Nov Bus 20 - CD1 can suck hairy b*lls

[Juno231]

Come join us on our TTC journeys - all you need is a sense of humour!

Bus history:
June - 24 BFPs
July - 11 BFPs
August - 18 BFPs
September - 4 BFPs
October - 5 BFPs

Upcoming testing dates:
@Juno231 - October 26th
@hrps - October 27th
@dsr87 - October 28th
@runnergirl1 - October 28th
@clairey844 - October 30th
@lilacflower12 - October 30th
@notyetamumbuttrying - October 31st
@2alreadywantanother - October 31st
@katao - November 1st
@BellsB1 - November 1st
@2020mission - November 2nd
@Florence13 - November 2nd
@Joanna1009 - November 5th
@nestinginNL - November 18th
@missgoldilocks - November 20th
@Hopeful110 - November 22nd
@Franklydear - November 22nd
@mrsbear1122 - November 28th

@lucyrp I hope you can make the argument to do them, at least it will be useful and easier to do without customers in the way.

@Franklydear my best friend isn't in tomorrow either so painting would defo not be fun without her. hoping i can get on the computer with my supervisor as well have a laugh together. stupid covid 😫

@Katao yes I've had 2 chemicals. I do feel like I should speak to the GP about all the random spotting I have and with AF arriving after 20 days now, but I feel like it's not acceptable to book a doctors appointment right now, you know? The pandemic is really holding everything back ☹️

@AmesK sorry it's been hours, we've been travelling in & out if signal! Yes most ppl here know my story but malignant & spreading melanoma first found 10 years ago (I'm 36 now) meant I have been on chemo most of my "fertile" adult life so not allowed to be off contraception. By the time I met DH I was clear but then when talking of marriage we found out it had come back & spread further so married quickly but I had a revolutionary chemo/immunotherapy which gave me my life back but I couldn't stop to try for children. But yes it meant surrogacy our only option& my drunken hen do 2 years before saw my best friend saying "I'm great at carrying children, it's a breeze 😂" 2 years later she was carrying out child in secret ❤️🙌🏻.
But DH has a MAJOR panic. He was fine when we were sat there being told my egg reserve was basically nothing & even the egg retrieval might not work as my treatment had damaged my reserves so much we might have to look at egg donation...but all of a sudden when we were discussing the bits that included him, his analysis, him providing his sample into a pot in a sterile room & handing it to a nurse & hearing the results he melted. He's got 2 other brothers, he's the eldest, and a younger sister who got pregnant easily. What if it came back that he had a problem TOO? We know I'm faulty but him?!! but also we had to make a baby in a lab...not just that, but I think it came home that we wouldn't have much part in it. All IVF isn't like that of course, for most it's still fully involved but for guys it can be very scary & a lot of guys we know who have been part of it had the same fears they had to get over - "it shouldn't be like this" no. It shouldn't, but you don't realise for how many people how it is, and fuck it, you pay your taxes. Science is amazing. Let it help you. He likely doesn't blame you at all, is just scared/worried/frustrated too lovely and it's all very understandable xxxx🥰❤️

Sorry fir the essay I feel it deserves it xxx

@2020mission don't be silly! of course it's acceptable to book a doctors appointment right now! even ask for a phone call appointment if you feel silly asking for an appointment? i was going to say something else about how i'm feeling about the whole covid situation but don't want to spark any arguments 😂

@2020mission book the appointment, as someone that goes to the doctor's a lot, book it and do what you need to, the NHS is still functioning for all of us, imho, better than before, now everything is by phone and pre-booked appointment and every tom, dick and Harry cannot set camp in every waiting room

@Minster2012 I never tire of reading about your story, it's fascinating and very heartworming, disclaimer: I am sure was bloody hard at the time

@2020mission don't think like that, you are as entitled to healthcare as anyone else. Plenty of us on this thread have had ttc bloods etc done during the pandemic. I was only ttc 5 months when I went to get checked out because of irregular periods and gp was happy to investigate.

@2020mission I totally agree with everyone else, DEFINITELY at least call your GP but I would try get an appointment, I COMPLETELY agree with @Franklydear (soul sister), it's actually easier to get an appointment currently as most ppl are staying away so best time to do it I think. I've had 2telephone appointments for miscarriage/infertility related things with my GP and 1 about DS & had to take DS in, all I got on the same day I called as they aren't busy here. Like I just said to @AmesK YOU PAY YOUR TAXES

@Franklydear 😘❤️heartwarming yes, hard definitely. Mixture of heartbreaking and elation. We've just seen them today 🥰, she said to me "you know the offer is there" meaning she would try again (I know her hubby isn't keen though) and I said "you know I have to see this through now with the last one we have then reassess, or I will think Ive forever failed & that will eat me up worse"...our own heads are a terrible thing sometimes 😔

@Minster2012 her offer of a second time is amazing, you need to see this through, but after that, if that's the only way, then that is the way

@lucyrp a utility room was one of my "desirable" criteria for a house when we were looking to buy, so when we found this house with a good size utility & downstairs loo it was the dream lol.

@2alreadywantanother fingers crossed you will get your positive before the end if the year 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 I'm hoping for a positive by spring but it took us 8 months to catch last time so it could be closer to September if its similar. We will see what happens.

@Juno231 the windows in the glass are all frosted and the pattern makes it harder to see through so noone can actually see in through them. Ours opens into the windowless hall so we find the windows bring in a nice bit of light too which is a plus.

@minster2012 thank you - I love it. Its been alot of work and more to come but its going to be so worth it. We're creating the home we're going to start our family in so it's a labour of love 😂

@lucyrp good luck tonorrow (today? 😩) with the 1st work day in lockdown. Silver lining is that traffic will be really light because its also half term. 👍🏻

Sorry to all of those with BFN & af 😔 it really does suck. Also the amount of love and support on this thread (always) is just gorgeous! You're all such a gorgeous bunch, I've been here since the 1st bus and I am so so so glad I found you all 💕

Hey ladies,
AF officially in the house here, and OH officially told me this morning he doesn't want to try anymore.
Feeling completely heartbroken. I know I am extremely lucky to have two children already, so I really am so sorry if my pity party offends anyone, but it's just much more complicated than that.
It's my long held dream to have a big pregnant belly, to give birth to a healthy baby, to have the baby on my chest, to breastfeed without needing the help of a machine... it's grieving for a family that feels entirely incomplete and knowing now it always will be.
I don't know what this means for my husband and I. I love him dearly, but I don't know how we move forward from this without being filled with resentment. I wonder if it is the beginning of the end for us.
Today is filled with a lot of confusing thoughts and a lot of tears.

Sorry to be such a downer. I will most likely take myself away from here again - not much point hanging around like a useless old rag eh?!

CD1 sucks some seriously hairy, veiny, sagging, shrivelled little balls.

Someone please help me 😫 went to take my bbt this morning and i think my thermometer is broken 😫i've taken my bbt about 8 times and have not moved in that space of time and this is what i've had. no i'm not ill either so no reason for it to be high like thay. new thermometer needed i think. look at all the differences i've had! the 38.18 was the first temp but i deleted it because i thought oh it's defo jot thag but added it back in to show what's happened
@Juno231 @blodyn91 help please girls 😔

@Skip86 omg waking up to your message this morning. i am in tears for you 💔 you're not pity partying don't be so silly, we're all here for you always and you're not going to offend anyone. i understand that your day and the following days are going to be oh so very confusing and emotional. i don't really know what else to say other than were all here. sending lots of love to you right now 💓

@lucyrp oh gosh I have no idea I'm afraid! That's super odd! Is it the femometer thermometer that you've got? If so have you made sure you wait to take your temp after it's shown you the "Lo" sign?

@Skip86 I'm so sorry to hear it skip. Hopefully your OH just needs some time and might still come round? I would definitely recommend counselling though just to work through this and come out the other end without resentment and anger poisoning the relationship. And you know you're always welcome here, half of our chat is just us moaning anyway xxx

Spoke some more to OH yesterday and I could have killed him. Told him how hurtful it was that he seems to cares so little about ttc and that I have to do all of it and he can't even remember to check in on me or perhaps be extra nice when AF shows. He told me I exaggerate to be a martyr and there's not that much to think about 🙃. And what's the big deal if I have to tell him book an SA or tell him to take his bits, that's not much of an effort on my part is it? 😬

@Juno231 yeah it is the femometer thermometer i have and yeah i always wait until it says lo. i was half asleep when i took the first one and it shocked me because it was 38.18 and it started beeping at me and i was like what it can't be that high. turned the light on and was amazed. my health app on my iphone has taken an average from them all and given me 37.54 so shall i use that ??

@Franklydear how can you DTD too early after AF 😉

@2020mission I've been to the docs loads this year! They've got nothing going tbh. It's not as if your local gp is handling anything corona related!

my femometer app has completely crashed this morning too😫 it says i've ran out of prime but none of the buttons were coming up to actually click on to re subscribe so i had to go onto my browser to do it and i paid and now on the app it's still saying i haven't paid but haven't got the option on there to pay ? and it won't let have any of the conception prediction etc 😩 what do i do so i don't lose all my data ?

@lucyrp tbh I'd be tempted to use 38.18 for the time being and make a note of the 37.54 in case you need to change it over later. The only other thing I can think of is that the changing of the clocks has messed with the reading? But then again was it normal for you yesterday?

@Juno231 yeah it was normal yesterday it's actually been looking pretty good the last few days and was hoping for another high temp this morning ( not this high!) the high one ag the end is the 37.54 but i've been playing around trying to sort it out. all whilst my app has decided it hates me

@Skip86 I'm so sorry, thats so difficult. You are entitled to all your feelings regardless of having other children. I completely understand the want to 'get it right' with another pregnancy/birth/feeding journey. I think when things don't go well it's only natural to want and hope that you will get the experience you hoped for the next time. Please do stick around here if it helps you work through things but we understand if it isn't right for you either x
@lucky I'm sorry I cant help but maybe you need the day off with that temperature .....get you out of painting at least 😉
@Juno231 why should you have to make any effort to manage his side of things!?! Uh he's a grown man, can he not take some responsibility!
And you are not being a martyr.

@lucyrp perhaps just best to mark it abnormal xx

@Juno231 would you use the first temp of 38.18 then ? also have you ever deleted the femometer app then re downloaded if so does it keep the data or delete it all ? i'm trying to fix my app but not sure what to do xx

12dpo and bfn - def out! Cycle 11 must be coming any day now 😬