TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!

[Lowkeyloopy]

Hi all!

I know there are several threads dedicated to this topic, which I've lurked on for several weeks without saying anything, but some threads (sadly) have so many people on them that it can be a bit hard to follow, or it feels awkward to jump into the middle of a conversation between people who have been chatting for a while. Does anyone fancy joining me on a new thread?

My story: 33, TTC baby #1, conceived first cycle in Feb, but had a MC at 6 weeks in early March. Absolutely awful, as everyone knows, and I was in a rubbish place mentally for a few weeks, but I've also counted my blessings - it was early, I needed no medical intervention and at least I know I can conceive. Also AF has returned today - 29 days after first day of my MC. I usually have a 28-29 day cycle so am so grateful that my body seems to be getting with the programme again.

So CD1 for me, and I'll be TTC this month and back to tracking - BBT from tomorrow, OPKs from CD 11, still taking my Pregnacare and trying to keep exercising and eating healthily!

Would anyone like to join me if they're going through something similar? How have you been coping since your MC? What's on your TTC to-do list?! (Other than the obvious..!)

Baby dust to all xx

Hey @ALittleOCD - love your username! Welcome and I'm so sorry for your loss. Hopefully you're feeling more positive now that you've had one AF and are looking ahead to TTC again.

I would always be so reluctant to question a doctor... but their advice on TTC after MC is SO inconsistent! And I think outdated. I think if you MC'd at 6 weeks or less and your levels are 0 and you feel emotionally ready, there is nothing to stop you from trying again straight away - some people don't even wait until after they get a proper period, as you can ovulate two weeks after a miscarriage. They just advise waiting until after a proper period so that they can date the pregnancy. I spoke to two nurses at the EPU after my MC who said different things - one said I could try straight away, and the other said I should wait for a period. Then when I pushed her a bit on why that was, she could't say - "Well you know science.. some studies say one thing and some studies say another". I eventually decided that the Miscarriage Association knows best - www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/information/worried-about-pregnancy-loss/trying-again/

That page refers to a study showing you're actually likely to be more fertile in the six months after MC, though they don't know why. And actually they don't limit it to pregnancies that were 6 weeks or less either.

So my vote is, unless your doc has given you a specific reason why you should wait, to crack on if you feel ready!

@Lowkeyloopy I love your user name too!! Bug fan of alliteration haha.

WOW.. Thank you so much for putting the effort into your response that you did.

It was the beginning of my 6th week, so still really early on. My hormones really levelled out quickly and when she did the scan 2 weeks after the MC there was only 4mm of lining in the uterus which she said will definitely come out after AF. My HCG was 27 when I went for that scan and she said if it drops to 0 after AF it means we're in the clear but should wait a month to make dating and hormone tracking easier.

I hate acting like I know better as honestly, I know she is good at what she does but there's no saying it's going to be easy to conceive and don't want to waste a month just for the heck of it.

Going to chat to Hubby tonight (he is very strict about listening to doctors). If he is comfortable I think I'd like to go for it :)

Still no AF for me. Temp has dipped a little in the last few days but not loads. Not been easy to temp because I keep waking up in the night really hot and thirsty so temps are slightly erratic.

If no AF by Friday, I'll test then, but I think it's pretty unlikely I'm PG and expect AF to arrive today. No sore bbs, only light cramps and the thirst. I have a headache today but that's normally a precursor to AF so let's see.

Sorry I must be super annoying in not just testing! I think I am genuinely a little scared of POAS now that I know two lines doesn't equal baby. Having a chemical post MC would make me feel more anxious about being able to carry a baby to term, so I just don't wanna know! I also couldn't bear to see the blank white screen and then have to wait around for AF. If the hope is going to end, I'd like it to be on CD1, so my fresh start starts straight away!

My DP and I have decided that if AF arrives, I get to order a mountain of sushi and crack open the bottle of white chilling in the fridge.

Any more updates from anyone else?

@Lowkeyloopy If it helps when I did get my BFP it was the only month that I had 0 symptoms.. for the first time ever, my boobs weren't sore. Holding thumbs for you!

@ALittleOCD Oh you're v welcome! I'm mainly procrastinating from work, haha. Take a look at the Tommy's website too - that says something similar.

That thing about uterus / endometrial lining is a little confusing to me. I think 4mm is pretty normal for someone who is bleeding - you don't want all of it to come away! I think it's around 2-4mm during AF, then increases to like 10mm+ around ovulation.

Are you going for another blood test to confirm HCG is 0? Mine was 12 a couple of days after my MC started and so they said no need to have another test because it all seemed to be passing naturally and would be 0 soon. I'd be interested to know why she thinks HCG needs to drop to 0 before trying again. You'll want to make sure you get a negative pregnancy test beforehand I guess, so you don't get confused about whether you're pregnant or have left over HCG when you try again. But otherwise I don't think there is any danger in still having some HCG in your system while TTC.

That said, I am very much not a doctor and only going off what I'm been told / my extensive googling on the subject! But I would probably only follow the doc's advice if they could back it up with a reason. Two months can feel like a lifetime in TTC world.

@Lowkeyloopy so I have been for 4 HCG tests.. 1 when I started bleeding it was 29.. The next one was the next day which was 31.. So the doc wanted me to go again a week into my MC when the bleeding got heavy and I was at 27.

I went this past Monday, the day after AF arrived and my HCG is 0 now.

@ALittleOCDOh that's a lot of blood tests - poor you! That makes sense now. Sounds like you have a clean slate :)

Thank you re the lack of sore boobs support! You're not the first to have said that on this thread. Here's hoping.

I might have to test tomorrow if it doesn't show, not Friday. I just went to the loo utterly convinced it had started because of a low back ache - and nada.

I will put myself out of my my misery tomorrow and stop boring everyone on here with my phantom symptoms!

@Lowkeyloopy no updates, according to my Flo app I’m due on next Monday. Have had tender/fulling feeling boobs since Saturday now. That usually happens a week or so before I. Get AF so gonna see what happens. Like you I do not want to see 2 lines and then AF come later so I’ve decided if my period doesn’t come before I’m going to wait til next Saturday morning (15th) to test as I’m supposed to be going out drinking. If AF arrives before then obviously I’ll know but if not I’ll test only on that day, having a chemical would make me feel more anxious too. And it’s just horrible to have your hopes and dreams shattered isn’t it.

@ALittleOCD welcome, so sorry for your loss and hope you’re feeling ok. I’d start trying again now tbh, especially if you know your hormone levels are back to 0. My doctor said the only reason you are advised to wait for a period is for dating purposes...

@Lowkeyloopy Holding thumbs for you for next week!! :) I understand your trepidation towards testing.

Thank you for the vote of confidence. I think that we're going to start trying again. I don't see the reason for waiting if my lining is all gone and hormones normal

@CMcA21 Sorry I meant to tag you in my message above but honestly my brain is flying at half mast today

Welcome @ALittleOCD and so sorry for your loss. As @Lowkeyloopy said the only reason they advise you to wait until after your period is to make dating easier but my understanding is you can start trying again as soon as the bleeding has stopped. Did your doctor give a medical reason for waiting two cycles? Some people might need that time to feel emotionally ready but that's for you to decide

@Lowkeyloopy I have a really good feeling about this month for you! How many DPO are you? Keeping everything crossed for your testing tomorrow 🤞🏻

@ItsMeantToBe I hope you're ok and enjoying some delicious cheese. I had some brie last week and it was so amazing it made me wonder why I was so desperate to get pregnant again!

I'm 1DPO (maybe) and after 2 days of positive OPKs and quite strong ovulation pain yesterday I expected a temp rise today but it had actually gone down a little. I panicked and ordered a day 21 progesterone home testing kit which I now realise was ridiculous cos I might get a temp rise tomorrow. I think I've lost the plot. I'm just so desperate to know that everything is working ok. It's frustrating having irregular cycles when they've been like clockwork for 18yrs! 😭

Welcome @ALittleOCD and sorry to hear about your loss. I was also advised to wait for bloods before I started trying again but was too impatient so I started trying straight after my CP. I think most of us on this thread have started trying straight away, but I might be wrong.

@Lowkeyloopy I feel your pain, the last few days waiting for AF is a killer. Plus the fear of wiping every time you go the loo🙈. Lots of luck for the morning!

I have enjoyed lots of cheese today as well as some wine, thanks @Flopsy88 .I'm going to put so much weight on this week at this rate, but I'm enjoying treating myself so who cares. I can't wait for AF to go away and for ovulation but if feels like such a long way off atm.

@Flopsy88 It must be frustrating having irregular cycles. I'm hoping mine go back to normal this month. I've made so many pricey snap purchases this month, so I get it. Anything to make us feel better is worth it. I'm glad you're all as obsessive as I am, makes me feel slightly more normal 😂!

Thanks for the good vibes gals! I can't count the number of times I've gone to check for AF today because of serious crampy AF feelings. Earlier today I wondered whether maybe I'm not PG but all the POM juice and brazil nuts have made my uterine lining TOO good and it's refusing to budge and let AF arrive! That's science right?!

@Flopsy88 - maybe that was just your ovulation dip! I bet you it will spike tomorrow! No judgement here re losing the plot - been there! I hope you'll be able to relax a little over the next few days - I can't practice what I preach, but I would've loved to be able to go to sleep at 1 DPO and wake up at 12 DPO. Wishing my life away - awful! Finding a distraction would've been better.

@CMcA21 Good thinking re when to test and avoiding knowing about a chemical - we've got to protect our mental health and emotions around all this haven't we? I don't think I properly appreciated that. Same goes for symptom spotting. I'm going to try to take it easy next month and put it out of my head until at least 10 DPO... hopefully!

@ItsMeantToBe - I'm going to add brie to my "not PG" to-do list! Looking forward to ordering my sushi mountain tomorrow!

@Lowkeyloopy Update????!

Morning @ItsMeantToBe and everyone - AF has arrived..! Obviously disappointing, but not crushing and really not a surprise. I had tried to tell myself a bit that lack of sore bbs could be a symptom and I wouldn't necessarily feel the same as I did as last time, but I just felt far too normal to be PG! Only annoying thing is those very noticeable pinches and then sharp twinges on the right hand side over a few days. But as my cycle is normal/regular and I don't have pain or any other worrying symptoms of anything, I guess I have to assume they're normal (and to ignore them next time).

Feeling a sense of relief actually, now that I'm out of the TWW. Looking forward to my wine and sushi! Also going to do a HIIT class as soon as AF lets up a bit and generally try to get back to the exercise routine that I neglected since the MC. And have a guilt free BOILING hot bath!

I'm going to treat this this past month as a lesson in understanding my cycle and trusting my body again. Trusting that I WILL get a peak, that I WILL ovulate, that I WILL have a (roughly) regular cycle etc. So I'll focus this month on just being as relaxed and healthy as possible and DTD'ing at the right time. (Though if anyone has any tips for the first half of the month to increase the odds, I'm all ears - I love the tips!)

So feeling ok and positive atm... I can't guarantee I'll feel like that constantly, particularly as I watch my friends' pregnancies progressing.. but my time will come and I have lots to be happy about and grateful for in the meantime.

How is everyone else doing today?

Sorry to hear that @Lowkeyloopy but like you say at least everything seems to be normal and you can focus on next month now rather than worry over the TWW. I think I will be joining you soon, I've had zero symptoms just a bit of cramping but no soreness in boobs or cm like last time. I'm 8dpo today But already on cd33 so I think I'm having a super long cycle. I think I might try preseed next month if af does arrive.. enjoy your wine sushi and hot bath! Xxx

Oh no! I'm sorry to hear that @Lowkeyloopy but so pleased you're feeling so positive. You're absolutely right to be reassured that your cycle is regular and your body it doing everything it should. Your next fertile week will be here before you know it! Xx

I've accepted that I haven't ovulated this month as my temps are still going down. I know you can have an LH surge and not ovulate but the ovulation pain is confusing, it's unmistakable and makes dtd slightly painful. I DEFINITELY had that this month. I also wondered if maybe I did ovulate but my progesterone is too low to get a temp rise which would mean the lining of my womb isn't thick enough for implantation. If this happens again next month I'm going to call the GP. What if the miscarriage was my last egg??! 😭

Here is my sad sad chart 😔

Aww sorry to hear that @Lowkeyloopy I know what you mean though about being a bit relieved. It's nice to relax and not worry about what your eating, drinking etc and get it all of your system to start a fresh next month. I'm going to use this month as a learning opportunity too. It'll be good to see if my cycle follows a similar pattern to last month.

It's so hard seeing pregnant people isn't it. Someone close to me is due to be induced next week at 37 weeks as her baby is measuring small. Exactly the same as her previous pregnancy as she's smoked all the way though them. Drives me crazy. I don't know how I'll feel about seeing them. I might even use covid as an excuse to not for a few weeks.

@Flopsy88 God it's all so confusing isn't it. Fingers crossed for this month for you but if not speaking to your GP can't hurt.

@Lowkeyloopy I'm sorry AF came.. pretty amazing that your body is back in the swing of things though.

@ItsMeantToBe Isn't that just so irritating. Some people can be on drugs, smoke and do what they want for a whole pregnancy and still give birth to a healthy baby. Doesn't seem fair.

@Lowkeyloopy enjoy your treats and your workout! 💜

@Flopsy88 I feel so sad for you and just want to give you a hug. I definitely think contacting the GP next month is a good idea.

Are there any foods/drinks you are supposed to have in the TWW to help with implantation? I’m sure I read something somewhere about it but I can’t remember

@CMcA21 I need to know the answer to that too! I know POM juice and Brazil nuts but now sure on anything else.

How is everyone today? AF has finally stopped for me so I'm excited to start a new month. I'm going to start checking my temp from tomorrow and see how I get on with that, I will start using my cheap OPK too. Any good app recommendations?

Thank you @CMcA21 ❤❤

What is POM juice? Is it just pomegranate or has it got extra stuff in too? I'm eating a tin of pineapple a day in the TWW cos apparently it helps thicken the lining of your uterus. I'm only 3dpo and already sick of it. Brazil nuts as well which is much easier. Also sleeping in my socks too which I hate so I'd better have bloody ovulated! I'm sure it's all bullshit but nice to feel like you're doing something productive! I had a big temp rise this morning so I don't know what to think now. Hopefully it says up and was just a slow rise.

Glad you're feeling excited for your new cycle @ItsMeantToBe !! You sound really positive 🙂 Fingers crossed this is your month! I use the premom app which I'm happy with but heard good things about fertility friend too

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend planned!

www.accessfertility.com/blog/ivf-myths-debunked/ 😭😭😭

@Flopsy88 think POM juice is a brand but it’s just pomegranate juice.

Surely there is something that we can eat and drink to make sure our lining thickens!! My goal for the day is to research it 😂

Also @ItsMeantToBe I use Kindara for temp tracking and fertility tracking and it shows you a good chart so you can compare stuff!

So remember I posted last week that I’d had that bit of blood in the CM/discharge? I wear a fit bit and my heart rate always rests at 64/65 but since last Friday when that happened it’s gone up to 69, is this just a coincidence or do we think it could mean something? My heart rate went up last time when I was PG.
I’m due AF monday or Tuesday but I don’t really have any symptoms yet, I’ve been taking the seven seas tablets though and I’m worried they’ve lengthened my cycle and I’m gonna think I’m Pg next week but get a BFN if I test 😭