TTC 8 months in, still early days but starting to feel more and more every time AF arrives

[30somethingyorkie]

Thought I'd start this post as hoping there are some lovely ladies in a similar boat to me.

DH and I are now 8 months in TTC and no luck. We both really want it to happen though he does have a son already so not always as emotional about AFs arrival every month as I am.

I know it's early days still and some have to go a lot longer but I'm now starting to get to the worried/upset stage. Get pangs of sadness when I see a baby bump or something pregnancy related in the shops, on TV or online.

Would love to hear and support others who are in the same boat as me

@Izzie94 @MJM1608 Thank you for asking, I don't like posting as I know how painful it can be.

All ok here, had my 12 weeks scan last week.
They are identical twins so I'm going to be monitored really closely and scanned every fortnight as they are high risk which is really scary. I'm just trying to focus on getting them here safely 🤞🏻

Sorry to not hear of any more positive news. At least by the sound of things a lot of you are now getting tests and support from gp.

Sending loads of baby dust to you all!!

@30somethingyorkie @MJM1608 so happy for you both x
@Izzie94 @CausingChaos2 have either of you used pre seed? X
@CausingChaos2 thankyou for that. I didn't know the term had changed either x

@Lovebug06 thank you - keep fighting on ❤️❤️ I really rate preseed & used it every month, every time we DTD. 100% recommend - although not sexy one bit!

@30somethingyorkie how amazing - you will have your hands full! 😊 glad you’re doing well, it’s such an anxious time but you just have to look after yourself as best you can ❤️

@MJM1608 ohhhhh lovely I am so SO happy for you 🥰🤰 how amazing. I really hope I get to experience it once in my life!!! Always wanted 2/3 kids and now I’d be grateful for one haha. I’m going to get DH to call his doctors at the end of this cycle to do a sperm test. It’s the only thing we haven’t had done!! I’m really hoping this year is my year. Please keep us updated, I LOVE it!!!!

@30somethingyorkie ahhhh so amazing 😍 I love hearing all your stories, I’m so glad you ladies are not still on this long ass journey with us. I’m ready to give up 🤣 but I’m glad you’re well and keeping them babies safe.

@Lovebug06 we got some last month but kept forgetting to use it haha! I haven’t had my static smiley yet BUT I’m going to use it this month!!🤞🏼 I may take next month off opks but we’ll see haha!

Feeling a bit down tonight after my SIL announcing to me she’s 3 days late (they were trying to conceive and on month 4! The longest ever time to try for them) I’m of course happy for them, but when it’s so close to home it hits you doesn’t it just hope in a way she tells me soon so I can get over it and move on concentrating on myself. I’m probably overreacting lol xx

@MJM1608 thankyou. I can't even imagine it happening now but I am hoping I'll be surprised so badly!
@Izzie94 did your SIL AF come? I'd be the same, happy for them but it's devestating for you. Especially when it feels they have got it so quickly. If it has happened, I really hope your okay and I'm sending you love ❤️

How is everyone on this thread doing?

Lovely to see the babies are doing well. Very excited for you both MJM and yorkie

I’m ok thanks Lovebug just plodding along. I had my pelvic ultrasound which came back as normal. Referral has now been made to fertility clinic, although I’m a little confused as thought the first referral would be to the local hospital to check for gynae issues. Instead I’m being sent straight to the clinic.

How are you? Whereabouts are you in your cycle?

@CausingChaos2 let us know how it goes. Glad your ultrasound came back normal too!
I am 15dpo. My AF did not come yesterday but I have many times had it come late or in the night so I fully expected it this morning. I haven't been to the loo for ages as I'm scared to look.
My stomach is really aching and cramping today so I am sure it's coming and just late.
I don't actually have any tests either so that's why I haven't done any. I will leave it a while if it didn't show as I feel like id be tempting fate if I went and bought one. Silly I know but I used to find the negatives awful!

Aww glad to see all 3 babies are doing well on here!!

I was 2 days late this month thats never happened to me before I was convinced it was the month, but AF came last Weds, so cruel!
I've just had another close friend announce she's 8 weeks, she started trying around same time as me too so it took her a bit longer, she said she was scared to tell me bless her. Trying SMEP this month as not done this before yet.

Spoke to fertility clinic and they are 3 months behind because of covid so we won't even get the initial consultation until around June which kind of sucks. Its such a rollercoaster of a ride this journey but I'm feeling OK. Glad for some nice weather and things are looking better on the lockdown front too so feeling a bit more positive

Xx

@Lovebug06 Sounds promising for you being late eeeek, fingers crossed this is it. Get yourself a frer and give us all some good news!! Xx

@sparkylauz the same has happened to me, AF has shown. Its also never late for me. I guess my post pill acne has decided to come back just to make me feel even worse! DH even got excited and went out and got me a test last night. I decided I'd wait till the morning but it wasn't to be. I'm glad I didn't test yesterday and waste it, the negative would have made me worse. The lateness and the spots did give me hope inside, I know on these threads I always say it won't happen, it's because I can't bear to get excited anymore, because of times like this. I feel such a fool, sometimes I wonder why I'm putting myself through this heartache. I'll let myself feel like this today and I won't feel bad for it, tommorow is a new day after all.

That's good to know about the fertility clinic, I guess I better try and get onto that myself very soon then if there's a wait. I'm glad your feeling okay and positive. I hope my post doesn't make you feel bad, I'm sure in a few days I'll be feeling better and like you are too!

@lovebug06 how are you this weekend? The start of the next cycle is the worst part isn't it. I totally feel your pain. Its getting harder and harder now. Never thought I would ever be in this position, I know 12 months doesn't seem that long but 14 cycles of this rollarcoaster of a ride now added 2 close friends who are pregnant who started trying after us it makes it so much harder.

I think I'm just entering FW now at CD11, started with the OPKs again today xx

Hey ladies!

Sorry to hear we’ve had zero good news yet 🥺 I’m CD33, AF due Monday. I started feeling really hopeful, we timed DTD PERFECTLY, had some milky cm from about 5dpo to 10dpo (which is different for me!) but then I got my usual sore boobs and they didn’t feel AS sore this morning so, counting myself out already.

Will be going onto cycle 16, and my god it doesn’t get easier. Does anyone else try and stay positive BUT can’t ever imagine getting those two lines??? 😩 it really sucks. I don’t even care if it takes another 8 months, I’m just praying now it happens naturally and we don’t have to fork out 10k on IVF and all those hormones pumped into you :(

Hope you’re all doing ok, seems like we’re all feeling as fed up as each other!

I found out my SIL wasn’t pregnant. So that’s month 6 now for her, her first 2 she fell the first month so she’s struggling now and did reach out to me to apologise which was lovely. But it did make me realise how pot luck it is!! Xx

Hi Izzie, sorry to hear you're also feeling the same as us. I was a bit silly with the testing last month and used a cheap clearblue a few days after AF 'just in case it wasn't a proper period' ....well anyway a clear cross came up which I thought may be an evap line , but still sort of got my hopes up and had to buy some FRERs on amazon same day delivery to double check! Obvs turned out to be bfn, but I had a slight glimpse of what a positive might feel like it made me feel so fuzzy and warm inside and i want sooo bad to feel that for real next time. We really all need a big boost!!

You're totally not out yet this month BTW!!

I'm glad your SIL apologised and understands a little on how you must be feeling. But yeah it really does sound like it's down to pot luck!

Hi everyone. I'm on CD5, just started cycle number 14. Feeling so so so demotivated and tired about all of this now. It just feels like my body is broken. 14 cycles of doing everything literally perfectly, timing everything right and drowning in vitamins and supplements, and nothing! And yet some people get pregnant by accident from having sex ONE TIME without even thinking. Seems so unbelievable

@SparkyLauz it absolutely sucks doesn’t it! I can’t imagine what it feels like getting partly excited to then have it taken away from you. I think that’s worse than just getting AF on time :( I started CD1 today, feeling a little sad. No 2020 baby and now no 2021 baby. Just feels crazy to say we started trying / came off contraceptive January 2020!!! I was 25, but I’ll be 27 soon. Yet my best friend start trying the same as me and her baby is 6 months old. It really feels completely unfair. We’re having this month off as due to family birthdays, January isn’t a good month for us! :(

@acaciabluebell so so sorry you’re still here too lovely. Seems we’re all long term ttc’ers now - which I never thought I’d be at 25/26!! I really need some motivation and something just to make me feel like it’s going to happen!! I do too feel like my body is broken, like come onnnnn. How do you not know what to do body :(

Hope you’re all spending your Easter Sunday consuming lots of chocolate eggs, hot cross buns and maybe even gin at this rate LOL.

I previously paid £150 for fertility testing for myself. I think me and DH are going to go for the £400 ones, which test him too and me in more depth just to help us relax. Maybe it’ll work! I’ll let you guys know what it involves if I get round to booking it in the week x

@Izzie94 I completely relate 😣 I was 24 when I started and never thought I would be in this position, well on my way to 26 now. It's so frustrating. Sometimes I just want to scream!!! Ughh..

So instead of screaming (lol) I'm channeling my energy into taking a gazillion supplements. This month I started Soy Isoflavones which is a natural Clomid. I think I have trouble ovulating each month so I thought that maybe it could help. I'm also taking tons of vitamins, CoQ10 for egg quality and Evening Primrose Oil to help with cm as I don't have much ewcm these days. God I hope this works because downing 18 pills a day isn't fun!

Also, I would definitely recommend getting your DH tested if you haven't already. MFI accounts for like 40-50% of all infertility. In our case we recently found out my DH has only 2% normal sperm morphology which could be one of the reasons why haven conceived yet.

@acaciabluebell isn’t it horrible thinking of it like that! I hate when people say you’re still young etc. Yes, I know but I wanted a baby when I was ready last year!! 😩 going to be 30 this rate, which again is fine but I really wanted to be mid twenties. Ugh.

Oh my god, I was looking this morning at new prenatal to take! I was looking at Luisa Zuismans Instagram and she recommends COQ10. What brand did you go for? I’m definitely investing! And I might try soy isoflavones too! I think I ovulate but I don’t temp so I can’t guarantee it! Isn’t it annoying that we’re in our “prime” fertility and yet we’re trying all we can and I have girl mates who have an “accident” and fall first time. Pffft whatevr 😩

Oh really? That’s so interesting!!! My doctors weren’t interested as he has a son already but like we even said that could have been some serious luck!!! I think he’s getting more concerned it’s him and I feel bad because I blamed myself for ages :( I know it’s normal to take healthy couples 2 years but I can’t help but resent people now who conceive quickly! Xx

@Izzie94 completely relate to you. It's absolutely depressing especially when so many people (even on TTC boards) casually say things like "oh I had my first child so easily but I was in my 20s then" makes me feel so abnormal for struggling at this age.

I got Nutravita Ubiquinol 200mg (120 pills, so a 4 month supply) from Amazon, it was a little bit pricey tbh but it was an impulse buy on my part 😂 Ubiquinol is like an enhanced version of COQ10, more easily absorbed in the body or something. This is my first proper month taking it, you need to take it for a few months for it to have an effect.

Ahh urgh I know GPs can be annoying like that as they have strict criteria about so many things. If they absolutely refuse to order a semen analysis for him maybe you could look into getting it tested privately? Sperm quality can change over time, due to age and lifestyle but also just randomly. In fact I have a friend whose husband got her pregnant when they were in their teens, but he now (late 20s) has got a condition called azoospermia where he has absolutely no sperm at all, which they only realised after TTC for 2 years. Obvs that's very rare and I don't mean to scare you, I just think it's important to get checked, both male and female to make sure things are all good.

Hey ladies!

How are you all?

Thought I’d give you an update which may help some of you- I spoke to a fertility specialist last week, she was LOVELY. And if you do have someone near you that can give you a free consultation, I HIGHLY recommend it. I learnt more from her than my doctors. She went through my previous blood results and thinks my progesterone is very low. She doesn’t think I ovulated that cycle (it was 30.2) although from the doctors perspective 30 is the cut off to show you did, as a specialist she likes to see that a lot higher for a healthy egg and for pregnancy to occur. She’s recommended I go back to my doctor for day 2 or 3 tests and another 21 (she’d like to see this done for 3 months in a row but said the doctors may not allow that). I called my doctor and I got through to a lovely lady (I had a man before) who’s a little more clued up in fertility and has also said my previous results are very low!! So looks like I may no be ovulating, but getting a period (only 2 days) every month. Which is possible. I don’t want to frighten any of you, but I feel so much Happier I may be getting answers!!

Happy Friday girls xx

Hi @Izzie94 I'm good thanks. 3DPO followed smep to a tee this month so fingers crossed this is it haha.

Thanks for the info that's good to know. So when the lady said she doesn't think you ovulated did you get a positive OPK that month? Do you use OPKs? I use them and always get a positive around the same time each month so I take it that I've ovulated... I have 24/25 day cycles and periods last 2 days (never ever any longer) and always spotting a few days either side. Is this similar for you?

I haven’t read through everyone’s replies so sorry for my general message to all but it’s just so shit that none of us have had any luck recently.

My period has come today and I’m so upset/ fed up this month. Sick of my body not doing the most simple thing it is meant to do. 😭 Honestly feel like it will never happen now so I may as well give up rather than put myself through this rollercoaster any longer.

@causingchaos2 sending virtual hugs I feel exactly the same, sorry that AF is back again. I'm on the slow ride up the rollercoaster in TWW but not even getting hopes up this time. I just want to get all my tests done NOW so I can know if there is something that's stopping me from getting pg and something can be done about it.
Me and DH already planning our future if we don't have children in it which is crazy, and my 2 friends who got pg during lockdown are wanting to meet up in the near future now restrictions are easing, it sounds so awful, as happy as I am for them I don't want to see them it's just going to make me feel worse.

@CausingChaos2 it sounds like you are at rock bottom with it. Maybe just take a few months off and focus on yourself, make some plans with friends /family go to a bottomless brunch or out for some nice meals with cocktails and take your mind off it completely. Xx

Thank you Lauz 💐 you’re right, I do feel completely worn out from it all. It’s so hard isn’t it? It doesn’t sound awful at all about your friends, I would delay seeing them, use worries about covid if need be.

Completely understand about the tests - once we know we can either do something about it or come to some sort of acceptance. It’s this limbo land in the middle that’s really tough.

I really hope this is your month Lauz and sorry for not catching up on the whole thread before posting xx

@SparkyLauz I do use OPKs and I’ve always got a positive. It may be that my bloods taken in July were a little out of whack and an odd cycle! So I’ll let you know when I next get my bloods done (it will be May now as I wanted day 2 done the same month) I did spot before AF for 4 months in a row but then I stopped spotting! I did speak to my sister who has 5 babies (inside i’m jealous haha!) and her periods are only ever 2-4 days depending on the month. So maybe I’m looking too much into it! I just started taking ubiniquol which is meant to help egg quality. I read Luisa Zuismans maybe baby! I’ve also got a follow up with the private clinic, so I’ll again share results ☺️ If I can help some of yous too that would be lovely.

@CausingChaos2 oh I am so sorry you’re feeling like that :( it comes in waves for me, and I too can’t imagine ever falling pregnant now. But I’m really trying to see mind over matter. I have a few friends that gave up trying and fell, not saying that works because I’ve tried it!! But DH and I have booked a holiday to Mexico for next April (let’s hope covid allows!) instead of keep putting stuff on hold in case we’re pregnant. And honestly it’s made me feel so much better🤍 instead of thinking baby constantly I’m thinking of getting fit and in shape to be in a bikini lol.

I do really recommend a free consultation if you find somewhere online, the lady I spoke to has 15 years of fertility experience and guides women for natural fertility and IVF. She also recommended acupuncture can really help. I didn’t realise TTC would be so difficult and hard on my mental health. I was also advised OPKS can be a little useless as you know we get LH surges throughout our cycle, it doesn’t guarantee we’ve ovulated. She also said tracking cervical mucus is so important and seeing those changes. I haven’t seen EWCM for a couple months now so I’m wondering if my hormones are a bit out of whack xx