TTC after miscarriage

[lamby12]

Hi just wondered if anyone had any experience of continuing TTC after miscarriage. I had a loss at 5/6 weeks recently. The bleeding has now stopped (about 3 days clear) and I'm starting to feel back to normal physically. Emotionally I'm gutted as we have been trying for so long and a few close relatives who know have said we should wait a while to recover emotionally/physically.
Whilst I agree, I've also read that you're most fertile after a miscarriage and it's taken 18months of inconsistent ovulation/low hormones for me to get pregnant. I don't want to miss what could be an increased chance when my odds are low ordinarily.
The hospital said I should wait until a normal period for dating reasons only, they said nothing about risk of infection or complications getting pregnant straight away. I have no idea when I would ovulate (if) now.
Any experience out there?

@dippyegg32 @tealchoc Welcome to the group ladies, so sorry about your losses.

@dippyegg32 are those the onestep OPKS? I never ever use to get a decent line with them, then I switched to easy@home OPKS and they are SO much better. I used to also use the premom app, but then I started getting some really dodgy notifications from them so I deleted it! I use fermometer now to track opk progression and fertility friend as my main app.

@AmyFr glad your AF is bit better now!

@SG121 omg congratulations!!! Fingers crossed a sticky bean for you.

Thank you @CookieMonster3001 that's really helpful. I'm banning myself from more apps for now!!

@dippyegg32 You should upload the test to the "others" category.

Hi ladies how are you all doing? CD5 now and AF almost done.

Emotionally, though, I feel like I’m trying to hold myself together and failing. I don’t know if it is lockdown on top of this - it really doesn’t help, does it? I just wondered if anyone else felt like this? I don’t really know how to make it better. I’m sure it is a case of each day as it comes, but I’m struggling. And surprised just how much I am.

Sending you all 🤗

@AmyFr I completely understand. CD10 and coming up to fertile window (I think!) and me and OH decided to DTD the other night as a 'warm up' and I just wasn't in the mood and burst into tears. I just feel so frustrated that this has happened. I was already pregnant, so why do I have to do this all over again? Lockdown definitely doesn't help as I think because we aren't able to do much, its all we end up thinking about.
Yesterday my sister announced her pregnancy and it broke me, I would have been 12 weeks next Friday.

Its hard, but I am trying to be positive and know that we will be able to get through this and have our rainbow babies.

Big hugs!!

@CookieMonster3001 I’m so sorry. It is shit. All so raw, and so difficult with your sister being pregnant too. My best friend is currently 13 weeks and I find that really hard too.

I think you are right - I also know we will get through this. It is just such a difficult process. It feels so unfair to have already been pregnant. It would have been perfect timing for me with maternity leave as a teacher so it’s weighing on my mind too, the pressure of sooner rather than later. Although I miscarried when I had Covid so I think I will be really scared of being ill again...

I just feel tired, and crushed. It is hard, isn’t it?

I’m glad to have this thread. I know you get it.

🤗 🤗

Hi @AmyFr & @CookieMonster3001 sorry you're both feeling a bit rubbish, I can totally relate and have been feeling the same the last week.

@CookieMonster3001 sorry you're having to deal with your sister announcing her pregnancy, that is really difficult. It's like a sick to the stomach feeling when someone else announces isn't it. Everyone I know (feels like) is having a baby in May and the closer it gets I'm dreading it.

@AmyFr sorry you're feeling so down. I've been feeling a big the same this week, I'm glad this thread has helped you. I've kept off it a bit recently to try and stop obsessing in general but it's good to know there are others who know how we feel.

I was ok during ovulation time but as soon as TWW started I'm so delicate and frustrated. I'm only about 4 dpo but it feels like weeks. I had this news recently about the low AMH (2.7 a basically desperately low) so I don't feel hopeful that it will have happened now I know this. But at the same time I have to test as early as possible to get some closure each month and stop the waiting.

I have to wait until I've had day 1-3 blood tests when my period comes before the private consultant will see us about the full picture of results and next steps. In some ways I just want that to arrive now so we can get on with it.

I am really trying to keep busy because like you a keep getting in a hole of we did this already, got pregnant, why are we back here?! It's so hard.

Because of the AMH I now feel like we've lost what was a miracle chance and might not happen again, maybe ever. It's really difficult not to get bitter. I've started to tell myself this week the only options are to get very sad, bitter and depressed or keep going, move on, look forwards. So I'm trying to do the latter, as the first won't make me feel any better. I'm trying to think of it as a choice rather than not being able to control how I feel. But I still keep dipping down into feeling horrendous. I don't know if that makes any sense?!

Hope you're all ok. X

@lamby12 I’m so sorry to hear you’ve also been feeling low and keep dipping into feeling horrendous. I think with any grief it often goes like this - you have highs lows. This is how I am trying to make sense of these feelings. It is so difficult. Sometimes crying helps though. I actually feel a bit better this morning for having felt so awful last night.

The waiting is the worst - I hope the next week goes quickly and will be crossing my fingers for you. Hopefully you will have some answers from the consultant (or a positive test) but it must be so hard stuck waiting with everything going on in your head (and the world - I feel like we are waiting to get back to normal!).

Have you found anyone else with low AMH who might know what they do and have success stories perhaps? I suppose this is where the internet is helpful - someone out there has some kind of similar experience. Not the same, but when I had a rare neurological illness (ADEM) as a teen, I found someone else across the world who also had it. Years later I visited her.

What are you doing to keep busy in your time off? I need a new hobby for the evenings other than eating 🤦‍♀️

🤗

Good Morning ladies

@lamby12 I am sorry to hear about your results and that you are also feeling low, big virtual hugs. Everyone always shows the positive side of TTC on social media and in general that it never really prepares women for the tougher side of it. TTC isn't as easy as they make it out to be and it sucks! I really hope you feel a bit better soon and that you hear some success stories from others who have been in a similar situation.

@AmyFr how are you getting on? Hope you are also feeling a bit better.

I have just finished reading a positive motivational book and it really has helped me feel a bit better. I also got my Peak OPK yesterday and this morning which has made me feel more optimistic as it means my cycles have gone back to normal. Me and OH have been DTD the last 2 nights and will do it again tonight for good measure then its only the dreaded TWW. I am feeling cautiously optimistic about this month ( I probably shouldn't) but it is making me feel better!

Fingers crossed.

@lamby12 would IVF be an option? I have low AMH (I can’t remember the number) but when I last spoke to our consultant he said that he’s successfully treated women with AMH of around 1. I’ve been through IVF twice so let me know if you have any questions.

I’m trying to decide whether or not to apply for a job. I’ve had a rough time at my current one, and a new role has come up and a good friend thinks I should go for it (it knowing about us TTC). I have a three month notice period at my current role, but then I’ve put off going for a new job in the hope that is get pregnant, and ended up getting stuck in a job that I really dislike. It’s so hard to know

Ive not been on here that much. Ive still had no period since mc bleeding on the 9th jan. Would you test some point this week?? Last week i had twinges for 2 days.

Also ive had sharp pains today in my vagina area, anyone know what this could be? Xx

@CookieMonster3001 yay to peak OPK! I hope the TWW goes quickly for you. Optimism can’t hurt. I am hopeful this month too - not fertile until Wednesday at the earliest and due to ovulate next Monday...

What book did you read?

@Absy that’s so difficult to decide. Nothing stops you going for it to see how you feel - it can’t hurt to see if you will like the new role, people, etc, and you might find out some of this in an interview. I guess the thing to think is if you do conceive, what will it do to you financially with maternity? If you can afford to take the hit and survive even if you didn’t get your current maternity package, it might be worth it.

@Emmav2020 I think I would test - did you have a negative result after your loss? If it isn’t positive, it might be the hormones took a while to come down so your cycle isn’t completely on time. It hasn’t been a huge amount of time for everything to regulate. Hope you find answers soon!

I am doing a bit better thanks - actually owning that I am not ok and that it is ok to be sad has helped me. I feel very fragile though. But then most people I speak to seem fragile currently!

@Emmav2020 I would defo test just to be sure!

@Absy that is a hard decision! do you know what the mat package is like in this new role? Also you have to decide how much you currently hate the role you are in! I would apply for it and see how it goes! If you get it, then you can think about the pro's and con's before you accept or decline, but if you don't apply, you wont know!

@AmyFr glad you are feeling better, I know what you mean, just being able to openly talk about how we are feeling has defo made me feel better as I feel like I have no one other than OH to talk about in real life and keeping it in me was tearing me apart! Everyone is going through a tough time at the moment for one reason or another and lockdown certainly isn't helping!

The book I read was Good Vibes Good Life by Vex King, he talks about how we are all surrounded by vibrations and we attract good or bad things depending on whether we are omitting positive or negative vibrations. He basically says if we think positive, we are more likely to receive positive outcomes and visa versa, he also talks about how to deal with certain situation and how to feel good about yourself. I would defo recommend it.

I got another positive OPK yesterday too, was darker than Sundays so now I am a little confused about my ovulation day...this morning my OPK was still dark, but not positive. Prior to MC my LH surges were always really short, they used to come and go in one day, so its the first time its gone on for this long! We DTD Sat, Sun and Mon and I am hoping I ovulated yesterday or maybe this morning? Don't have any more energy to BD anymore, so its going to have to do! Fingers crossed.

@AmyFr @CookieMonster3001 Ive ordered some first response tests from amazon to come today. Ni i never took a text for a nagative after the misscarriage. To be honest i dont think i could do any more tests. by then i was sick of peeing on sticks, blood tests and scans. its been over a months now since the bleeding and there are no signs of AF coming at all. will let you know how i got on x

@Emmav2020 i has ERCP on 7th December, it took until 16th jan to get a negative test and then a period on 23rd jan. felt like an absolute age

@CookieMonster3001 that sounds like a good book to read now.

And OPK timing is still fab so I wouldn’t worry! I always get two days.

@Emmav2020 hope you get on ok. @dippyegg32 that is so long. I felt like two weeks was an age.

@SG121 how are you getting on? Thinking of you too and have fingers crossed all is well.

@AmyFr hello lovely sorry I haven't been on here in a while. All ok here - I'm trying to relax and think positive - I don't feel so nervous this time around though which is nice. How are you doing? I've read through previous posts and saw you're a teacher? Me too! So I definitely get the timing thing. Are you primary or high? I'm in year 4 x
@Emmav2020 I would definitely test - I finished mc bleeding around the same time as you and I had a positive test last week. Were you tracking your ovulation days? X

@SG121 positive pregnancy test? No not been tracking, i just couldnt face peeing in sticks again and tracking it all. Had no motivation at all the last month, lockdown isnt helping. We just kind of if it happens it happens. X

@Emmav2020 yeah BFP! We decided to just try this month and I tracked my ovulation so I know I ovulated around 2 weeks after I finished bleeding so it’s definitely worth testing. My friend miscarried last year but it took her cycles longer to get back to normal and she didn’t have a period for about 8 weeks x

@SG121 omg huge congratulations. When did you find out? We have dtd quite a bit since mc bleeding stopped so must have done it around ovulation at least. I can nirmally tell as my sex drive goes up quite a bit. I have everything crossed for you xx

Quick question, shall i test tonight when there delivered or first thing in the morning?xx

@SG121 oh that’s good! Yes, I always find I am online more when I’m stressed / anxious so it is good you’re not on! Although do share the positives too.

I had my daughter October 2018 (due September but she was two weeks overdue) and it was great timing. I went back for the inset days in September before I started maternity to wrap up results, etc l and then I did the same at the very end of term in the summer to end maternity. In hindsight, I should have gone longer in September as I got bored waiting around, but I was convinced she would be early... I was so thrilled to have another September baby for number two; sadly, it wasn’t to be. Fingers crossed for November now....
I teach English at secondary school, mostly teaching Years 9-13. How are you coping currently with lockdown in primary?

Do share the positives as they come. Hopefully we will join you soon with a lucky month! I feel a bit more optimistic today... 🤞

And good luck @Emmav2020 I think your approach makes so much sense. It is such an exhausting rollercoaster of emotions trying to conceive and that’s without loss on top.

@Emmav2020 I know I always say I will test in the morning but never have the willpower. Perhaps do a long hold, unless you feel you can wait. The morning will be most accurate either way, so I know I would probably do both 🤦‍♀️ but I am too impatient always. Even for bad news it seems as I took one after my mc too early too 🤦‍♀️

@AmyFr @SG121 i have so much more respect for you teachers. I have an 11 year old son in year 6 and hes testing me at the moment. Wish it could all go bacj to normal now.

I really couldnt face tracking everything, esp with my son at home, me working 5 hours a day at home, on top of the misscarriage aswell my company were making redundancies aswell. X

@Emmav2020 thank you so much! I took a test 8 dpo (way too early) and it was a negative and then tested 11dpo and had my BFP.. took the digital test too which told me I was right with timings etc so I'm now 4weeks 4days so still really early. I'm the same as Amy I would say tomorrow first thing but I'm too impatient and would do one tonight and one tomorrow just try not to drink loads before if you do one tonight! Fingers and toes crossed for you x
@AmyFr that is lovely timing that you had with your daughter - before I even thought about TTC I was always wishing for a Sept-Dec baby but now after TTC I didn't even care but as a teacher the timings are more convenient. It's okay I'm glad to not be in school because of the risks but I'm finding online learning hard now- hard for me and hard for the parents! First lockdown I had so much motivation and loved online learning but this time around I'm just a bit fed up. We don't have to do live lessons so it's just setting work. How are you finding it? Must be more tricky with your daughter at home? I've got my fingers crossed for you for November and it's fab that you're feeling better today - sending lots of love to you x