TTC 35+ Thread 6 Cougar and Silver Fox Club

[M4v3r1ck]

Hey ladies, setting up a new thread! 😃 Hope it works! 🤪

@thislittlebird I did read somewhere on a forum once that the first time you test with a reader, it gives you a blank because it's a benchmark for it to test for rising hormones, but I imagined that was a bit overly intelligent for such a simple bit of technology and surely it was just reading the darkness of lines on the stick itself. But apparently proved
that was the case when I used the new reader mid-test cycle! This is just the purely stick-based purple CB, rather than the one with bluetooth and app!

@Pamparam @thislittlebird I think that's right regarding the 4-day CB opks; the first use of the month just takes a benchmark.
But, if you happen to use it for the first time when your LH is surging, it will give you a static smiley right away.

Keeping everything crossed for you @MgW1 I so hope it's good news for you x

@thislittlebird did your af arrive? Mine's turned up today as expected. On to cycle 12 🙄

@Kitekat81 ugh, sucks. Not yet for me, nope. I’m getting very twitchy that it’s not here because its tardiness usually leads to me being even more disappointed. I am patiently waiting.

Or maybe I’m not really that patient

Hey ladies, just catching up! Hope you're all having a good week! 😃

@MgW1 omg so much 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 for you!!! Please keep us updated!!! 😃

@Sleeeeeepy urgh I'm sorry to hear that! Hope the antibiotics are kicking in! Sending you much love! 😘

@DawnWW glad you're getting a scan via BUPA! Any update on that?

@Misty84 welcome to this lovely group! You're in good company here! The TTC process is so mentally and emotionally exhausting! We're always here for advice, a chat, and a rant! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 for lots of healthy sticky BFPs this year! 😃

Booo to the AFs!! That's me on CB now and still waiting for a high/peak - feels like I'm testing too early, but still can't help but feel anxious! Also, as someone said earlier, shocked that you need to get a new reader/pack every time!

@thislittlebird
When will you test?
@M4v3r1ck is this your first cycle post mc ? X

Not sure @MgW1. Whenever I’ve been late and tested before it’s been negative so I’m just going to wait it out and see what happens. I’ve been full of PMS symptoms for days now, so it certainly feels like it’s imminent.

@thislittlebird
Well i tested again and BFN and then realised I had purchased a Rapid result test and not early response so im sitting it out now , feel like my AF is pending xx

Interesting - you’ve made me wonder which tests I have now 🤔. When were/are you due? @MgW1

@thislittlebird
Not until Saturday!! I know im testing too early really! The Rapid result is only accurate on day of missed period . X

Yeah give yourself a few days @MgW1 and try then. I’m dreading likely waking up to AF tomorrow morning, just have that horrible feeling that it’s due. Fingers crossed AF will stay away 😬

AF did not stay away. I think it’s been 12 for us too @Kitekat81. Tired of this shit.

Sorry to hear that @thislittlebird :( It is totally shit isn't it. I know that hormones will be contributing to my mood, but I'm really struggling this week. I have no idea if we'll ever manage to get pregnant. I haven't seen most of my friends and family or been able to do most of my hobbies in nearly a year. My life mostly consists of my bedroom, kitchen and living room, with one outside walk a day and a weekly trip to the supermarket. I'm really struggling to stay optimistic. I know it is shit for everyone and don't want to be a downer on the thread. Just having a bad week :(

It’s really the most shitty thing @Kitekat81, I completely understand. I don’t want to be a thread downer either, but I’m struggling today. Those feelings are all entirely familiar, the fear it may never happen is overwhelming sometimes.

I don’t feel very optimistic either today, but I guess I’ll feel better in a few days when AF has passed. I’m the same, stuck indoors (I work from home) with nothing but a jigsaw and my own thoughts mostly. And it’s snowing so I don’t even know if I want to go for a walk if it’s still icy .

I also hate the way my body feels like it’s tricking me. Just when you think you know all your PMS symptoms some “new” ones pop up. Oh and I was temping, and my temp dipped at 9dpo and went back up and up again. It got my hopes up that it might mean something. I’m not gonna bother temping this month, it was too anxiety inducing in the last week for me.

@thislittlebird and @Kitekat81 it’s so rubbish. I was invited to a virtual baby shower yesterday; I’ll go but I’ve archived the chat for now, just can’t face looking at it!
Another friend told me “Try not to stress”...uhhh guess what, having fertility problems is stressful! No clue... I’ve archived her as well 😂 My answer to everything!!
I’m on Cycle 19 now, it’s relentless hope followed by disappointment each month! One day it must happen, surely?!?

Oh ladies, I wish I could give you all a hug. It’s so unhelpful when well-meaning friends offer up the same old platitudes, but I promise I believe you will all be alright. Fertility is just a roulette wheel and - whatever number you’re given - it’s just a matter of time before the ball lands on you! (Fnar fnar!) It’s like learning how to play the system.

But don’t think about the non-pg months as “failures” try and re-frame them as data collection. Every month you learn something new about the behaviour of your cycle/moods/symptoms and every bit of that data will prove invaluable if you need medical assistance achieving your pregnancies. Track everything.

Feel like I might sound patronising and I promise I don’t mean to, it’s just the best silver lining I can come up with to reassure you these endless cycles are not wasted time. And I genuinely believe that data will ultimately help get you all to find that missing jigsaw piece.

As a side note I’m new to this and has no idea about EWCM until this month so tried to dtd at the right time but think we might have missed it. Even if I succeed in achieving another BFP I am accepting that the stats suggest I will be looking down the barrel of another MC (at 42), so this game is all about holding strong.

Chin up.
Tits out.
ONWARDS!

Here we go again, CD4 today after AF arrived earlier this week. I am totally on board with the utter devastation it brings every goddamn month. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, again. But it was what I needed.

I am also turning down invitations for chats with well-meaning friends. I just can't face it. And I've nothing to say. TTC has become my life over the past few months, and we decided not to tell anyone. So I really have nothing to say to them. No news other than being on this rollercoaster.

Thank you @Geriatric1234 for your wisdom, and well delivered too, as it's very difficult to put a smile on my face lately, and you managed it. Love to you all. x

Same @TTCat39. I have told a couple of friends and one doesn’t really know what to say I think, she never found it hard either time she got pregnant. None of my friends have really.

I did speak to a work colleague today who struggled to conceive (her kids are in their 20s now) and I cried on an MS Teams call to her lol. Embarrassing. It just takes over my life and I don’t know how to stop it doing that.

@Misty84 I like your style. Archiving everyone seems like a good plan! It just feels so unfair when other people seem to fall pregnant at the drop of a hat and we’re sat here making no progress month after month after month after month. Ugh.

@Geriatric1234 you don’t sound patronising, it’s fine. It’s good to hear a positive POV. I wish I didn’t need the data, I wish it would just bloody work.

EWCM is a funny thing, some people seem to have tons and others none. No idea what difference it makes but I’m trying to increase mine lol

@thislittlebird The last time I felt anything like this anxiety, obsession, followed by sadness and despair, was when we were buying our house. Every time we found one we liked and could afford we got so excited about it, you have to, can't help but dream of your future there, all for it to be squashed when it didn't happen. It happened a few times until we finally got one. But if you don't invest yourself in it, you can't have truly wanted it. I feel the same about this. I can't help but obsess over it because we want it so much.

Regarding EWCM, last month it seemed to come and go, with a day immediately after AF,accompanied by a negative OPK. Then again at CD11, when I got a positive OPK. I can only conclude from this that I have no idea what I am doing

Yeah I know what you mean @TTCat39. I’m definitely obsessed (more so the longer this has gone on really) and it’s so crushing every single month. When we were house hunting for this place we got rejected initially and it was devastating and then in the end we ended up getting the property because the owner liked us. But I think it’s because it’s tied to our futures, and they just feel in limbo with no certainty while everyone else’s futures keep moving.

That’s a weird EWCM pattern for sure

Oh ladies, I really feel for you. I too am struggling and feel utterly depressed with life at the moment and I am not dealing with fertility issues... yet. I realise sympathies would be very low considering I already have one, but part of me wonders what the hell I am doing getting into this game now when i found it hard to deal with miscarriage and struggles last time round and that was when life was normal and fun! Really keeping everything crossed for you for this month.

I already had a primate cry this month when partner wasn’t in the mood either the day before OR the day of my positive opk. Finally managed it the day after positive but that may be too late and only one shot in a cycle is never good odds.

Private* not primate. Just imagining crying and pounding my chest like a gorilla now 😂