TTC 8 months in, still early days but starting to feel more and more every time AF arrives

[30somethingyorkie]

Thought I'd start this post as hoping there are some lovely ladies in a similar boat to me.

DH and I are now 8 months in TTC and no luck. We both really want it to happen though he does have a son already so not always as emotional about AFs arrival every month as I am.

I know it's early days still and some have to go a lot longer but I'm now starting to get to the worried/upset stage. Get pangs of sadness when I see a baby bump or something pregnancy related in the shops, on TV or online.

Would love to hear and support others who are in the same boat as me

Hi Ladies,

Hope everyone's doing ok 💕

I just had my first consultation with the fertility clinic & am being sent for more tests now - including HSG - but can't book that until I'm on day 1 of next cycle.
Has anyone had one of these? I'm a little bit scared 😟

Xx

Hi everyone,
I love this thread, we all go quiet but always come back together again and support each other.

@Izzie94 I'm glad your feeling positive. Your consultation was free? Do I just look up a private fertility clinic? Sorry I have no idea on these things. I'm so glad your feeling better though.
I can't even imagine getting pregnant. I just can't see it. I truly don't get how people just get pregnant after a one night stand or something. How is it that easy? I never realised how hard it can be. I don't think it is spoken about enough really. I agree it has also affected me mentally more than I ever thought, and it's not something others understand at all, so I find talking to people can actually make me feel worse. These threads are my lifeline when I feel down about this. I am cycle 16 too. I had thought a few months was a long time, I laugh to myself how silly I was 🤣
I am 28 and will be 29 when I have a baby if I got pregnant now. I can't believe I may not be a mum until my 30s, nothing wrong with that obviously but I always said as a teenager I'd have one in my early 20s! I thought it would just be so easy.
@CausingChaos2 sending you so much love ❤️ your message has got me because it sounds exactly like me when AF comes, I just feel like I can't do it to myself anymore. But after a few days I feel better. I hope you are feeling a bit better today, or soon. Look after yourself. This journey is so hard. X
@acaciabluebell I can't understand how people do it one time and get pregnant. I'm like how?! I need tips because clearly I'm going wrong here so bloody unfair isn't it.
@sparkylauz I get it about your friends. I just can't be around pregnant friends or I find it SO hard. Then I feel terribly guilty so I feel even worse. I'm happy for them but it's so hard when they have what you so badly want. I find it hard to plaster a smile on and do the whole excited bit, but if I don't do that I'll look horrible so I'm unsure if it's best to meet them or not. I think true friends will understand but others just won't.
I also keep imagining what will I do if I don't have kids. I just can't take the thought at the moment though. DH has children already and I love them very much but I'm unsure if that would make it better or worse if I couldn't have my own. Hope your feeling okay today xx

So news for me is I started up opks again. I stopped last summer due to the stress but dh convinced me to try again so here we are. Actually feel less stressed than expected. Cd11 today and had loads of Ewcm last night. More than I've ever had. Sorry tmi. But hoping this is a good thing. Using pre seed. Didn't work last month but you never know I guess. I'm in the positive phase of the month and feeling pretty chilled, but that'll soon change when I'm waiting for AF in a couple of weeks🤣

Sending you all love. This thread hasn't had many BFPs but we will get there girls x

@JeanieJ sorry I missed your message. Im no use to you but interested to hear this as I think I'll be there soon (cycle 16)
Hope your okay and someone can help you on here ❤️

Thank you Izzie94 and I love your idea of booking a holiday. Very excited for you. You’re so right about not putting things off. It’s easy to put our lives on hold hoping that we’ll be pregnant/ have a newborn, but we miss out on doing lovely things in the meantime.

Jeanie I haven’t had this done but from what I’ve read online it can be quite painful so worth taking some painkillers beforehand and maybe the day off work.

Lovebug06 Thank you and sending love back to you yesterday was my tearful wreck day! Like you say, am feeling a little better today and a bit more logical but it’s such a hard slog. I hope you are okay too. EWCM is a great sign. It’s lovely that we are all here to support each other without the pressure of constantly posting on the thread.

@CausingChaos2 yeah that's what my doc said too - thanks! ☺️ I can see online it's really varied

@Lovebug06 glad you're feeling less stressed on the OPK. I'm actually taking some time off temping for a while as it was only getting me down, and I don't always use OPKs.

Know how you feel about friends being pregnant. I'm currently organising my best friends baby shower - she started trying a bit before me and is 8 months pregnant now. I thought I was fine until our pals who can't come started posting baby gifts to me as a surprise to her- I have to wrap them! It's pretty upsetting 😐

I'm on cycle 10 now and am 33. Trying to stay optimistic, but this month has been the hardest. I've been really tearful in general and irritable with DH.

Sending baby dust to everyone 😘

@JeanieJ hi lovely! Sorry to hear you’re still with us on this journey :( I haven’t had a HSG, but that’s amazing you’re heading in the right direction for your little baby. My private fertility clinic has recommended one if my bloods come back low again next month. I hear it can be a little bit of discomfort BUT, just think how amazing it’ll be if that works and you get your BFP🤍🤞🏼

@Lovebug06 I absolutely love that too! We move at our own steady pace haha. I can’t keep up with the busy threads I love reading them for advice but I struggle to have input so often! So mine was called the “natural fertility partnership” I live in the east now, so I’m sure other areas may have one but honestly was soooo lovely. I feel like a new woman already 😂 follow up appointments are £65, but I’m on a waiting list. They’re all about remedies to conceiving naturally. But they do also support IVF etc. The lady herself took 2 years TTC and she’s so passionate about it I love it! Oh honestly me too, I used to imagine myself with a bump, the nursery everything!!! Now I’m like, ok am I just not ever meant to be pregnant? :( it’s so sad. And really upsets me that all these girls can have one night stands and get pregnant! How’s that a thing????? :( 2021 is going to be our year one way or another!! Oh definitely. I’ve confined in friends before and I get “just relax” “everything happens for a reason” every time. But they don’t understand!!! We’re taught our entire lives if we don’t use protection we’ll fall pregnant. We’ve now all created a perfect family environment and now waiting years to get pregnant! It’s so unfair. I also hate thinking of my age too, again were young but I also thought I’d be early / mid twenties when I had my first! You’re also a step mum like me, and i hate saying it but it’s almost more sad? Seeing your DH be an amazing dad and thinking wow ok are we not meant to have that together / it must be me with the issue. It’s hard!! BUT, sending you all the positivity for this month, extra EWCM = more DTD😍 this could be your month girl!!

@CausingChaos2 honestly recommend it lovely. Even just a weekend away, or something to look forward to! It really helps 🤍 we’re all going to get our BFPs this year, I’m feeling positive for us all!!!! (Until I get AF🤣) xx

Sorry that was long! 🤣 get carried away xx

@JeanieJ wow I think your amazing doing the baby shower. I actually don't think I could, I'd probably cry all the time!
@CausingChaos2 I'm glad your feeling better. I used to try and snap myself out of it and be positive now I just let myself cry all day, it's bloody gutting and so hard and now I just let it all out!
@Izzie94 she sounds lovely! I may look this up.
If I couldn't have kids, I really don't know if being with someone who has them makes it worse or better. I feel awful for this. But in one way it means you kind of get that life you crave, get to look after a child (but also some independence ad they aren't yours obviously) but then on the other hand it would feel like it would be in my face showing me constantly what I can't have. I honestly don't know how I'd cope with it myself.
I really hope it doesn't get to that though. Positive thoughts. Sometimes I just can't help it though.

So started the opks. All good this time. Until last night. Opk had shown it was my ovulation day, earlier than expected. Anyway we knew this and then DH fell asleep. He says oh just wake me up but when he is like that he will not wake up. I was fuming, I feel embarrassed but knowing it was definately the day I just stressed out and I was so mad.
We dtd the two nights before that. The night before yesterday my opk reading was actually higher. I'm hoping I still have a good chance because I feel so gutted right now

Thanks Izzie94 I’m definitely going to take your advice and get something booked. I so hope you’re right and love your positivity would be great if we could all be pregnant by the end of the year!

Lovebug06 I think letting it all out is probably the better way than putting on a brave face. I feel guilty for wallowing the day AF arrived but also like I got it out of my system if that make sense?

Oh that’s definitely the downside of OPKs. You do still have a good chance but I know what you mean. I’d try to get DH to DTD with you today as well if poss. I just think the men don’t seem to get it, do they? I was saying to mine that all he has to do is DTD, but I could end up having all sorts done to me if we don’t manage to conceive. Their job is so simple by comparison!

I remember feeling actual hate for my OH on one irrational cycle when he was too tired to DTD so totally understand you feeling gutted, but honestly you’ve DTD recently enough to still be in with a chance.

@CausingChaos2 I did used to feel guilty but now I just cry it out. I'm upset, it's taking a long time and I'm allowed to feel shit for a day. I get it out my system rather than holding it in then generally feel better the next day.
Yeah I've had that. Get really angry before with DH. It's true I feel like I do it all and he just had to dtd and when he's too knackered or busy Im just so annoyed as if he doesn't it's a whole cycle done with. He doesn't get it as obviously dtd is both of us, but I think us women take everything on as its our bodies. The tracking, the testing, the waiting, the heartbreak of AF. Which they just don't understand how stressful it is.
My opk went down last night but I think I'll do another tonight to be sure it's done. We dtd a little bit after I posted that message yesterday, I think it was done by then but you never know I guess.

Thanks for the kind words girls, had a bit of a downward slump but feeling better. Hope you are all ok! Just caught up on the rest of the thread glad to see some more positive posts, we are all on such a difficult journey but its so comforting to know you're not alone.

Anyone else had BV? I've noticed a reoccurrence of it since DTD more and that worries me slightly as I used to get it a lot in my early 20s and Dr Google does not give me much hope about my fertility. So I've been worrying about that a lot recently. X

God I’m so frustrated/ fed up. It’s been 6 weeks since I was told my fertility referral was being sent off. I chased it up today to be told that there’s been an in-house error and it actually hasn’t even been sent off from the GP practice yet 😭

Lovebug06 I’m glad you managed to get some DTD in. I definitely think (most?) men just don’t get it. Like you say we are so in tune with our bodies; timing ovulation, the TWW, AF arriving that it’s impossible for us to escape. I wish I could switch off like my OH does!

Sparky I have had BV before but I don’t get the classic odour symptom, my discharge just goes very watery (sorry TMI). It’s not surprising that you are having a flare up as the sperm will be altering your PH levels. I lie down for 15-20 mins or so after DTD then go to the toilet so it isn’t sitting in there for too long (again so sorry for TMI!). That seems to be keeping the BV at bay for now. I haven’t read about it affecting conception but believe it has been linked to miscarriage so worth getting it treated.

@CausingChaos2 oh no! That's so frustrating 😢
It's really pot luck with this kind of stuff. I've read some people wait ages & others get sorted in weeks. Fingers crossed it gets sorted, 🤞
For reference, I first caught up with my doc in Feb about this, so 6 weeks sounds about right. Hope you don't get delayed much longer.

@Lovebug06
On the baby shower, yeah she's my best and oldest friend - we've known each other since we were 4 & moved over to UK together, so we're each others family here. I'm genuinely excited about her baby coming - I feel like I'm going to be an auntie. However, it way harder than I thought to be organising this - it's a surprise for her.
I've had sooooooo many baby gifts come through my door from her family and friends it's driving my crazy 🤪

Just about to enter my window this weekend & this month I'm not tracking at all, so let's see how it goes 🤞

Hope everyone is ok 💕

Good luck for your FW and I admire your willpower to not track Jeanie Sending you the best positive vibes.

I’ll definitely be checking it’s been sent off this time, I first went to the GP in December last year so feels like I’ve been waiting a while just to even get referred now. I can just imagine the fertility clinic wanting to repeat some of the tests by the time we get seen. My OH will be thrilled (not) if he has to another semen analysis.

@CausingChaos2 we seem to have exactly the same timeline! First went to GP in December and finally was told I would get my referral sent off 5/6 weeks ago but I haven't heard anything from anyone yet. I'm a bit worried that the referral hasn't even made it to the fertility clinic yet. Very frustrating!

acaciabluebell What a coincidence! I’d definitely give your GP a call to chase it up. Hopefully yours has been sent off. Was the delay from December until referral due to them doing tests? I feel like I’ve had loads of tests done and by the time we get referred I’m worried they’ll be out of date.

@CausingChaos2 Yep exactly that, I had to do quite a few tests. I struggled to book some of the blood tests due to my period being late etc, and also had an appointment cancelled in December. So I did most of my tests in Jan and Feb. And we had a 2 month wait for a semen analysis appointment.

Also: I have the same fear as you! Ugh I'm gonna be so freaking pissed if they make us do the tests all over again. But I'm pretty certain that's what's gonna happen tbh 🙄 I've been told it's a 3-4 month wait for the clinic, plus wait just to get referred... nightmare

It’s so frustrating isn’t it acacia ? The inefficiency and cost of it all too. Not to mention some of the tests aren’t the most pleasant. Looks like we’ll be waiting until at least after summer before getting seen then? Sigh!

How is everyone getting on? I’m CD9 and have had peak fertility on clear blue this morning. I have short cycles but this is still a couple of days early for me. We DTD on CD6, and today, but feel like the ship has already sailed this month now!

Hello how is everyone?

I've just caught up on this thread. I find after AF I usually have some time out of reading on all the baby threads. I dip in and out but I am usually on them when I'm wsiitng for AF and when it comes. Maybe for support from those who understand the heartbreak?

11dpo here. Cycle 16 has weirdly flown by.
DH sperm analysis tommorow finally.
I gather whatever the results I can be referred to a clinic due to how long it's taking? I hope so anyway.

@Lovebug06 Im the same hun. Always take time off a month then the waiting etc kills me so i findd comfort on these chats. Had multiple positive tests over the weekend but i feel like AF is coming.

DH has sperm analysis last week so waiting on results too. Ive only had bloods done so far so waiiting for next steps from the doctors.

Noone ever tells you how hard this can be. Hope youre okay lovely

@Msd2416 you had positive tests? That's sounds great.
My friend felt her AF coming in both her pregnancies but it never did come, she said it felt exactly the same. So fingers crossed for you for good news!
I'm the same as you. Had bloods done. Was months ago though, DH finally getting his SA done. Then I guess referral to fertility clinic.
Yeah I'm okay, I can feel a bit of anxiety setting in now it's close. My anxiety is because I get such dread at how bad I am going to feel when AF comes. I just can't even imagine it happening now, so I just dread the heartbreak. And just hope maybe one day I'll be surprised... But the longer times goes on the less likely I feel that could happen.
TTC is so hard. People just don't understand. When I have tried to talk to someone they don't get it and I've then felt worse and wish I hadn't bothered! Whereas on these threads people really do understand. X

Hi @Lovebug06 not bad thanks. AF came on my birthday what a lovely surprise. NOT!
I've been treated for another BV infection which is shit, they swabbed me and waiting for results, they said my cervix was very red and inflamed, hoping its just BV and nothing else. So concentrating on getting those bits back in good health before TTC again, hopefully it will be cleared up before FW again in a few weeks xx

@sparkylauz oh no. Of all the days to arrive as well! That is crap. Hope your feeling a bit better now.
That doesn't sound good, although glad they know and are treating it.
So you are near the start of your cycle then, I'm near the end of mine, can't believe how quickly this one has gone, it's so odd I feel like even the TWW has flown. Yet now I'm 11dpo and it is now dragging.....

AF has arrived so cycle 17 now.
I've been positive. Had other good news which meant I felt good and had my mind on other things even yesterday and most of today. Haven't been anxious like normal, it's been great. But it made no difference to how awful I felt when it came and how I feel now. I know ill be fine tommorow. But right now I feel like my heart is physically hurting. The pain of ttc when it's just not happening after so long is just awful.

Oh Lovebug sending you a virtual hug and hope you’ve managed to look after yourself today, or even better that DH has done it for you. It is a physical pain - you are so right. I really do hope we all get the news we need (whether it just happens or we need some help) very soon, and that once we’ve got our little ones all these worries and hurt melt away into distant memories. We will cherish it all the more when we have our babies.

Our friend got married this weekend so we had a lovely time and like you were, I’m 7dpo and feeling pretty good. Not expecting a BFP this month but just feeling content. I know none of that will be any comfort with AF arrives in a week. It’s so tough, just know that you are far from alone