Nov Bus 20 - CD1 can suck hairy b*lls

[Juno231]

Come join us on our TTC journeys - all you need is a sense of humour!

Bus history:
June - 24 BFPs
July - 11 BFPs
August - 18 BFPs
September - 4 BFPs
October - 5 BFPs

Upcoming testing dates:
@Juno231 - October 26th
@hrps - October 27th
@dsr87 - October 28th
@runnergirl1 - October 28th
@clairey844 - October 30th
@lilacflower12 - October 30th
@notyetamumbuttrying - October 31st
@2alreadywantanother - October 31st
@katao - November 1st
@BellsB1 - November 1st
@2020mission - November 2nd
@Florence13 - November 2nd
@Joanna1009 - November 5th
@nestinginNL - November 18th
@missgoldilocks - November 20th
@Hopeful110 - November 22nd
@Franklydear - November 22nd
@mrsbear1122 - November 28th

@Vil10 sorry for the late reply had a super busy day yesterday. No I haven’t heard of that paint, will look into it. But yes I definitely love that colour.

@2020mission sorry to hear you had such a rubbish weekend.

@Juno231 sorry your out, here to support you along with all the great ladies on this thread.

@Skip86 so sorry to read your post this morning but sending love and hugs your way.

I’m not sure about writing this but feel I also need to vent somewhere. My and my OH were at it daily if not more last week but on Friday we didn’t because I was tired. I went to bed but then got up about half an hour later to grab a drink and found him watching porn. Now I just feel gutted, sorry just felt I needed to tell someone and have nobody in real life.

@Florence13 thank you and thank you for your kind words yesterday as well! As for your OH, that would really hurt me too! I can understand him watching porn but not if you're in the flipping house and there as a real life alternative?! Did you speak to him about it at all? Honestly, men... It's making me wish more and more that we were a planet of just women instead 😅

@Juno231 thank you for replying. I’ve spoken to him but we just end up arguing and when I ask him why he says he doesn’t know. Then he admitted he has been doing it for the last eight years of our relationship. I just feel so hurt and betrayed.

@Skip86 oh I'm so sorry!! Reading that made my heart hurt for you!! Never feel like that, you can share anything on here!! I really hope your OH just needs time to think about everything and process it all and hopefully he'll come round! Did you tell him this morning how you felt once he said he didn't want to try anymore? Sending you lots of love, we're here for you❤️

@Florence13 that would piss me off too!! I don't mind my OH watching porn at all, but not when I'm in the house!! Did you speak to him about it?x

@Vil10 yes I have spoken to him I think the fact we are TTC makes it feel worse because I was right there. He didn’t even try anything with me. But the fact we have a really good sex life makes it feel worse that he chose porn over me on Friday.

@Florence13 jesus so you two have lots of sex and then he watches porn on top of that? Doesn't that sound a bit like and addiction? What happens when you've had a baby and can't have sex for 6 weeks and then will be far too tired to do it daily?

@Juno231 yes and that’s what I’m worried about. And I’ve tried to explain that to him. But I mean we have it at least once a day if not more. The worst part is I was on the depo for a good part of our relationship so I didn’t have any periods either and he was still doing it. He said he just watches other women but I almost feel more hurt by that.

@lucyrp I would take the high temp as a positive, my base was a lot lower than yours and so was my peak, but mine did shoot up later on, the first few temp after ovulation were quite low for me. If you have an account I can imagine all of your data will still be there. If not you have a screen shot and can just add the temps over the last month in again? 😬😬

@Skip86 😕 your post made me sad but please please don't think about ending your relationship over this. Everything is still raw after your termination, emotions are high. Maybe give your OH some time and he will change his mind. Try not to think of the worse and focus on healing each other, sounds like you are both very hurt at the moment. xx

@Florence13 jeez Im not sure what to say, that would drive me mad. OH doesn't watch porn at all.

@blodyn91 @Florence13 i'm with you on thag. not sure how i'd feel about that. my OH doesnt and has never watched porn, well when he was a teenager maybe but not for a good few years. he's not even keen on watching it together 😬 omg once a day if not more and he still watches it ?! is he mad!

@blodyn91 but it's a lot higher than the others by a huge amount🙈my bbt journey has not been the easiest!😂 il give it aho

@Skip86 darling sending the biggest hugs to you. It's so hard & (I don't want to sound like its any less yearning to those who haven't experienced MC) but I certainly now feel like after MC I now NEED to fill that hole, so I can imagine it may feel like that. I too would feel resentment, I couldn't help it being honest. What did he say when you said you felt the opposite? And did you say "what does this mean for us?" Or was that thought just internal?" You don't have to answer, do you have any mates IRL you can discuss with? We are totally happy for you to talk here, it's a very safe place for all.

@Florence13 my DH watches porn too but not usually wanking off to it & we have a very healthy sex life, often watching it together, often he says "I just fancy watching it then having sex with you" sometimes he's just in the mood for a bit of escapism but he can probably count on one hand the amount of times he's wanked in the past 8 years....men are weird, one minute he could have not been thinking of sex then he could have been like "hmmm I fancy it now but she said she was tired so I'll just watch this instead it's an easier life" is how my DH views it 😋😂mine watches it less since I watch it with him during sex so maybe do that...say why don't you show me what you like

@Sausage1990 bloody gotta have a utility room. We only have a small one now & I wish I had bigger. No garage or loft either & DH constantly means about me filling every cupboard with crap! Storage space is king!

@blodyn91 I know 😢 it is driving me mad.

@lucyrp this is what I don’t understand either just finding it quite hard to get my head around to be honest.

Thanks for all being so lovely and sorry to vent at you all x

@Minster2012 thank you. The thing is I’ve offered to watch it before and have sex and he has been like no I’m not into that.

@Skip86 you too definitely need to work through this, one way or another, surely it’s not the end, you’re always welcome here, and we don’t offend easy, there’s a point to you being here, tracing or not, look how happy we all are to have you back
@Juno231 sorry your dh is being the wrong kind of dick, and my libido is definitely changing the longer I am of the pill, evil thing....
@lucyrp your femmometer is definitely broken, that’s the extent of my wisdom

Alot going on this morning.

@minster2012 that was lovely she offered but understand where your coming from. Just trying is enough to know you did ur bit.

@florence13 my DH wouldn't watch porn too often, we did yrs ago together. He might have a wana if he got none girls days here but thats rare. I'd be worried tho, if hes getting daily and still needing to do this? You need to talk. How often ? When? If this is regular and your having daily sex is this having an effect on his sperm count? Make he needs to speak to someone?

@skip86 😢 heartbroken for you. I think this is means ways sometimes rather than talking.
He sees you getting so consumed and upset by it all he just wants the real u back. I'd take some time, work in your relationship and see how things go. You can work this out.
The emotions us women have for the want of that child, they will never understand it. That why we have them not them. Look after yourself hun. Xx

@Florence13 vent in here and don’t be sorry, god, the amount of crap I dump on you, things I wouldn’t tell anybody...
I can’t help with the porn, I have no idea if dh watches, neither I want to know, I don’t know how I would feel, but I can’t imagine good
I don’t have an utility room as such, but a little narrow storage room, very handy when you are short of space

@Florence13 maybe another chat then now you know he's into it 🤷‍♀️, it def doesn't mean he fancies you less though, or least I take it that way with mine cos he usually says "your arse is better!" Etc!

@Juno231 your OB is being a turd. But often they don't think "there's that much to it" out brains focus on it so much whereas they don't buy things like all the appointments etc fall on us to sort. Hopefully once the SA is out of the way you can both reconnect a bit bit it's very frustrating. Unfortunately it doesn't change much once a baby is here, DH will be like "I'm ready"... "have you packed "DS's bag?....no?...will the fairies 🧚🏻‍♂️do it? Guess not.

Is it @Missgoldilocks OH SA today?? If so good luck!!

@lucyrp do you think the thermometer is broken then or the app? Are you going into the office in lockdown today? Good luck xx

@Florence13 sorry i realised what i said wasn't very helpful after i sent it but what i was trying to say was i don't blame you for feeling hurt i would too.

@Minster2012 i'm thinking the thermometer is broken because i had such a range of temps so i have no idea. yeah in the office on lockdown today xxx

@Minster2012 Not to mention always being the one to initiate FW DTD and tip toeing around getting the days/quantities right as he chickens out so quickly if it's "too much". Plus each time I do initiate it his attitude is to sigh or make flippant jokes about "again?" "really?" and just generally really puts my mood down. I'm so cheesed with him I think a blood vessel might pop.

@Skip86 so sorry to read this this morning. Sending you lots of love and hugs. Hopefully like the others say if you give it abit of time you can discuss things with him. Maybe he needs time x

@Juno231 so sorry about your bfn. I’m 10dpo and tested early, bfn, So will try again in two days but think I’m out x

@Minster2012 the ds bag comment brought so many memories 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️, that’s why we need matriarchal societies, otherwise it’s extinction

Ps you can tell I have the morning off , haha

@Skip86 I'm so sorry your husband has decided this. I don't know what I'd do if mines suddenly took the possibility away from me so completely understand how awful that must feel 🥺

@Juno231 sorry you've not got your BFP this month either. October isn't feeling like a very lucky month around here.

AF is 100% here for me so I'm definitely out. My cycle is so screwed up I'm not even going to note my next date. I think I'll just remain a bus lurker for now as my body is clearly broken

Tested this morning too and BFN but I'm okay with that. No symptoms to spot at all. Not even a sore boob and they would be sore in the tww regardless. Just wish ad would hurry the fuck up so my cycle starts. Over 4 wks since surgical management now. RHR still highter than when I was pregnant. Weird

@2alreadywantanother thanks for the advice think it is fairly often from what he is saying. Guess I should be glad he has started to be honest about it now.

@Franklydear aww thank you hun really appreciate it. Crazy how much support you can get from people you have never met and it mean so much.

@Minster2012 thanks hun will try having another chat with him. Hoping he doesn’t find them more attractive than me. And hoping it is just a quick and easy fix sometimes.