Pre-conception, planning and trying!

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

Third thread here we go...

@CookieMonster3001
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I've started a new thread for us, tag people I've missed.

💘

I just read the last bit of your message as well @CookieMonster3001 I can really see how it does end up feeling like a chore.. I feel like I had these expectations of us DTD all the time, but like you say, work is tiring by the time we've logged off, had dinner and cleaned up I'm dozing off by 10pm.

I think you once said that your DH said he prefers morning sex, mine is the exact same so we've been doing that! I'm going to follow your 'Wednesday and Saturday' pattern and throw in some sexy lingerie in between but yeah.. I feel you!!

Haha yeah only feels like a chore on a weekday tbh, weekends are so much better as we are more relaxed thats why really hoping I go back to ovulating cd12 as then that falls next monday! We been so busy with work and both studying as well that by the evening we are shattered and tbh even in the morning its too much cus we would just rather sleep lol, doesnt help that OH needs an hour on the bog each morning so need to factor that into timing too.. he was like if we did morning sex during the week he would literally have to wake up at like 5am haha.

Tonights just a warm up so hopefully we can keep it fun and playful!

@CookieMonster3001 @sunflowersaremyfav93 wow good on you I’ve only been married since November and no energy for lingerie I am pyjamas and fluffy socks 🤣🤣 but I have really low libido and have done for a long time, not good when trying to get pregnant! Not good in general I guess. The big snack a jacks chocolate chip flavour are so good and satisfying and low calorie compared to a chocolate bar you should try xx

@Potterurotter I am the same, since going on the pill and then coming off it, my sex drive has completely dropped. Conceive plus lube has been my saviour whilst TTC as I just find it takes me forever to get ready enough to DTD. I know it doesn't really help you get in the mood, but I just pretend (I know that sounds bad) to not put OH off, and use the lube to get me ready enough to DTD, usually by the end I get into it!

Last night was pretty good tbh!!! Not sure if you guys remember me telling you that OH struggles to keep it erect enough during the week due to the fact we just don't usually do it that often. Hes been using the maca root for about 3 weeks now (lost count) and I don't know if that's what made a difference, but he was much more into it yesterday and even said to me he felt more in the mood! and without going into TMI territory but he was pretty solid the whole time! Hopefully it continues and isn't just a one off lol.

My sister announced her pregnancy today and sent pictures of her scan and I was a complete wreck, think I cried for about 3 hours and have a right puffy head now! I would have been 12 weeks next Friday! :( I am praying this month is our lucky month.

@potterotter I’m not sure how often is ‘normal’ but I’m happy with one a week tbh but yeah that’s not ideal with making a baby!! So now I’m aiming for twice a week and everyday during fertile window but I’m yet to see how we manage during the fertile window!

@cookiemonster3001 your comment and DH needing an hour on the loo made de die 😂😂 what is it with then in the toilet in the morning?!
Ooh I hope it continues for you as well!

Oh Cookie... I can’t even imagine you you must feel 😞 that’s so hard, cry it all out, feel all your emotions and know that you will get your BFP soon. It will be you announcing your pregnancy soon. Xx

@CookieMonster3001 😔 I feel for you. It's so hard, you're happy for the person who is expecting but absolutely utterly crushed that it's not you 😭 Big hugs! Fingers and toes crossed this is your month xx
Good news about your successful DTD 😉 long may it continue!
No chance for morning sex here our 2 boys are early birds and we get woken with loud, little voices rather than anything else 😆
I always used to have a low libido but since coming off the implant I can't get enough 😉🙈🤣 DH is getting worn out 😂
Annoyingly though I'm on CD11 and I'm still bleeding 😩 it's actually really getting me down 😭 I'm feeling very low!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 thanks lovely! I feel much better today. I started reading a positive thinking book yesterday and trying really hard today to just be as positive as possible and live in the moment rather than try and rush all the days away! It says if you will something to happen and think as positive as possible about it, it attracts positive energy and good things will come.
No idea why he spends so long on the bog, and then he's confused when I need a number 2 and i'm in and out in 5 mins! haha

@Kayeyeem oh yes a house with little ones isn't conducive for morning sex haha. That's such a long bleed! Have all your periods since coming off the implant been this long? Or have they all been all over the place? I have to admit, I think I got quite lucky with my cycles going straight back to normal after coming off the pill. I have heard so many people say how it took them a while for their cycles to settle down! Really hope your bleeding stops soon.

Anyone got anything nice planned for this weekend? This month I have been taking part in a step challenge for February with the aim to get 300k steps in and it really has given me a kick up the arse to move around more!! Hopefully the weather stays decent and I can go for a couple of long walks this weekend. Just also finished binge watching Tiny Pretty Things on Netflix, need something new to watch!! Any recommendations?

9 dpo and I have some pinkish tinge when I wipe. Does this mean AF is going to come early?! 😫 app says I've got 6 days to period!

@Wowthisisreal It could possibly be implantation 🤞🏼

@CookieMonster3001 No my other periods have all be fairly standard in duration but were fairly short between cycles. Thankfully it seems to have ended today 🙌 So I'm back in the game 😁 Just DTD as apparently I'm right in my fertile window and don't want to waste any time 😂

No plans this weekend except walking the dog and cooking the turkey we brought for Christmas but never had as plans changed 🤣 oh and might try to get some child free time as this week has been stressful with the lovely little darlings 😩
Well done on all the walking!
I've just finished watching White collar which was really good. Oh and Bridgerton which I binge watched in one day it was so good!
Have a good weekend everyone 🙂

@Wowthisisreal yep defo sounds like it could be inplantation

@Kayeyeem yay glad its finished and right on time by the looks of it!! Me and OH tried DTD this morning and half way through it went flat. Hes really frustrsted cus he doesnt know why it happens. Gonna try again later!

Ohh i loved Bridgerton (didnt think I would) cant wait for season 2. Not watched white collar though, might give it a go. Somebody recommended the movie 'The Dig' to me so might give that a watch tonight. Turkey sounds good!!! Im making chicken kievs tonight!! Not had them in years and fancied making my own!

@CookieMonster3001 Oh no! Is he putting too much pressure on himself to perform, knowing how much you both want a baby, do you think? My DH had a problem not long after we got together as I was his first and he said he wanted it to be perfect but he put too much pressure on himself which resulted in him struggling to get erect or maintain it if he did manage. Eventually he got over it after we took the pressure off and just had fun getting to know what each other liked, trying different things and just spending lots of time kissing and cuddling. I know it's a different situation but maybe get back to basics and make sex fun again, not a means to an end.
Not heard of The Dig might look it up. We're also currently watching Sherlock as missed it when it was on BBC, it's good so far.
Ooh chicken Kiev's 😋 haven't had those in years!

Hi all. My partner and I discussed back in June about possibly trying for a family soon. However, I had work commitments (working for NHS so been crazy) so we we decided to wait. Last night he was saying we have so much on atm as we are renovating our house. However, I’m 35 now and i’d like to start. How can I start the conversation with convincing him now is a good time? I’m worried he will say no. He knows I’m not on the pill now but currently we have been careful with timing sex around not being in fertile window. Advice please!!

Hi can I join please?

First month TTC our 3rd baby, currently 3DPO (I think).
I had the Mirena coil removed just before Christmas so still getting to grips with my new cycles.

I didn't have any problems conceiving in the past but I'm now nearing 38, it was 9 years ago when we conceived my youngest so I'm worried that all my eggs could have dried up and/or hubby could be firing blanks (he's 44).
But we just really want one more whilst we've hopefully still got chance.

Hi @NewbieB Oh it's such a hard one isn't it!? Have you had a serious conversation about it with it? Like actually saying look this is really important to me and I want us to sit down together and discuss the pros and cons of waiting. I can only speak from my relationship but I don't think men really understand it properly.. how long it actually can take to conceive, how age can be a factor, all sorts?
I think I'd sit down and have a really serious chat about it and help him understand how much it means to you and how long it may take. Im a list person, I wrote things down. My partner was the same it took me a while to help him understand it all fully! Keep us updated and good luck!!

Hey @Magnum99 and welcome! Have you read Luisa Zissman's blog? It's called Maybe baby and she speaks about a supplement that's meant to help improve egg quality and is particular good for older women TTC .. I'm by no means saying you're old btw 😂 but you know what I mean!

@CookieMonster3001 Ooh are you reading The Secret?
I actually think it's quite common.. I think we underestimate how much men feel the pressure, I'm finding all this TTC stuff much harder than I originally thought making a baby would be. I plan to also get some baby dancing in today... feels like I bloody scheduling it though!!

@Magnum99 I forgot to add - with men, they're constantly just making fresh new sperm (lucky them) so if you're worried it may be worth looking up super foods for sperm.. For example lycopene (might have spelt that wrong) is meant to be good for sleep, so that's in tomatoes and watermelon. Apparently Brazil nuts as well.. I was making my OH eat all kinds of stuff haha. I also bought him the male vitamins that Luisa mentions on her blog. This is our first proper month TTC so fingers crossed.

I did DTD around ovulation last month and am tempted to test but I think AF is on her way actually.. I can just feel it. Roll on next cycle!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 thanks - that’s a great idea, thanks. It’s coming up to my fertile few days (according to flo) and I have bought ovulation sticks. I think I will have the conversation tonight when he gets back from work if it seems like the right time. We also don’t have sex very much atm due to work and being so tired and getting out of the habit tbh. So don’t want him to feel pressured but at the same time, can’t just secretly know i’m ovulating and still have sex with him. Just want to remind him it can take a while to get pregnant (if we even can), harder when we are older plus it takes 9 months to grow a baby anyway so will be a long time to prepare regardless. I just worry about missing our chance.

@NewbieB Exactly, I had to constantly remind my OH that it actually takes 9 months to carry the baby and that's without how long it takes to conceive.. it can be up to a year?! We just sold our house so we have all that on as well and part of me was like are we adding extra pressure by TTC but it could just take ages and I know I'd really kick myself. Things always work out.. that's what I keep reminding myself anyway... it'll all work out. If he's a stat type person I'd throw some stats in there as well 😂

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I may throw some stats around. So are you guys actively ttc currently? Ok- another question if he agrees maybe we should “see if it happens” then (which I think is the best I can hope for rather than the excitement which would be nice) then do I tell him when i’m ovulating and let him know i’ve been monitoring it or is that just totally off putting/unsexy and just go for it?

Happy Saturday ladies. So im just coming into my fertile window. Have to say I'm feeling the pressure! So I'm tracking my cycle on the my tracker app and and am supposed to ovulate next Thursday. I am going to start using OPKs from today. So we DTD this morning so should I wait now again until Monday and then try for every day next week? I have to say I don't find this fun at all!! But needs must...so much have sex and you'll be pregnant!!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 thanks no I've not read that blog but I will look it up. I'm currently taking vitamin D, Folic acid, vitamin C & zinc and I've got blood tests on Monday to check I'm not deficient in anything.
At the moment I've got no reason to believe that there's anything wrong with either my eggs or DH's sperm but I made the mistake of googling about fertility over 35 which put the fear of God in me. But my friend has since told me that the figures on Google are outdated and not a true representation of what is going on in modern times amongst healthy western women, so trying not to worry too much. Plenty of women have perfectly healthy pregnancies and babies at my age.

@NewbieB my advice would be to just do it - there will never ever be a perfect time to have a baby. We've wanted another baby for years but put it off due to work, money, family stress etc but what this pandemic has taught us is that we'll cope with whatever life throws at us, the most important thing in life is family and making the most of the time we have on this planet and just doing what we WANT to do, rather than what is most sensible.
I'm sure there will be people who will think we're crazy to try for a baby right now, my son has special needs which is stressful and I've recently started my own business whilst also doing a temporary job on minimum wage whilst I build my business up.
But on the other hand - we can offer a baby a secure family who love each other, a nice home and SO much love. And that's all that really matters x

@sunflowersaremyfav93 yeah, i agree. Thr pandemic has certainly showed that. Not sure it will ever seem like a perfect time but I know we both want kids, can afford it, have our home so seems like a good time- it could take ages!

@NewbieB I suppose every guy is different, my hubby definitely wants a baby and is in it with me 100% but he has said he wants it to feel natural and that he doesn't want to feel like I'm just having sex to make a baby because "I'll feel used"
I'd love for him to want to share the stress & excitement of when I'm ovulating etc, maybe he will if it takes a while but for now he's happy with regular sex and then finding out if I'm pregnant or not each month.

@Magnum99 ah interesting. Does he know you are keeping track of ovulation etc?