cycle, on the TWW hoping to test Thursday.
I really hate it and it’s not great for our sex life.
I get irrationally annoyed that we can’t even have fun trying like ‘normal’ people, and that plus the disappointment when it doesn’t work does leak into our relationship a bit.
I’m 37 so we’ll try til June when we will have done 6 cycles then probably investigate further.

I’m 8DPO today so I’ll have everything crossed for both of us!

Thanks @Cinderellashoes
Yes I got him to go doc pre-Covid, blood pressure and everything seems ok so probably psychological. Has been referred but as you know everything got pushed back last year so having him chase this up. Don't think it will make much difference tho as he's always had it and I'm 34 now so really no time to lose!
I used pre-seed one cycle but I don't think it agreed with me. As soon as the goods went in after it burned and I knew that month that something wasn't right down there. Since pre-seed and conceive plus are v similar I tried BabyDance this cycle which seemed ok. I'm quite sensitive to stuff in general

Have any of your friends been successful?

Hi @bollocksthemess
It's so good to know I'm not alone in this! I feel exactly the same way, I get so annoyed that we can't do it 'normally' and have to bite my tongue as I know he can't help it. And yeah the longer it doesn't happen the harder it is, our relationship is suffering but I know that's down to me. I just get so depressed and it's all I can think about, coupled with everyone around me having babies.

How long do you leave the softcup in? Our current method is OH does it straight into syringe and then I will lie with hips propped up for an hour. I'm glad he's able to do this as it cuts out the extra step of having to suck it up from a sample pot and losing loads. I then insert a cup for an hour after while I go about my business (it's not a menstural cup, so that's the max time it says to leave in for). Wish I could use preseed as heard great things about it but don't think I can risk the irritation again tbh sometimes I think the semen causes irritation all on it's own!

Are you ttc#1? I have everything crossed! And I'm really sorry to hear about your CP x

Yep, No.1 for me (and him, unsurprisingly)

Our method is one I read about in a book written by a lesbian couple who had done sperm donation from randomers they found on the internet. They’d got pregnant second or third try so I decided if it worked for them when they weren’t even in a relationship with the man half of the conception, it might work for us.

So, I track ovulation using the clear blue smiley face thing. When I get the flashing smiley we do it as many times as we can until I ovulate. I have an ovulation bleed so it’s obvious.

He does the deed into a sample pot, which I then transfer into a softcup. I use a menstrual one called softdisc same as in the book. I stick some preseed in myself before I put it in.

It’s a fiddle getting it in without spillage but I use them when I’m on my period too so I’m used to them. It jams all the sperm up against your cervix and you can leave it in for 12 hours, I usually leave it overnight.

I then lie down and make myself orgasm a few times. Unlike DP I orgasm at the drop of a hat. It’s supposed to help the sperm along but who knows.

Anyway, it worked in the book but it still hasn’t worked for me!
It’s monumentally depressing and I had a complete meltdown last month, but what else are we supposed to do? I’m also concerned about even starting fertility treatment as if he can’t reliably ejaculate alone in his own house there’s no way he’ll do it in a clinic.
Anyway, I’m due on in a week so we’ll see what happens this time, but I’m not at all hopeful to be honest, I just feel like I’m due on!

@bollocksthemess that cup looks scary! When I was doing that method it was just a normal silicone mooncup, but leaving it in overnight really hurt and the next morning I always thought I was going to end up in A&E because I took forever to get it out. Also didn't think it was getting the goods close enough to the cervix so switched to syringe. The cup I put in after now is fertilily conception cup, keeps the sperm much closer to cervix and has a long stem so much easier to remove for me. Not sure why you can't have it in more than 1hr as doesn't seem any different to any other cup, altho it does start to hurt around that time. According to everything I've read, sperm don't take long to swim through cervix so hoping this is true and not ruining my chances by not having a cup in overnight.

Have you used OPK sticks as well? I get 2 or 3 days of positive and temperature rise not always clear cut so I'm not always sure of exact day of ovulation. We used SMEP this month for the 2nd time, if it hasn't worked I might get the clearblue smiley one too to see if it gives more warning.

Also you're not alone in feeling that way. I consider it a good day if I don't have a meltdown! I have also had the thought of 'will he be able to do it in a clinic' so I'm sorry you are struggling too. It's so hard..

I've been having mild period-like cramps ever since Ovulation this month which is new for me, I never get them until a couple days before AF but I'm not hopeful. Last month my boobs started to hurt about 4 days before she arrived, again never had this before so I thought maybe, just maybe? But it wasn't to be. I hate the 2ww so much!
Have you had any symptoms?

@suzy124 I don’t even feel the cup! It sort of sits behind your pubic bone and I have to consciously remember to take it out. It’s not like a mooncup, the bit that holds the sperm is like cellophane so I poke it at my cervix once it’s in. It’s the least romantic way of making a baby I can think of!

I’m using clear blue digital opks, I’m not temping as I think I’d drive myself (more) mental looking at charts. It’s expensive but very easy.

Unfortunately I was briefly pregnant in a previous relationship and miscarried at 6/7 weeks so I know exactly how being pregnant feels. Annoyingly it feels exactly like being due on for me, sore boobs, a bit crampy and a bit bloaty. It was only at 2-3 weeks I felt sick.

Anyway, the sore boobs have arrived and although I felt a bit sick earlier today, I’m 99.9% sure I’m imagining it

After the chemical last month I started taking aspirin, it won’t do any harm and it might help? And I’m taking folic acid.

This cycle we SI’d the day before and the day of ovulation. It will be very disappointing if this doesn’t work.

I’m trying to be as healthy as possible but for fucks sake actual crackheads manage to get pregnant and have babies so I’m not going overboard just yet given that I’m a healthy weight, exercise every single day and I’m not a crackhead!

I agree it will be so disappointing even though I don't think it's happened. Like you I'm throwing everything I have at this, I'm eating healthier, I started yoga, drinking raspberry leaf tea first half of cycle, pregnancy vitamins, I even gave up my beloved coffee! I keep thinking too how people like that get pregnant at the drop of a hat and its so unfair

I would love to be able to use that cup but I don't think it would ever see daylight again With the one I have I'm just poking it up as far as I can and hoping for the best, same with the syringe no idea if I'm supposed to be aiming a certain way. I've never been able to locate my cervix.

Do you think the clearblue is worth investing in? I'm just wondering would it pick up earlier than when I get positive with the test sticks or would there not be much difference. We are dtd every other day up until a positive test anyway to be safe

I'm so sorry you had a MC too. I can't imagine how painful that is x

@bollocksthemess also what's the aspirin for?

With the clear blue, I figure a child is going to be expensive anyway so I may as well spend the money trying to get one! And it’s idiot proof and quick, which is helpful when I’m weeing on a stick at 5am.

The aspirin I’ve read can help make a pregnancy stick if you’ve previously had CP or a miscarriage. No idea why but it’s worth a go.
I’ll keep everything crossed for us both and update when I poas!

Good luck to you!! I'm going to try and hold out and only test if AF is late. I find I get more depressed with a negative test and days to go before she arrives. Guess I'll know this time next week...

@bollocksthemess how you getting on? AF got me today so feeling pretty devastated

Hi @suzy124
14 DPO here and a bfn this morning. AF due tomorrow or the next day so now just waiting for it to arrive.
Threw the test down the stairs in a rage, DP is still sleeping and oblivious.
I just don’t know what else to try

A friend of mine swears by decongestants, orally of course. Apparently the reduction in mucus really helps, and she got pregnant so who knows!

I know a lady who SI'd and ended up with 2 kids.

Even perfectly fertile people can take, on average, 12 months so TRY not to stress out too much. Took my husband and I 18 months. I needed metformin for insulin resistance to actually ovulate properly

Hi , just came across this thread and wanted to add that it worked for me so just hold in there because it does work ! I doubted it completely I thought it would be impossible but it happened so keep the faith and keep going ! Xx good luck 🤞

@bollocksthemess sorry to hear that, still I'm hoping it might just be too early and AF stays away for you. I don't know what to try either, I was secretly sure all my cramping this month was a sign of something.

@sykadelic Thank you for the inspo. I'm intrigued by the decongestants, do you know how reducing mucus helps? I'm willing to try anything at this point

@Faye32 Thank you. I am currently feeling it will be impossible for us. Can I ask what you used to SI the month you conceived or do you have any tips?

Hi , I used a syringe and a soft cup immediately after - I kept that in around 5/6 hours and I did just two rounds of insemination over 2 days ! I didn’t lay there or focus on it too much as my mum had just died , my head was all over the place , in the absolute worst stress of my life so I didn’t think it would work and I never gave it a second thought where as previous months I tried to do everything - not drinking , not eating any naughty etc etc - obs the month it worked was when I wasn’t thinking about it and certainly not paying attention to what I was drinking/ eating !! Xx

@Faye32 what softcup did you use? I'm struggling to find one comfortable enough that I can leave in for a good length of time. Also did you use any lubricant?

Sorry to hear about your mum and amazing you conceived that month. I don't think I'll ever be able to not think about it any given month because I want it more than anything.

Suzy124 don’t worry about thinking about it it’s impossible not to but try not to get hung up on doing this and that in order for it to work - it’s mainly down to probability and getting the timing bang on - you can’t control those things so don’t pay attention to it , your body knows what to do don’t worry.
Iv been trying to find the soft cups I used but can’t find them anywhere , they came in a white box and they were really flimsy little things but they did the job . No I didn’t use any lubricant but I did orgasm as they say that helps so if you can do that x ask me anything you need to x

Hi. There is a current thread for this. It's an ongoing thread so the title isn't so obvious now:

The SI Undergraduates: Syringes, Yoghurt Pots and Legs in the Air part 4 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4207734-The-SI-Undergraduates-Syringes-Yoghurt-Pots-and-Legs-in-the-Air-part-4

I'm self inseminating with a donor. Had two early losses/ chemicals but several months of absolutely nothing. I'm in my TWW now but not hugely optimistic.

Thank you @Faye32 Trying not to obsess over the details but it's hard when not doing it the conventional way. Not able to orgasm lying on my back so hope it doesn't hurt my chances. If you ever do find the brand of soft cups please let me know x

Hi @bitheby I joined that thread but my posts are getting a bit lost because those girls having been going through this together for a long time. Please feel free to post about your journey here would love to get a little support group going. I'm sorry about your chemicals, how long have you been trying and what method do you use? Wishing you all the best for your 2ww and fx!

@suzy124 it was a negative FRER so at 14 DPO on day 25 of a 26 day cycle I think I can be sure I’m not pregnant sadly.
Plus I want to murder DP which is a sure sign AF is coming.

Anyway, I have decongestants as a new thing to look into along with taking aspirin and folic acid every day.
And I’ve just ordered more clear blue opks and softdiscs ready for cycle 5 of proper counting, but cycle 10 since I came off the pill last June.
How depressing.

If we still have no luck next cycle I’m going to get us both checked out as I’ve convinced myself of everything from DP having no sperm, to me having no eggs, or something terrible wrong with me like cancer.
I understand this is completely mad of me so I would never tell anyone in real life

@bollocksthemess I'm gonna be getting some tests soon too thanks to an angel of a GP. A year is such a long time to wait and by the time that passes i'll be 35 anyway, when it's then down to 6 mo. Also don't want to be wasting time trying when there could be something wrong. Like you I'm convinced OH has no sperm or I've got endo or something, so no you're not mad!

Having such a low day and in so much pain with AF. Hoping this next cycle is the lucky one for both of us. OH is away with work until CD 9 so can't SI until CD10 at the earliest. Hoping I don't ovulate early