Post Pill Party - The Ceilidh

[TheDaydreamBelievers]

As the Post Pill Party Mosh Pit dies down... sweaty and bewildered, the ladies head to the bar to freshen up. Suddenly, a fiddler bursts onto the stage, beginning a merry tune. Everybody swings into an energetic Ceilidh!

Our heads are spinning, our bodies are knackered but we arent giving up dancing when the music is this catchy!

This is the 8th post pill party thread for women whose bodies don't know the correct dance steps after hormonal contraception. Raise a dram to combating delayed ovulation, flabberghasting follicular phases, loopy luteal phases, bizzare temp charts and OPKs whiter than a Scotsman's bum!

@kay00 a third one?! I have luckily not been on one since.... 2015 lol. Are you finding them tough? Depending on the friend I'd potentially decline. Well done for going on two runs! I hate running so it's always a last resort for me. One thing I wish I had was a home gym as I do really enjoy lifting weights. Btw if you're not ovulating then the GP should be able to refer you to a fertility clinic straight away without having to wait a year - even if it's inflammation related the fertility clinic might decide to put you on clomid?

@Moocher90 ah yes for some traction though!! Did you mention TTC at all in that conversation? Agreed on waiting being a PITA. We still haven't even received the form for the repeat SA OH has to do and I have a feeling there's at least 6 weeks waiting before it can be done.

OK ladies... I have an odd one.

I sent for a run with my bestie last night (lets call her Amy). We got talking about the baby shower tonight (our mutual friend) and my friend Amy said that whenever one of her friends announces a pregnancy she goes into a period of mourning, for the lost friendship. She says that her friends relationships always change once a baby arrives and they often drift away.

Gulp. I have not told her... or anyone... that I am TTC. She has decided not to have children due to her mental health, endometriosis and because the world is over populated. I think she assumes I am not either... because i'm 35 and not had any yet (?).

What would you do? Tell her that I am trying for a baby? I don't want our friendship to be ruined

@Kay00 That's such a tough one. One of my best friends is the same and when the other friends in our group had their children she's always like 'thank god I still have you...' I daren't tell her I'm TTC. The thought of even telling her if I do get preg fills me with dread as I don't want to upset her. I know she'd be really supportive but I still worry.
I don't think your friendship would be ruined, I'm sure you'd still make a massive effort to see her and do stuff with her. She probably just moans more to you because you haven't had children yet, I'm sure she'll be supportive.

@MissC07 yes, I know she would be supportive, and I am very much of the opinion that my life will continue once any baby comes along. I will still (one i'm able to) join her for running and games nights (and hopefully cocktails one day too!!) as my OH will also be parenting.

But I think it will break her heart. All the women our age (mid-30s) in our friend group now have babies (or are about to have one) and the other ladies we hang out with are in their early 20s (which is fine, and we are all one big happy friend group, but there is a solidarity about being the oldest ladies together).

@kay00 Gah that's a tough one! I'd probably just mention that "when" you do have kids one day you promise not to be one of those mums that only want to hang out with other mums and ditch their child free friends? She could be the cool auntie?

@Moocher90 glad they have agreed to do more tests. It sucks it's such a long wait but at least something is happening now!

@Kay00 thanks. Not going to lie, was a little devastated about the bfn as I was really hoping this was it with the high temps and no real af symptoms. Chart attached. Really sorry ovulation still hasn't happened, I know how frustrating it is. Definitely speak to your GP. As for your friend, I agree with @Juno231 and try to reassure her you're not going to stop hanging out with her.

@Kay00 I agree they should be referring you to specialist services now. Our charts are super similar btw - CD33 here and up down up down the same with no determined ovulation. I think @Juno231's plan about your friend is a good one "when I have kids I promise not to dump you".

I understand your concerns about how Amy may feel (you're a good friend) but her response also isn't your responsibility - we can only be good to other people and help support their happiness, we aren't responsible for it (hope that makes sense).

Also, god almighty I could not be arsed with that many baby showers on zoom.

@Flowers222 that is certainly textbook chart! Please be kind to yourself, think about the positives from this cycle and plan for the next xx

Thanks @flowers222 and @Juno231 it certainly is a difficult situation. I need to think about what to do, but I think i'm going to have to have a chat with her at some point. It would be nice to have her support if anything goes wrong or if I never manage to conceive... as it might be hurtful if she makes comments to the effect of 'we never wanted kids'.

@TheDaydreamBelievers haha - i'm sick of baby showers now too!

And thank you for your kind comments xx I agree, I can't stop my life because of her feelings/decisions about having a family. I also don't want my decisions to be a source of stress between us.

@Juno231 yes I mentioned TTC and crazy cycles and not ovulating. Hopefully notes marry up with gp surgery and gp refers me for more fertility tests too to confirm I am not ovulating.

@Kay00 and @Flowers222 I’m glad I’m in the system now but it’s frustrating the continuous waiting.... maybe the gp will assist with any fertility stuff as clearly not ovulating is infertility and I need help to address that.

@LauraT94 it was me! We’ve ummed and ahhed about moving the wedding but think we’re gunna go ahead with our May date for the legalities and have a big party / celebration later down the line

Completely agree though I’ll be TTC throughout because I can’t imagine ever going back on the pill or anything similar

@Kay00 @TheDaydreamBelievers Thanks ladies for the optimism. I did jump OH last night just incase I was yet to ovulate, but then got spotting and AF arrived this morning! Onto cycle 5 😬 I don't think i did ovulate, otherwise I'd have a 7 day LP and they are usually between 13-15 days. I'm told they don't usually fluctuate much?

@Juno231 You were right about a wonky cycle post-CP! I hope it only takes one cycle to normalise, as all the extra effort I made last month seems like a waste now.
And I'm

@Flowers222 Was it you who had a CP last month too or was that someone else? You definitely looked like you ovulated and a good chart though so don't count yourself out just yet

@Robyn101 @Moocher90 sorry you're not ovulating. I totally understand the stress of wondering if your body is even giving you a chance at all

@Sperr I think it was you with the wedding dilemma.. if I were you I'd look at a 2021 wedding now if you think 2022 is going to stress you out baby making wise. Then it's something to look forward to either way and you won't feel like you put off the wedding for no reason if you don't get pregnant. Takes the pressure off TTC too!

@Juno231 pressed send too soon on my reply to you.. I was going to say I totally get you with the wedding anniversary thing. We'll be 5 years this year and our parents and in laws have been on at us for ages.
In a way I'm dreading coming out of lockdown as I'm sure there'll be more questions and our brother in law and his girlfriend (who's only 20 and fell straight away obviously 😂) have just announced they're having a baby in august. Though hopefully that'll take some of the spotlight off us!

@Emmgrem omg about your BIL and his gf! Yeah my dad has made a lot of comments about how we can't possible have anything better to do during lockdown so why aren't we having babies? Last time I saw OH's dad in between lockdowns he was staring at my tummy (I was wearing a big jumper) to see if I had a bump! Sorry to hear AF made it - does sound like you may have had an anovulatory cycle. Hopefully this next one will be the one!

@Emmgrem I had a chemical in December, so this was my second cycle since. My cycles were already irregular so if the chemical had a impact I haven't been able to tell! Hopefully things will settle again for you next time. I also totally get about the parents being on you about having babies. My MIL keeps saying she is surprised we haven't announced we are pregnant yet and my Nan asks every time I talk to her, she keeps saying how I'm getting older and won't have much time left, I'm 29 so feel like time is on my side at the moment! 🙄

@Juno231 @Kay00 check you out with all your exercises I was determined to start exercising this week then I sprained my ankle 😂 @Kay00 I agree with all the others with your friend, you’re such a good friend to be so concerned about how having a baby will make her feel!

@Moocher90 sounds like your heading in the right direction, 6 weeks time will be here before you know it!

As for parents asking about grandkids, we don’t really get asked! My mom kind of guessed we were TTC but she doesn’t mention it and OH mom occasionally says ‘where are my grand babies’ only when she’s drunk though 😂

The nurse took soooo much blood at my tests today, by the 5th tube full she said I’m taking so much because the doctor has asked for a full MOT.....manic day at work I’m ready to hit my bed!

@Juno231 slutty cervix 😂 very true though! My sex drive is through the roof. Think it's back to 'normal', which is nice as it was rock bottom during pregnancy and after the MC!

@Ttcin2021 that's so true! As much as I've waited 2 years to wear my dress already, it'll be just as gorgeous with a few alterations - and what better reason than that I'm growing a gorgeous bump?!

@Kay00 I'm sorry ovulation just doesn't seem to be happening at the mo 😩 as for your friend, I definitely think that @Juno231's idea of talking about 'when' you have a bubba is a good starting point! Doesn't directly tell her you're TTC but also plants the idea! And definitely would be nice to have the option of getting support from her if need be. If she's a true friend then she'll understand and be there for you no matter what ❤️

@Robyn101 ahh of course it was you! I hope we won't live to regret moving from our May date haha 🤦🏼‍♀️ but we'll see! Your wedding will be an amazing day no matter how many people can attend ❤️

@Emmgrem sorry that you had a confusing cycle too!! Onto a fresh cycle, let's hope for more clarity with this one!

@ChinChilly full MOT sounds fab, think I could do with one of them 😂

Has anyone else tried the grapefruit juice trick?! Tmi but I've got so much EWCM! OPKs starting to creep up now so I'm hoping for peak in the next few days!

@LauraT94 it must of been all the moaning I did 😂😂 I tried grapefruit juice this cycle I definitely had more CM and loads of EWCM for about 7-10 days on the run up to Ovulation

@chinchilly 5 vials sounds good! That reminds me that I should check up on my four 🙊

I turned down a job in Aug that have come back to me now with a higher offer. I don't think I'd be happy working there but my god do I resent that my main concern is that I wouldn't be entitled to their mat pay until I'd have been there for a year first... I can feel the gender pay gap widening already lol.

Also - femometer you can do one (see pic)

@Juno231 I hope that gift is a fudging baby!

@Juno231 piss off femometer! I've just bit the bullet and signed up to a year of FF. Means I get to put RHR on my chart!

Have now had 3 proper days of cramps waking me at 6am but no AF yet. C'mon and hurry up, crimson lady!!!

Morning all

Thanks for the messages the other day @LauraT94 @Kay00 @ChinChilly @Cams50 @Flowers222 @firsttimemummy321 I think I've gone from having a gradual surge in previous months to a rapid one and I got my peak the next day. Managed to DTD every other day from cd10 and then two days in a row when I got my peak so I feel confident we've covered ourselves as best we can.

@TheDaydreamBelievers Hope that AF turns up soon, if that's what is happening. Your RHR line looks really good though! Hope the confusion is over soon.

@LauraT94 Great news that your opks are creeping up! Sounds like you'll be just fine to cover the fertile days!

@chinchilly Sounds like they're really going to town with the testing now! Fingers crossed that you get some more clarity from them all!

@kay00 Sorry the soy hasn't done the trick yet this month. I'm sure the doctors will be able to help - or at least direct you towards someone who can.

@ChinChilly shows it pays off to be your own advocate! Will definitely try grapefruit juice again next cycle if no luck on this one.

@Juno231 how shit of Femometer!! 🖕🏻 Good news on the job offer though. Although worrying about the mat pay! Is that 1 year before getting pregnant or 1 year before leaving for mat leave?

@TheDaydreamBelievers oohh we love a bit of FF premium 😜

Got a 50% on opk with FMU and I usually get my strongest ones any time from 11am-4pm! So fingers crossed for maybe a positive today?! Even if not peak.

@LauraT94 ah opks are sounding good! Here's to a peak today/tomorrow!

@TheDaydreamBelievers haha love that you took the plunge - I haven't regretted mine and I've loved to be able to look at "charts like mine"

My temps are all over the place this FP. Not sure I've ever had them this high this late 🤷‍♀️.