Trying to conceive baby No 1 over 40

[October1979]

I am 40 nearly 41 and ttc baby no1. I fell pregnant for the first time in December but suffered a missed miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks in February. I've been trying ever since with no luck. I use Clearblue advanced fertility monitor. Take vitamin B, C and Co Q10 as well as pre conception tablets daily. Until lockdown I did weekly acupuncture. I guess I'm feeling low as af turned up today and I turn 41 very soon.

I am usually positive and hopeful. Trying to think what's for me won't go past me...

Looking for some buddies in the same boat or some over 40s who conceived naturally to give me hope and share their secret to success.

I've had my first one@birdbybird.

@birdbybird I've had my first one too, second due on 22nd may

Thanks for replying @October1979 and @Marvellouslymadmum.
Did you still ttc the cycle in which you had the jab?
Does it make any difference when in the cycle you have it?
Did it cause any odd changes eg was the next cycle was early or late?
So many questions

@sabtom. @Marvellouslymadmum

Agree One step LH strips and HCG strips are terrible! They same to have hardly any dye in them. Total waste of money

I’ve finally had ovulation confirmed on ff which tells me I’m 3DPO so the wait begins...! Strangely I have a mild backache and a few twinges on my right side. I know it’s way to early for implantation symptoms so that’s confused me

@birdbybird yes I carried on ttc and was just in the tww when I had the jab, did nothing to my cycle

@Honey2 sounds like ovulation pain, I usually get it sometime from peak in the next few days and my back as he and cramps last until af apart from this month where I've had nothing at all

@birdbybird I had my jab 1 week before getting bfp. Had a chemical pregnancy that cycle but I doubt they are related

Has anyone any thoughts on baby aspirin? I took it throughout my cycle last month and this. Read lots that says it reduces inflammation and help get blood to the womb. But also heard mixed reports on when you should take it. Some say it helps conception others wait till after as it may harm implantation? Any thoughts? I'm just trying to do things differently

@birdbybird I’ve also had my first jab - sadly I was still bleeding from a MC when I had it... (Despite the sad situation I decided to keep my apt as I knew I want we to TTC again and I though better to have it while I wasnt preg)

I do idn’t ovulate in the cycle straight after the MC bleeding, however I couldn’t put that down to the jab as things are all over the place after a MC aren’t they? My proper period came when it was due and I have since ovulated in this cycle also when I expected to so I would say it didn’t have any long term effect. Hope that helps a bit xx

@October1979 when I was prescribed it after my late loss I was told to wait until a positive preg test to start taking..

@Marvellouslymadmum can you continue to get ovulation pains even after you have ovulated?? You are right though it does feel like that kind of pain.

@Honey2 I do usually all the way from ovulation to af but I may have endo so it could be to do with that

Thank you @October1979 @Marvellouslymadmum and @Honey2
That’s really helpful!

@catconfusion. I'm sorry to hear about your test. It is real rollercoaster of excitement and then loss. I also had a baby last year (when I was 39) and had been pretty niave thinking it would just happen again. It's been a shock to consider that it might be too late.

My sister was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer last year and I have to go through genetic testing to see if I carried the same gene. I didn't want to conceive with that hanging over me so waited until I got the results to ttc...but I think it may have been too long

Thanks @wanderlove it really is hard. I’m sorry to hear about your sister. It sounds like you made the best decision you could at the time with the information you had. How long have you been trying now? You still have time even though it might not feel like it right now. Xx

@birdbybird I had my 1st AZ jab on CD 8 had no side effects, just a little tired. 2nd one was due 2 weeks ago but in the form it gives you a box to tick if you could be pregnant, I ticked it cause I was in my TWW and I could've potentially been pregnant. So I was advised to wait another week to make sure I wasn't (or was) and then get it done. However, because of my blood clot history I've been advised to have the Pfizer jab, and apparently the Pfizer and Moderna are the preferred jabs for pregnant women anyway.

If you have had your first jab as the AZ then are pregnant when it come to 2nd jab time can you ask to have the Pfizer or Moderna one??

I conceived naturally at 42 after 2-3 years of trying.

@Honey2 I think that's something that’s being looked at. I had the AZ and it made me really ill so there’s no way I’d have it in pregnancy or even if I thought I might be. Annoyingly my second jab would be just after when I think my fertile week would be. I’m going to speak to the GP so I’ll ask about the other vaccines and let you know. X

@Miranda15110 that's lovely to hear, thanks for sharing

@Catconfusion I'm the same, have my second jab booked for 22nd right around Ov day 🙄

@Catconfusion I’m so sorry. It’s exhausting and hard to feel like you can pick yourself up and start again. But you will. I hope you get some supportive care from your gp

@October1979 how are you doing? Hope your feeling ok. Did you get an update from your gp?

Week 9 here and going well so far. Very strong symptoms, wretching and nausea all day, shivers, insomnia and fatigue. As time goes on I’m getting more nervous as it feels like there is more at stake. But very Glad to be this far and past the early days. Though my last mc was 11 weeks. Booked in for a scan on tues, and consultation the following week, hopefully for NIPT. Nervous about the scan! Just hoping I can get through these 3 weeks, It’s so close but so far away!

Wishing everyone luck this cycle 🤞

Thanks @Bouncytree it’s so hard to stay positive but I’ll get there. I think secondary infertility is also a strange beast because you’re so grateful to have a child yet long for another and it just doesn’t seem right it might not happen when it’s happened before.

I’m so pleased it’s going well for you. I found this point so hard because it’s not far off when I got bad news with my first pregnancy. I think I got through it with ds by just focusing on small goals. Like getting through a morning. Each passing day improves your odds. I tried to expect good news rather than focus on what bad news might come. It’s so hard though. I hope Tuesday comes as quickly as it can and all goes well! Xx

Yes @Catconfusion it is puzzling on the second alright, you wonder what has happened in between. But so much is up to chance also. I think the word ‘infertility’ doesn’t help, it sounds like such a permanent thing...but you are only ‘infertile’ till you get pregnant again. It’s misleading and adds to the stress I think. You will move on and try again. But at the moment it’s time for healing and some tlc. It takes time to come to terms with what happened and gather the emotional energy again. Long cycles don’t help I’m sure. Be kind to yourself in these few weeks if you can.

Good to hear from you @Bouncytree I'm so pleased that your pregnancy is going well. Wonderful news. I know it must be nerve wracking but stay positive. Everything will be fine. My GP is phoning reoccurring miscarriage specialists for advice on my behalf. So hopefully I will get advice or reassurance that I'm doing everything I can. I've also booked in for a Skype call with an ivf clinic in Spain at the end of may to find out more about donor eggs. I'm not sure I'm there yet. But feel I have to have a time frame in place and if it hasn't happened by then either accept i may not have a child or peruse the donor route if I can't live without it. I suppose the question for me will be do I want to be a mother or not at that stage as opposed to how I want to become a mother

Thanks for your kind words @October1979. Hanging on in there.

Great your gp is being supportive. It makes a big difference. Arming yourself with information and options is the way to go. You will find your way through this.

Can I ask why ivf With your own eggs has been ruled out for you? I Am a year older and was told 15-20% chance of getting pregnant with ivf. Bearing in mind a 20 year old has a 20% chance of getting pregnant.

Are you still also trying naturally? I was also told I had a 5% chance of getting pregnant naturally. I’m pretty sure that was based on that Infamous french study from the 1800s.

@October1979
I think that is the right attitude: look into your options and be informed and then make the decisions at the time. You might not have planned donor eggs but if it gets to the time you have given yourself and it is the option left you have to weigh it up and see what feels right. I know as I get older I seem to have got less fixatated in the 'perfect' way to do things and are more pragmatic...it may not be the way you have planned or imagined but it may allow it to happen.

@birdbybird I had my jab last week 1 dpo. My sister had her 2nd at 3 months pg 2 weeks ago. Both of us had AZ. X