TTC 8 months in, still early days but starting to feel more and more every time AF arrives

[30somethingyorkie]

Thought I'd start this post as hoping there are some lovely ladies in a similar boat to me.

DH and I are now 8 months in TTC and no luck. We both really want it to happen though he does have a son already so not always as emotional about AFs arrival every month as I am.

I know it's early days still and some have to go a lot longer but I'm now starting to get to the worried/upset stage. Get pangs of sadness when I see a baby bump or something pregnancy related in the shops, on TV or online.

Would love to hear and support others who are in the same boat as me

Hi everyone

How are you all?

Sorry to hear there’s still NO luck on this thread. Maybe we need to start a new one 🤣 lol.

DH and I have had a couple of months off TTC due to my colposcopy which I’m still awaiting results for after my biopsy. It’s been absolutely lovely not worrying about TTC. Genuinely think we may continue with the “not trying” stance going forward. We’re month 15, but obviously a few months off in that time. Had my day 2 bloods done and my ovarian reserve was apparently fantastic! Which is good news. DH is a bit more worried it’s him now, but we’ve booked some holidays and we’re going to relax the rest of this year. If it doesn’t happen by December, we’re going to look into a private clinic for 2022 🤍 I’m feeling strangely positive. I do also meet with a natural fertility doctor which has been amazing x

Lauz Good that you’re clear of the BV but frustrating that it hasn’t solved what’s causing the issues. A referral to gynae seems like a good idea. Are you still having symptoms? The antibiotics are strong so it may be worth using something like balance activ while things adjust.

I think NHS waiting time are going to be screwed for a long while thanks to covid.

Hello Izzie94 hope everything comes back clear from your colposcopy. We had a similar experience when we weren’t allowed to TTC as I’d had the MMR jab. It’s very freeing isn’t it? I was hoping to just take the relaxed approach too but as soon as we were allowed to TTC again I whipped the ovulation tests out

Hi everyone,

AF has just come so I'm now cycle 18.
I keep positive and I will be again, but I realistically feel like it's unlikely to just happen now. How long can you keep upbeat for? My friend has announced, it wasnt planned as she'd only met her partner literally a few weeks before. I won't lie, I've found that hard.
Far worse off people than me I know, but the heartache is just so bad when AF comes. It's not just about that, it's the realisation that it really isn't happening, that the hope is wavering.
Im being silly. But my heart just hurts so badly x

I hope your all okay ♥️

Lovebug You aren’t being silly at all. It feels impossible to imagine it happening. I think I’m moving towards acceptance that it just won’t happen naturally now.

It must have been really tough to hear your friends news. Can you talk to your OH about how you’re feeling? Mine is perplexed why it hasn’t happened but doesn’t have the same anguish about it. Sending love to you - we all completely understand.

I’m 11dpo and just had a BFN. Yesterday the hospital called to offer me the lap and dye operation in three weeks time so need to psyche myself up for that.

Hi girls. AF arrived for me today as well so I'm onto Cycle 16. I have to be honest I'm losing hope that this is ever going to happen for us naturally. I spent most of this morning crying on and off with my husband trying to comfort me. It's been hard.

@Lovebug06 I completely understand your feelings and I feel the exact same. Hope you're feeling better today. I always find CD1 the hardest and feel slightly better a few days later.

@CausingChaos2 I can talk to him, he's been more understanding lately after realising its taking a long time, but I don't think men get it... They don't feel it like us do they?
Sorry to hear about your bfn, but you do still have a couple of days to go so fingers crossed for you.
Its good your hospital have offered you that, it's all a bit nerve-wracking but at least it helps to get answers xx
@acaciabluebell hope your feeling okay. I was exactly the same yesterday. I feel okay now. I just let it out for a day and then I feel better. Bloody hard this TTC isn't it! Lots of love to you today x

We need a boost in this thread. Let's get some BFPs please!!

Sorry to hear AF has arrived again @acaciabluebell
And @Lovebug06 the 1st day is always the worst but don't you feel good for that week then not stressing about FW or in the TWW, I've certainly found it's the easiest time of the month a day after AF arrives.

I've had terrible anxiety recently and couldn't wait for my fertility appointment to come through so ended up booking an internal ultrasound test for £130 and had it on Thurs. They arnt a fertility clinic and mainly do reassurance scans for pregnant ladies. Anyway so I had some reassurance everything looks normal. The only thing the lady said was she couldn't see as many egg follicles as would be expected for my age. Which sent me off on a huge panic. The report said Antral Follicle Count 11 in total. 7 in right ovary and 4 in left. When I googled the average for my age it said 15 and above is good. So got me worried a bit. She's no expert in fertility though so couldn't really give me much information. Anyway, I have decided to stop obsessing over this new information and after reading a few of your girls comments @Izzie94 and @CausingChaos2 I've decided after this month (currently CD11) to have a few months off and ditch the calender and opk and try avoid even counting what CD I am. My DH said it is starting to get to him now seeing me so upset all the time, and he isn't enjoying sex anymore. Think it's really time to properly relax with it. Still a few months to wait for our fertility appointment so just going to focus on my self and get my mental health back on track. It really has taken its toll recently and enough is enough. I really appreciate having you lovely ladies to talk to as I know absolutely noone else in RL who is/has gone through this xx

Sorry I forgot to link them. They have centres all over the UK... www.ultrasound-direct.com xx

Hi ladies, so I was due AF yesterday and decided to test, I had so much cramping the last week so as convinced AF was coming so I’m still in shock. I’m praying this is super sticky!

Hoping for lots more BFPs on this feed

Thanks Lovebug06 and I agree, they don’t feel it like we do. If I ask my OH how he feels about it all he says he’s worried, but he doesn’t bring it up himself. I’m glad you feel a little better now CD1 is out the way x

Sparky I’m pleased you managed to get a scan and everything looked as it should. Definitely don’t read too much into it, things can be different every month so it’s just a snapshot of how many follicles were there this month.

Honestly I think your plan to take a few months off sounds like the best idea and I’d love to have the willpower to do the same. You’ve taken control and got the ball rolling with the fertility referral which is great. I’ll need to avoid getting pg this month (the irony of the ‘risk’ of that) and I’m looking forward to DTD when we actually want to instead of the pressure of timing it. I think you’re doing the right thing and it’s so important we take on board the effects on our relationships too x

Congratulations Msd2416 !

How long have you been trying? Did you do anything different this month or do you think it was just your lucky time?

@CausingChaos2 Thankyou so much!

Yes so we had a chat with the doctor and discovered DH had low sperm mobility and our doctor recommended VitalDha tablets for men we used those and seems to have worked 🙊

@msd2416 a huge congratulations to you! Bet you're over the moon! Which cycle was this for you guys?

@causingchaos2 I think you're right, I kind of told myself this once I got over over initial panic and obsessively googling! Will be interesting to see what fertility clinic say in a few months, as they will probably do the same scan.

Yeah you're completely right about how it can affect the relationship. It's supposed to be a really exciting time! I've got acupuncture again this week which I'm feeling positive about and may book some relaxing massages in over the next few months x

@Msd2416 congratulations!
Is sperm Mobility the morphology? My DH had low on the morphology although his actual sperm count was high. He's had a bit of a panic and now is on a health kick!
If it's the same I may get him some of those! How long were you trying?

I also think maybe I need a break. I did ditch the opks for a very long time but it made no difference to me. I did know around my fertile window obviously. I'm not really sure what to do but I'm drained by it all now. It's such a lonely journey too x

@Lovebug06 No i think mobility is the rate at which sperm travels and morphology is the structure? We was trying for 5 months with a MC and Chemicals thrown in so bit of a rollercoaster!

Totally get that you would need a break i said to DH before BFP that maybe we should take a break even though it doesnt seem a long time the MC etc and all the tracking is all consuming. How long have you been trying? xx

I’ve had a terrible shock this afternoon. The fertility clinic called me to say my AMH has returned a result of 4.2 and it needs to be 5.4 for NHS IVF. They’ve asked me to repeat it but I’m devastated 😭

@CausingChaos2 I'm so sorry hun ❤️ I also have low AMH (significantly low for my age in fact) and I know how devastating this revelation is. 2 things I would say is that:

1. AMH can change from month to month, so don't lose hope.
2. check your vitamin D levels as these can affect your AMH if it's low.
3. Don't Google too much as it will seriously freak you out (I learnt the hard way)

Try not to panic ❤️

Thank you @acaciabluebell I’m beside myself. I’m 30.

I’ve been to have the test repeated but it’s only 20 days since the last one was done. I do have recurrent low vitamin D but it was ok at the last check. You’re right about google, I’m going to have to stop looking, it’s making me feel really ill. Thank you for your message, my OH doesn’t know what to say x

Ladies I am so upset today. I got my Day 21 progesterone results back and they are low AGAIN. I had my first blood test back in January and it was low, but I thought it was a one-off because I hadn't had any ovulation symptoms that month.

This month I actually had ovulation cramps EWCM, and a blazing positive OPK and my progesterone is even lower. I just feel so defeated.

I'm due to be waiting months for my appointment with the hospital fertility clinic. I was tested for PCOS but my bloods came back clear. I just don't understand why I'm not ovulating but I'm still getting very regular periods exactly 12 days after my "peak" OPK. Are the OPKs giving me fake peaks? Ahhh I'm just so confused. Sorry for the rant.

Anyway I've been highly anxious so I've booked myself some private tests, starting with a scan. My first ever scan, it will be internal and during my period so I'm a bit scared/nervous lol. I'm especially nervous to see how many follicles I have because I already know that I have low AMH.

@Msd2416 I'm on cycle 18 x
@CausingChaos2 I'm sorry to to hear that and that your upset. Have you had any other news since this update? Sorry I've only just seen it. Sending love ❤️
@acaciabluebell please let us know how your scan goes. I hope you get some answers. Hope your feeling a bit better now, this journey is so tough x

Thanks @Lovebug06 I was feeling quite stressed when I wrote that last post but I feel much better now.

I had my internal scan on the 26th, I was on CD4 of my period. I was so anxious and scared leading up to it but now I'm so glad I went. Everything was totally fine! I have no fibroids or polyps or cysts. My uterus looked fine and everything was the right shape (I went into the appointment low-key expecting to be told I have half a uterus or something 😂). Also as someone with low AMH I was quite scared about finding out my AFC, but thankfully it was decent (9 on the right, 6 on the left) and much higher than my AMH. Obviously it's still low for my age (they would expect to see 20-25+ follicles as I'm 25) but I was scared I would see less than 5 follicles so I'm really relieved.

For now I'm trying to focus on increasing my progesterone so I've started taking Vitex Agnus Castus. Anyone have experience with this?

@acaciabluebell glad to hear everything went well.
I haven't tried agnus castus but I have heard good things so please let us know how it goes

Lovebug06 Sorry for my late reply, I had to stop myself reading anything fertility related as I was making myself ill with the worry of it. My second blood test came back slightly higher at 6.9 but still low for my age. I was meant to be having lap & dye but the consultant has cancelled it and wants to see me in clinic to discuss the blood results first. So now another wait until next month for that. How are you? Any news?

acaciabluebell I’m glad your scan went well and you had a good AFC. Frustratingly I had an ultrasound a few months ago and the sonographer reported a ‘normal follicular pattern’ but didn’t give any numbers. Did you have your scan done at a fertility clinic?

It’s interesting what you say about OPKs. When I got my first low AMH result the fertility nurse made a comment about there not being any eggs there to do ivf. But I get a positive OPK each month, followed by my period 13-14 days later. We must still be ovulating for that pattern to happen surely?

@acaciabluebell

Ladies I am so upset today. I got my Day 21 progesterone results back and they are low AGAIN. I had my first blood test back in January and it was low, but I thought it was a one-off because I hadn't had any ovulation symptoms that month.

This month I actually had ovulation cramps EWCM, and a blazing positive OPK and my progesterone is even lower. I just feel so defeated.

I'm due to be waiting months for my appointment with the hospital fertility clinic. I was tested for PCOS but my bloods came back clear. I just don't understand why I'm not ovulating but I'm still getting very regular periods exactly 12 days after my "peak" OPK. Are the OPKs giving me fake peaks? Ahhh I'm just so confused. Sorry for the rant.

Anyway I've been highly anxious so I've booked myself some private tests, starting with a scan. My first ever scan, it will be internal and during my period so I'm a bit scared/nervous lol. I'm especially nervous to see how many follicles I have because I already know that I have low AMH.

Hi if you don't mind me asking can you let me know how you get on with Vitex? I too am in a similar position with progesterone and normal periods and have been warned against incase it mucks up my cycle as I am regular. I had a chemical pregnancy and they told me my progrestrone was low . My results on day 21 were 21 what were ures? Xx

@Laurenxx94 Hi, I stared taking Vitex on a random day (I think CD10) so I don't know if it counts as a proper attempt. But I ovulated quite early on CD13 this month. I'm only on 7dpo today so a bit too soon to tell but I'll update if anything happens.

My progesterone on day 21 (7 days past ovulation) last cycle was 22. I've also had a chemical pregnancy recently which I suspect is due to the low progesterone.