Pre-conception, planning and trying!

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

Third thread here we go...

@CookieMonster3001
@lollipop87
@bells3032
@thenewmrsM
@curiosity101
@AMS19
@butterfly5291
@clouless
@gems05
@HeyDW96
@kittyT30
@Pebbleinthesand

I've started a new thread for us, tag people I've missed.

💘

@CookieMonster3001 Glad to hear you're feeling better and everything has evened out for you 😊. Definitely don't feel bad for being a bit jealous, it's completely natural.

I've not contacted the midwives yet no. I was planning to wait until I'm 5-6 weeks gone first. So next Monday at the earliest. 🙂

@Curiosity101 I'm planning on waiting too to 6 weeks too, I have it in my head it might jinx things

Which is ridiculous!

Glad to have you back @CookieMonster3001 I'm glad everything is ok and you can try again when you are ready, you are absolutely not a Bad person re your sister, that's a completely natural reaction, you would have to be made of stone XX

@wrensandrobins To be fair, some midwife units won't take referrals until at least 6 weeks pregnant. I guess it's about balancing case loads 🤷.

I'm putting it off for the same reason as you though. It's not very exciting anyway, all that happens is they'll give you your date for your booking appointment.

@Curiosity101 I still mostly feel like I'm not actually pregnant and that it's all a pretend 🤣

I think that's why I can't stop peeing on tests

So nice to hear from you @CookieMonster3001 - doesn't make you a bad sister at all!! Even before I read that sentence I thought to myself I'd be hating hearing it from my sister. Completely natural!!
I can't wait to start TTC....it's been a long old wait!!

@Curiosity101 @wrensandrobins glad you're both doing well. Curiosity- your HCG levels are looking stronger? Remind me how far along you both are?

How's everyone feeling about lockdown #3 now? It did occur to me that it's likely to still be either lockdown or similar if I get a BFP straight away.

Also whilst I'm here something has been on my mind which I'd like some advice please. I woke up to let the pup out last night and typical anxiety it pops up in my mind and so I couldn't sleep.

So I used to live in Hertfordshire, now I live in Kent. Because I had cancer a few years ago I've been a bit naughty and not told my GP of my change of address, I just wanted to stick with the doctor that knew me and my consultant as well. I only live 50 mins away from my hometown so it's not super far and we're actually putting the house back on the market in March after 2 years of living here because we want to be near my family when we have a baby. So I always thought I'll be back soon anyway and won't need to change.

But now I'm thinking what do I do when I fall pregnant if I'm still living here? Should I change and then change back again? My gynaecologist said to email him and arrange an early scan and so changing my address would effect that too? I guess he'd refer me?

I'm not sure what I should do? Do I just wait until I actually fall pregnant and get to the stage where I need to have appointments etc? If the house of going on the market in March I'm hoping we'd have moved by July/Aug.

Sorry that was so long, it's just been on my mind

@Curiosity101 I am 4+5 today did my last pregnancy test today but it looks like the last one so I think I have reached the limit of how dark a frer can go :)

@sunflowersaremyfav93 sounds a bit awkward negotiating your doctor situation if it's not on the market yet, it can take such a long time and things are even slower at the moment. My friend put her offer on a house in September and they haven't exchanged yet! I would be tempted to leave it for now until you fall pregnant or could you register as living at your parents until you move, if they live in the right area?

@wrensandrobins I'm still registered at my parents, I never registered my current address and it's not been a problem up until now. But now I'm thinking if I need scans, early scans etc there is a hospital about 10 mins drive from my house, I should register where I am now. I'd also not like if the gynaecologist sent letters to my parents house and my mum started asking questions. I think we'll be similar to your friend? My friend sold her flat and had the same issue ... it took forever.

I'm 4+1 today and my IC this morning is the strongest I've ever seen. 14DPO on the top, 15 in the middle and 16DPO on the bottom. Feeling much more comfortable now. Now I'm back to dreading the 6w mark as that was when I started getting really ill last time.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I wouldn't worry too much about where you're registered until you fall pregnant. Your first midwife appointment won't be until 8 weeks, although in your situation I don't know if it'll be different but I'd be surprised if you need an appointment before 6 weeks pregnant.

When I moved house I tried to convince my GP surgery to let me stay registered as I was only 4 miles away but they said it was to do with home visits. As they can't do home visits outside of a certain radius. I asked if I could just opt out of home visits 🤣. They said no. I bet it's a little bit to do with making sure they're not overwhelmed by patients too, cause they might be if they've got lots of people choosing to remain there that have moved out of the immediate area.

You can move during pregnancy though. And throughout my pregnancy I saw... 3 different community midwives, 2 different consultants and many many hospital doctors and midwives. So long as you keep on top of your notes and care, I've found it doesn't matter exactly who is 'in charge'.

@wrensandrobins Great news about your tests!

@Curiosity101 Ooh I am so excited for you!! Have you/will you be telling anybody before the 12 week mark?
Ooh that makes me feel soooo much better!! The gynaecologist said to contact him at 6 weeks for an early scan but you're right I think this is a 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it' situation. Hoping it will all be ok and it might take me months to fall. Classic me worrying about nothing. 😂

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I think we're all natural worriers by the looks of it 😄. So you're in good company!

We've told a few people. Just very close family and friends. Also my manager and DHs manager at work because we're all really close at work and it's a really good company. They've even introduced a new maternity benefit where they pay you additional leave if your baby is premature. So in my case with DS I'd have gotten almost 7 weeks additional full pay from when he was born and would have had total leave of 12months + 7 weeks. It's such a load off to know that if the same happens again this time that we've got that extra support.

I have told 2 close friends- I'm terrified of telling my boss, i have only been in the job a year, I think I will definitely wait until the 12 week mark- the only thing is we are a project based charity and if she starts proposing bids that rely on me working I will have to come clean or I will really stitch up the charity.

I'm desperate to tell my mum but my partner wants to wait, so we have said we will hold off until 7-8 weeks, seeing her for a walk tomorrow so will have to try not to blurt it out. I'm thinking about doing something cute to tell her, but I don't know what!

I would rather tell my boss face to face than over the phone but with wfh looking likely for the foreseeable I can't see that happening. I expect it will be like ripping off a plaster- all anticipation of pain, and pretty painless

I'm really afraid of losing the pregnancy at the moment, I think it's because I have started feeling really attached, I'm trying to focus on one day at a time but time is going very slowly.

@wrensandrobins We're doing exactly what you described and are waiting until the early scan before telling family.

I think I feel the same as you. I daren't get too attached just incase, but at the same time I really want to enjoy this pregnancy and assume the best. 🙈🙉

Morning ladies!

Annoyingly I got a letter through the post today about a midwife appointment. Luckily we have an online portal so I was able to log in and cancel it without having to speak to anyone!

I have also weighed myself for the first time in 4 weeks and I have put on 10lbs!!!! I am hoping much of that is water weight but this week I am going back to fasting twice this week. Not going to stick at it long term as I don't want it to effect TTC but hopefully it can strip some of the weight off quickly. I forgot how much I hated black coffee!!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I had a feeling the lockdown was coming! My sister had messaged me in the morning saying that the ICU she works in is totally full of covid patients and that they are at max capacity, really scary thinking about it! I am much more anxious about it this time over the last peak as it seems much worse but I do also feel Xmas probably made things worse! Me and OH never really leave the house apart from shopping and exercise so not much will have changed for us, but I am very concerned as people seem to be getting it much quicker and I know quite a few people with it now for the first time since it all started! In regards to your GP, I would probably register to your current address when you fall pregnant so that you are not changing it unnecessarily. As @Curiosity101 said you probably wont see anyone until 8 weeks and you may also not fall preg straight away (fingers crossed you do though!!).

@CookieMonster3001 I bet you're right and a lot of that weight will be water weight! Good luck with fasting! It's a means to an end to quickly drop a bit of weight 👍☺️.

I weighed myself this morning and was shocked to see I've actually lost 0.5lb ?!? I reckon it's cause I've stopped drinking. So I'm 10st 9.5lb today. 🤔🤷 I'm happy with that, although of course I'm not trying to lose weight right now.

@Curiosity101 you lost weight over Christmas and New Years?! Did you do it correctly? I think I ate about 5 mince pies a day lol.. well done you though!! Honestly you have done an incredible job with your weight loss!

@CookieMonster3001 Thanks 😊 it definitely was hard work.

I feel like I did Christmas/New year right... I could've sworn I ate chocolate and/or shortbread every day for 2 weeks. And we binge watched the Mandalorian and Vikings... I was literally gob smacked when I weighed myself this morning.

Aww... Mince pies. My absolute nemesis. I must've eaten at least 2 boxes over the Christmas period 🤤.

I was talking to DH and I think a bit of it is that I underestimate how much I move now that DS is mobile. I do a minimum of 10k steps a day. So I think cutting out alcohol must make a huge difference. I do also wonder if my thyroid medication is helping?

I put on 8 pounds between December and January- I am already obese (just)

Now I'm pregnant I'm concerned I will become huge! I'm going to talk to the midwife about how I can keep my weight gain to safe levels, obviously I know now is not the time to go on a diet but I'm sure I can keep a lid on it and not let it spiral

@wrensandrobins I was pretty much the same weight I am now when I fell pregnant with DS (overweight for my height). You don't actually have to put weight on for quite awhile. Consider all the people with HG who go on to have perfectly healthy babies. Your body will make sure you nourish the baby first. And even a full term baby with all the placenta, fluids and your additional blood volume probably only weighs 13-14lb extra.

I've just checked my past weight.
April 2019 10st 9.7lb - 3 months pregnant
June 2019 11st 0.4lb - 5 months pregnant
July 2019 11st 1.3lb - 6 months pregnant
September 11st 11lb - 3 weeks PP 🤭 I put on a good few lb after having him. I literally are none stop and it was all junk food! 🤣

So don't worry if you don't put weight on/don't plan specifically to put weight on. You and the baby should be fine so long as you're eating healthy and taking your prenatal.

Oh gosh, is your sister a nurse @cookiemonster3001 ? I def feel more scared now than I did at any other time during this pandemic. We don’t leave the house either, only for a dog walk and to go supermarket which we really try to limit. Yeah, after speaking to you ladies and thinking about it properly I think that’s def the right thing to do. Spoke to my OH too and we agreed that he’d obv want to come to scans so rather than having to book a whole day of work we’d want the appointment near us and when we move I’ll register again and give birth at a hospital where we move to. My SIL said she saw a diff midwife at every appointment she had so I don’t think I’ll be missing out on much.
Fasting sounds great, my colleague swears by it! The weight will fall off but agree it’s most likely water!

We’re not TTC yet, we’re doing the withdrawal method and I don’t know if I’m just symptom spotting without even meaning to but we DTD quite a lot leading up to ovulation and in fertile week (anyone else so horny when ovulating?) and 3dpo I had terrible period like cramps and nausea I napped it off and spent most of Sunday in bed and today I had some brown discharge and felt a bit lightheaded? Would be a miracle if I was PG after withdrawing but thought it was weird to feel like this. Def wishful thinking I think but I did think it was weird.

@Curiosity101 @wrensandrobins glad to hear everything seems to be going well :)

@MayDay27 I’m pretty sure everything I have read about exercise is okay to continue what your body is used to as long as not too strenuous :)

@CookieMonster3001 I’m so glad to see you back and to hear you are feeling better! Thank you I’m hoping to get some kind of a pattern soon as it all just looks mad to me currently wish I had started in July when everyone suggested it and I still was convinced I would get a BFP first cycle lol! Good for you on the dry jan how are you finding it? That will be nice to have a few days off in feb. You are 100 percent not a horrible sister I would feel exactly the same and do everytime a friend gets pregnant. Be kind to yourself what you are feeling is totally normal. Sending lots of love x

I am sure that the weight is mostly water weight! I didn’t realise dieting impacted ttc but the more I read the more I realise it does. I’m going to stick on my diet as desperate to lose as much weight as possible and if it happens amazing if it doesn’t then hopefully when I reach target of my healthy bmi it will :)

@sunflowersaremyfav93 that’s a good idea re the docs :) Omgosh imagine if you were! I would be doing exactly the same still symptom spotting :)

So ladies question for you probs with TMI but there we go... so yesterday I had EWCM and flo says I am due to ovulate the 9th so that would make sense up to 5 days before hand. However my temp is still changing daily and I have had no signs of a positive opk. Is this normal? The fermometer app where I have been temping and doing the opks predicts the 12th as ovulation and I feel like I know nothing all over again haha! So I don’t know whether to start DTD all the time from today or from later in the week when I get a positive opk. Totally lost lol! I feel like gone are the days of just DTD when I feel in the mood and crazy as it sounds it’s almost like ttc has stolen the mood from me haha Xx

@mackjm20 I find it all so confusing but if your app is saying this is the start of your fertile week I'd go at it every day haha!!

@mackjm20 my opks only change about 1-2 days before I ovulate and go peak on the day I ovulate!! Don't give up!

@Curiosity101 I do think alcohol makes a massive difference! I don't drink much as it is, I think my problem is I don't move as much now working from home and I will be super healthy during the week and the weekend I seem to fail and eat junk! I was 9st 8lbs about 4 years ago, and now I am around 11st 10lbs!! (Well more now after Xmas gain!) Although I weighed myself this morning and I have dropped 5lbs of the 10lb gain which is good!!

@wrensandrobins try not to worry too much, just stick to being healthy where you can. My sisters first pregnancy she was so sick in the first trimester that she actually ended up loosing weight, and so after the birth, she was only really a few lbs heavier than her pre-pregnancy weight anyway and as @curiosity101 said, you don't actually need to gain weight during the first few months from what I read.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 yep she said its crazy!! The weird thing is, she has been offered the vaccine and she says they say there is a few slots available but then she says people working in A&E are yet to receive the vaccine! Seems a bit higgledipiggledy to be honest! I originally lost about 60lbs doing the 5:2 diet, so I defo swear by it, I have just become a lot less good at following it! I was supposed to fast yesterday and was doing so well until around 6pm and then I ate a twix and a dairy milk lol. I used to use the withdrawal method too and honestly we had a few iffy moments.. don't forget pre-cum is a thing!!

@mackjm20 I did feel like opening a bottle of wine yday after the day I had back at work but resisted!! I think you can have fertile CM in the gear up to ovulation. I tend to get watery CM a few days before ovulation. As soon as I start seeing fertile CM, I would start DTD (I try every other day, don't have the energy for everyday lol) and just keep an eye on your OPKS. If it helps, I have had watery CM for the past day but my OPKS (I know I said I wouldn't do them!) have still been fairly low. My estimated OD is Friday 8th Jan and because my LH rises really quickly I imagine I will start to see something tomorrow and Thursday...although my temp shot up today which really threw me off, but I am thinking my BBT is probably going to be a bit erratic.. either that or I ovulated super early... who knows!! My motto though, if ever in doubt, just DTD anyway lol.

@sunflowersaremyfav93 Haha, fingers crossed for you. Accidents do happen...

@mackjm20 I'd take the EWCM as a sign and assume it'll be in the next week. I'm similar to @wrensandrobins in that my OPKs went from stark white to positive within 24 hours and I got EWCM around 4-5 days prior to ovulation.

@CookieMonster3001 That's great news, definitely sounds like mostly water weight then!