TTC 8 months in, still early days but starting to feel more and more every time AF arrives

[30somethingyorkie]

Thought I'd start this post as hoping there are some lovely ladies in a similar boat to me.

DH and I are now 8 months in TTC and no luck. We both really want it to happen though he does have a son already so not always as emotional about AFs arrival every month as I am.

I know it's early days still and some have to go a lot longer but I'm now starting to get to the worried/upset stage. Get pangs of sadness when I see a baby bump or something pregnancy related in the shops, on TV or online.

Would love to hear and support others who are in the same boat as me

Welcome tavileh you’re in good company

It’s good that your bloods came back clear, are you going to keep trying for now or ask for more investigations? Fingers crossed you get your BFP very soon!

Thanks CausingChaos2, its really nice to find others in the same boat :)

Carrying on trying, I'm just in the TWW now, using a Clearblue Fertility Monitor for a few months to make sure we're timing right. I started pre-conceive vitamins last month too. Anyone else got things they're trying?

I keep changing my mind about whether to try lots of things, like giving up caffeine and alcohol, doing slightly less running, etc, and then just deciding to carry on with life (as much as one can during covid!)

@CausingChaos2 I’m not sure why I take breaks from mumsnet really as you girls on here are much more supportive and understanding than my friends!! Only a few know, the ones who do conceived easily so all they say is “you really need to just relax” 🙄 and I want to scream at them!! Haha!! That’s a really good way to look at it. Definitely intending to be more positive this year! And hoping for a pregnancy by the end of 2021 🥰 not pressuring myself into being pregnant in a few months lol! Oh that’s so annoying isn’t it! 🥺 I hate when our cycles do that. They defo play tricks now were TTC!! Glad you’re getting a move on with your GP! I’m really hoping we all get some positive news ASAP✨ This year is our year!!!! I’m tempted to call my GP and just see if there’s anything they can do, but I don’t think they’ll do much more of us as of DH’s DS. But I can always ask! Let us know how you get on at the docs ☺️ X x

@tavileh welcome lovely!✨ sorry you’re joining us on this long ass journey 😭 feels so completely unfair doesn’t it! It really hit me hard. When I started ttc in Jan 2020, my aim was to be pregnant by Christmas (Ideally a baby but a few months in I realised I was being silly!) so the end of the year really sucked!! But 2021 is our year girls 🤍 I love coming on MN to realise I am not alone and we’re so very very normal!!! I’m always worried it’s me that has the issues 🙄 my DH is always telling me not to worry and that it’ll happen for us. But us women look way more into things don’t we! 😂

I’ve been so slack with making changes but I am determined this year. I’m taking seven seas (first month now so I hope they don’t mess me up!), pre-seed fertility lube, clear blue dual hormone! And I am also having 1 coffee per day, then switching to decaf if I want another. I work at home at the moment and I can’t stop drinking coffee!! We’ve also both been quite bad for weeekend drinking - not loads, but sometimes a bottle of wine between us and couple rums 🤣 so we’re going to try and be better with that too! But hey, it’s been a crazy rough year haha.

We WILLLL all get our BFPS this year. Manifesting for us all x x

@tavileh welcome to the group 💖

@izzie94 good to see you back 😊😊

AF arrived yesterday. Right on time lol just as my friend showed the group chat her 12 week scan . Typical! I got a little upset but I'm ok. Onto cycle 11 now for us. This is the first month I didnt test early and stuck to my guns and waited for AF so yay for me I havent wasted any money on pg tests this month haha!

I was talking with DH last night and we figured that if we had got PG the first month we were trying we would be due any day now, in normal pre covid times I would have been sad about this but right now I am feeling a bit lucky that I wont have to go through it all in the middle of another lockdown and the same goes for if I fell on month 2 I would be due next month (would still be in lockdown) and month 3... March we may still be in lockdown? etc etc. So we are still firmly believing the delay in our BFP is all for a reason. Im keeping really positive.
I'm now furloughed again for at least 7 weeks so I'm going to focus ever more on being the healthiest I can possibly be mentally and physically ready for when bump comes along.

Hope you're all okay xx

SparkyLauz I so agree, I keep thinking this is all for a reason, so that we didn't have to go through a covid pregnancy with all of the anxiety! It will happen in its own good time, and when it does, hopefully things will be back to normal and our DHs can join us in the hospital properly!

Izzie94 I know what you mean about making changes.. my approach has been totally mental. One month I'll be mega good, and do loads of things, the next I'll ignore all the rules and try to forget we're even TTC! I think its defence mechanisms, trying not to get overwhelmed by it.. But for the past couple of months, I've been good about taking my vitamins and about using the clearblue monitor, and I'm going to attempt a dry Jan and to limit to 1 coffee a day (+ decaf, I agree, working from home its too hard not to!). I make no commitments about my chocolate intake, there's only so much you can do at once Gotta be kind to ourselves, esp in Lockdown 3.

tavileh it’s really hard to know what to give up, if anything, isn’t it? I’m lucky that I don’t often have hot drinks so not depriving myself there but am partial to a can of coca-cola every other day or so. Thing is, as we’ve learnt the hard way, TTC can take a fair while, so as long as your lifestyle isn’t majorly unhealthy I think it’s best to just carry on as normal.

Izzie94 Would definitely be worth a phone call to your GP, it seems really unfair that you don’t get the same amount of help just because you have a step son. Yes it’s a lovely supportive thread isn’t it 😊 I know you ladies ‘get it’ when so many people don’t.

SparkyLauz Well done for resisting the temptation to test! Sorry that AF has turned up. That’s so true about timings - giving birth would have been during a very uncertain and scary time a few months ago. Glad you’ve got some respite on furlough now to focus on yourself.

My update is I had my GP telephone appt. She said testing can bring on stress that affects ovulation. She was happy to do initial tests though, although bit confused as to begin with she said any time of the month. When I queried the timing she then said to do them on day 2 and day 14 next cycle as well. She’s left me with the choice of having it done either two or three times (random, day 2 & 14 or just leaving the random one).
Next step after that will be an ultrasound scan. Does anyone know if that’s usually an internal? I struggle with those so hope not.

Lovely to see everyone back and chatting again 🥰
My AF is due in a few days. I will wait for that and then go to the doctors as its now a year.
I'm feeling really positive now there's a whole year it could happen again. I have no idea why and it probably sounds strange especially after being totally devestated at my last AF before Xmas but it's good to be feeling positive. I'm not sure if I'll be feeling the same when AF appears but I hope so!
I hope we see some more bfps in this
group in the next few months xx

Oh and not sure if any of you see an influencer announced her pregnancy and her ttc journey and said its been tough when I looked she conceived on her 2nd cycle I did have a laugh to myself, some people have no idea how tough it can be. I'm glad I saw that whilst I'm feeling okay though or id have probably cried my eyes out 😂 xx

Hello ladies - any idea or help on what implantation cramps feel like!?
I have like really mild cramps 1 week after ovulation.
TIA

Which influencer was it @lovebug06? Ooooh you're really close then this could be the month for you! 🤞🤞 I know what you mean about feeling positive. New year fresh start and it will happen for us at some point this year and cant wait!!

@causingchaos2 I had my bloods done today im on CD5 though as this is the closest they could fit me in at the beginning of my cycle. AF was done by CD3 (which is normal for me). Never mentioned when my next one was, going off everyone else they usually do it around ovulation don't they? Hoping my gp calls next week to advise.
I think they do ultrasound external but there is other tests they do that are internal. I hate those too but if it must be done, got to grin and bare it eeek.

@izzie94 you should definitely go back to your GP! Just because your partner has a dc doesn't mean things haven't changed for him since then and you havrnt had a child before so they should still put you forward for tests even if they're not willing to do it for him. Xx

I'm sorry @laura2093 I wish I knew what it feels like but unfortunately never been PG yet 😭

@Lovebug06 hahahaha Elle Darby? I’ve actually had to unfollow her. I loved her SO much. And I don’t mean to be bitter, but she’s saying she didn’t cope well and it really stressed her out and she knew she didn’t ovulate in the first month, and conceived the second? So technically the first month she ovulated she conceived 🙄 I know we sound bitter and jealous and I’m really not (kind of haha!!!) but she really has NO idea!!! 😂 everyone has their own journey I know, but I really feel like people who get pregnant easily really don’t understand how it is for us. I’m also feeling positive with a new year, it’s so strange! Like, if it doesn’t happen this year we’ll defo need some help so I kind of feel closer to my goal 🥰 I really hope AF doesn’t show for you lovely! Fingers crossed and keep us updated!

@SparkyLauz I’m tempted to ring them Monday and see if there’s anything they’ll do! You’re right, so much can change and I feel like it’s really unfair 😟 I’m really hoping this is our year girls 🤍 got a positive feeling for us al! We deserve it so much!!!

I had my bloods done on CD21, well it was just after as I have 32 day cycles ☺️ And I also had an ultrasound - privately! It was internal and it was HUGE!!!! 😳 not to scare you haha. It was uncomfortable but reassuring.

@laura2093 sorry hun no idea from me either!! They’re meant to be milder than period cramps. Keep us updated!! Xx

Hi ladies hope you are all well. I'm in my TWW AF due in 4 days and only got sore boobs, normally have cramping too. But 100% not getting my hopes up as didn't DTD as much as I'd of liked this month.
How are you all feeling?
I'm with you @Izzie94 and @SparkyLauz hoping it's not happened yet for a reason and 2021 will be a better year.
Thinking about going to the gp next month as it will have been a full year but didn't realise I might not be able to have test etc because of DH having a DS, that is so unfair!!

@laura2093 afraid we are all trying for the first time so no don't knows what it would feel like though I've read similar to pmt cramps. Best to wait out for AF and then do a test if no sign I would say

@laura2093 I am no help as never been pregnant but I also would like to know this. I've had some light cramps on one side. However I seem to get different symptoms every month so it's probably nothing😂
@30somethingyorkie good luck. I am due in a couple of days. Its the awful wait now 😭 I hope it's your month. I will also go to the gp if my period comes this week, which I just know it will(I know this seems negative but I can't tell myself I'm pregnant as I then find it more upsetting when my period comes)
@sparkylauz elle darby. She seems a sweet girl but seriously saying how tough she found it, she conceived on her Second cycle!
@Izzie94 yes elle. Seems a sweet girl but I couldn't believe it when I see that. If she found it that tough imagine what's its like after a year 😂 I was feeling good so in all honesty I just laughed but if I was feeling down it would have upset or made me angry. What if she has followers going through ivf? I know everybody's journey is different but bloody hell I at least expected it to be a few months when she said how tough and stressful it was. She needs to put out there how lucky she is, not make out it was awful.
So I've been feeling super positive but I've seen another friend is pregnant and had a gender reveal yesterday and it made me wobble a bit. Kept off social media. My MIL also has no idea, keeps talking about babies and how easy she had them and how much her other DILS love their babies and its all babies babies babies. I've told her I don't want to talk about them, it's painful. She doesn't mean it horrible she just doesn't get it, and carries on. So I'm keeping my distance right now.
2021 is our year girls ❤️

Trying to to symptom spot but last night had more thick CM and today woke up with a killer headache which isn't my normal xxx

Hi everyone.
Hope your all doing ok.
I'm currently 5do. I've noticed a few symptoms over the last few days including, frequency urinating (i thought I may have had a water infection but seems to have settled), headaches, really tired, and today I've had some cramping/twinges on one side and some spotting. It feels too early for implantation bleeding though so don't really know what's going on. May wait afew days then do a test. AF isn't due til the 19th.
If I don't get a bfp this month I think I'm going to ask the gp for next stage of tests.
Sending lots of luck and baby dust. Hope 2021 is our year! xx

@30somethingyorkie keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you lovely!! It’s about time for another BFP on here 🤩 I know it’s so unfair isn’t it. I am going to call the GP after this month and see if there’s anything else they’ll offer. I really don’t get how they won’t help just because DH has a DS already. I know it’s the NHS etc, but I pay my damn taxes!!!!! Can’t help who you get together with. It’s not unusual for there to be Step children involved these days 🙄 I’m feeling quite positive. I feel like it’s a fresh year. And I keep telling myself maybe it took a year for my body to readjust to coming off the pill as for months I had horrendous acne!!!! It only went around September last year. That’s me thinking positive anyway 🤣

@Lovebug06 she seems so so sweet and after her mum passing it’s such a blessing. Any baby is a blessing BUT I do think she could have approached the situation differently. Like of course she’s allowed to feel stressed that month, but I think as an influencer you need to understand that won’t be the same for all your followers and now she sounds like a fool 😂 honestly lovely, coming off social media is SO refreshing 🤍 I’ve done it too. Because all I saw at Xmas was baby announcements. We compare our lives so much to those on social media it’s not even real!!!! There’s so many editing apps etc, none of it is real life. It’s really helped refresh my mind 🤩 I do have my morning browse though (I’m a little obsessed HA) we’ve got this!!! BFPS are coming!!!!! 🤰

@laura2093 how long have you been ttc? Is this a new symptom for you? Albeit my symptoms change month on month! Wishing you luck!!

@RCF2503x eeee good luck 🤩 you’ve got this!!! Have you spoken to the Gp previously? / already had tests? So sorry my memory is awful it’s like I need reminding 🤣 I really hope this is your month and you won’t need to speak to them! Seem like good symptoms though lovely.

I feel like we all need to do an update, I always forget where everyone’s at 😅

I’m not sure if you girls remember me saying about my SIL trying for her third? And making comments that she always falls straight away? WELL, she’s now in month 3, no BFP and messaged me to say she doesn’t know how I’ve done it this long! So I felt a bit smug (without being mean lol!!!) that it hasn’t happened for her yet. Goes to show that there’s really no reason or rhythm to it! Xx

@RCF2503x well if that if different for you this month it sounds good. I hope it's your month. Its so hard to tell because a lot of period and pregnancy symptoms are the same!
@Izzie94 I so so hope the lovely girls on this thread are all with bumps or babies and this heartache feels a distant memory by the end of this year. I can't actually imagine my AF not coming or actually getting a bfp. Just feels like a dream. It was my dhs dc birthday a few days ago and they were talking about them as a newborn and being born and all the baby stuff, totally normal but my heart started aching for myself as I want that so much. Feels like I can't escape babies or baby talk and when your dh has dc already even they don't understand the yearn inside for them. Your dh has a ds doesn't he? Amazing but hard at the same time when your trying.
@laura2093
I've had a few of these symptoms too. But if it's different for you then that's a positive thing I'm sure. Fingers crossed xx

@Izzie94 oh and forgot to reply to your SIL bit. I guess at least she is saying she can't imagine how hard it is. Its the ones a couple of months in saying they know how you feel that does me in😂 my friend is saying she's the same as me and its awful (couple of months off contraceptive, not even trying just seeing how it goes) and I am holding my tongue.... For now 😂 xx

Hey ladies,

Hope it's okay to jump on your thread. Me and my other half have been TTC for two years now and at times I'm finding things difficult and don't really have anyone around me I can talk to about it as no one knows we're TTC. Seeing friends around me getting pregnant has been super difficult even though I'm over the moon for them. I do have a little boy from my marriage (now divorced) but this would be the first child for my partner and since having him I've been diagnosed with PCOS. Currently on round one of two Clomid courses after trying 3 rounds of Letrozole which unfortunately I didn't ovulate on.

@Crazydoglady123 welcome. This thread is full of some lovely girls and we are all in the same boat. That sounds really tough, I hope clomid works for you🤞. It's so hard with friends, your happy for them, but it's deveststing for you as it's want you want so bad. I have been the same with a friends and family of mine xx

Update girls. AF arrived early. For all my positivity of the new year, I won't deny I went to bed last night in tears and I feel very deflated this morning. I haven't even told my dh yet, I will when he gets home from work. I feel like it's never going to happen. I will call the doctors this week now. I'll pull myself out of my misery and return to my positivity for a new month later or tommorow ❤️

@Lovebug06 Thank you. It's nice to finally be able to talk with other women in my position. Gutted for you with AF! And what the hell is going on with AF this month...I've heard lots of people say they've come on early plus myself included had an early one this month!!! It's hard to keep up beat and positive when you're forever getting little blows like these. Keep your chin up lovely. Sending you virtual hugs

@crazydoglady123 hello! welcome to the group! sorry to hear of your struggles TTC also. I've heard a lot of good things about Clomid so fingers crossed this will work for you xx

@lovebug06 aww no, another AF. Its such a rollarcoaster of emotions this cycle of TTC isn't it Xx

I'm CD9 so fertile window coming up for me. DH has his innitial dr appt on Thursday to refer for semen analysis. Hoping there isn't a long wait for the referral x

No idea whats going on here as started spotting again this morning?! 6 days since AF finished. I used to get this a lonnng lonnnng time ago before I went on the pill, never found out what caused it. Anyone else had this before?

SparkyLauz TMI but have you DTD? I’ve had spotting before but only after sex, it turned out to be ‘cervical erosion’ which is not as scary as it sounds!

Haven’t read through everyone’s replies yet, but hope everyone is ok and some BFPs are in the pipeline!