Wanting to start a family but scared of being judged

[Dex1521]

Hi everyone, me and my fiancé are wanting to start TTC and have a family as there is an age gap of 19 years between us (he's 41 im 22) and so my other half wants to start now (and so do I as I feel ready), however im scared of being judged for being a "young mum".
Im 22 however im much more mature than my age, ive graduated from university and have a full time job, we also are buying a house in the new year and we are engaged but I know there is a lot of stigma around being young and pregnant. The baby would be born into a financially stable loving family, I know my sister will be over the moon but I have very old fashioned and opinionated mum and auntie and I feel if I dont have their support its going to be really hard for me. We have also moved to England from NI, reason im mentioning this is I dont really have the support circle of friends either as they live all over the UK so my mum and auntie are important too me.

Any advice please and would be interesting to know your opinions on young mums too. Thanks x

[uglyface]

@GrumpyHoonMain That’s not the intended point of my post - I have been careful to say that there is no power imbalance in our relationship, and that the fertility issues were on my part so nothing is clean cut either way. I wish someone had shared a similar story with me when I was 22/23/24. I don’t know what I would have done differently, but it might have helped to see that not everything goes to plan, and that includes the potential longevity of OP’s relationship.

[Bluntness100]

There’s no need to scare a 22 year old girl into potentially having kids before she’s ready by going into them

Ugly face that’s exactly how it reads, and then you doubled down on it.

[Ineedaduvetday]

You'd be foolish to have a baby with a man without being married when you have no established career or support circle.

[Bouncytree]

@Dex1521

I wanted to say that there was a 26 year gap between my mam and dad. They were the most in love couple I have ever known. My dad was 50 when they met. He was 54 and she 28 when they had the first of 5 babies in 6 years. I was brought up in the most loving home. I am from ireland too, and in the 70s it was so incredibly religious and conservative.

You have every right to have babies with your partner when you choose to and not be judged.

[HeddaGarbled]

I wanted to say that there was a 26 year gap between my mam and dad. They were the most in love couple I have ever known. My dad was 50 when they met. He was 54 and she 28 when they had the first of 5 babies in 6 years. I was brought up in the most loving home. I am from ireland too, and in the 70s it was so incredibly religious and conservative.

Fortunately, opportunities for women have improved since then.