Ttc #1 - cycle 7

[rosiej95]

Really fed up of AF showing up month after month now 🤦🏼‍♀️ we've been taking the see what happens but dtd lots approach. But now going into month 7 so We've decided to use the clear blue opk's to see if it gives us a better chance. 🤷🏼‍♀️
Now to just wait for AF to disappear 😀

Any one else ttc #1? 😀

@Amy259 oooo I'll give that a little Google later on, ahh soo she's worked her magic for family's then that sounds promising? 😁

@J1990 haha constantly obsessing too 😂😂 I try not to work out how many dpo I am as such because other wise I feel I'm constantly counting down the days & it drags 😂😂

@rosiej95 yeah seems that way! Although lots of her clients are already undergoing IVF too so that probably helps 😂

@J1990 I find it varies for me, maybe every other month? Depending on how hopeful I feel. So last month I was super hopeful so it DRAGGED but this month has been bad at all yet, I’m on 8dpo and still feel okay. Whereas next month I’m adding soy so I’ll be hopeful again and it’ll no doubt be a long, anxious, stressy, over-analysing two weeks haha

@J1990 I am very similar to you! I have tried those things but what is epo? Have you contacted doctor about seminal analysis or blood tests? My cycle was 28-31 until covid vaccine and currently I'm cycle 2 after covid and AF is due on cd38! It's crazy. I am using ferti-lily too. Quite like it but not worked this month I'm sure.

Yeah you're definitely not my friends friend as we are in Scotland haha. But I'll try to find out more information but I know she is struggling with GPs to get blood results and such. I haven't found my gp helpful throughout this. I've struggled a lot with family and work announcements. There was another one just last wk so now I'm the only in the office that doesn't have children or pregnant (apart from one women who is not child friendly in any way!). It's really hard. It only gets harder as Rosie mentioned at some point before but at the end of the day it's your own life. These people and their children don't directly affect me, my SIL does which is tough but it'll happen at some point and I know there will be so much love to give. I was the same too with wanting a child but my DH wanting to wait til we were married etc. Family said to do that too because "you'll have no issues getting pregnant - we never..."... Helpful. DHs family don't know anything about us trying. I'd like them to know because just now they thing I'm negative Nancy because of work as we work opposite shifts and we don't often get to see each other. When actually work is affecting ttc due to not seeing each other or the hours we have to work affecting cycle tracking. My family know. They no longer speak about it as they know that "it'll happen soon" isn't doing anything. It's the most lonely I've ever felt, even with dg and others around me. There's nothing to do but to keep trying and hoping. It's tough but we are tougher!!

@Loops01 Evening Primrose Oil. I think its more to help with cm but I don't seem to have an issue with that so probably won't bother with it again! It's so disheartening when you hear people having great success with certain things but when you try it, it does nothing!

Funnily enough, I've just had my blood test forms through. No letter with it so I'm a bit lost with whether I need to fast (which it looks like I do) and whether I need to do it on a particular day in my cycle? I think I will aim for cd3, would you agree?

How do you know AF isn't due until cd38? Luteal phase? Interesting about covid vaccine. I had mine done the other day but was a bit unsure whether I should. I saw a few posts as I was passing through Reddit where the vaccine actually seemed to help people conceive so I'm clinging onto that

I am also a negative Nancy! It's draining isn't it. I have cried everytime AF arrives. But we pick ourselves back up again & try again the next month.

Shift work must make everything so much more difficult and regimented. I already find it quite scheduled so can't imagine having totally different patterns.

I keep telling myself I have to stop comparing our situation to others as it just turns me into a bitter, horrible person. I want to be happy when a friend announces their pregnant but its so bloody hard!

@J1990 wow are all those bloods from your gp?! I have literally had day 21 bloods and they said they wanted them on day 21 despite not ovulating until much later this month. They won't even repeat them. They are just passing me to fertility clinic which will be a number of months. Ridiculous really. That's good you're getting all that!

Ah I've tried evening primrose tabs too. Literally rattling with all the tablets!

Yeah I know it's due around that time due to luteal phases being that rough length. It's basically fathers day it's due. Got period mothers day this year. It's like the gods are laughing!

I've had to set alarms to have sex at 530am in order to make the window. The majority of my sex life is not fun. One of us is normally tired due to the shifts. I'm held on quite often and he is called out from on call often too. Literally all work and no play. I want to change jobs or move within work but can't until pregnancy happens. Pregnancy and a child would solve so many work issues and we would actually see each other more often. We have 3 days off a month roughly. It's pretty dire. Wouldn't mind if I loved my job but I do not in any way!! Haha. What is it you guys do for work?

You can be envious just not jealous. That's what I say. You're happy for them but would like what they have and will work towards it but otherwise jealousy isn't as productive. That's my justification!!

Do you or any of you others @rosiej95 @Amy259 @AZ1992X have siblings that have struggled or found it easy? I don't have so can't compare in that sense

@J1990 yeah CD3 I believe is best! I’ve got a phone consult next Wednesday with my gp where I’m going to request that set of tests too, it’s similar to the one the acupuncturist showed me. Fingers crossed she books me in on my next cycle - annoyingly the phone consult will be on CD3 and can’t imagine they’ll squeeze me in that day so I’ll have a cycle to wait.

Yeah, I’m always amazed by the dtd efforts of Rosie - there’s no way we could go at it every second day all month, it already feels so mechanical sometimes. It’s hard after long days at work to get yourselves in the mood when you both know that ordinarily (if you weren’t in fw) it would be the last thing on your mind 😂

@Loops01 I’m an only child too, but my parents did have to try for 16 years to have me. About 6/7 years ago I spoke to our old family GP about it all and he obviously couldn’t go into detail about my mum/dad but told me whatever issues they had aren’t known to be genetic. My mum doesn’t like talking about it, she gets quite emotional as I had a wee brother 6 years after me who never made it home from hospital and it’s all linked, so I haven’t asked for details and they don’t know we’re struggling (neither set of parents do). If it ever got to the point we had to tell family, I’d probe her more but I’m certain she would’ve told me if it could affect me, and as I say our family doctor was really reassuring. Can’t help but wonder though!

@Loops01 yeah from my GP. I havent even spoken to them but did an enquiry online & this is the next step apparently so seems like they are on the ball... I think I will call to double check when to do the test. Can't you ask for another GP or has that ship sailed now you've been referred? So annoying!

Eugh I know! And every cycle that comes around, you think what event you could announce your 12 week mark on. I'm just not bothering to get excited anymore.

That sounds so stressful, I'm sorry. It doesn't help when people say "it'll happen when you least expect it" Easier said than done...

I also hate my job! :D I'm a temporary worker doing some legal work (did qualify as a solicitor but realised I didn't want to do it anymore). So the thought of not having a permanent job/maternity pay does stress me out a bit but don't really want to wait any longer! Husband is a tax advisor. What do you both do? :)

I like that approach :)

My brother had to have IVF for his 1st, 2nd conceived naturally (their odds were really low so got v lucky) and my sister conceived her 1st within 4 months and 2nd IVF after 3 years!! So on the one hand I'm hopeful it will happen some way, on the other hand it makes me worried I will have to go through all that too. Especially as they couldn't find anything wrong with my sister or her partner to explain secondary infertility. Very frustrating!

I’ve got a few siblings @Loops01 , only one has a kid - she had a unplanned pregnancy but that was a long time ago now. Suspect another one may be trying but not sure. 🤷‍♀️

@Loops01 I'm the oldest I have quite a big age gap with my sister so have nothing to compare it with either.

@Amy259 haha! I will be honest tho I just really enjoy it 😂
Even before we were ttc we dtd a lot 😂🙈
Haha might change When we do have kids🤷🏼‍♀️😂

@rosiej95 believe it or not so did we before all the TTC nonsense 😂😂

@J1990 I forgot to say - the acupuncture woman told me that her mentor refuses to work with veggies and vegans because it can be a really signficsnt reason why women can’t conceive... so unless they start eating meat again she doesn’t even see them!!

@Amy259 haha saying this tho it obvs doesn't work having loads of sex either 🤷🏼‍♀️
Cause 11 months in & still no bfp. 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

Also quick question How long should you wait before taking your opk results pic?

@rosiej95 I know, I feel like we’ve tried absolutely everything now. Just soy to go, which I’m oddly excited about 😂

I just wait until the background is completely white, so no pink left except the lines. I’m sure the tests say like 3-5 minutes but it’s more like 7+.

Sorry I've been really busy lately with cat, work and DH! Just been really emotional. Last night in work I felt AF due as felt bloated. This morning I wake up to AF. So luteal phase of 10 days. Need to improve that somehow - anyone have any clue?

Hope you're enjoying the new tests @rosiej95?

@Amy259 when are you due? Any clues go lengthen my luteal phase? I mean I know people still get pregnant with it. Its definitely been longer before the last 3 cycles!

@AZ1992X How's AF? Is it normal for you or longer/heavier?

@J1990 how are you getting on today?

Morning @Loops01. 10dpo here and bfn, plus feeling quite pre-af so expecting her on Monday as predicted!
Are you trying soy now? I’d be reluctant to add anything else this cycle (to try to lengthen luteal) if you’re adding soy, because then you won’t know which one causes any changes? Plus if it’s normally longer, I wouldn’t rush to change much after one cycle? But that’s just my take on it!

Had an argument with DH the other night, we were going to bed and a mutual friend of ours announced her pregnancy. I knew it was coming, they got married 2 weeks after us (so early September) and she had said to me beforehand they weren’t postponing because they wanted a family pronto. It hit quite hard because that’s the exact reason we didn’t postpone again, and now they’re 14 weeks along and we’ve got nothing to show for it. Anyway, I made a comment about “wanting it more than anything” and his somewhat insensitive reply was “maybe that’s the problem!”. I could’ve sobbed! And I’m not a hugely emotional person, but that one hurt. We haven’t talked about it yet as he’s been out at work crazy hours so I haven’t even really seen him, but we will - it’s like he just doesn’t get it sometimes!!

Anyway, there’s my Thursday rant 😂 hope you’re all having a good week so far!

@Amy259 I'm sorry to hear that! If you have until. Monday there's still time I guess but I know it's not helpful saying that when you don't feel confident.

DH and I are the same. We married early because we wanted to start earlier. I actually didn't want to get married in the end as I would have rather had family earlier. We started before we married in Oct. I'm actually thankful in a sense for covid because it meant that we didn't go on that big honeymoon he wanted that had zika and I didn't want it because I wanted to be pregnant... Although clearly made no difference!! My DH is very inward. So I am vocal about ttc with friends and family. He's only told his mum that it's taking longer than he thought. That's it. One of his friends has kids but they are typical guys and don't speak about issues only football! I think he secretly blames me because he knows his sperm analysis was great and we still aren't pregnant. He never really asks about cycle. I handed him a pregnancy test 2 days ago (the easy@home ones) and he was like what is this? A negative ovulation test? I told him to Google as I sat and smiled. He then said 'it's a pregnancy test' after 10 mins. I was like yeah. He's like is it positive? I asked him to Google. He said again after 10 mins that it was negative. I said yeah. He was like OK well I'll just put it in the bin then.

THAT WAS IT! It's like SHOW YOUR EMOTIONS. I cried all night as he slept normally. Tried to speak through it but he just goes quiet and says he'll try better. You said that cycle 5 and I still see no improvement.

We deal with things very differently which is normally really good but not for this. Hehas little involvement other than sex. His family are always positive (which I'm not) and they basically don't speak about negative things. I think that's why he is like this. It's like just research.

So yeah I feel you. It's not you're fault. You want it and you're doing something about it. It's never easy and you need endless support. I go to friends or just you guys really! You're doing a good job! I mean it - I clearly know more that your DH so this means something 😉

@Amy259 he may have just said it out of frustration? :(
I don't think they understand just how much our body wants something.
Also the whole symptom spotting & how our body feels it really doesn't help :(

@Loops01 finding the new tests pretty good actually 🙂 I don't think I was leaving them long enough to settle at first. did one this morning & it was 0.5 last nights was 0.48 does that mean it's getting higher? (My maths is rubbish)

Hi ladies!

@amy259 good to know about the veggie point. Not sure I agree though, what do you think?

@loops01 sorry to hear AF has arrived :( my luteal phase is around 10 days too but I'm trying not to worry too much about that. Soy isoflavones seemed to do nothing to bring ovulation forward & it looks like 10 days is OK but any less might be a problem. If I'm still unsuccessful I may try agnus castus. What are you thinking of doing next?

I had a meltdown yesterday after another friend announced she was pregnant but I'm feeling more positive today.

@rosiej95 sorry if I'm being thick but what are all these numbers for opks? Is this using premom app? I thought it was enough to have a darker line than the control line but is there some sort of maths we have to do?

I really hope those trying soy have more success than I did. I kind of regret taking it as think it's held me back. I used it for 3 months and got the worst ovulation pains ever which I thought was a good sign but nothing came of it. I was reading up that you really shouldn't take it if you ovulate/your cycles are regular as it can mess up the progesterone levels in the second half of your cycle (or something!). I don't think it does any sort of permanent damage though so worth a shot - just thought I should share my experience with it.

My 2 pet peeves are people telling you you need to stop being negative (as if it's my fault I'm not pregnant yet) and "you're stressing too much, just relax and it will happen".

Fingers crossed for us all soon. Maybe we are meant to have little summer babies :)

Hope everyone’s doing ok!

@Loops01 sorry that AF has arrived ❤️
My AF is probably heavier than my normal cycles but too early to tell if it’s any longer yet - although normally on day 4 It’s really light by now and it’s not slowed down yet. Only good thing is don’t have any pain at all.

Let’s make this cycle the one! 🤞

@J1990 when and how much soy did you take? I think Amy or someone did say to me that it may delay ovulation. My cycle was 36 days this month. My app is saying its irregular so I'll try them for 3 months/til finish just to see. Not much else left to try!

@Amy259 i think I'll try a progesterone cream in my luteal phase to see if it makes a difference. Apparently you don't get much in a tub so it won't last too many phases! Only thing I've heard is that if you get pregnant then you need to keep it up/get some sort of progesterone from Dr otherwise you risk miscarrying because your body isn't producing enough to hold it.

@AZ1992X that is sounding good!! It's nice to be in more sync with folk this month. This will be the month!!!!

@rosiej95 yeah those numbers are quite good! It is normal for them to go up and down, everyone is different. My friend has very low then gets maybe 1 0.5 reading then she's peak the next day. I can have low and highs then you see the tests slowly getting darker and peak comes! The app is normally pretty good! I use flo as well. Have been using that for a year maybe and it is really good at predicting AF but premom is normally good at predicting ovulation.

@Loops01

I bought some off amazon but it was a random 80mg which was annoying. First 2 months I gradually increased each day from 80g, starting on cd2 to 200g, the 3rd month I just did 200g each day starting cd1 which wasn't the best idea. I had to measure out the half doses too so probably got a bit more than 200 😳

There are so many success stories though that it's worth a shot!

@J1990 thank you! I will give them a go. I've not much left to try. Hear of so many people saying things work but then I try them and they don't but would rather try than not. Sure you're the same. I do like the fertilily though. I've found it comfortable enough and it helps keep the swimmers in! But again so many people use it once and sorted. Try a vitamin and sorted! 😂

[quote Loops01]@J1990 thank you! I will give them a go. I've not much left to try. Hear of so many people saying things work but then I try them and they don't but would rather try than not. Sure you're the same. I do like the fertilily though. I've found it comfortable enough and it helps keep the swimmers in! But again so many people use it once and sorted. Try a vitamin and sorted! 😂[/quote]
Yeah, why not! Have you started yet? What days will you do? Yes, I'm exactly the same! Although this month I'm doing eff all except taking Pregnacare & laying on my back 🤣

What the devil is fertility???

Fertilily is like moon cup basically but its to stop the good stuff from falling out and it pushes it closer to the cervix. 😂. I will start it on cd3 I think. For a few days. Think I'll just try 100mg to begin with then see what happens. Cycle is all off so anything to help get it back to what it was pre vaccine would be great! Even my apps have no clue what's going on!

@Loops01 @rosiej95 yeah I know that it all takes his toll on him too, but he keeps telling me to think about it less, mention babies less, not to tell him of pregnancies etc and I’m a bit like... hang on, you’re basically telling me I’ve to just bottle it up? Also “think about it less”?!? PLEASE 😂😂 if he can figure out how to do that, he’ll be a very rich man.

@J1990 I’ve tried agnus before - it didn’t do anything to my cycle but it did massively reduce my PMS symptoms, which was lovely. I did a bit of research on the veggie thing - there’s arguments to both side, which did surprise me as I expected it to be untrue, and both sides do agree it reduces sperm volume, but that’s not an issue here.

I’ve got regular cycles so I am a bit worried the soy messes me up but I feel like I need to do something!